Incredible Adolescent Ninja Progs! [Rating:K,G(Humor)]

[Lan1220]

Now.....The Clueless One has a companion! XD And speed dials are always good~ XDDDD
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Sig credit goes to Hikari Angel

[Nenji]

I love the way my character is turning out.
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Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Unknown Neo]

Ha ha ha. Great ninja prog story. The pink and polka dotted ninja sound like fun characters. And the speed-dial joke was hilarious. Great job WB.

[Kitty-Chan]

Heheheheh. Ninja Progs rule! As always, it was a blast to read, Web.
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[Midnight]

Well...I honestly never expected that chapter to turn out that way.

You did a good job characterizing the Whammies--even though they were bred to viciously empty the wallets of those they encounter, ninja progs really have no money to take. So just turning them into savage creatures was a good alternate. And you were right--as many a defeated contestant will tell you--Whammies never attack alone. Great work.

And of course, the Midnight Sage is obviously Sol. *bricked*

One more thing--just how did I get onto your speed-dial list? o_o
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Nenji]

Prog Ninjutsu of course~
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Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[TheWebbuilder]

Actually, I got the number from Lils. *brick'd repeatedly*
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[NotJim]

Wow.... never thought you'd start this up again. I like the (fairly) consistent manner in which the progs are portrayed as. I'm assuming the White prog characterization is just like that, at the end. XD Great job.

*wonders where he went* ;_;
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Avatar and banner by Spork-Queen.EXE.

[Synchro-Kun]

Aren't you OrangeMet, NJ?

Anyway, how could I have miss this? ;__; Awesome job, Web!

I forgot, I am the GreenNinjitsuProg, right?
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"The food whose name is written in this note shall be eaten.".
Avatar and signature requests in here.

[TheWebbuilder]

Yah, you're green. You'd have to be, since Green has the Zakeru Power...

I really, really need to get another chapter out...
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[TheWebbuilder]

Holy cow, an update before this thread hits the third page...

The world's coming to an end...

Orange = NJ.
And for those of you who have wondered, the Midnight Stage is going to be a strictly off-stage presence.

Begin!

“Are you sure this is the right way?” Blue grumbled as he continued trudging up the face of the mountain.

“I‘m sure.” White Prog nodded. “The Midnight Sage said that Green Prog could be found at the top of Mount Killaprognetto. So once we get to the top, we fight Green, win the Bot Filter Power, wipe out the l337 Progs and call it a day. There‘s just one small problem.”

“What‘s that?” Red asked.

“Green Prog only accepts one-on-one challenges, and a group only gets one shot at winning the Bot Filter Power-

“For Pete‘s sake!” Red Prog exploded, “This is a matter of life or death and the future of the Internet! Why can‘t they just give us the blasted program instead of giving us a one-time-only shot at getting it?”

“Well, obviously.” White countered. “That way is much too easy, things have to be contrived and difficult, that is the Ninjutsu way.”

“Oh, of course…” Red rolled his eyes. “So we‘ve got to decide which of us is going to fight Green Prog and be solely responsible for our victory and defeat.”

“NOT ME!” Blue shouted at the top of his lungs. “The Whammy test was bad enough. I‘m not up for another grueling battle so soon after that last one.”

“Chicken.” Red Prog muttered under his breath before speaking in a more audible voice. “I‘ll do it. It‘s been way too long since I‘ve had a good knock-down, drag-out fight. So what if Green’s got the Zakeru power, how bad can it be?”

“Don’t underestimate Green. He’s an incredibly powerful Ninja… In fact, it might be wise if you were to take this with you.”

“What is it?” Red studied the small gold box that White handed him.

“It‘s a CPD. Trust me, it could very well save your bacon.”

“It‘s too bad that Pink and Polka-dot couldn‘t come along with us. They might have been able to help us out…” Blue lamented. “We need more Programs in the group, after all, there‘s safety in numbers.”

“Don‘t worry,” Red Prog shrugged his non-existent shoulders. “I‘m sure that some other Prog will show up and help us, and even if they don‘t we can take- EVERYBODY DOWN!”

White and Blue’s heads snapped up and their eyes widened in fright for a half-second. Heading straight for their heads were three gleaming, razor-sharp swords. Blue and Red immediately hit the ground, allowing the deadly blades to sail harmlessly over their heads.

White’s eyes snapped closed as he muttered a barely audible “Kawarimi No Jutsu”. The Prog vanished in a puff of smoke and was replaced by a stuffed plushie that bore a strange resemblance to a local politician. The sword whipped through the air and cleaved the doll in two.

The leader reappeared a few feet up in the air and easily dropped to the ground.

Red got to his feet and looked at the decapitated plushie.

“Uh… I‘m guessing that you aren‘t a huge Buston fan.”

“How could you tell?” White shrugged and turned his gaze up to follow the path that the assaulting swords had taken. A few seconds passed before he spotted the source of the attack, an orange-garbed Ninja Program was sliding down the slope towards the trio of allies.

Red, White and Blue immediately drew their weapons and held them at the ready.

“Sorry about that!” The Orange Program shouted as he dropped to the ground in front of the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs. “I, uh, was practicing… and lost my grip.”

“You lost your grip… on three different swords.” Red raised an eye in disbelief. “Three swords that just about skewered us…”

“Uh, yeah. You see, I‘m trying to learn the ancient art of Blaido, where you learn to dance with the blades and then turn that dance into a deadly form of combat… I’m not doing that well, I keep losing my telekinetic grip on the swords.”

“I see…”

“Hey, why don‘t you ask White to help you.” Blue piped up. “He’s been around long enough that he was probably there when they invented Blaido and-”

Blue Prog blinked and found himself lying on the ground with a massive throbbing pain in the back of his head.

White calmly sheathed his bokken.

“Don‘t call me old.” White adjusted his glasses. “Sadly, I don‘t know anything about Blaido, you‘d do better to seek out Pink Prog and ask her to instruct you. She‘s a master at any and all forms of swordplay.”

“I see, thanks.”

“Hey, why don‘t you hook up with us for a while? White can help you learn other areas of Ninjutsu, and it‘ll be safer for us and you if we all travel together in one big pack.”

“Sure, fine by me.” Orange nodded.

* * * * * *

“So… the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs are trying to find the Bot Filter Power.” ShadowMan folded his arms over his large stomach. “That power could stop the leet programs in their tracks. We must stop them at all costs.”

“W@tehv3r j00 s@e.” The purple and black Program standing before the chubby ninja said. “W3l1 gt3 r1t3 0n 17 @n cruhsed 3m! Yaya LOLZ!”

“That would be ideal.” The purple ninja frowned as he tried to decipher what his lackey had said. “Bugged Prog, take four or five other l337 ninjas and have them crush the IANP once and for all. Their interference in the search for the purple mystery data can‘t be tolerated.”

“R1t3, d00d. W3l1 r0zz0rs 7hire b0xx0rs @n brak3 7heri b03ns. IANP w0n7 m3s wit us n0 mor.”

ShadowMan couldn’t take anymore of the garbled language, he shot a withering look at Bugged and growled.

“Do you realize that you make Yellow Prog look like a genius?”

“7h@ts 7h3 n1c3st t1ng @ny1s 3v@ s@d3 2 m3...” Bugged Program started sniffling with joy as the full scope of the supposed ‘compliment’ hit him. “I n3v@ n3w U f3l d@7 w@I 2b0t m3...”

“Uh… of course.” ShadowMan looked completely bewildered. “I‘ve always thought that.”

“Gim33 @ hug, d00d…” Bugged said between the tears flowing down his face. “j00 t3h b3s7 p@1 @ gy c00d h@v.”

“What the-?!” ShadowMan shot a panicked look at the Program who was hovering towards him. “What are you doing?!”

“j00 my p@l!!” Bugged Prog shot forward and tried to tackle the chubby Ninja.

“Get away from me!” ShadowMan took off running- all 473 pounds of him. Unfortunately, the error-filled program wasn’t deterred in the slightest and took off in hot pursuit of his employer.

And as the chubby Ninja began dashing away from the erroneously programmed Program, he dispelled a myth that had plagued the planet for centuries.

He proved that chubby people can, in fact, run.

* * * * *

“Finally!” Blue hopped up the final ledge and found himself standing on the extreme top of the mountain. “We‘ve reached the peak of Mount Killaprognetto…”

“Alright, now where‘s green?” Red glanced around quickly. “I‘ve got a date to pulverize him.”

“Green Prog will show up at dusk.” The White-garbed Ninja Prog explained. “Until then, it might be wise if we were to spend some time regaining our strength… that climb took a lot out of me.”

“I hear that happens when you hit twenty.” Blue noted, and then immediately ducked under the expected bokken slash. The Blue Program grinned as he evaded the attack.

“Kids these days.” The White Program sheathed his weapon. “Blue, you fix up some food. Red, you might want to catch a few Z‘s. Orange, I‘m guessing that you want to practice your Blaido skills.”

“How‘d you guess?” The Orange Program nodded.

“That‘s fine, just do it someplace far away from here. Preferably somewhere where innocent bystanders, like us, won‘t be at risk of being impaled by flying swords.”

The Orange program chuckled nervously. “Got it.”

With that, the newcomer leapt off to find a remote area to practice his ninja skills.

At the moment, things were looking up for the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs, they were one step away from completing their quest for the Bot Filter Power, and then the L337 Programs wouldn’t be able to pose a threat to the rest of the world. But, as in most cases, the ground was about to fall out from under the Program’s feet.

Quite literally.

For at that moment, a massive tremor ripped through the mountainside and split the ground beneath the Programs. Gravity then carried out it’s course of action, and sent the Progs tumbling down the newly created hole, for several long seconds they fell…

White Prog experienced one of those rare moments when everything slowed down, resulting in his thoughts and analysis of the situation passing by much faster than the events themselves transpired. His body noted that he was currently falling down a long hole with no bottom in sight, and his mind noted that he’d better land soon or he was going to be in some serious trouble…

His body answered his smug mind by slamming into a rough stone floor. A very, very hard rough stone floor.

White Prog’s mind and body came to the mutual agreement that his backside was going to be very sore for the next few days.

“Ow…” The pale Ninja groaned.

At that moment, the Ninja noticed a shadow, a shadow that was growing in size as something came closer to the ground, a shadow that he was directly underneath. White Prog’s head snapped up to find Blue, Orange and Red tumbling down towards him.

The colorless Ninja Prog uttered the only thing that came to his mind.

“This is going to hurt.”

Five minutes later, after the Progs had recovered from their unexpected fall…

“Ow.” Blue grumbled as he righted himself. “That hurt… what happened?”

“It‘s quite simple.” A new voice ripped through the air. “I knocked the ground out from under your feet so that Red Prog could fight me.”

“Wait-a-minute.” Red looked up to find the Green-clad Program hovering towards them. “I thought that you only showed up at sunset to take on challengers.”

“Nah, those were the old rules, like the one-deal-and-if-you-lose-it‘s-all-over thing. We dropped that policy long ago.” Green shrugged.

Orange, Blue and Red shot a questioning look at White.

“So I was wrong.” The colorless Prog shook his head. “It‘s been known to happen.”

“White was wrong!” Blue shouted at the top of his lungs. “Stop the presses!”

The leader groaned and rolled his eyes in annoyed disbelief.

“Whatever.” Red drew his Shuriken and prepared to enter the coming fight. “Let‘s rumble!”

“Whatever you say! The rules are simple, you hit me and you win.” Green back-flipped away to put some distance between him and his challenger. “Prepare to be shocked!”

“Hold up a moment,” Red drew back. “If we‘re going to do this, then we‘re not going to do electricity-related puns.”

“Not even a few little ones?”

“No.”

“Spoilsport.” Green growled then snapped his sword forward, causing a bolt of electrical power to rip away from the blade. “ZAKERU!”

The electricity arced through the air, and narrowly missed striking the Red Program, who had vaulted away at the last second before impact.

“YE-HAAA!” The red-garbed Program bounced off of the back wall and shot forward towards his opponent. Quickly he drew his Kunai and fired them off at the Green Program, he then followed up with a salvo of his Shurikens.

The Green Program flipped away from the barrage, then bounced off of the back wall, rebounded off of the ceiling and fired off another burst of electricity at his attacker.

Red enlarged his shuriken until it was almost as big as he was. He then proceeded to spin it rapidly, forming a makeshift shield to deflect the thunderbolts. The electrical power ricocheted off of his defense, flew through the air, and smashed into the wall above Orange, White and Blue’s head.

The three sidelined Progs looked up as the electricity blew a hole in the wall over their heads, and then went scrambling for safety as rocks and debris be raining from the aforementioned explosion.

“Watch it!” Blue shouted. “There‘re innocent Progs over here! Ya know, it’d be really bad if they were injured during your little scrap!”

The two fighters didn’t respond to the warning, they just concentrated on beating the snot out of each other… which was saying something considering the fact that Ninja Progs didn’t have noses.

“ZAKERU!!” Green unleashed another spurt of electricity from his weapon.

“Ninja Strike: Pigeon over Electric Cable!” Red leapt up into the air and slammed feet-first into the electrical bolt. Amazingly enough, the electricity failed to harm the Ninja Prog, who began ‘surfing’ down the length of the electrical attack towards it’s source.

“What the-?” Green Prog gaped in bewilderment for a split second, before canceling the attack. Obviously if the Zackeru continued to run, Red would be able to surf down to the sword and launch an attack on Green at point-blank range.

Of course, once the electric attack was stopped, the electrical current radiating from the sword ceased too. And once the current stopped, Red Prog found himself suspended in mid-air with nothing beneath him.

And when gravity did it’s thing, Red wound up lying on the painfully hard ground.

“Ow.” The Crimson Program groaned, before rolling away from another burst of Zakeru power. The Prog flipped upright, and then fired off another round of Shuriken, which, of course, were deflected from their green target by another round of lightning.

“Is it just me,” Blue commented. “Or are Green and Red evenly matched? Neither one of them has scored a hit yet.”

“Eh, I think you‘re right.” Orange nodded. “They‘re both at the same level…”

The two Progs looked over at White, expecting some kind of worn-out, seasoned tid-bit of advice on the situation… But instead they found the colorless Prog diligently holding a metal pan over a decent sized fire.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Orange asked.

“Making popcorn.” White answered. “We’re going to be here for a while and they’re putting on quite a show… so why not?’

Orange and Blue collapsed to the floor.

Back at the ranch, Red Prog was desperately trying to get in close enough to Green to mount some kind of attack, but found his every effort stymied by Green’s annoying ability to summon lighting at will.

“Alright…” Red growled, “time to put an end to this…”

Green Prog shouted and unleashed another electrical beam from his sword.

“Ultimate Ninja Strike, Ultra-Godmod!”

Red exploded into a blur of motion as he shot through the air at incredible speed. Effortlessly he whipped by the lightning and closed in on his opponent… in just a few more steps he’d be in position to whack Green with his Kunai and it’d all be over.

At least, that was what he thought.

One step away from complete victory, a brick wall appeared right smack dab in front of the crimson ninja. Who, due to his intense speed, had no recourse but to carry out the set-up situation and plow into the aforementioned wall at super-sonic speed.

“Ow.” Red moaned and fell backwards away from the Prog-shaped dent in the brick wall. “Where‘d that come from?”

“The wall? Oh, it came from the Bot-Filter Power.” Green shrugged. “The BFP allows the user to cut through leet, godmodding, and generally do whatever you want it to.”

“I shoulda known.” The Crimson Prog rolled to his feet. “Dang it, man, how‘m I s‘posed to get close enough to tag you?”

“It‘s simple, you can‘t.” Green shrugged.

“Oh-kay, that does it!” Red growled and leapt up into the air dramatically. “It‘s time to go all out and end this!”

“In case you haven‘t noticed,” Green replied. “You can‘t get close enough to touch me, so how are you going to end it? Are you quitting?”

“Hardly, I‘m going to break out all of the stops. It‘s time for the cliché-one-time-only-unstoppable-transformation!” Red grinned from behind his mask. “And I‘ve got just the thing to do it, too. The CPD!”

“CPD?”

“That‘s right, the Convenient Plot Device!” Red drew the gold box from his pocket and thrust it skyward.

“NO! Not a Plot Device!”

“Yes! The Plot Device! Ninja Progs, Transform and Roll Out!”

As soon as those words left his mouth, a bright light surrounded the Crimson Program. Slowly the glow subsided to reveal the Red Program, only he was now covered with a bright golden sheen.

“Alright, I‘m unstoppable now! Sonic Boom!” Red exploded into motion, rocketing through the air down towards his opponent.

“No, you don‘t!” Green whipped his sword about, sending more spurts of electricity through the air. Unfortunately, all of his attacks merely ‘ka-pinged’ off of the transformed Ninja Prog.

“Yes, I do!” Red cackled as he shortened the distance between him and his antagonist.

“Bot Filter, GO!” Green shouted.

A burst of energy leapt out of the ground, taking on the form of a human hand. The ‘hand’ tried to close around Red and halt his advancement, but failed to secure a grip on the gleaming Ninja.

“And now for the finisher!” Red shouted as he literally slipped through the Bot’s fingers.

At the last second, Green tried to summon another wall to stop the attacking Prog in it’s tracks… But this time Red just smashed his way through the barrier and kept on going.

“Yahoooo!” Red shouted as he crashed into Green. “I win!”

* * * * *

“Well, that was… unexpected.” Green panted. “It‘s about doggone time someone beat me at that game, I was wondering if someone was ever going to take this Bot Filter off of my hands.”

“Whoa, hold the phone.” Red gaped in bewilderment. “You WANTED to lose the power?”

“Yeah, do you have any idea how stressful it is being the guardian of such a thing?” Green shrugged. “Day in, day out, everyone‘s challenging you trying to win control of the BFP. I haven‘t had a peaceful evening in years… so now that you‘ve won, they‘ll all come and pester you about it! Isn‘t it great?”

“Uh, yeah.” Red suddenly looked a lot less enthusiastic than he had earlier.

“But anyway, here‘s you Bot Filter Power.” Green pressed a green emblem into Red’s telepathic hand. “Have fun, I know I will!”

“Right…” Red stared at the Bot Filter Power in his hand. “What on earth have I gotten myself into?”

End!

Bleh... I'm so glad that chapter's done and over with...
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[Lan1220]

So blaido originated from SwordsDancer? So that's what the BFP does eh? And HK can godmod. And he also has a plot device D: nyuuuuuu~
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Sig credit goes to Hikari Angel

[Nenji]

I wonder if that CPD works against me too. XD

That was a very good chapter Web! I enjoyed it immensely and it was definately worth the wait! I loved the way you turned clichés into great plot devices (no pun intended).
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Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Unknown Neo]

Funny chapter. I like all the different things they did. Good work WB.
Now how many colors are there?

[Roll Soul]

I do believe my reaction to this fic can be summed up thusly:

*leans back in her chair, laughing hard*
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| DeviantArt | LiveJournal |

[NotJim]

My swords did nothing. ;o;

Still, I loved this chapter quite muchly. I didn't mind my portrayal as a clumsy swords dancer, from what I've done in the channel. XD;

Nice job.
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Avatar and banner by Spork-Queen.EXE.

[Kitty-Chan]

Oh man, this one's always good for a laugh. Web, next time you have a Ninja Prog moment in the chan, highlight me so I can join in.
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[Midnight]

Indeed it was.

I think this little description fits Orange's weapon exactly (quoted from the Kingdom of Loathing)

"ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon
Well, it's definitely a weapon of some sort. It consists of four long blades, three wooden poles, six steel chains, and an assortment of spikes. You have absolutely no idea how to use it, but it looks totally badass."

How appropriate for your character!

Anyway, it was quite nice, even if a lot of the same. The 1337 made my head ache, the zany antics of the other progs never failed to put a smile on my face, and my somehow "outside presence" was somewhat amusing. Great work.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[NotJim]

[TheWebbuilder]

Another update before this thread hits the third page. The world really is coming to an end.

Begin!

“Run for your lives!!”

“What kind of viruses are these things?!” A generic NormNavi shouted as he continued pumping round after round of Busterfire into the approaching hoard. “Their barriers are unbreakable!!”

“I dunno, but if we don‘t do something quick, then they‘ll overrun the End Area and spill into the other areas of the Net, we can‘t let that happen!” A NormNavi recolor called back. “We’ve got to do something!”

“Don‘t say that! We‘ll get wiped out if you do!”

“What are you talking about?” The second Navi stared at his companion.

“Think about it!” The first Navi commented as he continued firing. “We‘re standard issue cannon-fodder Net Navi, what do we ever do around here besides get deleted?”

The second Navi paused as he thought about that question for a long moment. Finally he answered. “Nothing.”

“Right, then don‘t suggest that we do anything, it‘ll get you killed, trust me.”

* * * * * *

“GREGAR CLAW!! OW!!” Beast Out MegaMan howled in pain as his arm rebounded harmlessly off of the barrier surrounding the bizarre virus. Pained by his failure to break through the shield, literally, he clutched his clawed right arm with his undamaged left hand. “It‘s no good, Lan. Not even Beast Out can get through their auras.”

“Man, what are these things made of?” The aforementioned Net Op frowned and studied his PET’s display.

“I don‘t know, but whatever it is, it hurts.” BO MegaMan desperately tried to coax some feeling back into his fingers.

“W3R3 73|-| |\|1|\|j@ Pr0gs!” The closest l337 Prog announced as he drew his weapon.

“Uh, did you understand any of that?” Lan raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

“It sounded a little like ‘We’re the leech ninna frogs’… WHOA!” The Gregar-infused net battler replied. The second half of his sentence came out as a yelp as he was forced to dodge a handful of razor-sharp shuriken. “Alright, that does it! GREGAR BREATH!!”

A blast of flame shot away from the Net Navi’s mouth-guard and rushed over the attacking Ninja Progs, the attack ripped at their protective auras, but failed to actually accomplish anything.

“\/\/|-|0@, \/\/|-|@77@ |_173 S|-|()!” The closest Prog shouted in amazement.

“I don‘t wear bright shoes!” BO MegaMan growled as he dove at the offending Program, his claws lashing out to attack at all angles.

“C@R3|=U11 J00 D0|\|7 BR@|< @ N@13.” Another Ninja Prog commented. “J00 C@|\|7 BR@|<3 R @UR@.”

“What’s a broken Honda got to do with anything?!” The Net Navi leapt away from another round of shuriken.

“|\|07|-|1|\|, !7 @1 I|\| J00 |\/|1|\|D!!”

“GAH!!!” BO MegaMan threw his arms about his head, threw his head back and screamed in agony. “I’M LOSING MY MIND!?”

“For pete‘s sake, shut up already! Screaming isn‘t doing any good!”

“Say what?” The Net Navi dropped his gaze to find yet another Prog standing in front of him. Unlike the others, however, this one didn’t have any kind of barrier surrounding it. It was also decked out in indigo garb that made it look vaguely ninja-ish. It even sported an indigo face mask.

“These are l337 Progs, Mr. Gospel-wanna-be.” Indigo Prog snapped. “They’re mercenaries. They spread insanity and confusion wherever they go. It’s a byproduct of their existence, but if you strengthen your mind against their assault, then you can withstand the l337 they spout. Understand it, no. Withstand it, yes.”

“’Gospel-wanna-be?’” BO MegaMan repeated, before drinking in everything that the indigo Prog had said. “Uh, thanks. Who are you? And what do these guys want?”

“I‘m Indigo Prog, a wise, learned, master of the Ninjutsu Prog arts. As toward what these things want, I don‘t know. But they don‘t seem to be attacking anything unless it gets in their way, my guess is that they‘re looking for something.”

“Well, if they want it, then we can‘t let them have it.” Lan broke into the conversation.

“I‘m not so sure that‘s a good idea, they might be looking for something completely harmless, and when they find whatever-it-is, they‘re leave on their own. Maybe we should just wait them out.”

“No can do, these guys have to be shut down. They‘re evil.”

“I think they‘re just misguided, what makes you think that they‘re evil?”

“I‘m a hero, I know these things. So don‘t just stand there, let‘s start attacking them!”

BO MegaMan and Indigo Prog exchanged a look.

“This kid‘s saved the world how many times?” Indigo wanted to know.

* * * * *

“Holy baloney.” Red Prog hopped up onto Blue Prog’s head, who promptly collapsed due to Red’s weight, so that he could see into the area. “Things have gone from bad to worse, the leet Progs have totally taken over this area.”

“So it seems.” White nodded. “Then let‘s get to work, let me see the Bot Filter Power.”

The Red-garbed Program reached into his tunic and retrieved the forbidden power. He promptly turned it over to the elder Prog.

White turned to face their newly-gained orange-robed ally. “Orange, you didn‘t sign on for this, I‘ll understand if you want to avoid this fight.”

“No way, I want to do something with my limited Blaido skills.” Orange replied. “Besides, I want to have some kind of significant role in this fic.”

“Fic?” Red repeated. “What‘s a fic?”

The conversation was interrupted by an extremely loud crashing sound that shook the area, as well as just about anything in the area, along with anyone who happened to be in the area.

“What on earth was that?” The Crimson Program looked around nervously.

“The fourth wall.” White Prog moaned.

“The what?”

“Nothing.” Orange hastily tried to cover up what had happened. “Anyway, let‘s unleash this BFP and then start waylaying some n00bs.”

“Sounds good to me.” Red nodded eagerly.

“But… first…” Blue Prog gasped. “Would… you… please… GET OFF ME!”

“WHOA!” Red leaped off of his flattened buddy. “Sorry about that.”

“Sure you are.” Blue shot his partner an angry look.

“Alright, people-” White snapped. “er, Progs. We don‘t have time for that, so let‘s just do what we came here to do and get on with it.”

The other three Progs nodded and then focused their attention on the small green coin that they knew as the Bot Filter Power.

“Now, here we go I‘m going to try and summon the Bot, the mystical power that dwells in this token…” The colorless Prog closed his eyes and began mentally levitating the coin around in a small circle. “Hear our cry, mighty Bot! Arise and give us the strength to guard our Chan! We call upon you! ARISE DE-PUKU!!”

A small spark lit up the coin, and then a thunderbolt ripped through the air… A small stream of bubbles appeared on the surface of the coin, and then bubbled over the edge… amazingly enough, the bubbles defied all of the known laws of physics as they gathered together and increased in size. Soon they had reached a size that was about as big as two Progs standing side by side. For a moment all was calm, and then a squat, horribly familiar form burst out of the top bubble and began floating on top of the column of soap suds as if he were a genie tethered to a lamp.

“You called, de-puku?” The form looked down at the Ninja Programs.

“GAH!!” Orange and Blue shrieked as they began backpedaling. “It‘s BubbleMan! He‘s back from the dead!”

“Whaddaya mean, de-puku?” The Bot looked over the edge of his tower of foam. “Wait, has BobbleMan been using my name again, de-puku?”

“Looks like it.” White commented. “Sorry, Bubbs. BobbleMan caused quite a bit of fuss in your name.”

“Eh, kids. What can you do with them, de-puku?” BubbleMan shrugged. “Alright, what‘d you call me for, de-puku?”

“Wait, he‘s the Bot!?” Blue looked bewildered. “I thought that- never mind.”

“We need your power, we‘ve got a bunch of n00bs running wild and the BFP is only thing that can take care of them.” Red Prog huffed. “So give us some of the BFP so that we can wipe the deck with them.”

“Oh, is that all? No problem, de-puku.” BubbleMan smiled. “I‘ve been itching to watch a real fight, and two hundred-to-one odds looks like it‘ll be a good one. Even if the two hundred are n00bs. The BFP‘s yours. ALAKA-PUKU!”

Instantly a bolt of lightning shot down from the digital heavens and struck the group of ninja programs. Incredibly, it didn’t hurt them at all, instead it seemed to fill each and every one of them with it’s power. So much so that each Program felt like he was practically bursting with it.

“Alright! I love this!!” Red Prog whipped out his shuriken and wove it through the air, to his amazement, the weapon left a trail of sparks over the path that it had taken. “I feel invincible! Let‘s go take them out!”

“I… I feel like I actually know Blaido!” Orange Prog shouted. “No, I do know Blaido!”

“WHOHOO!” Blue screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Ninja Progs!” White shouted over the others. “The BFP is ours! Let‘s go kick some tail!”

With a cheer, the four Progs went flying off in different directions. Each one so pumped up by the BFP that they felt like they could take out a quarter of the army that they faced.

Blue rocketed into a cluster of leet Programs and sent his spear rocketing into the closest one. The leet ninja’s aura shattered on contact with the weapon, causing the ninja inside to go scrambling for cover.

“|-|0\/\/ J00 D0 7|-|@7!?”

“Trade secret!” Blue replied as he spun his staff overhead and then sent it rocketing down onto the defenseless Prog’s head. Quickly and effectively sending the n00b program to dreamland.

The blue-garbed Ninja Prog shouted with glee as his weapon wove back and forth, in and out in an intense blur so fast that he could hardly see it. All around him the n00bs fell as if they were totem poles facing TomahawkMan’s tomahawk.

“HIA!” Red Prog vaulted up on top of one of the leet Prog’s barriers. From there he propelled himself up into a long, high jump. Hastily the Crimson Program began showering the area with his shuriken, barriers and auras went to pieces beneath his rain of weaponry. And any Prog unfortunate enough to get hit twice was put down for the count.

Orange whipped about in a tight circle, cutting down the auras around him. Never before had he wielded his swords like this before. Now he could actually feel the wind cutting over the sharp blades as he juked and slashed in one long trail of motion, scarcely had one move ended before it was blended into the next in a perpetual blur of motion. This was Blaido, this was dancing with swords… this was doing a pretty danged good job of mowing down anything around him.

White flipped about, his bokken shattering auras and knocking heads together. Deftly he wove around, using his wooden sword much like the heroes of a certain sci-fi movie used their swords of light to battle it out. Interestingly enough, his sword even mimicked the idea, every time he slashed a sound effect from the movie would play.

“Keep it up!” Blue shouted as he shredded another aura. “The ranks are thinning!”

Red didn’t bother to reply, he just kept on shouting inarticulate kung-fu-ish screams as he continued to pummel the defenseless leet Progs with his Bot Powers.

“Hey!” White screamed over the din, while dodging a rain of shuriken in mid-air. “Form up, we‘ll let them have a taste of the BFP-Powered Super Wet Spear Jab of Doom!”

Deftly the colorless Prog vaulted over a hoard of leet n00bs, back-flipped around for style, and then landed right next to the blue-garbed Ninja Prog.

“Ninja Strike: Flying Monkey!” White thrust out his bokken and began channeling his energy into the weapon.

“Ninja Attack: Water Strider!” Blue whipped his sword around and stabbed it into the bokken. He too began focusing his power into the weapon.

“HI-YA! Ninja Strike: Ninja Gale!” Red dropped down from above and joined his Shuriken to the forming weapon.

“Ninja Art: Blaido Canvas!” Orange came out of nowhere and joined his swords to the oncoming attack.

“Since when has he been a part of the Super Wet Spear Jab of Doom?” Blue wanted to know.

“Don’t know, but if it means more power, and therefore more explosions, then I say let ‘em in.” Red commented. “HEY LEET N00BS! You‘ve got five seconds to get out of here before we blow you all to kingdom come!”

Evidently the leet Progs had finally realized that they outmatched, outgunned and outclassed by the other Ninja Progs. They decided not to chance the warning and immediately began scrambling over one another towards the only exit to the area.

“Here we go!” White watched their new form of attack fuse together out of their individual weaponry. However, instead of the Super Wet Spear Jab of Doom, a different ultimate weapon resulted- a large Katana with a sparkling silver blade.

“The BFP Power caused our Spear Jab to evolve into a more powerful weapon!” White commented. “C‘mon, let‘s use it!”

Acting as one, the Ninja Progs seized the weapon with their telepathic arms and drew it back. Screaming ‘Incredible Flaming Sonic Boom of Godmodding’ at the top of their lungs, they swiped the blade through the air; a burst of flame exploded away from the sword and shot off off a right angle to the path that the sword had taken.

The flaming Sonic Boom swept over the area, leaving everything untouched- except for the l337 Progs, which were fried on contact with the burning attack. Once the Sonic Boom had run their course, not a single l337 Ninja Prog was left standing… however more than a few had been deep fried.

"Alright!" Blue quipped. "Who ordered the barbeque?"

“That was… anti-climatic.” Red Prog watched as the giant Katana dissolved back into their individual weapons. “After all we’d been through, I kinda expected that to be tougher.”

“It would have been, if we didn‘t have the power of BubbleMan on our side.” White commented.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

The Incredible Adolescent Ninja Progs looked up, following the sound of the voice that had just broken out over the area. A split second later they were forced to jump back from surprise- to keep from getting flattened by a 600-pound ShadowMan.

“Whoa, that guy needs to go on a diet.” Red observed.

“I can‘t believe this…” ShadowMan looked around in dismay. “You… you stopped the l337 Ninja Progs… I‘ll never find that Purple Mystery Data now…”

“Huh?” Red, Blue, Orange and White looked at the newcomer with shared blank expressions.

“You meddlers fried the l337 Ninja Progs, when I had hired them to find the hidden Purple Mystery Data in this area, it contains vital secrets that no one else must get their hands on!” ShadowMan shouted. “Oh… I‘ll never find that data now!”

Before the conversation could progress beyond that point, a new voice cut through the air, one that sent chills racing down White’s spine.

“White Prog? Is that you?”

“Oh no…” White felt his pupils shrinking in fear as that voice burned it’s way into his brain. Slowly he turned around to find that he was correct. Standing behind him was Beast Out MegaMan and- “Indigo?”

“Well, it‘s about time I caught up with you.” The Indigo-colored Prog barked. “You never call, you never write… the least you could do is drop me a post-card now and then. Is that any way to treat your former teacher?”

“Teacher!?” Orange, Blue and Red repeated in disbelief.

“Uh, yeah.” White chuckled nervously. “Indigo Prog, here, uh, was my Ninja Arts teacher long before you guys were created… I… uh, haven’t exactly kept in touch with over the years.”

“More like ignored me completely.” Indigo huffed.

“Whoa, you were White‘s teacher?” Blue’s eyes became as wide as a watermelon turned sideways. “I always thought that White was old, but you must be precompustoric. WHOA!”

Immediately the blue-garbed Prog was forced to leap into the air to avoid a savage swipe of White’s bokken. Successful in evading the attack, Blue began to laugh in triumph, at least until Indigo’s sword caught him full in the face and sent him flying backward through the air.

“DON‘T CALL ME OLD!” White and Indigo shouted in unison.

“Gee, I never who'd have thought that they could have been teacher and student.” Red sarcastically whispered to Orange.

Orange nodded sagely.

Meanwhile, Blue continued screaming in terror as he went flying backward. Abruptly his flight was halted as gravity did it’s job and pulled him into the ground. However, the second that his head hit the floor, the tiling just above him popped up into the air, evidently it had never been secured to the rest of the network, and instead just fitted into place. The flooring flipped over, as it reached the height of it’s jump, and then descended right on top of the Blue-garbed Program.

Blue just laid there and moaned feebly.

But that wasn’t the last of the chain of events, once the flooring had broken free, a crystal of data was sent flying out from under the section of loose flooring. The data flew through the air, then miraculously landed at ShadowMan’s feet, where the purple crystal shattered into a thousand pieces. A small scroll rolled free of the debris, evidently having been concealed inside..

“Hmm?” ShadowMan’s eyes lit up in hope. “Is this?”

Hastily the overweight ninja picked up the scroll and unfurled it, scarcely had his eyes lighted upon the first line than he jumped for joy and began leaping up and down in jubilation- causing the rest of the network to shake, rattle, and roll from the force of his landings.

“Whoa!!” The Ninja Progs and Beast Out Navi screeched as they were rocked to and fro. “What was in that thing?”

“This!” ShadowMan turned the scroll around for the others to see. “It’s the hidden data that I was trying to find. It‘s just what I thought it was, years ago my great-great-grandmothers recipe for chocolate-chip cookies was lost, save for one copy that had been hidden away in the End Area of the Internet… This is the recipe, and the secrets that I was trying to find when I hired the l337 Progs!”

“Wait just a cotton picking minute.” White snapped as the full force of that explanation hit him. “You mean that you had the entire network ransacked-”

“And sent us off on a dangerous quest of the BFP-” Red said as he collected the coin storing the Bot Filter Power.

“And forced me to take the Whammy Test-” Blue moaned as he pulled himself out from the pile of flooring.

“And made us fight a hoard of n00bs-” Orange finished.

“FOR SOME STUPID RECIPE!?” The Progs screamed in unison.

“It‘s not a stupid recipe! These are the best cookies you‘ll ever taste!” ShadowMan defended his actions.

White Prog exchanged a quick look with the other Ninja’s in his entourage. Then he snapped his attention back to the source of their troubles. “Incredible Adolescent Ninja Progs… Grab him.”

“What?! WAIT!” ShadowMan took a few steps backward as the other Ninjas present began closing in on him. “What do you think you‘re doing?!”


* * * * * *

“Oh, c‘mon, ShadowMan don‘t look at us like that.” Blue Prog studied the gagged Ninja on the other side of the fence.

“Yeah, I‘m sure that you‘ll wiggle your way out of those ropes eventually.” Red piped up as he closed the gate. “A slick Ninja like you probably knows a dozen different ways to make that happen.”

“And if not,” Orange finished, “I‘m sure that the Whammies will lend you a hand.”

At those words, ShadowMan looked around fearfully, trying to find out if the savage beasts where anywhere around him.

“I dunno, you think this is a little harsh?” Blue glanced at White. “Leaving him tied up and gagged in the middle of the Whammy‘s breeding ground isn‘t exactly playing by the Geneva Convention.”

“Ask me if I care.” The colorless Prog shrugged as he stepped away from the gate. “Besides, this is the guy who indirectly forced you to take the Whammy Test.”

“Good point, are you sure that we shouldn‘t cover him with Whammy Chow before we go?” Blue Prog look as if he was seriously contemplating the idea.

“Nah, we’ve done enough.” Red flipped over to join the others. “I kind of hate to see this adventure end, though. It was fun, even if it was entirely warped.”

“Yeah, but I‘m sure that another will come along before long.” White shrugged. “Alright, Ninja Progs, this one‘s over. You did great, so let‘s get back home and the steaks are on me.”

With one last Ninja yell, the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Progs leapt up into the air and exploded into a could of smoke. When the vapor cleared, no trace of their presence remained… They had vanished, leaving one trussed-up ShadowMan lying in the middle of the Whammy Pit behind…

End.

Yeah, my word processor hates me now for typing in all that l337. How could anyone ever think that punching that stuff in is faster and easier to comprehend than normal typing?