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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 1:53 am Post subject: Organized chaos, THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL! |
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ok Kupo wrote another small fic, devided in chapters. but keep in mind, THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL! No recurring characters, no spacetime continuem, no star trek just a fic. Enjoy the jokes, this is gonna be a comedy on so many levels.
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Organized Chaos
THIS IS NOT A SEQUEL!
Chapter 1: A Starbucks too far
“Henderson! Where is my coffee?” A deep voice yelled from behind a conveniently placed shroud in an ominously dark room.
“Right here sir.” Henderson shook as he handed the man behind in the conveniently placed shroud in the ominously dark shroud his coffee. Henderson was s small man, brightly colored plaid was all he was dressed in, either he was insane or he got lost on his way to his clothing outlet and ended up in ‘bed bath and beyond’.
The man behind the shroud slurped the coffee loudly. Then suddenly he shivered and through the cup at Henderson’s head. It hit him squarely in the bald spot hanging over his head.
“What? This isn’t decaf! I’ll be up all night, now bring me another or I’ll throw another coffee cup at your bald spot! Leave now baldy!” The man laughed as he spoke, like a bully taunting a robust child.
“Sir, its male pattern baldness it’s genetic.”
“Oh shut up Henderson!” The man through another coffee cup at Henderson’s head.
“Where did you get that coffee cup?” Henderson asked through the arms clutching his bald head.
“If you question how I get coffee cups to appear out of midair, you question the entire basis of organized chaos!” The man shouted.
“Alright sir.” Henderson ran out of the room like Michael Moor chasing the gremlin’s in Tattoine just like that strange dream I had.
Just like in movies, books by Daniel Handler, and all my other fics, this starts out with a small little bit completely irrelevant to the story. Either to introduce a character, or throw in a small amount of dialogue with no meaning. It usually raises a few questions, like what happened, who did it, why coffee cups appear from nowhere and if Henderson’s father was bald also. Most of which are actually never answered but I decided to make one slight change. Instead of leaving and going to the main characters their coming here.
“Freeze!” Enzan stood at the door holding not a gun as would be inappropriate, but a PET.
“Actually I find it rather warm in here.” Henderson walked into the room without even noticing Enzan and handing the coffee to the man.
“You two baldy!” Enzan yelled at Henderson who turned around with his hands up.
“Geez can’t someone spring for a few quality assistants to help me in world conquest?” The man said sarcastically.
“Not on my watch, man behind conveniently placed shroud in ominously dark room!” Netto jumped out from behind Enzan with his PET pointed at the man well.
“You’re under arrest!” Enzan shouted.
“Not today I’m afraid!” The man stood up and threw a smoke bomb on the ground, it exploded and dissipated revealing the man walking towards the back door.
“After him!” Netto shouted. Enzan grabbed him before he ran after the man.
“No wait, if we catch him now the fic will be over and we’ll waste the rest of the screenplay.” Enzan said quickly.
“Oh right, I wonder why no one has stopped reading yet.” Netto said.
“Because they want to know where they got the magical coffee cups from.” Enzan said aggravated at Netto’s severe lack of intelligence.
“You have not seen the last of organized chaos!” henderson shouted as he ran out the door.
“I suppose so, this is the fourteenth time we have caught you this month.” Enzan shouted after him.
“Let’s go grab something to drink over at Starbucks,” Netto said as he walked out the door, “you’re buying”
And so the two of them left the hollowed out volcano in which Organized Chaos was hiding out and went to Starbucks which was right outside the door.
“Boy it’s lucky you guys are right here.” Enzan said to the person at the desk.
“You know the new Starbucks, one every fifty feet.” He said happily.
“I’m, never going five minutes without a Carmel frappucino!” Netto sad in between slurps.
Excuse the constant Starbucks jokes, I can make fun of them because I go there pretty much every day.
“It appears we have to get rid of this Netto and Enzan, they have foiled our plan thirteen-” The man behind yet another shroud started in his deep voice.
“Fourteen.” Henderson interrupted pouring more coffee.
“Shut up, fourteenth time. Henderson I’m sending you to delete their navis!”
“Can’t we just like shoot them, like hire a hitman or something?” Henderson asked, he handed the man the coffee.
“We could but this is a kids show and the show would end faster then the producers killed us.” The man sipped the coffee. “This is excellent what did you put in it?”
“I bought it at the Starbucks over there.” Henderson pointed at the Starbucks in the corner, the man standing there smiled and waved.
“Good thinking Henderson! This sure is good coffee, the one coffee-”
“TO RULE THEM ALL!”
“Oh shut up Sauron!”
“Yes sir.”
END
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what did you think was it gooooooooooood? Did it suuuuuuuuuuuuck? Were the Starbucks jokes ooooooooooooooverboard? |
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Mugen.exe The Original Amish Technogeek!
Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 911 Location: Behind you, readying a Poison Jab.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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O Where did the cups come from?! Lol. Very odd, but good. Yes, the constant Starbucks jokes were a bit overboard, if not [spoil:dac69df0a5]hilarious[/spoil:dac69df0a5]! But aside from constant coffee jokes it was allright. Could of used more Wal-Mart jokes if you ask me. _________________
False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 2:21 am Post subject: |
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I'll lay off the coffee then, I'll stick to wal mart and toys r us. You just gave me an idea, thanks Mugen! |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2006 3:04 am Post subject: |
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new chapter, more wal mart jokes only like two coffee jokes. Enjoy!
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Chapter 2: A slight advance in the plot
“Has anyone seen my pencil sharpener?” Netto had a strange habit of yelling things as he got out of bed. The same habit was eventually passed down to his children and somehow became an epidemic which killed millions, but that was a different story.
Netto jumped out of bed and began searching the pockets of his trousers only to find a piece of lint, some melted chocolate and an unwanted Sears giftcard.
“NETTO!” Rockman yelled from the PET on his table. “You lent it to the leprechaun who took your lunch money remember?”
“Oh yeah, now I remember.” Netto stopped his search and instead picked up a pen and walked over to a calander and checked a box. “Three more days till my four sixteenth birthday!”
“Netto why must you act like everyday is a holiday?” Rockman said rhetorically.
“I don’t act like everyday is a holiday, I only claim they’re holidays so I can stop using up sick days.” Netto began dressing himself in the same attire he wore everyday.
He waltzed out the door and onto the rest of the day, then he realized where he was walking so he stuck to the sidewalk to avoid lawsuit.
“Netto, you have a phone call.” Rockman said zealously. He and Netto were standing in Wal-Mart looking at Tea cozies for his cousin Harry’s friend.
“Ahem.” Netto crossed his arms and gave Rockman an encouraging look.
“Bring, bring.” Rockman said unenthusiastically.
“That’s better.” Netto said. Rockman rolled his eyes and opened a video link to the caller who happened to be Enzan.
“Hey Netto…” Enzan said quickly.
“Uh, yeah Enzan?” Netto replied confusedly.
“Wazzzuuuuuuuuupp?”
“Save it for a Budweiser commercial.”
“Very well, Netto we have gotten reports of the criminal organization Organized Chaos taking another headquarters somewhere in akihara city!” Enzan said in a manner which resembled Q from the James Bond movies.
“Really? Have we narrowed it down?”
“Yes, we believe their hiding out in the furniture department in Wal-Mart! We need you to get there and plug-in the couchcomp and delete whatever navi is doing nothing of real signifigance and will just utter some crappy threat and plug out quickly.”
“I’m at Wal-Mart now where is the furnature?”
“Beside the roast ham and the flustered cows!”
“Heading out, fare thee well Enzan.”
“Goodbye and good luck Netto.”
A few minutes past.
“Hang up.”
“No you hang up.”
“Oh shut up” Enzan hung up leaving Netto standing in Wal-Mart holding a tea cozy. He began running up the store going through department after department.
“Webcams, soft drinks, Starbucks, lamps, Macdonald’s, milk, mojos, movie sets, jokes, ooh Kupo’s life fifty percent off!”
“Oh just get to the furniture!” Rockman shouted angrily, it was times like these that made him want to suggest marriage counseling. “Who buys that crap anyway?”
Netto resumed his running down the hall until he spotted cows and roast hams.
“Ok, here we are, now where is the couchcomp?” Netto said to himself.
“Right here!” A familiar voice called from the rafters.
“Henderson!” Netto said in a mock Batman impression.
“That’s right.” Henderson pulled out a very large bazooka and aimed it at the couch, ironically it was pink and covered in pictures of cats drinking coffee. He fired a pink lazer out of it into the plug in port which even though it’s there the designers were too lazy to show that it’s there so you have to go up to it and press the A button. Netto turned to the camera and said.
“A pink coffee cat bazooka PET and Sonic the hedgehogs ability to make things magically disappear and reappear, what don’t they sell here?”
“Toilet paper.” An old woman said on passing.
“Alright, lets say that aggravating long sentence that we usually say when plugging in that is completely pointless and wastes enough time for us to be stopped but they don’t cause it would ruin the series.” Netto said enthusiastically.
“Too bad I have already caused this store the minor inconvenience you intended to stop!” Henderson said happily.
“Crap, I wasted too much time.” Netto said as he began moping his way out of the store. He went home to take a long shower and rethink his life.
“Um hello?” Henderson yelled. “Can someone help me get down from here?”
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what do you think, better worse, wal mart jokes a little old, more serious needed more insanity what? |
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Mugen.exe The Original Amish Technogeek!
Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 911 Location: Behind you, readying a Poison Jab.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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Glad I could be of help. Good chapter, and keep up the good work. Maybe add some Reality TV jokes? Or some jokes about children's television that is supposed to be interactive (Like that [spoil:bc4a95a3fb]Dora The Explorer [/spoil:bc4a95a3fb]{Show creeps me out [maybe have Netto end up in the middle of the taping of a show like [spoil:bc4a95a3fb]Blue's Clues[/spoil:bc4a95a3fb]?]} that would be odd)! _________________
False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:05 am Post subject: |
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I'll do that, but I only wish I had read this before I finished the chapter, next one then. OFF I GO!
Abracanewchapter!
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Chapter 3: Some Asshat interrupts the twiddling of thumbs
I apologize to anyone who was offended by the title of this chapter, the word “asshat” was not used as an insult to someone it is the name of a character in this next chapter. If your still unclear, sit down, shut up and read the next chapter. I apologize to anyone who was offended by that too.
“Henderson, it appears you have done something right for once.” Said the man behind the conveniently placed shroud drinking coffee in an ominously dark room. They had placed themselves in a giant replica of the bridge of an Intrepid class starship. Where they got the money and who built God only knows.
“I’d never thought I’d see the day.” Henderson said in a complete state of blank euphoria.
“I know, I’d never thought I’d ever compliment you.”
“Actually I was referring to this thing I bought at Wal Mart, Kupo’s life, now I can make crappy graphics and write pathetic fanfics between squeezing in four hours a day on my very own crappy message board with less then 20 members!”
“I’m sorry to say that you have been replaced.”
“What?” Henderson asked rhetorically.
“YOU HAVE BEEN REPLACED!” The man yelled even louder.
“By who?” Henderson was stupefied by this last remark.
“Whom.” The man corrected.
“Me!” Another man in a purple cape and tights waltzed into the room, by comparison he was even shorter then Henderson. He looked like a crappy super hero with his mask and boots.
“And, who are you?” Henderson asked.
“Some Asshat!” The man presented.
“Well I can see that but who is he?”
“No, that’s his name Some Asshat!”
“Huh?”
“First name Some, last name Asshat!”
“Well who hired him?” Hederson looked around.
“I did!” Another man looked up from a terminal across the room. “He’s my cousin!”
“Geez how many Asshats do we have in this place?”
Everyone in the room stood up.
“I’m surrounded by Asshats!” Henderson yelled.
“That’s nice, now get out!” The man behind the shroud yelled and pointed his finger out the door.”
“Yes sir.” Henderson walked out the door. “Oh and by the way, I spit in your coffee!”
The man stared at his hundreds of coffee cups.
“Which one?”
Enzan and Netto were an unlikely duo for many reasons, too numerous to mention. But one thing that separated the two was stomach capacity, the shear amount of pies Netto could eat was so great he resorted to Bulimia years before the taping of the show. Yet no one really cared because he ate so much it is hard to barf it up all at once. The good thing is the plot device allows the pie eating contest booth at the carnival they were at never to run out of pies.
“I challenge you to an eating to contest to prove that there is something I can do better then you without breaking into an elaborate dance routine!” Netto said valiantly, his spoon held into Enzan’s face.
“I decline on the grounds that there is no way I am better then you at everything and secondly I’m on a diet.” Enzan said quickly and clearly as his custom, but Netto still found it very challenging and intimidating as any young boy with low intelligence such as his could.
“Then what are we going to do until the annoying evil guy comes along proclaiming his unholy power to destroy us and then will lose because of his severe lack of every chip in the universe.” Netto complained.
“Sing and twiddle our thumbs?”
“Absolutely!” Netto shouted excitedly. He then sat down and began singing “The Rainbow Connection” whilst twiddling his thumbs. Enzan shrugged and joined him.
“At last I have come to destroy your net navi Netto Hikari!” Some Asshat yelled from on top of a cotton candy stand.
“And who are you?” Enzan yelled from where he sat twiddling his thumbs.
“Some Asshat!” Netto shouted.
“I can see that but who is he?”
“Some Asshat!”
“I know that much!”
“No, that’s his name, first name Some, last name Asshat! Comprende?”
“All I ‘comprende’ is you losing to me in a net battle!” Some Asshat yelled down.
“Bring it on!” Enzan yelled completely out of character, but it’s all right cause it’s a fanfic and in no way does my killing everyone’s personality affect anyone. Other then the rabid fangirls that are hunting me down.
“Plug-in Rockman.EXE Transmission!” Netto yelled as he plugged in.
“Plug in Blues.EXE Transmission!” Enzan yelled as he plugged in.
Finally I did something in character, now tune in next time because I’m about to be mauled by a haurd of rabid fangirls. This is Kupo.EXE signing off.
END
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the idea is kinda overused but the asshat joke think it fits. |
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Elizabeth Net Agent
Age: 38 Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 221 Location: Wherever I happen to be right now
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Hah! Spaceballs reference 4 teh win!!!!
The chapter seemed a bit short, though. |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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sorry bout that I was rushed, and thanks God someone caught that! |
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Mugen.exe The Original Amish Technogeek!
Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 911 Location: Behind you, readying a Poison Jab.
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Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 11:16 pm Post subject: |
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Great chapter! Also, I don't think that the "Bring it on!" was OOC for Enzan. In the first game he was pretty battle-crazed, and Blues even roared before a battle. Going by EXE 1 standards Enzan is actually acting relatively ADD free! Bring on the pie eating phight! _________________
False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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sorry dudes, but chapter 4 will be delayed due to my having to spend alot of time with my friend who is clueless on how to make invisionfree forums and he just tried to make one. Now I'm stuck helping him. |
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