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RollSoul
Net Savior
Joined: 11 May 2005
Posts: 168
Location: Under your bed. O.o
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 Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:26 pm Post subject: *Fic Canceled*(admins do w/e u want with this topic.) |
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EDIT: I decided To re-write this...
I went over alot of things in my head and decided to change the plot line...
and alot of other things...
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NOTICE: This user no longer uses this account, they made a new account cuz they dont like the name of their account anymore =3
Last edited by RollSoul on Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:27 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Midnight
This is a Hilbert Space
Age: 37
Joined: 18 Mar 2005
Posts: 3089
Location: The AfterMath. Otherwise, New York City.
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| Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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Meh....
It seemed really short. And quite rushed. You had the character's personae FAR too underdeveloped in this story--it seemed to be straight to the action. While that's not necessarily bad, the combat seemed to be thin and just as rushed.
I'd suggest overhauling the next chapter, and working on the description for the characters, combat, and events. That's the most pressing issue limiting this fic's progress at this point.
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Malik
Local Prinny Deity
Age: 34
Joined: 14 Mar 2005
Posts: 1179
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| Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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Where's the fic? >_>
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