Rockman.EXE: Reboot! --Chapter 8-- (Beast Spoilers)

[NotJim]

Well, I think you've decided to change your mind after all, Vanilla.

Anyhow, it seems like giving this fic some time to develop has certainly improved it - great job. Can't really say much more.
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[Vanilla_Go_Rilla]

Midnight, I don't really know what I have planned for Kristen yet, I've just recently changed her last name from Adams to LeMontcleur and made her French instead of Californian. :3 If it's like anything else I've written I'll simply fly by the seat of my pants and improvise as the fic moves along. :]

Thanks NotJim, yeah, he's going to be a good guy after all...and he actually makes an appearance in this next chapter too. He'll be a supporting character in the fic, and I plan to give him more later, so don't worry he'll see a good amount of screen time.

...Next chapter. NotJim gave me a character idea to work with, namely a guy that needed a name, so I named him Shingo Takeda, a detective who is also a famous reality show host. Think COPS. His Navi is Hyper Man, I'd say more but I don't want any more spoilers. :B

...So.

Kaita grinned as he scurried down the hall of Densan City Central Airport, Netto’s ticket grasped firmly in his hand. His grin, however, was very seemingly unlike a villain’s. He seemed rather elated…almost as if he was immersed in total bliss. His Navi, Turbo Man, was unsure what to think as he rubbed the back of his head obliviously.

And all the while, Dr. Regal watched Kaita skipping happily along on a computer monitor as he rubbed his forehead. Santoro had already finished his work, and Azuma had finished doing whatever it was he did.

“Dude?” Azuma murmured as Regal looked at Kaita with deep frustration. “The heck’s going on with ya?”

“LOOK AT THIS!” Regal shouted. “I can’t even tell if this guy is a hero or a villain. I mean, he just took that dumb Netto kid’s ticket…but look at the way he’s walking!”

“Are you going senile or something?” Azuma replied quizzically. “That just made NO sense, dude.”

“I’m saying that it’s completely wrong!” Regal shouted. “Look at that goofy smile of his, that weird skipping he’s doing…it’s all completely UNDIGNIFIED and WRONG for a villain! I mean, how would it look if I, the main villain, did that?”

“Regal,” Santoro said cautiously, “I strongly suggest you refrain from giving the author any ideas.”

“Anyway, what are we going to do about it?” Azuma shrugged. “I mean, our plans call for that kid to go to Amerope to get the secret thing to learn to use the thing so we can take the thing. And on top of that, we still have our spy thing in the Densan Airport doing the thing we asked him to do by tracking Netto and his things.”

“Stop saying so many THINGS!” Regal shouted. He rolled his eyes and turned slowly back to the screen. But at that point, he heard a crowd of people running and screaming fanatically.

“What’s that?” Santoro said as he looked around the room.

“It’s coming from the monitor!” Azuma shouted. “Wait a minute…that’s HIM, isn’t it?!”

“Yeah!” Regal shouted. “My favorite TV show host! That is…”

Chapter 8: Too Fast for Television! The Famous Shingo and Hyper Man

“WHERE IS HE?!” Netto shouted murderously as he rollerskated through the airport, fire burning furiously in his eyes. At this point, Netto’s face looked so uncontrollably angry and ridiculous that Rockman wanted to laugh, but had to keep clearing his throat to hide it.

“It’s really your own fault for not being careful, Netto…” Rockman muttered.

“Now’s not the time, Rockman!” Netto shouted. “I’ve got a plane to catch…and a kid to kill!”

Rockman sighed and rolled his eyes. “Very well, Netto…wait a minute!”

“…What is it now?!”

“I’m getting a signal coming from inside the men’s restroom!” Rockman replied as he materialized a glowing holo-screen displaying a multitude of blips and bloops no one but he could understand. “It’s a direct match to the one I first detected when that Kaita kid first picked up! Go straight down this hallway, then make a right and go down the corridor…it’s the third door to your left!”

“YES!” Netto screamed. “SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE!!”

And so Netto rushed into the third door to his left…only things didn’t turn out quite as expected. After a multitude of screams and beatings, Netto left the door looking as though he had just been stampeded by a thousand angry bulls. Looking at the door, he suddenly glared at Rockman, for on it was written a very unfortunate message: “WOMEN’S RESTROOM.”

“Dammit Rockman, what’s the big idea?” Netto cried.

“Sorry Netto…” Rockman murmured apologetically. “Uh, I guess I don’t function that well under pressure.”

“I guess I’m rubbing off on you, huh?” Netto sighed.

At that moment, a cheering crowd and the loud enthusiastic voice of what sounded like a talk show host could be heard approaching around the corner. Spearheading the crowd was a small crew of reporters armed with state-of-the-art camera equipment, filming a rather important-looking guy.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” a tall man with a ponytail and dread locks dressed in a disco outfit shouted. “I, Detective Shingo Takeda, vow to get to the bottom of this mystery…and find out exactly who stuck that gum under this man’s desk!”

“Do you know how long I spent cleaning that up?!” the man cried, his hand rubbing angrily and harshly against the chromed shine of his bald scalp. “FIVE MINUTES!”

“Five minutes you may never get back, sir!” Shingo replied, nodding his head angrily. Secretly, of course, he was thinking that five minutes paled in comparison to the years this man was taking off his life with the stress that had led to his aforementioned baldness.

“Look!” the man cried, pointing at Netto. “The criminal…is HIM! HE’S the punk who stuck the gum under my desk!”

“Wha?!” Netto shouted, taken aback. This must have been one of those old geezers who had nothing else to do but hate young kids.

“We are terribly sorry, but we have no idea what you’re talking about, sir,” Rockman replied with a courteous bow. “Do you know who the perpetrator looks like before you even begin to accuse anyone of anything?”

“How the hell should I know!” the geezer shouted. “You kids and your deceptive looks…why do you all have to look alike these days?!”

Shingo shone a bright light in Netto’s eye as he asked calmly yet strictly, “Young man…what were you doing on the afternoon of…well…today?”

“I was looking for my stolen airline ticket!” Netto shouted. “Look, have you guys seen a brat named Kaita anywhere?”

“Come to think of it,” Shingo muttered, scratching his chin, “there was a man running out of this geezer’s office! He had on a yellow mechanic’s suit and a white bandanna…and his mouth was full of drool, as though he had just spit out gum or something.”

“THAT…IS HIM!” Netto and the old man screamed in anger.

“What is going on here?” Malice asked impatiently as she rounded the corner with Enzan and Meiru, all understandably tired from having chased around a rather pissed Netto.

“Ah, so more companions arrive!” Shingo shouted. “Very well, let us solve this mystery together…with the great Shingo Takeda!”

“Who?” Enzan and Meiru muttered as they exchanged glances. They then looked over at Malice, whose eyes were glittering and whose arms were clenched up to her chin in the most fangirly manner possible.

“The heck is that glitter coming from?” Enzan muttered.

“Beats me,” Meiru shrugged.

“A-are you…” Malice squealed with a shrill fangirly voice as blushy marks appeared on her cheeks.

“Ace Detective and Reality Show Celebrity Shingo Takeda of the Densan City Police, at your service!” Shingo replied with a formal military salute.

“You’re, like, my idol and crap!” Malice squealed. “What mystery are you gonna solve today, huh? Huh?!”

Enzan and Meiru couldn’t help but snicker, whereas Netto was still burning with rage over the loss of his ticket.

“You can help me!” Shingo replied. “You’re a little late; we already solved the mystery of who stole THIS young man’s airline ticket…and stuck gum under THIS geezer’s desk!”

“He’s calling me a geezer…even when I’m standing right here…” the GEEZER muttered angrily.

“Hey, what’s everybody doin’?” an oddly familiar voice asked excitedly from behind everyone.

“Well, we’re trying to…” Netto murmured, then stopped as he turned around to face…HIM.

“We were just about to…” the geezer replied as he turned around…and then stopped in his tracks as his eyes burned with murderous rage.

For standing before them…was Kaita the Brat.

“Yellow mechanic’s suit…white bandanna…not to mention the same PET I saw the perpetrator carrying earlier!” Shingo said as he scratched his chin. “Surely now we have the culprit!”

“I’m gonna kill you!” Netto shrieked. “Rockman.exe…PLUG IN!!”

“Ooh, a Net Battle!” Kaita squealed. “Plug in! Turbo Man.exe!”

Rockman stood before Turbo Man, who greeted them him with several wheelies, then held up two outstretched peace signs.

“Yo!” Turbo Man shouted excitedly. “The name’s Turbo Man, and I am Kaita’s Net Navi! I’ve arranged a special Challenge Round for you!”

“Challenge Round?” Rockman replied with a quizzical tilt of his head.

“Exactly!” Turbo Man shouted. “You’ll get your ticket back…if you race against ME! From this point…to that point right there!”

With that, he pointed to a spot in the far-off distance at least one mile away.

“THAT’S not going to be a problem!” Shingo cackled. “After all…I am the commander of a very certain Net Navi…one who, by fortunate coincidence, is perfectly suited for this battle!”

“Then do it quick, dammit!” Netto shrieked. “I have a freakin’ PLANE TO CATCH after I kill this brat!”

“You’re beginning to sound oddly like a villain!” the geezer shouted. “Perhaps YOU stole this boy’s clothes and then stuck that gum under my desk!”

“Oh, please,” Netto and Shingo muttered in unison.

“Jack-in!” Shingo shouted. “HYPER MAN! EXECUTE!”

In the blink of an eye, a navi approximately Rockman’s size in orange-red armor suddenly materialized next to Rockman and greeted him with a rapid wave of his hand, so fast that all he saw was a red blur.

“You…you’re…” Rockman stammered.

“Oh? So you’ve met up with each other before?” Shingo asked as he raised an eyebrow. Unfortunately, Rockman was about to prove otherwise:

“…YOU’RE HEAT GUTS STYLE ROCKMAN!!”

Everyone fell over with an anime-style thud.

“I’m Hyper Man!” he shouted in a voice sounding very familiar to Rockman. “I’m the one who’s going to win your plane tickets back!”

“And how do you propose we do that?” Rockman asked in a puzzled manner.

“Simple! Leave it to me!” Hyper Man shouted.

“Uhmm, no,” Turbo Man muttered. “My operator made a set of conditions being that if another Net Battler will assist Netto, his or her Navi must also fight with that person’s Navi!”

“In other words,” Kaita said with a stupid Mite Gai-style grin, sparkling teeth and all, “the assistant has to carry a member of Rockman’s team!”

“No problem!” Hyper Man replied. Picking up Trill, who just so conveniently happened to be standing next to Rockman, he continued, “This is okay, right?”

“I shoulda been more specific,” Turbo Man replied as he rubbed the back of his head. “The assistant has to carry Rockman himself for the duration of the race.”

“I don’t understand your conditions, but okay!” Hyper Man continued as he put down Trill and picked up Rockman. As Trill was let down, he shouted to Rockman: “Hey! I got a hug from Heat Guts Rockman!”

The thud repeated itself.

“Very well…that was stupid…” Turbo Man muttered. “Let’s get this over with already…my operator wants to go home after this and eat chips.”

“He won’t even be ALIVE to eat chips!” Netto shouted, his angry face looking like the devil itself. “START!”

“Wait!” Shingo interrupted. “Before we start, there’s something I have to do!”

“The bathroom’s right there, Shingo,” Enzan said monotonously. “Hurry up and do your business, we have a plane to catch.”

“Not that, and besides, I just took a dump ten minutes ago!” Shingo replied shamelessly. “I have to activate Hyper Man’s Battle Mode!”

With this, he slotted in a chip encased in a very shiny and expensive-looking silver coat, and Hyper Man suddenly began to glow orange, his eyes turning yellow and his face twisting into an expression resembling a ten-year-old’s sugar high.

“A-are you alright?” Rockman asked nervously as he assumed the piggy-back position.

“AmIalright?!” Hyper Man replied in a voice sounding like a fast-forwarded version of Rockman. “I’mgonnawinyourplaneticketsback! OfcourseI’malrightsojustsitbackandrelax!”

“You know, Hyper Man’s Battle Mode talking is really going to make it difficult for the REO forum people to read!” Meiru said, somewhat surprised. “At this rate, one of the mods will certainly scold us…again!”

“It can’t be worse than when N2O Night tried typing backwards in his fan-art thread!” Enzan replied, anxiously awaiting the race.

“Ready…get set…GO!” Turbo Man shouted, just before racing off in a fury of smoke that left Rockman coughing. Hyper Man, however, simply stood there.

“Umm, where’s the ignition on this guy?” Rockman asked frantically. “Or if he doesn’t HAVE to be started, why the squick are we just STANDING HERE?!”

“Relax,” Shingo replied with an inappropriately relaxed demeanor. “At this rate, Turbo Man won’t even get halfway through before Hyper Man reaches the finish line!”

“He’s already at the halfway point!” Netto shrieked.

“WHERE IS TEH IGNITION?!” Rockman screamed.

Shingo sighed as he told Hyper Man: “Very well…finish this quickly.”

“RightawayShingo!” Hyper Man squeaked as he suddenly assumed a pre-sprinting position. Rockman tightened his piggyback hold, gripping tightly to him for dear life. As he fully assumed the track-and-field starting pose, Hyper Man shouted…

“…SPEED BREAK!”

“Wahahaha!” Turbo Man yelled as he reached the three-quarter range. “At this rate, I’m going to win!”

At that point, a blinding flash of orange and blue suddenly flashed by him, accompanied by an extremely girly scream that had most obviously come from Rockman.

“WTF?!” Turbo Man yelled. “ROFLMAOBBQ?!”

“We are doing well!” Netto shouted passionately. “I never knew your Navi had THIS kind of technique! This is the ultimate partnership! We’re going to win…and this time I didn’t even have to DO anything!”

“You make a very great partner!” Shingo cackled.

“Curses!” Turbo Man shouted. “Kaita! NOW!”

“Battle Chip, Slot In! TWIN TURBO!”

“Twin Turbo Turbo Man?!” Enzan muttered. “Isn’t that kind of redundant?”

“A convenient plot device nonetheless,” Malice shrugged, only because she had not yet said anything for the duration of the race. Indeed, it was difficult having so many characters with so many things to say being written simultaneously into one scene.

Turbo Man’s back grew a strange jet-engine-like apparatus that then began to howl like…well…a REAL jet engine. Turbo Man’s speed suddenly increased ten fold as he quickly caught up to Hyper Man.

“He’s catching up again!” Rockman shouted. “Is this really as fast as the Speed Break technique can go?!”

“Of course not!” Shingo laughed. “This is only 10% of the Speed Break technique’s potential! Of course, if Hyper Man were going at FULL speed…it would cause a rupture in the time-space continuum!”

Netto shuddered.

“All right then Hyper Man, bring it up to 30%!”

“Turbo Man!” Kaita shouted. “50%! No wait…FULL POWER!”

“Very well!” Shingo countered. “Hyper Man…I never thought it would come to this…but now…it’s time for 75%!”

The scenery suddenly became one huge blur and Rockman could feel the flesh rippling on his face as both Navis approached what looked like the finish line at high speed.

“I’m going to win this time, brats!” Turbo Man shouted as he dashed ahead.

“Uhm, no,” Shingo replied. “Hyper Man…it’s time for FULL POWER!”

In less than the blink of an eye, Hyper Man made a mad dash for what seemed to be the finish line, with Turbo Man trailing about ten feet behind. However…something was wrong.

“I admit my loss,” Turbo Man said as he rubbed the back of his head. “But isn’t this the EXACT same point where we first started?”

As Shingo deactivated Hyper Man’s Battle Mode, Hyper Man cackled, “It seems that in our race to get to a spot a mile away, we ran around the entire Internet instead!”

And for the third and hopefully final time, everyone fell over with a thud.

A short while later, the gang waited patiently at the terminal for the boarding to begin. “Boarding call for plane 1337 leaving from gate 1337,” a sexy flight attendant voice echoed over the airport’s intercom system as passengers began entering the skyway into the plane.

“I guess this is goodbye for now,” Malice said as she shrugged.

“Tell us, why in the world did you steal my tickets?” Netto asked. “I mean, my bandanna or underwear would have been just fine, but what did you have in mind exactly?”

“Well, I’ve always looked up to you, Netto,” Kaita said sheepishly. “I’ve always wanted to Net Battle you, and that’s why I stole your tickets and made you come after me!”

“If you wanted to do that,” Enzan shrugged, “you could have easily just asked him. This guy’s a sucker for Net Battles!”

“I’ll remember that for next time,” Kaita replied as he shuffled around.

“Very well, until the next Net Battle!” Netto said as he reached out his hand for a handshake.

“You betcha!” Kaita replied as he gladly accepted. “And next time, I won’t steal your tickets!”

“Thanks!” Netto replied.

“…I’LL STEAL YOUR UNDERWEAR!” Kaita giggled as he ran away. Enzan and Meiru laughed as Netto looked as though he was going to strangle someone again.

Placing his hand on Netto’s shoulder, Shingo said, “Very well, until the next time we meet, eh? You were certainly a fine Net Battler with godly potential, and I look forward to working with you in the future!”

“Same here,” Netto replied, going back to Stupid Mode again. “As you said, we make great partners!”

“Partner? Heh, you are not a partner yet!” Shingo laughed. “You are…MY NUMBER ONE APPRENTICE!”

And to close out the chapter appropriately, Netto looked up to the sky and shrieked madly…

“…I’VE BEEN DEMOTED!!”

To Be Continued… :3
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Better to keep your mouth shut and make people wonder if you are stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

[Midnight]

...fantastic job. Forgive me, I'm still spluttering with laughter...

...I really don't know where to begin. There was nothing that stood out--it was rather more of a continuum of comedy that went through the second half of the chapter...and the race. The race was slightly harder to keep up with, but never wavered from its comedic impact. Good job.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Unknown Neo]

Hey, you started this up again. It's still pretty funny. Nice job VGR.

[Elizabeth]

YES!

At long last, your writing has returned to its proper level of madcap insanity! A wonderful update!

... But whatever happened to the geezer who got his desk gummed by Kaita?