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TheWebbuilder
I support Rhythm x Blues!
Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 1124
Location: I don't know... But I hear laughing.
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 Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 5:56 am Post subject: Cafe Rock. ([G] Lotsa insanity.) |
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| Quote: | <Web> This is weird... I took some allergy pills last night, can't remember much of what happened after that, and there's this wonked-out fic (even by my standards) sitting on my hard drive that I have no memory of writing. ._.
* Neko-chan is now known as Neko|School
<Neko|School> Happens to me all the time
<Air|2Panther|Out> MMmm DrugS!
<Web> Heh... well, it's a first for me. So... |
Yeah, that pretty much sums this entire mess up, but I figured what the hey, a few people around here'll get a kick out of it. I did snip a few lines out of this that were private jokes, and tone down 'Web' some, but for the most part it's intact. Enjoy, but beware the crack/insanity/whatever. And I warn you ahead of time, I offer no explanation or apology for this monstrosity.
Also, I'm guessing that Tam and For-tee represent my younger brothers, and Rickerita is my younger sister, but I'm not entirely sure... for whatever that's worth.
Begin...
“Don’t make me come back there!”
“I‘d like to see you do better!”
A small, light pink, dog-like, pop-up virus turned and shot a look at the back of the café where a light brown camo-Met from RockMan X4 was squabbling with a blue and yellow Legends series ServBot. The ServBot was frantically working the grill, trying to get the device to fire up and stay fired up. The Met was dancing and bouncing along the front counter, reveling in the annoyance he was causing the yellow robot.
“Those two are such dingbats.” The Rush-look-a-like muttered.
“Hey, I resemble that remark!” A red and black mechanical bat dropped a wire basket on the table beside the virus and perched atop it. He was a Bubble Bat, a relic from the very first RockMan series. “Can‘t you come up with some other insult for those two, Rickerita?”
“Tam, if the shoe fits...” Rickerita, the dog-virus, replied.
Tam blinked in bewilderment and looked down at his small foot. “Uh… I don‘t wear shoes.”
For a split-second, Rickerita was tempted to smack her serving tray upside the Bat’s head. Sometimes his dense nature got on her nerves.
“Whatever,” The dog sighed and dropped through a plot-hole on the floor. Rickerita then dropped through the hole to warp around time and space to reappear behind the Met’s counter.
“Web, get your act together.” Rickerita followed through with her earlier impulse and bonked the Met over the head with her tray. “You‘re supposed to be minding the counter, not badgering For-tee about the oven.”
The Met grimaced and shook his head fiercely, the Mettool equivalent of rubbing a bruise.
“I got it, I got it…”
“Good, now don‘t forget it. We‘re opening up in a few minutes and when we do, I don‘t want things to be pure chaos.”
“Right, the pure chaos can‘t start until the noon rush.”
Rickerita groaned and snatched up her tray to deliver another righteous bonking, but the object of her annoyance was already bounding across the counter and back to the register. The virus sighed, this was going to be a long day…
“Ding! Nine O‘clock!” For-tee’s voice rang out. “Café Rock is now open for business!”
Café Rock was fairly unusual as far as café’s go. Not only was it run by a ServBot; Mettool; Rush-virus and Bubble-Bat, which was unusual in and of itself, but all of it’s patrons, and the only patrons received, were characters from various RockMan games. No one questioned how such a thing was possible, it just was, and that was good enough for those who found themselves there. Neither grudges nor problems from the games carry over into the café, when the characters where in the café, their time was their own. And The characters’ character differed from their video game personas when they were on their own time.
Tam settled himself in behind the counter and waited. He cast his gaze over the teak-wood tables and cheery, off-white, painting-spotted walls, wondering who would be the first to show up today.
He didn’t have to wait long to find out, as it turned out RockMan.EXE was the first to enter the doorway. The digital hero’s normally upbeat attitude was gone, replaced with an angst-filled, down-and-out countenance that could force even CircusMan to frown.
RockMan.EXE slunk over to the counter, dropped into the first barstool available and propped his head up with his arms.
“A hard one, Web. I need it.”
“Wow… that bad?” The Met dropped down behind the counter. He reemerged moments later with a mug filled with a pungent liquid which he deposited in front of the Navi. “Kind of early, isn‘t it?”
“Not like I‘ve got anything better to do now.” RockMan.EXE threw his head back and downed a good portion of the vile liquid… he then dropped his mug back to the counter and began coughing and gagging fiercely.
“I guess that you’re bummed out about Inafune declaring your series over?” For-tee emerged from the kitchen and clambered up to the top of the stand.
RockMan.EXE didn’t reply, he just stared at his glass.
“Thought so.” The ServBot shrugged. “Hey, don‘t get all down and depressed on us! Look at me, the Legends series ended years ago, and I‘m not crying about it. Now I‘ve got time to do all of the things I‘ve always wanted to… Ya know, now that your series is over, you could even pop the question to Roll and settle down.”
“Right…” The Navi nodded without really comprehending.
Before that conversation could continue, a jingle sounded throughout the café to announce a new arrival. A group of four new arrivals entered the café, prompting For-tee to shriek and dive back into the kitchen in preparation of their orders.
Tam dropped from his perch on the ceiling and fluttered in the air before the newcomers.
“Heya, RockMan Zero!” The bat shrilled. “It‘s been a while since I‘ve seen you around here.”
RM Zero chuckled and then replied. “Sorry, pal. Being dead takes up a lot of time.”
“Sure, the day you die and stay dead is the day I eat Rickerita’s socks.” Tam snorted and turned his attention back to the other members of the party. “Ciel! How are you doing? Hey, Neige, how‘s the kids these days? Elipso! How’s the whole Cyber-Elf business treating you?”
“Can‘t complain,” the Elf chirped back.
“Alright then, ” Tam fluttered away, leading the group towards one of the many empty tables. “You know the drill, pick your menu, pick your poison, and then have a good time.”
As soon as the group was seated, Rickerita popped out of a plot-hole atop their table.
“Everybody want the usual?” The dog-virus barked. “Zero… Eggs, fried, sunny-side up, wedge of French Toast and a slice of baked ham?”
“Right.”
“Ciel, two cappuccinos and half a cow of cream, the blueberry pancake special and a side of bacon?”
“That‘s right.”
“Neige… I’m not even going to try, what miracle diet are you on this time?”
The reporter blushed as her companions laughed. Neige never gave the same order twice since she was always trying various diets. “I‘m doing something different today. I‘ll have an omelet and some grits.”
Rickerita raised an eyebrow in bewildered surprise, then scribbled down the order.
“And for the pipsqueak, a giant cookie and a chocolate milkshake.”
“Yes, but don‘t give him any sugar in any of it this time.” Zero held up a hand in warning. “Last time he got so wired up that he didn‘t stop pinballing around the base for days.”
Ciel snickered at the memories. “The look on Harpuia‘s face was priceless, though.”
“True…” Neige couldn’t help but smirk as well.
“Somebody want to clue me in here?” Rickerita gave a sharp bark to arrest the other’s attention. “What happened now?”
Zero picked up the explanation. “Last time we were here Elipso picked up such a sugar-high that he couldn‘t stop moving, he went rocketing around the base bouncing off of walls, furniture, boxes, you name it. So then… Harpuia shows up last week…”
The Hunter’s words were lost in the gales of laughter that followed.
“And he opens the door to the lab and walks in.” Ciel took up the story. “And Elipso bounces off the back wall and smacks right into Harpuia and sends him flying down the hallway, but Elipso just rebounds off and keeps going.
“It‘s not my fault that he stepped right into my path.” Elipso’s voice sounded extremely sheepish.
Rickerita tried to image the described scene and immediately exploded into laughter. The gales went on for almost half of a minute before the dog-virus recovered enough to dive back into the hole to deliver the order.
“Pick up the pace!” The dog popped out of the plot-hole and slapped the order onto the screen over For-tee’s head. “We’ve got a big order and there’s a heck of a lot more coming!”
“On it!” The ServBot whipped out his spatula and set to work.
* * * * *
A loud ringing sound issued from the counter, causing Web to bound the length of the counter and swing down underneath the table to the shelf below. The phone down there was ringing off the hook. The Met knocked the receiver off of it’s stand and spoke into the device.
“Café Rock, Web speaking.”
“Hey, Web… This is Roll… uh, is RockMan.EXE there?”
The Met dropped his voice to a barely audible level. “Yeah, he showed up as soon as we opening, he‘s got it bad.”
“Oh no… he‘s not-”
“Hitting the bottle?” The Met interrupted the question. “Yeah, he‘s doing the usual number.”
“Great…” Roll’s voice took on a tone of angered sarcasm. “I don‘t believe this… I‘m going to get GutsMan and we‘ll be down there to get him.”
“Good, and hurry it up, we‘re running out of lemon juice around here.”
* * * * *
“ORDER UP!” For-tee slapped the last of the sausage onto the plate and shoved the serving tray out of the kitchen window.
Tam shot across the restaurant and scooped up the tray with his clawed foot. A quick flutter carried him across the restaurant to the table where Zero and Ciel were sitting.
“Here we go!” The Bubble Bat dropped the tray on the table and began setting the dishes in front of their respective owners. “Fried eggs, French Toast and ham? Here ya go, Z. This has got to be yours Ciel, two cappuccinos and cream, pancakes with bacon? The grits and omelets for Neige and a sugarless cookie and non-sugar milkshake for the pinball.”
“The name‘s Elipso!” The elf squeaked.
“Right. Here‘s the check…” Tam plopped the receipt on the table. “And Zero, your tab‘s reached it‘s limit, you need to pay up before you leave.”
The Hunter’s face went white as he heard those words. “Uh… O.K.”
“Of course, I hear that For-tee needs a new dishwasher, if you can‘t pay it off…”
Zero’s face turned even paler.
“Well, enjoy your meal.” Tam smiled and fluttered off.
“Uh, Neige, Ciel…” Zero’s voice was low as he felt through his pockets. “I think that I left my wallet back at the base.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Neige shook her head in disbelief.
* * * * *
“PINBALL!!”
Tam, Rickerita, and For-Tee snapped around to face the doorway as a shout broke through the doorway. Each one paled and then do began a frantic attempt to hide.
“Take cover!” Rickerita summoned a plot-hole and jumped inside as Tam rocketed up to the ceiling and hid behind a pair of rafters. For-tee dropped down behind the oven and curled up with his head tucked down between his knees.
No sooner had they hidden themselves and a blue and gray blur shot through the doorway, rebounded off of the side wall, bounced over Zero’s table, hit the back counter (narrowly missing the depressed RockMan.EXE), and shot back to a side corner where the pinball machine was located.
The blur came to a stop, revealing itself to be Axl. The Reploid dug through his pockets, pulled out a set of coins, deposited them in the game and began trying to manipulate the little ball bearing through the maze of obstacles.
“Is it safe?” Tam poked his head out from the rafters.
“Looks like it.” For-tee popped up from behind the oven. “At least he didn‘t break anything this time around.”
“That‘s better than last time.” Rickerita dropped out of her hole. “When he shattered a dozen dishes.”
“We‘ve got to talk to X about this…” Web hopped back up on top of the counter. “He‘s a menace to society right now.”
“Tell me about it.” The aforementioned RockMan dropped down onto a barstool. Apparently he had entered the café during Axl’s entrance. “You have no idea what he‘s like back at the base. If he doesn‘t get a round at the pinball machine every two or three hours he goes bonkers.”
“Really?” Tam dropped down next to the Reploid. “He sounds like he‘s addicted.”
“What was your first clue?” Web muttered.
“Yeah, he is. He just doesn‘t realize it yet.” X shrugged. “Ah well, hey, Rickerita. How about a cup of coffee?”
“Coming right up.” The dog-virus vanished into the kitchen and reemerged a minute later with a steaming mug and a plate of muffins. “I figured you‘d want the other half of your usual as well.”
“Thanks, I need a bran muffin.” X accepted the plate and cup.
“Hey, X!” RockMan Zero’s voice rang out and the red Hunter dropped down beside the blue Reploid.
“Zero,” X broke open one of his muffins. “How‘s the future treating you?”
“Eh, I got killed off in the last game.”
“Again?”
“Yeah, well, I’ve got a knack for it. But I figure that I‘ll make a return in the latest series, whatever it is.” The century old Hunter shrugged. “Anyway, now that my series is over, I‘ve got a lot of time on my hands…”
“Enough time to get a job so that you can pay back those loans I gave you?”
“Eh, yeah.” Zero shrugged nervously. “About that, I‘m in a spot here since-”
“No. I‘m not giving you another penny until you pay back what you owe.”
“Not even for old time‘s sake?”
“What part of ‘no‘ do you not understand?!” X shot his companion a look.
“Oh-kay… I got it.” Zero shrugged and slinked off.
X sighed and dropped his head to the countertop. “I‘m surrounded by dingbats.”
“I know the feeling.” Rickerita popped out of a hole and settled herself in next to X. “Sometimes I think that it‘s a miracle anything gets done around here.”
“HEY!” RockMan.EXE shouted, drawing just about everyone’s attention. “Another round!”
“You sure about this?” Web raised one eye ludicrously. “You keep going and-”
“I‘m sure! Just put it on my tab…”
“Whatever…” The Mettool filled another mug and kicked it down the length of the counter towards the digital hero.
RockMan.EXE stopped the drink, took a long swig, and then burst into a long monologue as he narrated the events of the first EXE game… for the fifteenth time in as many minutes.
“Are you sure you should let him drink so much?” X stared at the scene in disbelief. “He‘s really loosing it.”
“We know. But we can’t do anything about it ourselves…” For-tee waddled out of the kitchen. “Man, Roll and GutsMan are taking their sweet time getting here.”
* * * * *
“So… Axl…” RockMan Zero strode over to the pinball-obsessed Reploid. “Sorry that we couldn‘t get you into my series, but those are the breaks… how‘s life treating you?”
“Uh huh.” The gunslinger replied without taking his eyes off of the pinball table.
“How about your love life… are these rumors true?”
“Uh huh.” Axl’s focus was still glued to his game.
“Is the sky green?”
“Uh huh.”
Zero raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
“Do you sleep with a nightlight and stuffed Iris plush?”
“Uh huh.”
The Hunter couldn’t believe it, Axl was so engrossed in his game that he wasn’t paying a lick of attention to him. Maybe…
“Hey, Axl. You want to pay for our meal?”
“Uh huh.
“Sure about that?”
“Uh huh.”
“Sign here.” Zero whipped out their bill and a pencil and placed them on top of the pinball machine. Without so much as sparing a glance, Axl took one hand from the machine and scribbled his name out on the slip of paper.
“Thanks, Axl, you‘re a true friend.”
“Uh huh…”
* * * * *
“BLEH!!” Elipso gagged and recoiled from his soda straw. “Man, this stuff tastes terrible!”
“It‘s sugarless.” Ciel shrugged as she bit into a bite of pancake. “What else can you expect?”
“This isn‘t fair!” The Elf pouted. “I shouldn‘t be banned from sugar just because of one little accident!”
“Tell it to the judge.” Neige shrugged.
“Good news!” Zero vaulted across the table and crashed into his chair. “Our meal‘s taken care of. And we don‘t have to worry about it.”
“You actually went and paid for something!” Neige feigned surprise. “Wow! Stop the presses!”
“C‘mon, I‘m not that bad…” Zero shrugged and began working on his now-cold meal. “Sure I‘m a little stingy but…”
“Yeah, yeah… You‘re a bum.” Elipso interrupted. “We know… Can I pleeeeeeease have some sugar in this? Just a few packets?”
“NO!” The two humans and single Reploid said in unison.
“Just a little? A few granules?”
“NO!”
“You guys are no fun…”
“You‘re only figuring this out now?” Zero looked hurt. “Man, I’ve really got to work on my ‘being-a-jerk‘ routine….”
* * * * *
“And… then… I-” RockMan.EXE slumped over and crashed headfirst into the counter, a loud snore issuing from his sinuses.
“Sheesh.” Web grumbled as he waddled over to the loaded Navi. “I was beginning to wonder how many more sleeping pills I‘d have to give him before he conked out.”
“Sleeping pills?” X looked up in bewilderment.
“Uh huh, we spiked the lemon juice. We had to shut him up somehow.”
“Lemon juice?”
“Yeah, do you really think we serve alcohol here?” For-tee shrugged and hopped off of the counter. “Serving beer in a café filled with video game characters is just asking for a lawsuit, and RockMan.EXE‘s underage to boot. All we‘ve been giving him these past few weeks is concentrated lemon juice.”
“You have?” X’s face took on a look of complete confusion.
“Yeah, smart huh?”
The Reploid shot a glance at Rickerita. “I think you‘re right about the dingbat idea.”
“Told you.”
“Hey, I resemble that remark!” Tam dropped from the ceiling down to the counter.
At that moment, the chimes sounded again. And Roll and GustMan entered the café. The two newcomers took one look at RockMan.EXE and rushed across the café towards their friend.
“RockMan‘s out cold, degutsu.” GutsMan noted. “He must have drank a lot.”
“Oh, he’ll think that everything tastes like citrus for a few months.” Rickerita commented. “But he hasn‘t had a drop of alcohol since he got here. Just take him home and he‘ll be fine.”
“No.” Roll shook her head. “We need to scare him into quitting drinking… so we‘re going to take him to Narcy‘s apartment and lock him in there. We‘re hoping that he‘ll freak out when he wakes up and swear off drinking for the rest of his natural life.”
“That‘s… one wonked out plan.” X shook his head. “And cruel at that… but if you think it‘ll work.”
“Hey, have you seen who‘s writing this fic? What other kind of plan would we have?”
“Good point, I withdrawal my objections.” X raised his mug of coffee as a toast for success and then downed the hot liquid.
* * * * *
“HEY!” Rickerita bounced off of the counter and rushed over to Zero’s table, who’s occupants were preparing to leave the establishment. “Hold up, you haven‘t paid your bill yet!”
“Yeah!” Tam flew over to join the dog virus. “You aren‘t leaving until you‘ve settled your accounts!”
“Relax.” Zero shrugged and pulled out a slip of paper. “See? Axl said that he‘d take care of it.”
Rickerita took the paper from the Reploid and studied it closely, then he sighed and passed the paper to Tam, who studied it closely. The Bubble Bat nodded and waved the trio off.
“Get out of here.” The Bat said, then he stopped and did a double-take. “Hey, aren‘t you missing the pinball?”
Ciel, Neige and Zero exchanged a quick look, and then they paled in unison. “Elipso…”
A series of indistinguishable shouts and shrieks erupted from the back kitchen, and then a purple cyber elf went flying out of control through the kitchen doors. Hot on the Elf’s trail was one very angry For-tee.
“Get back here you freeloader!!” The ServBot chased after Elipso, his fist shaking in mid-air with rage.
“NEVAH!” Elipso screamed back. “I REGRET NOTHING!!”
“What on earth?” Rickerita turned to look at the fiasco. “For-tee, what‘s wrong?”
“That blasted bug cleaned out our sugar reserves!” The ServBot broke off his pursuit to explain the situation. “I turn my back for one minute and he sneaks into the pantry and starts chowing down on our sugar!”
“Hey, I‘m an elf, not a bug!” Elipso shot back. “AnD I cOUldN‘t hElP IT, it wAs RigHt tHeRE, jUSt waITiNg to bE eAtEn… @nd… AnD… aNd…”
Ciel, Neige and Zero exchanged another look. “Uh oh…”
“Uh, Z.” Rickerita flipped open her notepad and began scribbling. “You do realize that we‘ll be adding this to your bill…”
“I think that that‘s the least of our worries.” Ciel grimaced. “I think we‘d better take cover!”
“What? Why?” Tam looked puzzled.
“SUGAR!!” Elipso screeched at the top of his lungs and exploded into motion. The elf shot through the air and smashed into the back wall, rebounding off he crashed into the ceiling and then flew into the back wall before pinging off into the front-left corner of the café.
“That‘s why!”
“ALRIGHT!!” Axl spun around to face the group and threw his hands skyward in celebration. “Score! There‘s a new high score in pin-!”
The redheaded Reploid’s jubilee was interrupted as Elipso smacked into his face. The Elf rebounded away without any effect, but Axl was flung backward from the impact, over the pinball table, and then into the back wall- hard.
“Ow.” X, Ciel, Zero, Neige, Web, Rickerita, Tam and For-tee grimaced in perfect unison for a split second- then Elipso smashed into the ground in front of them, sending them running for cover.
Rickerita and Tam vanished through a plot-hole, while For-tee, Web and X huddled down behind the front counter. Zero, Neige and Ciel found themselves pinned down behind an overturned table as Elipso continued rocketing around the restaurant, destroying tables, paintings, and putting craters in walls as he bounced crazily around the place.
“My stars.” X peeked over the counter, and then hastily ducked to avoid getting smacked in the face. The Reploid sensed something behind him, and turned around to find Axl quivering from fright.
“X,” The redhead Reploid’s voice cracked. “I‘m never touching a pinball machine again.”
The blue Reploid turned his gaze skyward and mouthed two words: “Thank you.”
After what seemed like an eternity, Elipso stopped bouncing around the place and collapsed to the floor. Although he was too drained to move, the Cyber Elf insisted on laughing and cackling, which was extremely unnerving to the other occupants of the café.
“Whew…” Neige breathed a sigh of relief. “I‘m glad that that‘s over with.”
“How much sugar did he have in him?” Ciel peeked out from behind their makeshift fort and took stock of the demolished restaurant. “He‘s never been that hyperactive before…”
“Who cares?” Zero glanced around and then began crawling towards the door. “Let‘s just get out of here before-”
“A-HEM!!”
The Hunter stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around to find a Bubble Bat, ServBot, Rush-virus and a Met behind him. And they were anything but happy.
“You do realize,” Web tapped his foot angrily. “That we‘ll be adding all of this to your bill.”
“And that you no longer qualify for the installment plan.” Tam noted.
“And that you have to pay up before you leave here.” For-tee piped up.
“Once we finished totaling the damage…” Rickerita scribbled a few things on her notepad, then turned it around for the Hunter to see. “we come up with this amount, on top of the tab that you already owe us.”
“I- uh, well…” Zero stuttered uncertainly as he looked at the ridiculously huge amount written out for him. “Ca- Can you take an I.O.U.?”
* * * * *
“Zero.” Ciel growled at the red Reploid.
“Uh… Yes?” The Hunter stopped just inside of the doorway, he had a bad feeling that he was going to need a quick exit. Ciel and Neige hadn’t been in the best of moods lately, and they seemed intent on taking their frustrations out on a certain blond-haired Reploid…
“I seriously hope that you stay dead this time.” The blond human grumbled as she turned her gaze back to the dishwasher before her.
“Eh… I doubt that. Inafune, he- YIPES!!”
The Crimson Warrior was forced to drop to the floor in order to avoid a round of flying china cups that were aimed at his head.
“I wouldn‘t push it.” Neige snapped angrily, “Or I might personally make sure that you stay dead.”
“We‘ll be adding those to your bill!” For-tee’s voice drifted into the back of the café.
That pronouncement forced Ciel and Neige to refocus their priorities, and to turn their attention back to their respective dishwashers.
“Well, look on the bright side.” Zero shrugged uneasily. “At least they‘re closed on Christmas…”
End.
*ducks rotten fruit.*
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Lan1220
Net Agent
Joined: 12 May 2005
Posts: 279
Location: Lurking in a dark corner of the forum.
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 7:57 am Post subject: |
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My god....this is one awesome fic XDD And you have no memory of writing this fic, you say? And Elipso is sugar high XDD This is ingenious! *continues laughing*
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Kitty-Chan
Net Police
Joined: 08 Jul 2005
Posts: 438
Location: Massillon, Ohio, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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 *cackles* Oh man, this is great! Are we going to have a continuation? It would be most amusing.
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)* |
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TheWebbuilder
I support Rhythm x Blues!
Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 1124
Location: I don't know... But I hear laughing.
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| Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 5:34 am Post subject: |
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Eh... I doubt it, unless something happens when I have to take more of that medicine and get stoned again. XD
Seriously, I don't intend to continue this... but that really doesn't mean much. It could happen, it might not... only time will tell.
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