Megaman X Satire

[Tabby]

Posting this for a friend. A friend known as Jace. Please, he asks this fanfic be posted no where else without his permission please. thank you.

"My workplace is unique in it's boringness. There is, quite literally, nothing to do on some days. As much fun as it sounds to sit and be paid to do nothing, nothing is a bit of a bore, so things should be done.

I am not a fanboy. I don't particularly care for Megaman games, from any of the series. They strike me as placed in an uninteresting, one-sided (or, rather, two-dimensional if the pun is necessary) universe, with little to no paletteable plot, not to mention contradictory and pointless characters (i.e., unlockable characters in their own games, or a total inability to decide whether or not they're dead this time (I'm looking at youuuuu, Zero).) and most annoyingly of all, Alia.

Then again, that is both my opinion, and fairly far from the purpose of the topic, so let's save the 'OMG, HOW COULD U SAY THAT!?!?' for private messages, shall we?

Suffice it to say that when I tell you that work had me so bored that I decided to write a short fiction regarding this series which I couldn't care less about, I want you to understand my full meaning.

A conversation with Subvocal and Synchro prompted me for the idea of a rather interesting scenario, a 'Maverick Invasion between Maverick Invasions', that don't warrant their own games, starring a cast of several mavericks who are incredibly dysfunctional in very different ways. Below is the first scene (chapter?).

I'd like some constructive criticism, related to the style of humor or writing. I'd also like recommendations on whether or not to continue writing this on my spare time. I know of a website that would like to post it, should I finish it, but I don't know that I want to spend this much time in pursuit of the project.

So, any comments are appreciated, if you can stand to make them useful. If you're not going to throw at least one "I think... because" clause, do me the charity of not posting.

Thanks.

---------

The cold, dank interior of the sunken building seemed to tremor with anxiety as the Maverick Hunter, X, traversed its hallways. He crept through the darkness, bending his legs at the knees, and arching his back, staying low. The tip of his buster still glowed faintly, as a reminder of all that X had faced to make it this far into a Maverick’s den. The inside of the building appeared to have been painted black, and curtains of the same hue were hung over windowless walls. Every so many meters, a lonely candle burned, shedding limited light on the occasional poster of a young human boy with long hair and a guitar, or some poetic image of a frozen rose.

X had been the leader on every maverick hunt since the formation of the unit, but he’d never seen maverick activity like this. All of the minions and robots up to this point had been draped in black, with a small, silver tear painted just below the right eye. The aura of sorrow seemed smotheringly powerful, and gave X an overwhelming sense of apprehension, and anxiety. He gripped his buster arm tightly, ready to swing around and orient on any malicious reploid that may balk him further.

He approached large, black, double doors outlined only by a very faint flickering from a small candle on the floor to either side. He reached up gently and pushed on the door, and it gave way into a room with an ungreased squeal of protest. Inside, the light from a single monitor silhouetted a small but slender form. Two thick legs extended upwards into a round, stout body, and a long slender neck rose out of it into a small head, with a beak. It appeared to be an ostrich, but was significantly smaller. He oriented his buster on the head, and crept closer.

“Freeze!” X shouted, as he neared the maverick.

The maverick exhaled, sighing.

“Identify yourself,” the hunter demanded, in an authoritative voice.

“Alllriiiiight,” came the drawn out, sad reply. The lights flicked on, and the maverick turned to him.

“… I don’t recognize you.” X said, confused. This certainly wasn’t in his briefing! “What is your name?”

“You don’t want to know.” The maverick groaned. “No one wants to know who I am. I don’t have a single friend,” it said, whining.

“Out with it!” X shouted.

The maverick sighed. “I am Emo Emu,” he said boredly, raising his wings a bit in a half-hearted attempt to have a cool maverick pose.

“… Em--… what?” X said, trying to reprocess the name that had frozen his circuits for just a second.

“Emo Emu,” the maverick said, clarifying it’s identification.

“I--…” X said, trying in vain to find the proper response. He shrugged.

“That’s okay.” The maverick said, solemnly. “No one’s ever heard of me.”

X focused, and reoriented his buster. “Give up, Maverick. There’s nowhere to run!”

“Ehhh… okay,” the maverick said.

“I see. If we must fight, then I suppose I have no--… wait, what?” he asked, doing a double-take.

“I don’t care anymore,” the emu whined. “I don’t care about anything.”

X was taken aback by this behavior. “Well, I mean, aren’t you suppose to… I don’t know… kill me or something?”

“I don’t have the motivation,” he complained.

An eyebrow raised on X’s expression. “The motivation?”

“No… I don’t want to do anything anymore. Not since my girlfriend left me.”

Suddenly, it dawned on the hunter. It was attacking. His eyes grew wide in terror. “OH NO.”

“She never really loved me,” he explained, sadly. “She ran off with my best friend, who could never love her the way I could. So I started a band.” X’s eyes were growing very heavy, and drool bubbled out from between his lips. He tried with all of his might to maintain his focus, but the story was so pathetic and boring that he simply couldn’t resist. “We never really took off, though. I had a guitar, but I couldn’t play it with these wings. An octopod maverick had a really cool keyboard, but he couldn’t play it either, and all of the demo beats went too fast for us to write lyrics to.” He sighed. “Our lead singer stole my microphone. Everyone is always taking things from me.”

X fell over backwards, releasing a loud snore.

Emo Emu looked down and sighed. “No one ever listens to me. No one ever takes me seriously. I get so sad sometimes.”

“Can you hear me, X?” a piercingly annoying female voice barked into X’s ear.

“SNRK-! Augh… ugh. Alia? Is that you?” he asked, his sleep disrupted.
“Yes, X. Are you okay? I was watching the monitors, and you were taking damage!” she cried, emotionally.

“It’s okay, I’m alright.” X said, before blinking, and replying. “… I wasn’t taking damage.”

“Oh,” she said. “Umm, it must have been some other monitor.”

X rolled his eyes. “Solitaire doesn’t have a monitor.”

Silence dominated the radio waves for several seconds. “You don’t have a camera installed up here, do you?”

“No.”

“… because I’m not playing solitaire.”

“Yes. Yes you are.”

“I think Axl messed up the carpet again. I’m going to go put him outside.”

“You do that,” X grumbled.

Emo Emu looked at X as he got up. “Was that your girlfriend? Everyone has a girlfriend but me. My girlfriend left me.”

“OH NO, YOU DON’T!!!” X roared, orienting the buster on the stubby body of the emu maverick and unleashing a volley of superheated plasma. The maverick took the brunt of the shot and went flying into the rear wall, exuding an offended “OW!” as he impacted, and lying limp on the ground.

X walked over to the fallen maverick, as a loud an obnoxious voice cued in, with a very important announcement.

“WEAPON GET!!!” it declared. X had obtained a new power from his defeated (albeit whiney) foe. “EMO TEAR, ANOTHER USELESS WATER WEAPON!” it shouted.

X looked up. “Do you have to yell?”

“YES.”

Grumble. “Fine, just… go somewhere else.”

“oooOOOoooh,” came a familiarly whining voice from the body of the maverick. “Now you’re taking things from me too.”

--------------------------------------------------

Moments later, X had re-emerged on the surface, dragging the battered and severed neck and head of Emo Emu behind him, mumbling something inaudible and probably profane.


Any thoughts?

Edit: As a side note, please don't post this anywhere else.
_________________

One of the three EXE Sisters! *poses with Ryouko and Izumi in the cherry blossoms*

[Tabby]

Posting this for a friend. A friend known as Jace. Please, he asks this fanfic be posted no where else without his permission please. thank you.

"My workplace is unique in it's boringness. There is, quite literally, nothing to do on some days. As much fun as it sounds to sit and be paid to do nothing, nothing is a bit of a bore, so things should be done.

I am not a fanboy. I don't particularly care for Megaman games, from any of the series. They strike me as placed in an uninteresting, one-sided (or, rather, two-dimensional if the pun is necessary) universe, with little to no paletteable plot, not to mention contradictory and pointless characters (i.e., unlockable characters in their own games, or a total inability to decide whether or not they're dead this time (I'm looking at youuuuu, Zero).) and most annoyingly of all, Alia.

Then again, that is both my opinion, and fairly far from the purpose of the topic, so let's save the 'OMG, HOW COULD U SAY THAT!?!?' for private messages, shall we?

Suffice it to say that when I tell you that work had me so bored that I decided to write a short fiction regarding this series which I couldn't care less about, I want you to understand my full meaning.

A conversation with Subvocal and Synchro prompted me for the idea of a rather interesting scenario, a 'Maverick Invasion between Maverick Invasions', that don't warrant their own games, starring a cast of several mavericks who are incredibly dysfunctional in very different ways. Below is the first scene (chapter?).

I'd like some constructive criticism, related to the style of humor or writing. I'd also like recommendations on whether or not to continue writing this on my spare time. I know of a website that would like to post it, should I finish it, but I don't know that I want to spend this much time in pursuit of the project.

So, any comments are appreciated, if you can stand to make them useful. If you're not going to throw at least one "I think... because" clause, do me the charity of not posting.

Thanks.

---------

The cold, dank interior of the sunken building seemed to tremor with anxiety as the Maverick Hunter, X, traversed its hallways. He crept through the darkness, bending his legs at the knees, and arching his back, staying low. The tip of his buster still glowed faintly, as a reminder of all that X had faced to make it this far into a Maverick’s den. The inside of the building appeared to have been painted black, and curtains of the same hue were hung over windowless walls. Every so many meters, a lonely candle burned, shedding limited light on the occasional poster of a young human boy with long hair and a guitar, or some poetic image of a frozen rose.

X had been the leader on every maverick hunt since the formation of the unit, but he’d never seen maverick activity like this. All of the minions and robots up to this point had been draped in black, with a small, silver tear painted just below the right eye. The aura of sorrow seemed smotheringly powerful, and gave X an overwhelming sense of apprehension, and anxiety. He gripped his buster arm tightly, ready to swing around and orient on any malicious reploid that may balk him further.

He approached large, black, double doors outlined only by a very faint flickering from a small candle on the floor to either side. He reached up gently and pushed on the door, and it gave way into a room with an ungreased squeal of protest. Inside, the light from a single monitor silhouetted a small but slender form. Two thick legs extended upwards into a round, stout body, and a long slender neck rose out of it into a small head, with a beak. It appeared to be an ostrich, but was significantly smaller. He oriented his buster on the head, and crept closer.

“Freeze!” X shouted, as he neared the maverick.

The maverick exhaled, sighing.

“Identify yourself,” the hunter demanded, in an authoritative voice.

“Alllriiiiight,” came the drawn out, sad reply. The lights flicked on, and the maverick turned to him.

“… I don’t recognize you.” X said, confused. This certainly wasn’t in his briefing! “What is your name?”

“You don’t want to know.” The maverick groaned. “No one wants to know who I am. I don’t have a single friend,” it said, whining.

“Out with it!” X shouted.

The maverick sighed. “I am Emo Emu,” he said boredly, raising his wings a bit in a half-hearted attempt to have a cool maverick pose.

“… Em--… what?” X said, trying to reprocess the name that had frozen his circuits for just a second.

“Emo Emu,” the maverick said, clarifying it’s identification.

“I--…” X said, trying in vain to find the proper response. He shrugged.

“That’s okay.” The maverick said, solemnly. “No one’s ever heard of me.”

X focused, and reoriented his buster. “Give up, Maverick. There’s nowhere to run!”

“Ehhh… okay,” the maverick said.

“I see. If we must fight, then I suppose I have no--… wait, what?” he asked, doing a double-take.

“I don’t care anymore,” the emu whined. “I don’t care about anything.”

X was taken aback by this behavior. “Well, I mean, aren’t you suppose to… I don’t know… kill me or something?”

“I don’t have the motivation,” he complained.

An eyebrow raised on X’s expression. “The motivation?”

“No… I don’t want to do anything anymore. Not since my girlfriend left me.”

Suddenly, it dawned on the hunter. It was attacking. His eyes grew wide in terror. “OH NO.”

“She never really loved me,” he explained, sadly. “She ran off with my best friend, who could never love her the way I could. So I started a band.” X’s eyes were growing very heavy, and drool bubbled out from between his lips. He tried with all of his might to maintain his focus, but the story was so pathetic and boring that he simply couldn’t resist. “We never really took off, though. I had a guitar, but I couldn’t play it with these wings. An octopod maverick had a really cool keyboard, but he couldn’t play it either, and all of the demo beats went too fast for us to write lyrics to.” He sighed. “Our lead singer stole my microphone. Everyone is always taking things from me.”

X fell over backwards, releasing a loud snore.

Emo Emu looked down and sighed. “No one ever listens to me. No one ever takes me seriously. I get so sad sometimes.”

“Can you hear me, X?” a piercingly annoying female voice barked into X’s ear.

“SNRK-! Augh… ugh. Alia? Is that you?” he asked, his sleep disrupted.
“Yes, X. Are you okay? I was watching the monitors, and you were taking damage!” she cried, emotionally.

“It’s okay, I’m alright.” X said, before blinking, and replying. “… I wasn’t taking damage.”

“Oh,” she said. “Umm, it must have been some other monitor.”

X rolled his eyes. “Solitaire doesn’t have a monitor.”

Silence dominated the radio waves for several seconds. “You don’t have a camera installed up here, do you?”

“No.”

“… because I’m not playing solitaire.”

“Yes. Yes you are.”

“I think Axl messed up the carpet again. I’m going to go put him outside.”

“You do that,” X grumbled.

Emo Emu looked at X as he got up. “Was that your girlfriend? Everyone has a girlfriend but me. My girlfriend left me.”

“OH NO, YOU DON’T!!!” X roared, orienting the buster on the stubby body of the emu maverick and unleashing a volley of superheated plasma. The maverick took the brunt of the shot and went flying into the rear wall, exuding an offended “OW!” as he impacted, and lying limp on the ground.

X walked over to the fallen maverick, as a loud an obnoxious voice cued in, with a very important announcement.

“WEAPON GET!!!” it declared. X had obtained a new power from his defeated (albeit whiney) foe. “EMO TEAR, ANOTHER USELESS WATER WEAPON!” it shouted.

X looked up. “Do you have to yell?”

“YES.”

Grumble. “Fine, just… go somewhere else.”

“oooOOOoooh,” came a familiarly whining voice from the body of the maverick. “Now you’re taking things from me too.”

--------------------------------------------------

Moments later, X had re-emerged on the surface, dragging the battered and severed neck and head of Emo Emu behind him, mumbling something inaudible and probably profane.


Any thoughts?

Edit: As a side note, please don't post this anywhere else.
_________________

One of the three EXE Sisters! *poses with Ryouko and Izumi in the cherry blossoms*

[Sol]

*snickers*

Man, Emo Emu? Classic.

Okay, CC...the only thing that I find kinda off is the first paragraph where you describe what X is doing. It seems a bit overdone, and I think that just saying 'he crept through the darkness' would have the same effect, since it gives the reader an image of X doing what you described. It may just be me, but I just find overdescribing a single action is a bit monotonous.

But other than that, I really liked it. It's a very funny satrical piece, in my opinion. I would like to see you write more of it.
_________________


<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[Sol]

*snickers*

Man, Emo Emu? Classic.

Okay, CC...the only thing that I find kinda off is the first paragraph where you describe what X is doing. It seems a bit overdone, and I think that just saying 'he crept through the darkness' would have the same effect, since it gives the reader an image of X doing what you described. It may just be me, but I just find overdescribing a single action is a bit monotonous.

But other than that, I really liked it. It's a very funny satrical piece, in my opinion. I would like to see you write more of it.
_________________


<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[MilesTailsPrower-007]

Ahahahaha! XD

Wow! I love the Emo Emu. That's the most awesome idea for a character ever. Gotta love his whiny angsty attitude! Well written. Heh, I love the way you poke fun at the annoying stuff.
_________________
- Sage

[Mugen.exe]

Very funny! Especially the part about having to clean up after Axl. I wonder what the next maverick will be. I can't wait to read more.
_________________

False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP

[Mari]

I'd assume 'you' = Jace, Sol >.> anyway. It's missing the OT warning, but it does say Megaman X anyway...

To Jace, whom I'm too lazy to rely this message over AIM: I like the way the story unfolded. The writing isn't bad, as expected from you, but I have to admit I was kind of expecting something lenghtier. Nevertheless, good job and I hope to see a continuation of this.
_________________

Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome.

[Mari]

I'd assume 'you' = Jace, Sol >.> anyway. It's missing the OT warning, but it does say Megaman X anyway...

To Jace, whom I'm too lazy to rely this message over AIM: I like the way the story unfolded. The writing isn't bad, as expected from you, but I have to admit I was kind of expecting something lenghtier. Nevertheless, good job and I hope to see a continuation of this.
_________________

Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome.

[Sol]

Yeah, the 'you' is aimed towards Jace, under the assumption that he's reading these posts.
_________________


<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[Sol]

Yeah, the 'you' is aimed towards Jace, under the assumption that he's reading these posts.
_________________


<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[Tabby]

He's writting chapter two, slowly. Should be out soon.
_________________

One of the three EXE Sisters! *poses with Ryouko and Izumi in the cherry blossoms*

[Tabby]

He's writting chapter two, slowly. Should be out soon.
_________________

One of the three EXE Sisters! *poses with Ryouko and Izumi in the cherry blossoms*