Megaman.EXE :Grand Chaos *Stream Spoilers*

 
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pyro




Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Somewhere

PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:04 am    Post subject: Megaman.EXE :Grand Chaos *Stream Spoilers* Reply with quote

I decided to make a fic about my navi so here it is:
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Genre: AA
Symbols: OC, OOC
Rating: PG,Pg-13


Intro: It has been 172 years since Duo left Earth and passed judgment on the planet. Now a young boy has to live up to his family name and save the world like his great-great-grandfathers have so many times before. That boy’s name is Nick Hikari.
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Chapter 1: A new beginning


“Nick wake up !” Screamed Blazeman, Nicks Netnavi.

“Ugh, just five more minutes.” Moaned Nick who was still half asleep.

“You have to get up NOW or you’ll be late for the netbattle tournament sign-ups !” Blazeman yelled with even more enthusiasm this time.

“Oh no the sign-ups ! I need to hur… *clunk*” Nick was cut short as he fell off the bed.

“Ouch.” Nick whined when he got on his feet.

“Try being a little more careful next time, okay Nick.” Blazeman said from somewhere Nick couldn’t see.

“Okay I will. Hey where are you ?” Nick said and asked.

“I think you’re cat put the PET under the bed … again.” Blazeman said in an annoyed tone.

Nick checked under the bed and sure enough the PET was under there, along with a little surprise from the cat.Nick grabbed the PET and looked at Blazeman, this reminded him of when he first got him Nick always thought that he was so cool.He was a pretty basic netnavi, he had orange armor, hands, feet, and his helmet was also orange, he had gray guantlets and shin guards with gray holes in them which fire came out of. After a few seconds Nick remembered the tournament.

Nick decided to wear one of his signature outfits: A black T-shirt with sleeves that go to his elbows, an orange vest, and black shorts with vertical orange stripes on the sides, Blazeman's symbol was on Nick's belt buckle. The outfit was sort of like his great-great grandfather Lan's outfit from when he was a kid, the main difference was that Nick didn't like to wear headbands because he thought that they ruined his "awesome" spiky brown hair.

After Nick got dressed he practically flew out the front door and started running towards the tournament building.

When they finally got there Nick saw a man typing something on a computer and he went to talk to the man.

“Hello sir, do you know where I sign up for the Dentech city-wide netbattle tournament ?” Asked Nick politely.

“I’m sorry kid but we just stopped accepting entries for the tournament a few minutes ago.” The man said with an angry tone.

“WHAT ! You mean to tell me I woke up thirty minutes early for nothing ?!” Nick yelled very angrily.

“Like I said kid sorry.” said the man

“It’s okay, never mind.” Nick said in a very sad and quite voice.

Nick was about to exit the building but then he heard a woman screaming. He turned around and saw that many of the computers were crackling with electricity and then a few of them exploded !

“Nick we have to do something !” Cried Blazeman over the noise.

“I’m on it! Jack-in Blazeman execute !

Blazeman was in the net now and he saw infected programs and dead security navis practically everywhere. After he walked around a little while he saw that someone was messing with the entry database.

“Hey get away from there !” Yelled Blazeman.

The navi appeared to have a dark aura around him and only his silhouette was visible.The shape of his silhouette seemed somehow familiar to Nick.

“Do not interfere with the master’s plans.” Said the navi in an emotionless tone.

His voice also seemed familiar to Nick somehow.

“I said step away from the database !” yelled Blazeman in a furious-sounding voice.

“If you insist on interfering then I have no choice but to delete you.” Said the dark netnavi

“Bring it on.” said Nick and Blazeman simultaneously .

The dark navi stepped closer to Blazeman and then the color of his aura dimmed a little.Now the he was clearly visible, he was a navi that was long since thought deleted , that netnavi was Protoman.
___________________________________________________________________________________

This is my first Megaman/Rockman fic and I hope somebody likes it ! Tell me what you think about it,like,hate,ETC.[url][/url]


Last edited by pyro on Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:19 pm; edited 5 times in total
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Mugen.exe
The Original Amish Technogeek!



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Posts: 911
Location: Behind you, readying a Poison Jab.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This first chapter was a little short, but it was good. I'd suggest going into more detail about locations, character designs, and dialogue. Usually chapters take up about 2-3 pages in Microsoft Word. If you make the chapters a bit longer this fic will improve. Good luck with your fic, and welcome to REO!
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Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP
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Frost.EXE




Joined: 19 Jan 2006
Posts: 23
Location: Electopia, of course.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The story seems to be lacking in details. it's also a bit short... ^^;
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pyro




Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Somewhere

PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thankls for the replies ! ^_^ I made this one longer and tried to make it better.

_________________________________________________________
Chapter 2: Mysterious Savior


It was impossible. That navi couldn’t be Protoman, he had been deleted nearly eighty years ago. Everyone in Nick’s school has learned that Protoman, Megaman, and Bass were all simultaneously deleted during a huge netbattle, and besides, Protoman wasn’t designed to be a solo netnavi. The real Protoman would never cause so much damage or mess with the tournament database.

Nick was shocked. He was shaking and his eyes had widened. Nick began to mutter something. ”P-P-Protoman ?” He came to his senses and began asking questions. “ How did you came back ? Why are you acting like this ?”

Blazeman was a lot more calm than Nick was. “Nick this is probably just some imposter playing a sick joke, let’s delete him !”

The navi walked even closer to Blazeman and then a Longsword replaced his right hand. He began to speak. “Prepare for your imminent deletion.”

“How can you use a battlechip like that ?” Nick questioned.

The navi sighed and answered. “ The master has given me data for all of the battlechips I need so that I don’t have to be a slave to you human scum.”

Blazeman was suddenly very mad. “ Humans aren’t scum ! They’re friends !” Blazeman leaped towards the netnavi. “Default weapon; Pyrosword activate !” A bright-orange sword replaced his hand and he slashed at the dark navi.

The netnavi just retaliated with his own sword. “If you desire a battle then I shall be your opponent !” He jumped into the air and came down to strike Blazeman.

Nick got a determined look on his face and then he slotted in a battlechip. “Areasteal download !”

Blazeman teleported just in time and then appeared behind the netnavi and struck a powerful blow to his backside. “Ah take that !” Yelled Blazeman triumphantly.

Nick smiled and praised his netnavi. “Good job Blazeman !”


The evil netnavi got plowed into the ground by the force of the attack but he got back on his feet now. He looked very angry and then he muttered something under his breath, he looked around and saw Blazeman so he jolted towards him. “ Activate, Longblade !”

Nick reacted quickly and slotted in a defense battlechip. “Barrier download !”

Blazeman remained in the same spot while a blue sphere covered him completely. “Thanks Nick !” He shouted.

The dark navi attacked but the sword didn’t do anything because of the barrier. The barrier dissipated after the sword bounced off of it. The netnavi was very angry. “I will delete you !”

Nick was very proud to think of using the barrier chip, it was a battlechip that he rarely ever used. “Okay Blazeman let’s do some attacking !” He slotted in a battlechip. “Meteor download!”

A hail of ten meteors fell from the sky and four of them hit the evil navi. He received a lot of damage from them but somehow he was still able to stand up and he didn’t act like anything had happened to him.

The dark navi laughed. “Did you think a pitiful attack like that would actually hurt me ? You two are going to have to do a lot better than that to defeat the powers of chaos that the master has bestowed upon me !” He laughed even harder now. “Activate, Slasher !”

Nick checked his chip case but he didn’t have any defense chips left with him, he regretted not fully packing his chip case today. “ Blazeman just try to dodge his attack !”

“Okay I’ll see what I can do !” Blazeman responded.

The netnavi used his Slasher chip. He was a great distance away from Blazeman and he slashed his sword without going closer to him. Energy flew out of the blade and flew towards Blazeman !

He tried to dodge but Blazeman couldn’t escape fast enough so the attack sliced right into his left arm ! He collapsed.

Nick looked frightened for a second but then he slotted a battlechip into his PET. “Recovery download !”

Blazeman stood back up and felt re-energized. “Hey you, Imposter navi ! Let’s decide this right now, we’ll use the most powerful attacks that we have and see who comes out on top.”

The navi agreed. “Fine then a final blow to decide the victor. Activate, Cybersword, Wideblade, Longblade , Program Advanced. Lifesword.

Nick found the most powerful chips that he had with him and slotted them in. “ Fireplus, Salamander download !”

An orange aura covered Blazeman’s entire body and then a gigantic fiery dragon appeared over him. The dragon flew towards the evil netnavi.

The navi was about to slash with his Lifesword but the Salamander dragon charged right into him.

There was a colossal explosion as the Salamander collided with the Lifesword. For a few moments Nick’s entire PET screen just remained the color orange and there was some movement and there were crackling noises. As everything cleared up both navis came into clear sight again.

Blazeman’s helmet had many cracks in it and his left arm was gone, his entire left side had the data torn apart and blazeman had a few cracks on his emblem.

The evil navi had all four of his limbs missing, there was torn data everywhere on his body and he had a few cracks in various parts of his body.

Nick was really excited that they had almost beaten the evil netnavi. “Blazeman we almost got him.”

“Yeah Nick just one more attack.” Blazeman responded

A purple ball of fire appeared in front of the evil protoman and dissolved in to the emblem on his chest. Suddenly, all of his limbs regenerated and he stood back up. He stared coldly at Blazeman. “I have been rejuvenated by the power of chaos ! Activate, Dark Muramasa !” A purple samurai sword appeared in his hands. “ Now I will attack you with the combined force of the damage that you dealt to me !” He began to run towards Blazeman.

A cloaked navi appeared in front of the evil Protoman and stabbed a sword through his emblem. The cloaked netnavi disappeared and the evil Protoman was automatically logged out.

“Nick, what just happened ?” asked the weakened Blazeman.

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.” Nick responded.

There was a data crystal next to the mainframe, Blazeman examined it.

Nick wondered what it could be. “What is it ?”

Blazeman looked like he was reading it. He responded. “It’s a note. It says: “The chaos data was too much for many of the test navis but one navi was able to handle it. That navi was the “Demon Netnavi”, the culmination of the two heroes and the black shadow. The Demon Netnavi’s name is Axl.” .”

Blazeman saved the data file and then Nick logged him out.

Nick was going to leave but then a man came up to him. He was a very tall man who was kind of old and he had a big gray mustache. Nick recognized him as the chief of police. “You’re a hero !” Exclaimed the chief.

“Well I didn’t really del…” Nick was cut short by the chief

“Is there any type of reward we can give you for this ?” Asked the police chief.

Nick thought for a moment and then came up with an answer. “I would like to enter the netbattle tournament .”

It was decided, Nick and Blazeman were in the tournament.

_____________________________________________________________
Chapter 3 preview: Nick’s uncle had a solemn look on his face. “I’m sorry Nick.” He almost looked like he was going to cry. “Blazeman must be deleted before the bug spreads.”
____________________________________________________________

Post what you think about this fic and whatever you have to say about it.
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pyro




Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Somewhere

PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry for not being able to post about the fic for a couple days. I might have chapter three up by tomorrow night. But if nobody responds any more than I might wait longer.
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My fanfic: Grand Chaos
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Viewtiful Starman
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad... Blazeman and Nick aren't that interesting so far IMO, and as someone else said it needs a bit more detail, but I'm enjoying your writing otherwise, and the plot is interesting.
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