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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:31 pm Post subject: OT - Danny Phantom: Estrelas |
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I really like this story so I decided to post it. \o/ Don't know if we have many Danny Phantom fans on the forum, but here it is anyway. XP
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2865968/1/
Currently 3 chapters long. _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
avatar by caramell_dansen
Last edited by Izumi on Thu May 11, 2006 8:46 pm; edited 4 times in total |
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Mugen.exe The Original Amish Technogeek!
Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 911 Location: Behind you, readying a Poison Jab.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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Interesting first chapter! I guess timeline-wise it's from before she met Danny. You did a really good job characterizing Sam, and I enjoyed the first chapter. I'll definately read the next ones too, so it's obvious I liked it. Good job!
Edit- Ah, I see, AU... forgot to mention that in my post, though it crossed my mind after skimming through the second chapter (which was good too, by the way). _________________
False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP
Last edited by Mugen.exe on Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:43 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Neko Queen of Fluff
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 1217 Location: The computer
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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No Mugen, it's AU. She set the same charachters in an alternate universe. There is no continuity with the actual show plot XD
Izu, you've already seen me fangirl and you know my opinion but I still say this fic kicks so much butt XD _________________ Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.
Avatar, credit Yakitate@devart |
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Ginrei Net Savior
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 197 Location: In a really old house with silly internets.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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I have never been much of a Danny Phantom fan, until the wonderful world of DP fanfic introduced itself to me a week ago.
....now I ckeck ff.net daily for updates. >_< Darn you and your sig/picture in the art forum/mentioning various DP things, Izumi!!
The thing I like about all of your writing is how you make the reader just want to keep reading. You have an idea who this invisible ghost is, but you can't be sure... I've had to physically stop and slow down to avoid the temptation of skipping lines. However, your story isn't bogged down by endless descriptions between dialog, so there's no reason to skim past anything. I also very much like your attention to details, such as the annoyances of dust. The scene where Mr. Mysterious Ghost introduces himself is very good, too. Just... the fact that he's actually sitting in the armchair, his nervous attitude... very well written! I look forward to reading more!
(This is also the first, hm, "out-there" story I've bothered to read. I generally avoid "so-and-so-is-DEAD" and "weird-non-show-pairing-here!", and actually passed over your 'fic a few times because I didn't recognize the name... Heh! I'll have to give more things a chance, hm?)
(P.P.S- Ooh! Ooh! Is creepy phyciatrist lady that one ghost who feeds off misery? I only saw part of the episode with her, so I'm not sure.) |
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:56 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks so much for your interest, guys. :) Yeah, I think a lot of people on FFN are passing it over because of the ambiguous summary, but it's nice to know some people are reading at least. XD And yes, that's Penelope all right! I hate that woman, but she's so useful as a plot device. XD _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
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Kitty-Chan Net Police
Joined: 08 Jul 2005 Posts: 438 Location: Massillon, Ohio, USA
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Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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I think this is quite good. Are you going to bring in Tucker? _________________ Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)* |
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:44 pm Post subject: |
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People reading? Yes? No? Chapters through 10 are now up. _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
avatar by caramell_dansen |
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Ginrei Net Savior
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 197 Location: In a really old house with silly internets.
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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Dum dum duuuum, chapter 10! My, what a twist you've thrown in at the end. XD
I've been reading this, and very much like it! (All making me go to ff.net and search to see if it's updated... grumblegrumble.) Danny and Sam's relationship is quite cute, as they know it can't really work... you desrcibe it well. The kiss-and-fly-away scene was CUUUUTENESS in a jar. ^__^
It's so fustrating to see Sam read/do things and not get what's going on. She reads about the Box Ghost, but really has no reason to notice the mention of "Fenton", and has no idea who Penelope is. And she shouldn't. Still, the reader knows what's happening, and it's like "C'mooon... figure it ouuuut...".
Overall, very good and lovely. I only have two little complaints: Penelope obviously knows Danny. She mentions meeting him even at Spirit Week. Then she tells Sam he did "all these horrific things in the past". Feeling drained and confused or not, I really would think you'd notice the discrepancy there. "I met you when you did this awful thing 60 years ago" kinda rings a small alarm bell. OH well, I'll just add it up to Sam's being so cunfuzzled at the moment.
Two! "Heeey, your sister Jazz is still alive and she knows all about you and interviewed you even if you don't remember it! Let's go fly there and talk to her right now! Just knock on her door and scare the living daylights out of a 70-year-old woman! Huzzah!" Again, this is odd but could be accounted for by teenage impulsiveness.
Keep wriiiiting, I hate cliffhangers! =p |
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 9:12 pm Post subject: |
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Fortunately, the first one is easy to explain. XD
Penelope wasn't actually around 60 years ago; she really did go to college with Sam's mom. The detail that she was killed at the age of 23 is one that hadn't actually made it back to Mrs. Manson (or to any readers other than the ones looking at this post XD).
However, there really was a "spirit week" attack - now that Danny remembers, he'll later recount it - in which the new therapist (Spectra of course) is leeching energy off the kids. He discovered it by chance, because previous to his memory lapse he was still doing the hero thing for quite some time. You'll notice how in the book, it mentions that Danny Fenton's ghost hasn't been seen since the 1960s...but Inviso-Bill had been stirring up his usual amount of trouble until about ten years previous to this story's setting. Thus, the incidents Penelope accuses Danny of don't actually take place during Danny's (original) generation, but in Sam's. I probably threw people off with that comment about Danny trying to kill Jazz.
You'll notice that Penelope didn't know who Sam's ghost companion was until he materialized...and since she never knew Danny Fenton by name, she only calls him by his ghost name at first. She expects a showdown, some bantering, something similar to the last time they met, about 10-15 years before (hence her comment about 'technology improving' in chapter 10), and probably for Danny to immediately inform Sam that she's a ghost, thus blowing her cover. Spectra's preparing for a fight. Instead she gets "Who are you, and how do you know me?"
Unfortunately for everyone else, Spectra really is versed in paranormal psychology. She knows that ghosts lose it after a while, recognizes that in Danny immediately, and quickly changes tactics so that he comes off as the bad guy.
Hope that explains it a bit. XD
As for the thing with asking Jazz...well, come on, they're desperate. XD I think that if I were in Dan's place, even if I didn't remember my sister, I'd put her into the "could be helpful even if she's old and senile" category. Wish I didn't have to put so much time between Danny/Sam but I had to eliminate the witnesses. XD _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
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Ginrei Net Savior
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 197 Location: In a really old house with silly internets.
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Posted: Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:25 pm Post subject: |
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Aaah, much more sense now.
And I'm all for them going to Jazz, but... I'd like, call her first. You know, give her fair warning that you're coming? Books never do this, though, so whatever you choose to do will be fine, I'm sure. |
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 12:09 am Post subject: |
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Chapter 11's up~. Looks like I solved the problem of them going to see Jazz. :P _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
avatar by caramell_dansen |
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Mega Man.EXE Net Savior
Age: 39 Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 196 Location: Unknown
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Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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Hello there, I see you right now! ^^
Anyway, just thought I would give a little review!
I am really enjoying your fan fic right now. For an alternate universe fan fic, this one is really good. The character developement is awesome and highly believeable. All the twists, turns and new plots cropping up keeps me comming back to read more! I know you meant for this to be a much smaller fan fic but if you keep on adding in all these new ideas, the story is only going to get larger and larger, not that I mind. ^_~ I predict around 20 chapters myself. Guess I will just wait and see what happens. Chapter 14 was amazing! I could see how much you really enjoyed writing this chapter, both literally(from a physical standpoint) and because I know you like the Danny/Sam paring. I cannot wait to read the next chapter and I know you will have fun writing it! Good luck with the story and there must be rootbeer floats! Hopefully you will get plenty of new readers and I hope the story turns out the way you want it to. I was glad to help you come up with a great ending for the fic!
By the way, Plantman's artwork for chapter 7 was absolutely gorgeous! _________________
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 9:48 am Post subject: |
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Chapters as far as 15 are posted. XP
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2865968/1/ _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:15 am Post subject: |
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16's up. *vows to start updating this topic more regularly* _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
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ElecmanEXE Net Agent
Joined: 23 Dec 2005 Posts: 252
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:17 am Post subject: |
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zomg j00 r t3h aw3s0m3z!!!
*glomps Izu* |
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 2:23 am Post subject: |
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Chapters through 22 are up. _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
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Izumi darenimo wakaranai
Age: 41 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1002331 Location: Osaka
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Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:21 am Post subject: |
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The story's complete. o/ Thanks for reading, anyone who did~ _________________ One of the three EXE sisters! *Armstrong-style pose*
avatar by caramell_dansen |
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