Cloud of Evil - Contest - PG - Violence (Stream Spoilers)

[ElecmanEXE]

Yup. I attempted to fanfic :O but unlike Middy, this would be my second fic ever so I don't have as much of an excuse. XD

The fic is centered on Slur and takes it also attempts to explain my theory on how she "obtained" Asteroid Napalmman. I'm not sure if I did it properly because it seems to me that I focused more on Napalmman than on Slur. X_X Don't you just hate it when seemingly awesome ideas mess you up? D: My original plan didn't include Napalmman, but the "awesome" idea slapped in the face with a trout until I surrenderred. >_< Well...Enjoy.

Cloud of Evil

“So this is what the Earthlings call ‘Internet City’” the asteroid navi mused to herself as she walked along the streets of the cyber domain. This is Internet City, the part of the cyberworld where all humans and navis alike meet and congregate. It is supposed to be the center of the cyberworld where peace and happiness reigns, and to further protect and extend that peace, the humans have made it so that it is impossible to use battle chips in the city without a special ‘Battlechip license.’

Pitiful. The humans and their navis believe that they are living in a world of harmony and peace and use things like Internet City and Net Saviors to support the illusion. It is all a facade to mask the true evil that controls this planet. Hidden in every corrupt civilization are the slums of the world. That is where the refuse of the world manifests itself and that it where Slur will find what she had set out to find.

There are always exceptions to the rule, which is why she’s out on this errand. There is always the possibility that a species can rid itself of its evil. Most other species did not have the potential to rid themselves of the evil they’ve caused themselves. But this planet was different. Planet Earth: It was a planet that seemed to have a lot of potential in living without evil. At least until she and Duo-sama arrived. It reminds her of the home she had left behind many years ago. It was hard for her to leave it behind, but she had a job to do. She’s doing this for the sake of her people who were defeated by evil forces, and for the sake of the rest of the universe. All evil must be destoryed. As much as she wanted to brood on the matter, she had mission to carry out. Duo-sama has given her the task of obtaining enough power to destroy the great evil on the Earth. But for now, her current mission is to test the true nature of these humans and their navis and so far, most of the subjects have failed their tests. Only a couple, like the operator of Asteroid Stoneman.EXE, seem to have realized their faults and tried to stop the punishment the Asteroid navis were giving out, but also, for some unknown reason, a couple of certain children seem to have been able to defeat each and every one of the challenges she had sent to the world. Some of them, such as Asteroid Beastman.EXE, have managed to survive, but most of the others weren’t as lucky. There is some hope for these humans and their pitiful navis but that’s something only time could tell.

Slur kept on walking through the crowds of Internet City towards the dark side of the city. As she went on, she saw less and less navis, but not surprisingly, the ones she could see in this part of Internet City seem to become more darker, and shady compared to the happy-faced bunch from the city’s square. The navis all gleered and stared at her as she walked down the street. Some groups looked up from their card games, some crawled out from the alleys, and some just stared at her regardless of what they were doing. Slur frowned as she passed them all. She seems to be attracting too much attention from this riff-raff. They had better not mess with her or she’ll make sure that they’ll see if navis go to Heaven or Hell. After a while, she found what she was looking for, the entrance to the evil of the whole of the Terran cyberworld: the Undernet. It was hard to spot as first, obviously because of the Net Police and such, but she was able to detect the dark energies that seeped from the maw of doom.

Just then, a sleazy looking navi walked out from the shadows and approached her.

“Hey, hot stuffs! What’s a cute looking navi like you doing in this part of Internet City? Are you lost? Do you need help to get to the nearest cyber-mall? Let me lend you a hand. Well...That is, if I had one. Hahahaha~!”

“I am not lost, pathetic Earth navi. Do not disturb me or else you shall pay the consequences.”

“Who’re you calling pathetic? Why you little bitch, looks like you need to be taught a lesson! Boys!” The sleazy navi tapped his two arms together and beckoned to the shadows. From all around, HeelNavis came out of the shadows and faced Slur.

“Well, Ms. Fireworks, we’re going to teach you a lesson you’ll never forget! And who knows? We might have some pleasure time after this. Hehehe...”

Slur was just on the verge of exploding and wiping the entire Earth cyberworld as one would know it! Look at her! Just a few minutes ago, she was actually thinking that these animals had any hope in the future! These navis do not deserve to live.

As the HeelNavis circled her, Slur let out several electrical wires out from her sleeves. She got them to form a sword frame each and grasped them as soon as they materialized. Ahh, it’s been some time since she got to destroy something, and these navis reek of dark energy that needs to be deleted. She looked around. One, two, three...there are about seventeen of them and each of them are dumbfounded at her swords.

“Ohhh~~ Looks like we have the Asteroid commander Slur.EXE on our doorstep. Let’s show her our welcome to planet Earth! ATTACK!!!!”
The entire group jumped towards the asteroid navi. She stood there waiting for them to come within range.

“We got you now!!!” The HeelNavis were right over her when suddenly...there was a brilliant flash of light. Slur crouched down and sprang up with a great burst of speed. They never knew what hit them. The navis let out screams of pain and terror as Slur slashed each and every one of them. The HeelNavis fell down to the ground and moaned in extreme pain as their wounds leaked important data clusters. Slur got up and looked at the leader. He was obviously flustered and the death of his comrades and/or lackeys obviously didn’t faze him. Letting out a loud battlecry, he aimed the humongous guns he used for arms and with the cannon on his head, he started to rain a torrent of napalms and bullets upon Slur. Slur held up her two arms to deflect the oncoming bullets and jumped as the napalms started arriving. She smirked. He has battle potential. Maybe...just maybe...

“Stop moving so I can shoot you! I won’t forgive you for what you did to my boys!”

Interesting, very interesting...This scum of the Internet seems to have cared about his lackeys. But why fight? He’s obviously going to lose. But still, he seems to be fighting for his fallen comrades, and if something like that is in a criminal like him, then MAYBE, just MAYBE, there might be hope after all...She never got to finish the thought because of another entourage of bullets. Time to finish this...

“RAAAAAAAA-AUGH!!!!”

Slur jumped off of a building wall and sliced the navi’s arms off. The navi screamed as his arms fell off and disintegrated. Grunting, he ran into the link portal to the Undernet. Slur followed right after him.

The UnderNet was a dark place where all notions of discipline, honor, and happiness do not exist. The place is a haven for criminals, discarded data, viruses, and other refuse of the cyberworld.

“EAT THIS!!!” Slur ducked and dodged a barrage of bombs that hailed down upon her. Why is he still fighting? He knows he’s going to be deleted by her hand, but why fight? Is it because of desperation? Fear? Pride? Regardless, she will delete this scum and return to her assignment.
She caught one of the missiles and threw it straight back. Bullseye.
The navi sat there watching the Asteroid navi walk towards him. Heh, he’s going to die; again. Slur slowly walked towards him as he tried to get up but the lack of limbs made it hard so, he tried to crawl away from her but in the end, she cornered him. She held a sword edge under the navi’s chin, got him to stand up, and drew back her sword. He flinched. This is it. ‘I failed my home country once and I’ve failed my boys. Maybe if I die this time, I would stay dead.’ After a minute, nothing had happened yet, so he opened his eyes. The Asteroid navi was looking at him.

“You. What’s your name?”

“Napalmman.EXE”

“Who is your operator?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Hmm? Why’s that?”

“I am the recollection of the fragmented data of my original self as a covert agent working for the country of Darkland. Some call me a ghost.”

“So, tell me. What are you doing around the UnderNet when you have an operator to return to?” Slur asked.

“Because my previous life had no meaning. Before, I was a low-rank navi whose purpose to live was only to destroy things. After I was defeated by Rockman and came to, I decided to leave all that behind. I wanted to become better! And more powerful! And maybe defeat that Rockman! If the world was against me, I was going to become better than all! So, I decided to gather followers for my cause. We might have looked shady, but we worked within the law. We turned over a new leaf. We were going to break free from the slums and live in the light. At least until you Asteroids came along. You attacked and destroyed everything! Everything we worked for was taken away on the day you attacked the planet! Do you know what Forte did to our group since that fateful day?! DO YOU?! You’ve made everybody miserable! You disrupted the peace that had settled in the world and you say you’re here to destroy all evil? HAH! Give me a break! You’re the one who’s evil! GRrrrr....And you’ve killed my boys. Now I have nothing else to live for, it’s all gone. At least I died fighting. Kill me now.”

This was surprising, a navi that changed from being evil to good. And all of this time, she thought that she was doing the entire Earth a favor with these tests. She never realized that she of all people could be accused of being evil...That can’t be right...She’s only doing this because she has to; she needs to get rid of all evil but if she’s evil herself, how can she carry out her duty?! She’s going to need power, a lot of it. With power, one can do anything, even destroy evil. She needs more power and to do so, she would need an army of navis who can do some of the grunt work. Napalmman can be the first.

“Napalmman, was it?”

“Kill me now. End my humiliation!”

“What would you say if I get you a new operator and give you new power. Specifically, Duo’s power?”

“An operator? Power? How? Why?”

“Because I am not evil as you say I am. With a new operator, and new power, you can restart anew and become stronger. Maybe even stronger to defeat Rockman.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t kid. Yes, or no?”

“Count me in! When do I start?”

“Now.” With a flash of light, Slur beamed Napalmman into the comet for repairs.

She’ll give the Earthlings a few more chances before she starts Plan B. They’d better be ready.

Slur smiled. She’ll make everything right. They’ll see. Maybe even Duo-sama would recognize her acheivements. She woke up from her thoughts as the smoke from the battle lifted and a small light beam shone from the portal. “Let’s hope the clouds part from this planet” she said to herself and plugged out.

[Mugen.exe]

Interesting one-shot. Slur's characterization towards the end was pretty unique (I've never heard her thoughts put that way). Napalmman was pretty heroic, and the fic was fairly well-written. I said fairly... the first 3 paragraphs had Slur being a little too omniscient (or is it omnipotent?), and thinking a lot. That isn't bad, but parts of the thinking process did seem a little forced. Also bits of the fic seemed to have tense issues. Oh well, aside from those little matters this was an entertaining read, and was well-written.
Good work!
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False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP

[Kitty-Chan]

I really enjoyed how you portrayed Slur & Napalmman. You have talent.
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[ElecmanEXE]

Thanks for the reviews~ \o/

[Midnight]

Hmm...

This was good. I very much enjoyed how you got captured Slur and Napalmman, especially with the whole "evil is relative" motif. And yeah, I can see what you mean with ideas--how one good idea can lead to another, and often trying to combine the two makes for a difficult read. I do have to concur--it seemed that part of Slur's reasoning seemed a bit...too righteous and didn't seem like it would flow naturally. Nevertheless, I liked reading this, and it was a worthwhile read.

[ElecmanEXE]

Uploaded to FF.net!!!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2947826/1/

Tell your friends! \o/