Matches and Maddness!

[Kali The Wolf]

If you want more Kali humor.... READ PANDORA'S BOX!!! I'm gonna be apart of an american version of CLAMP!!!

[Kali The Wolf]

Matches and Maddness!

Chapter seven: The four Bounty Hunters


Sigh... So much writing to do... Wake me up when it's over...

Kishimoto: Sorry for author-sama's laziness tonight... So, to make up for her being lazy, I'm doing the disclaimers! Well, first of all, she doesn't work for Capcom! Second of all, do you think she owns the anime? She doesn't even live in Japan! She can only speak a little bit of Japanese! This story is only made to make people laugh, cry and other things, NOT to sell!

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Hachiko was walking home from school with Kishimoto (who lives close by!). "And that's how I solved all of those math problems on the placement test! No one else good all but one of those problems! Pretty impressive, no?"

"The one you couldn't answer, or anyone by the way, we found out that the answer to the what-comes-next-in-this-sequence was 1.3874757579696963268 using a calculator! I missed five of those ones, but I still passed! It's hard not using calculators to check your work! No wonder you do better than me in math!"

"Well... I suck at science! You beat me there! How well did you do on the Geography test? I got a ninety-eight!" Hachiko said modestly.

"Ninety-six, I missed the two-pointer 'What's the smallest city in Australia?' question! Did you get that one right?"

"It's Coober Petty! I've been there! There's, like, two buildings, twelve people and no grocery stores! I believe that was the one that was supposed to stump the whole class!"

"How about this one: 'Garcia lives in Amerope but has never been out of state or been in a state, where is he?' I couldn't even answer that one!"

"Easy, he lives in Washington DC! It's a DISTRICT, not a state. It is its own territory! I know this because I come from Amerope!" Hachiko and Kishimoto reached her shop/ house. "Bye, Kishimoto-kun! I'll see you later!" Hachiko stepped into the shop. "I'm home!" she said as she took off her shoes at the door.

"Oh good! I'd like you to take the delivery scooter and take this lunch to Higure's Chip Shop!" said Saloma as she handed Hachiko a take-out box. "Now get going!"

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Hachiko rode along on the motor scooter, when she was almost to the shop... She looked at the buttons... "Which one is the brake? No time to think! I'll push a random one!" she pushes a button, she speeds up. "Gah! That's the accelerate!" she pushes another button, she speeds up even more! "Gah! That's the super-accelerate! And that's the last button! I can't stop!! I can't stop this thing! Or global-warming or the recession!! Hachiko falls powerless before the laws of inertia!"

"What the hell? Whoa!"

CRASH!

"Ouch. What the-? What just happened? That was painful!" said Higure as he rubbed his head. He looks over to his side and he sees Hachiko with her head stuck in a box! There's a sign above her that says 'The holy sword Excalibur sleeps here!!'... "Uwaa! Gasp!" Suddenly Saru appears out of nowhere!

"The holy sword Excalibur? Many have tried to draw the blade, but all have failed. Hero Higure... The time is now! Pull the sword from the stone!" said Saru in a surprisingly dramatic voice!

"AHH! Saru!! Pull the what?!" Higure said in shock.

"The future is looking pretty dark." said Hachiko as she walked around with the box stuck on her head. Higure then walked over and took the box off of her head.

"There we go!! You okay?"

"Thank you so much sir!! My vision of humanity had gone dark and cold!! I'm thankful!! But I have to get going! Bye Higure-san!" She rode off.

CRASH!

"OW!! Humanity's future is so dark." said Hachiko from far away.

"What's up with that looks-like-a-scruffy-Saloma girl? And how did she know my name!?" Higure asked unbeknownst that he had a name-tag on. "Why does she look like Saloma? Is she her sister? Cousin? Or... Niece? And wasn't that Miyuki's friend, Saru? He just disappeared! Huh..."

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SPECIAL!!

What you're going to see now is a SPECIAL that has nothing to do with the story-line! It's just here for laughs before we get to the serious stuff! So enjoy!

Hachiko, Kishimoto and Higure are at a Doujinshi convention! "Hey, Hachiko, is there a place to make copies in the convention center?" asked Kishimoto.

"Hmm... Next to the art supplies booth is a copier, but..."

"Then I'll go make copies, you've got the original, right?"

"It's just... The copiers are always ridiculously crowded. There's going to be a big line. We're not the only ones who want to make a self-published comic on the day of the convention, after all."

"So everyone's thinking the same thing, huh?"

"Pretty much!! We're screwed!"

"What? You're saying you want to run copies of your comic right now?" Higure looked up at them.

"Yeah. Our 24-hour book isn't copied yet..." said Hachiko as she looked over at Higure.

"Well, in that case-- It's time for me to get going!! You want to hand your books directly to the fans, my comrades? Leave this to me!" Higure then walked away.

"Higure-san... Who would've known? Even that guy has his cool moments!" said Hachiko as she watched Higure climb on an Otaku...

"To battle-- my crimson white horse!!" He yelled as he pointed straight ahead.

"HEY! What are you doing?!" yelled the Otaku.

"To the new millennium at mach twenty-five!!"

"His crimson white horse?"

Later...

"It's been over an hour... Higure should be back pretty soon." Hachiko said as she and Kishimoto took a sip of their drinks.

"...But I am truly sorry..." Higure said as be kneeled on the table behind a smaller table with a dagger on it. The other two then spat out their drinks. "Despite my triumphant and heroic intentions... I Higure, was unable to carry out my duty!! It's time for me to take my own life in penance, comrade!! I ask for your assistance!" Higure said as he took the knife off the table. Kishimoto got up.

"Hey... Wait a second! Hmm... So there's thirty copies of the first six pages. We still need thirty copies of the last eight... Man, this is tough." Hachiko said as she looked through the comic.

"Hey! You're kinda flying off the handle here!!" said Kishimoto as he tried to stop Higure from stabbing his stomach.

"I'll prepare a place for you in the afterlife!"

"Ahhh!! That's right. Didn't "Hai Ni Naru Fantasy VII" come out last week...? To ashes Fantasy VII? On the first day of the show, there's a concentration of rushed, last minute-comics. It's no wonder the copier's crowded..."

"Did you hear? Those Bleach Doujinshi by Marcella has a limited edition on sale at two!"

"Huh? You serious? But there's gotta be a huge line!"

"I've got it!!" Hachiko's eyes gleamed.

Later....

"Hey Sunshine!! How ya doin'?" Hachiko said to Marcella with her eyes on the copier.

"What do you want, wolf-girl? I'm busy right now!! Shoo shoo!! Go away!!"

"Ooooh! You're making a comic! This copier they've got... It's incredible! It's the latest technology, isn't it?"

"Why, yes. It's the best." Marcella boasted.

"It's got perfect reproduction..."

"Doesn't it?" Marcella boasted again.

"And it talks too?"

THE NUMBER OF PAGES LEFT IS...

"Of course!!" she boasted again...

"It even rolls away on automated wheels!!" the copier did indeed roll away.

"Cool, huh?!" Marcella didn't even notice! Then Hachiko ran after the copier. Marcella FINALLY noticed! "AHHHHHHHH!! Wolf-girl kidnapped my copier!! Hey! Wait! WOLFY!! URRRGH!!"

Later...

"And that's how I plundered this copier!!"

END OF SPECIAL!
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Hinoken stepped out of the hospital. Instantly he was met by Steven. “Who the hell are you?!” Hinoken jumped back.

“I have a deal to make with you! We NEED your help!” Steven adjusted his black hat. “I’m pretty sure that you’d agree to our terms!” Then, Steven took something out of his pocket, it was a ten-thousand yen bill. “Collectors would pay several million zenny for something this rare…”

“Your point?”

“We have several hundred of these… We can give you one-hundred fifty of these… As long as you agree to our terms!”

“Doing this to get me to help you… So it HAS to be dangerous, no?” Hinoken adjusted his stare.

“You’ll be dealing with a dangerous person… So yes! Helping would be in your favor, though…”

“You had me at the “we need you help” part! I live for danger!” Hinoken smiled a grin so frightening he himself was scared.

“Let’s go over the deal in our van…”

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“Our criminal is Momoko Iroaya, prostitute, robber and murderer. She escaped from a maximum security facility six months ago. We’ve been on her tail since then, but she’s evaded us so casually… Our leads led us to Madoi Iroaya, her sister. Which led to you, Madoi’s roommate. We couldn’t ask the criminal’s sister to this… So… We asked you.”

“Hmm… So, what are you asking me to do?” Hinoken had a puzzled look on his face.

“We know you had contact with Momoko, she took interest in you… She’ll come back for you! We need you to wear this wire!” Will took out a small recorder with a small antenna. “We’re gonna tape this on you.”

“Fine!” Hinoken then lifted up his shirt and Will strapped it on. “Are you sure she’ll come back?”

“Most certain! Like all her victims, she takes interest first.”

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Madoi was let out of the hospital when Hinoken returned, Hachiko and Saloma were there too.

“So, Madoi… Are you going home?” asked Hachiko.

“Hell no! KARAOKE! You’re all invited!” Madoi was no longer weak, she ran forward towards the Karaoke bar…

“Yay! Let’s all sing! Let’s get Kishimoto, Saru and Miyuki!” Hachiko jumped up and down. “Wolfman, E-mail Kishimoto-kun and Saru-kun!”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Later…

“Sakuraba-chan, you wanted me to come to meet you here?” Kishimoto said as he ran up.

“And you wanted us?” Saru and Miyuki also came.

“Follow me!” Hachiko marched off towards the Karaoke bar.

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“Hey, Madoi! Let’s sing this!” said Hachiko as she pointed at a certain song.

“Okay!”

It was their turn…

NOTE: This is the second ending to Naruto, the deeper voice is Madoi. I’m shortening the song a bit, also.


Harmonia:

Nee kikoe masu ka?

(Can you hear me?)

Sora wa hate shinaku aoku sunde ite
Umi wa kagiri naku koudai de ite
Kimi wa itsu made mo egao de ite janai to nai chau kara

(The sky is limitless and blue
The sea is endlessly large
To you, please remain smiling or else I’ll cry)

Mawari o mimosas naku temo mou iin da yo
Kono te no naka ni wa minna ga iru kara

(You don’t have to look around now
Because everyone are in these hands)

Naki taku natte nige taku natte
Shiawase o wasure teu shimatta ra mina utae
Hikari ga umare yami ga umare at futatsu wa hitotsu
HARUMONIA kanji te TERAPASHII

(Wanting to cry, wanting to run
If you forget happiness then sing
Light was born and dark was born, the two are together
Feeling Harmonia, Telepathy

Nee kikoe masu ke?

(Can you hear me?)


Everyone clapped and they sat down. Hachiko had a huge grin on her face. “Hee hee!”

“Very nice, Sakuraba-chan!” Kishimoto complemented Hachiko.

“Thanks! I really like to get out of the house and do stuff!” Hachiko still had that grin on her face.

“Umm… Hachiko… Why’s Miyuki here?” Saloma asked.

“Well, it wouldn’t be polite to ask Saru and not Miyuki, since they do… Oops!” Hachiko said as she covered her mouth, a very big mouth indeed.

“Since they what?” Saloma glared at Hachiko.

“Uh-hum… They… Kind of… Live together…” Hachiko couldn’t lie to her mother…

“Oh… Okay…” Saloma didn’t get it for a second. “Wait! Miyuki! You live with a guy? Is this true?!”

“Yes, he is my childhood friend. He needed a place to stay, so I let him live with me.” Miyuki said in a calm voice.

“Oh. I understand!” Saloma said in a cheery voice, like usual… Must be genetic… No wonder Hachiko and Saloma are mother and daughter. “Let’s all go have tea and lunch at my shop! It’s free! I’ll open it just for our little party!”

“YES! I’m starved!” Hachiko cheered with, yet again, a huge grin on her face. “Hey, Oka-san! Let’s have fried rice and mandarin chicken… Extra spicy! Don’t forget the beef broccoli! Mmm!”

“Sure! We’ll all have a Chinese feast! Since that IS my specialty!” Saloma also had a huge grin on her face! “But first we need to buy fish oil! It puts the extra flavors in! Hachiko! Call all of your friends! We’re gonna have a HUGE feast!” Saloma led the way to the store.

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In Salome-Mise, there is a special room called the Chinese Garden meant for special feasts. It was decorated in Chinese lanterns and statues of the Chinese zodiac, it had bamboo plants growing everywhere and beautiful Chinese-style vases filled with flowers only found in China. The table itself was made from polished oak, and so were the chop-sticks. Paintings filled the room, scenes of Chinese warlords taking down enemies and women in Chinese dresses. To go along with the Chinese theme, all dressed in Chinese attire.

Madoi dressed in a pink Chinese dress with red flowers. Hinoken was in a white and red decorated Chinese shirt with black pants. Hachiko had on her red and burgundy Chinese jacket decorated in flowers and black baggy pants. Saloma wore a green and blue Chinese-style dress with a yellow flower in her hair. Miyuki was dressed in a gray and black Chinese dress with a panda on the front. Saru wore a red and gold Chinese shirt with black pants. Kishimoto wore a green and black shirt with white pants.

The table was decorated with all the Chinese food you can think of. Chow mein, fried rice, Mandarin chicken, black-bean chicken, beef broccoli, orange chicken, sweet-and-sour pork and spring rolls.

“This looks delicious, Saloma-san! You really are a good cook!” Kishimoto said politely.

“Well, let’s eat!” Saloma said with a grin on her face. And so they ate their fill and even more. It was such a delight, everyone cheery and some of them may have been tad bit drunk.
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Everyone had went home. Saloma and Hachiko had fallen asleep while talking in Hachiko’s bed. They lay there, silently asleep. It’s a mother-daughter moment that we all miss at one point in time of our life, something that Hachiko had missed as a child, always wondering ‘where’s my mommy?’ while she went to bed, always. This moment of her life will always be cherished, for the first time in a long time, she fell asleep in her mother’s arms.


To be continued…

[Haly K]

Kali returns! Yay! :D Ah, random funny moment are a good thing before a very serious arc. ( Er, at least I think it is. I'm still consider myself a begining writer. -_-; ) This'll be interesting! I knew Momoko was ebil. down right ebil, I might add. :grr: Say, how is your comic going along?
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MegaMan Kilobit
My Own City

[Unknown Neo]

Hmm. You know some of that chinese scene might look cool drawn.
Maybe macth and maddy or miyuki.
Nice work kali and thanks for the PM telling you updated, that was pretty nice.

[rock_lee]

hmm you did well on this one too ^-^
*doesn't want to wait too long for another chapter*
anthanx for telling me about the update:)
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P.S : i was known as lan e-x-e in the ol'forum
avatar & sig are done by me!!

[Kali The Wolf]

Sigh... What a relief... A chapter and a half to go!

[Psycho Panda]

*Phew!*

Just finished reading the story and everyone's posts!

Great Job Kali! I wish I had your fan-fic writing skillz...

Oh well.

"I want to save the egosystem!"

Love that quote...
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I'm going to slaughter you all when I rule the world.

[Kali The Wolf]

BIIIIG problem!!! MY FLOPPY WENT KIPUT!!! I HAVE TO START ALL-OVER!


Sorry...

[Unknown Neo]

So the rest of the story is gone now? Rats. I like this story.
And match/maddy does sound pretty good.

[Haly K]

Ouch, really? I usually save all my stories onto Word Pad. Hope you get the chapters back! ( Rewriting everything after so much work... Man, I hate that. -_-; )
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MegaMan Kilobit
My Own City