Rockman.EXE: The College Years - Season 4 (T-M,Gen)SPOILERS

[TheWebbuilder]

Well... I have to say that overall this chapter felt dull.

Regarding the plot, I didn't feel like there was enough of it to justify the time I spent reading the fic. It felt weak, as there was nothing really clever or interesting about it to draw my interest as unmasking the real villian was no big deal. It had potential... but I don't feel like that potential was lived up to.

The combat likewise was kind of bland. Most of it was the standard fare, such as IllusionMan's GateMan-like-dodging-abilities to the protagonist picking out the real enemy through the casting of a shadow... which didn't really rachet up the excitement factor any.

There just wasn't anything here that made me want to keep reading the chapter. Overall, it just flopped with me.
_________________

[Midnight]

I concur with Web--this was a yawn.

As I could tell, you returned to using motifs and tactics that you've used before in your works. Things like reference to current events (the 'terror alert' gag) and the obviously mangled Yakov Smirnoff joke would work in this chapter, had it not been introduced at such poor timing. The villain is somewhat...boring. She seems far too skittish to actually be someone who would counter the protagoniststo any degree.

I'm also seeing the 'theme' of this arc. I'm not too sure if it'll work out. The same goes for combat this time, as most of the tactics were a yawn at best.

I agree with Web's assessment, though--this is a pretty boring chapter.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[SonicNigma212]

What you've put up is something that's pretty dull. I mean, first of all, the character is a bit panicky for when it comes to being caught with your hands in the cookie jar. From the way that you've managed to put up the characters, it seems good to me at first, but it was a bit on the dull side. The battle is good between both ProtoMan and IllusionMan. That is a good point. But it seems to me that it was a bit weak. But that's just me talking. Hopefully, things would start to pick up with the next chapter. Well, later and keep up the good work.

Maurice A. Nigma ^_^ :grr:

[Viewtiful Starman]

I gotta agree, the main events of the chapter that went on were a bit on the less interesting side... However, I don't think it was a bad idea.

I found Envy to be a really interesting character, but the plot you used her for would probably have worked much better as more of a mystery plot, with less focus on the fighting.

If you didn't have the scene giving her plot away right at the beginning and had Enzan and Blues have to work to track her down a bit, I think it would've gone a lot better.

However, you've done a really good job on creating an Envy themed character, I hope you keep it up with the last four sins.

[Anime Master ZERO]

CHAPTER 4-4
Blaze of Fury!

A few days after Dr. Green’s failure, the group of seven gathered in the dark computer room again. All of them stood dressed in their black hooded robes as they waited for their leader’s orders.

“The next mission is about to begin,” the voice announced, “One of you shall be selected for this task. Just like most of the others from the past, you greatest desires will be fulfilled. Wrath, step forward.” Upon command, one of the hooded figures stepped out of formation and approached the computer screen.

“Do you, Wrath, accept this mission?”

“I’ve been burning for it ever since I joined.” The one codenamed Wrath reached up and pulled off his hood, exposing fiery red hair and a maniacal grin on his face.

“I, Blaise Fury, former Dark Nation NetTerrorist, will make you proud. I will not fail you.”

* * *

It was Saturday, so there were no classes that day. Sean had decided to bring his PS2 out into the living and everyone sat together on the floor playing Battle Stadium D.O.N. Lan had picked Trunks, Maylu had chosen Nami, Sean was playing as Sanji, and Noah was Kakashi.

“Why do you keep doing the same move?” a somewhat irritated boy genius shouted accusingly at Lan.

“It’s a legitimate strategy,” the brunet argued.

“But it’s cheap!”

“It’s a legitimate strategy!” Lan repeated, “Try countering it.”

“My X button isn’t working.”

“Whatever, Noah.”

“Look, I’m pressing it! You can see me pressing it!”

In the end, it was Sean who won with Lan in second place, Maylu in third, and Noah in last.

“I lost so quickly,” the young prodigy sniffled. Lan sat down beside him and placed his arm over the boy’s bare shoulders.

“Come on, sport. Let’s see if we can’t cheer you up somehow.”

“We’re out of Smooth-eez,” Sean called from his room as he put his console away.

“Then I’ll get you an ice cream,” Lan said to Noah.

“It’s almost time for lunch,” Maylu reminded her boyfriend.

“Okay, I’ll buy you lunch then.”

“As long as we eat at MetDonald’s,” Sean interjected again as he came back out into the living room, “We have to use those coupons before they expire.”

“You know, it’d be a lot easier to comfort someone if I wasn’t being interrupted all the time,” Lan said as he glared at Sean.

“Okay, sorry.”

“What do you say, Noah?” asked Lan. Noah held his plushie in his arms and slowly looked up at Lan.

“I also want a MetFlurry.”

“Done.” Lan grabbed Noah’s short-sleeved jacket from its hook and handed it to him, “Get your shoes and jacket on and we can go.”

Approximately fifteen minutes later, the four friends were seated together in a booth at the campus MetDonald’s having lunch. Lan’s consisted of a Big Met combo with root beer, Maylu had a fish fillet with iced tea, Sean had the chicken MetNuggets and watered-down orange drink, and Noah enjoyed his cheeseburger Jolly Meal with orange drink and the MetFlurry Lan had promised him.

“You know Maylu, someday our lives will be just like this,” Lan said to his girlfriend, “Us taking our kids out to lunch.”

“Are you rambling on about the future again, Lan?” Sean asked, “You’ve still got a lot of time ahead of you.”

“Oh come on, Sean. Don’t you and Yai ever talk about what your future might be like?”

“Yeah, but we don’t ramble.”

“I wasn’t rambling.”

“Yes, you were.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.”

“No, I wasn’t. Noah, was I rambling?”

“Don’t get me involved in your arguments,” Noah answered before returning his attention to his food.

* * *

Blaise walked along the streets wearing his new attire provided by his new organization. His wardrobe consisted of a black muscle top, black pants with bright orange and yellow flame designs on them, a red leather jacket with flame designs all over it, fiery-orange shoes, and a silver chain around his neck from which hung a pendant shaped like a bear’s head. As he walked along, he took out his new red and orange flame-design Link PET and held it at the nearest jack-in sensor.

“Jack in!! ScorchMan, power up!” Blaise’s fiery NetNavi was deposited inside the system of the console he had been logged into and looked around.

“Now THIS is what it’s all about!” He hollered as his arms began to flare up, “Scorch Burner!” His upgraded weapon launched several enormous fireballs at the system’s control programs and blasted them into flaming smithereens on contact. In the real world, a large television screen the side of a building suddenly exploded.

“Now this is what I’ve been longing for!” Blaise cried out. Several police cars quickly pulled up and surrounded the pyromaniac and the officers got out with their guns drawn.

“FREEZE!” they commanded.

“BURN!” Blaise jacked out ScorchMan and sent him into the police cars’ computers, turning the vehicles into large bombs that blew the police officers to pieces. Once all the cars were gone, his Navi returned to his PET.

“All done, Blaise,” ScorchMan reported.

“So I noticed,” replied Blaise. He put his PET back into its holster on his thigh and resumed spreading terror to the streets.

* * *

After lunch, Lan, Maylu, Sean, and Noah decided to spend some time at a nearby mall. Sean and Noah had decided to stay at the arcade, leaving Lan and Maylu on their own.

“Well, looks like we’re alone again,” Lan noted as he placed his arm around Maylu. She smiled back at him before she spoke.

“So, is there anything you want to do?”

“Whatever you want,” Lan replied, “It’s entirely up to you.”

“Well, there are a few things I’d like to get,” Maylu said thoughtfully.

“Alright,” Lan answered with a laugh, “Just don’t go maxing out my credit card.”

Back at the arcade, Sean was about to beat his own first place high score on the latest Dance Dance Revolution game. Noah could only stand in awe as he watched his friend move his feet with incredible speed. A crowd had formed around the machine and everyone watched in anticipation, making guesses at whether or not Sean would be able to reach his goal. Before long, the grey-haired teen completed the song and waited for the results to appear on the screen.

“WHOO! Beat my high score!” Sean quickly entered his initials and watched as it appeared on the high score screen with his old score just underneath it. Satisfied with his accomplishment, he wiped off his sweat onto the towel he had brought with him and grabbed his jacket before walking over to Noah.

“Well, this would explain how you manage to stay in shape without doing any exercise or sports,” the white-haired boy said as the two of them left the arcade.

“You’d be surprised by what video game developers will come up with to get gamers more active,” Sean answered.

As the two were leaving, another person stepped onto the DDR pad. Just before they could put their money into the machine, however, the right pad exploded.

“I’m on fire!” a menacing voice shouted from the machine.

“Wait a second, I know that voice!” Sean ran back to the arcade and took out his PET, “Jack in!! Axl, power up!” A second later, Axl materialized inside the DDR machine. Everything was on fire, but there was no sign of the perpetrator.

“Looks like he escaped,” the redheaded Navi reported.

“Douse that fire, first. Then see if you can find a trail,” Sean instructed, “SeaSeed Battlechip in, download!” A blue seed appeared in Axl’s hands and he threw it into the center of the system, splashing water everywhere upon impact and extinguishing the flames. As soon as everything had cooled down, he lowered his visor and scanned the area. His sensors quickly found a large hole burned into a wall and he quickly shut off his scanners and ran through it only to be greeted by a blazing inferno that covered the entire area.

“HELP!” cried a Mr. Prog. Axl heard his cries and immediately ran over.

“What’s wrong?”

“A FIRE NAVI JUST RAN BY AND NOW THE WHOLE MALL COMP IS IN FLAMES!” the Mr. Prog replied. Axl looked across the burning system and saw ScorchMan standing on the other side surrounded by a wall of flames.

“Is there any way to get past these flames?” asked Axl.

“NO. THE FIRE IS TOO HOT. NOT EVEN WATER WILL PUT IT OUT.”

“What about carbon dioxide?”

“YES. THAT MIGHT WORK. THERE ARE EIGHT FIRE EXTINGUISHERS SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THIS AREA. FIND THEM AND USE THEM TO PUT OUT THE LARGE FIRES. BUT BE CAREFUL. THERE ARE TRAPS THAT WILL SHOOT FIRE AT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO PASS THEM.”

“Got it,” Axl replied in confirmation.

“Axl, I’m going to call for help,” Sean informed his Navi, “We’re going to need Lan’s help for this.”

“LAN?” bellowed ScorchMan, “As in Lan Hikari? Then that would mean that MegaMan is here, too. Bring MegaMan to me or I’ll turn this mall into one massive fire bomb!”

“He certainly gives new meaning to the phrase ‘burning with rage’,” Sean commented as he dialed up Lan on his autophone.

“Hello. This is Lan speaking.”

“Lan, it’s Sean. We’ve got a situation here.”

“Yeah, I noticed. It’s been getting increasingly hotter here. What’s going on?”

“Apparently our old enemy ScorchMan is behind all this. He wants to fight MegaMan. Jack into the nearest port and get onto the Mall Comp as soon as possible.”

“Got it. We’ll be there as soon as we can, Sean.” As Sean hung up, Lan held his PET up at the nearest jack-in sensor and beamed MegaMan in, “Jack in!! MegaMan, power up!”

* * *

MegaMan ran as fast as he could through the mall’s computer system until he arrived at the rendezvous point where he met up with Axl.

“Where is he?” the blue NetNavi asked.

“Over there,” Axl answered pointing to the farthest end of the Mall Comp. MegaMan looked in his direction.

“Yep, it’s him.”

“Anyway, according to Mr. Prog, we’re supposed to fight eight fire extinguishers to douse these flames,” Axl explained, relaying the information from the Mr. Prog to his blue friend.

“Well, it looks like there are two paths that head over there,” MegaMan noted, “both with one-way conveyor belts. Once we choose one, there’s no turning back.”

“Fine with me, MegaMan. I’ll take the left road.”

“And I’ll take the right.”

The two Navis knocked their forearms together before splitting up and heading down their chosen paths.

“Where is that first extinguisher?” MegaMan thought out loud as he ran across the burning system with his mouthguard up to protect his face from the heat. He turned a corner toward a dead end and spotted his goal in front him. He approached the extinguisher and placed a hand on it. As soon as he made contact with the device, several viruses popped out.

“Whoa! Viruses!”

Lan looked at the foes that stood before his Navi. They were all fire viruses: two OldHeaters and a Champy.

“Let’s hurry up and delete these guys,” he said, “AquaNeedle1 Battlechip in, download!” MegaMan held up his hand and three spikes shot down from the sky and impaled each of the viruses, deleting them instantly. With his path now clear, MegaMan grabbed the fire extinguisher and ran back to the main path before going down the second branch where he encountered an enormous fire. Pointing the hose toward the base of the flames, he squeezed the lever and a cloud of carbon dioxide shot out. Before long, the fire was out and the path was clear. MegaMan quickly tossed the empty extinguisher aside and continued forward. He took a moment to check how Axl was progressing and found that the redheaded Navi had already made it past two fires. MegaMan quickly continued forward and found the second extinguisher. Like the first, it was also guarded by fire viruses. This time, they were a Spikey, a Swordy2, and an OldBurner. Fortunately, Aqua Soul was able to make quick work of them. After putting out the second flame, MegaMan moved on to find the third fire extinguisher. He had just found it and was running toward it when a pillar suddenly shot flames at him from the side.

“YEOW!”

“MegaMan, are you okay?” asked Lan.

“I just got burned,” MegaMan reported. Making sure to be extra careful of the traps, he finally made his way to the extinguisher. After quickly deleting the viruses the guarded it, he successfully put out the third flame and moved on to retrieve the fourth and final extinguisher.

“Be careful, MegaMan,” Lan warned, “Being the final extinguisher, it’ll likely be guarded by some very powerful viruses.”

“And speak of the devil,” MegaMan replied as his target came into his sight. Guarding the fire extinguisher were a LavaDragon and two HeatDragons.

“Dragons,” Lan muttered, “One of the hardest viruses to fight.”

“We can take them out with one shot, right Lan?” MegaMan asked.

“Only if this shot counts,” answered Lan, “Program Advance! Bubbler, Bubble-V, BubbleSide Battlechips in, download!” MegaMan’s hands transformed into two different water blasters and he raised them over his head, where they fused with the third chip to create a large water cannon.

“BubbleSpread!” Taking careful aim at the center of the viruses, he launched a large blast of water that exploded against the floor and hit all the viruses at once, deleting them instantly. With the way now clear, MegaMan grabbed the last fire extinguisher and ran to put out the final fire. Once his path was clear, he slid along another conveyor belt and regrouped with Axl.

“I see you managed to get through all that without taking too much damage,” the redhead noted with a smirk.

“Shut up, Axl,” MegaMan muttered as he rubbed the scorch mark on his body. The two Navis quickly turned toward ScorchMan and approached him together.

“It really is you, MegaMan!” the fiery NetNavi exclaimed.

“ScorchMan, stop this now or people are going to get hurt!” demanded MegaMan.

“In case you’ve forgotten, MegaMan, I’m evil. Hurting people is what I do,” ScorchMan replied.

“He’s got a point,” Axl thought out loud.

“That’s not helping,” MegaMan responded.

“Lan Hikari, we meet again.” A window popped up beside ScorchMan and displayed Blaise’s face.

“Blaise Fury,” Lan acknowledged as his own face appeared on a window beside MegaMan, “Wherever there’s ScorchMan, there’s you.”

“I’ve looked forward to doing battle with you again,” the pyromaniac said, “Ever since the fall of the Dark Nation, things have not been going smoothly for me.”

“Weren’t you teamed up with Sid and Lucy from the Dark Nation as well?” asked Lan.

“I was,” answered Blaise, “but I left to find better opportunities. And that’s when I found the Organization.”

“Did they give you the new threads, too?”

“Just the chain around my neck. But enough about that. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. Lan Hikari, you and MegaMan have caused me nothing but trouble. It’s time I put you out of my misery once and for all!”

“And your redhead friend can join you, too!” bellowed ScorchMan.

“They’re coming, Lan!” MegaMan shouted.

* * *

Sean was flipping a chip between his fingers when Lan and Maylu finally arrived.

“What took you guys so long?” he asked.

“We were on the other end of the mall on the second floor and this place is filled with panicking and screaming people. It’s not easy to get through a crowd like that,” answered Lan.

“Anyway, you’re here. Let’s do this, Lan.”

“I’m with you, Sean.”

“What should Maylu and I do?” asked Noah.

“See if you can fix the mall’s system while we fight,” answered Lan.

“Okay. We’ll leave ScorchMan to you two.”

“Be careful, Lan,” said Maylu.

“Don’t worry, Maylu. I will,” Lan assured his girlfriend. Maylu and Noah took out their PETs and aimed them at a jack-in sensor.

“Jack in!! Roll, power up!”

“Jack in!! Lumine, power up!”

Roll and Lumine materialized inside the Mall Comp and looked around.

“Let’s hurry, Roll,” Lumine said monotonously before running off.

“Right behind you!” The pink Navi followed the white one and they made their way through the burning system to fix whatever they could.

* * *

ScorchMan’s wrists began to burn brightly as fuel flowed from his back through his tubes and into his arms. He channeled the flames into his hands and took up his battle stance with his right hand positioned behind his head while his left hand stayed out in front as he crouched down low.

“Fire Scorcher!” He thrust his right arm forward and unleashed a powerful blast of flames from his palm. MegaMan and Axl quickly leapt to the sides and avoided the attack.

“Gotcha! Subterranean Blaze!” ScorchMan immediately dropped down and planted his left hand against the floor before blasting into it. As MegaMan and Axl landed, massive flames erupted from underneath and hit them hard.

“Since when did flame brain learn that move?!” exclaimed Axl.

“Or that first one?” MegaMan added.

“Things change over time!” ScorchMan bellowed, “I’ve upgraded these past years. But here’s a move you’ll remember. Firaga Tower!” Planting his hand against the floor again, he summoned a massive pillar of fire and sent it straight toward his opponents.

“AquaSword Battlechip in, download!” Lan and Sean slotted in their chips simultaneously and their two Navis sliced through the Firaga Tower.

“Now move in, Axl,” Sean ordered, “AreaGrab Battlechip in, download! Aqua+30 Battlechip in, download!” Axl’s body quickly inverted colors and he teleported in front of ScorchMan. His sword powered up and he slashed the fiery NetNavi across the chest. ScorchMan was forced back by the impact, but he held his arms out behind him and shot two streams of flames, which slowed him down to a complete stop. But he didn’t stop there. Once he had stabilized himself, he ran ahead with his hands still spewing fire and jumped forward. The force of his flames propelled him ahead like a pair of jets and he rammed into Axl headfirst. The scarred Navi was thrown back and he fell against MegaMan.

“Nice moves, ScorchMan!” Blaise complimented, “But don’t get overheated just yet. We’ve still got a lot left to do.”

“I’ll burn them into ash!” ScorchMan cried.

“Incredible,” Axl muttered as he pushed himself off his friend and back onto his feet, “His power has increased tremendously.”

“Is this the power of this new organization?” asked MegaMan as he stood back up.

“Don’t worry about that, MegaMan,” said Lan, “We’ve beaten ScorchMan before. We can do it again! Now hit him hard! SuperSpread!” He slotted in three WideShot chips and MegaMan fused his wide blasters into one large one.

“SuperSpread!” Wave after wave of water erupted from his weapon and bombarded ScorchMan with incredible power and filling the entire area with steam.

“Did you get him?” asked Axl. MegaMan lowered his arms and his weapon disappeared.

“I can’t see,” he replied. As if to answer, two streams of flames burst out from the thick cloud of steam and hit the two Navis dead-on, pushing them into a wall.

“Ha ha ha ha ha. You wish you could have defeated me so quickly.” ScorchMan emerged from the steam damaged but still fully functional with flames shooting from his hands in a steady blaze. He ceased his attack and his opponents fell to the floor, charred and smoking.

“It’s hopeless. You can’t defeat me. Not anymore!”

“It’s not over yet,” Lan muttered.

“Lan, do you have a BlackBomb chip?” asked Noah.

“Yeah, but why the hell would I use it against a Fire-element Navi?”

“Lan, BlackBomb explodes on contact with any flame!” Sean exclaimed, realizing Noah’s plan, “ScorchMan’s hair is comprised of open flames!”

“I get it now! Alright, we’ve got a plan!”

“Not if ScorchMan gets you first!” Blaise shouted.

“Fire Scorcher!” ScorchMan launched another fire blast from his hands. MegaMan and Axl quickly ducked aside and the attack hit the wall where they had just been moments ago.

“FireRat Battlechip in, download!” A red Ratton bomb appeared in Axl’s hand and he threw it against the spot where the flames were hitting. The FireRat activated and scurried along the floor until it hit ScorchMan’s leg.

“WHAT?!”

“BlackBomb Battlechip in, download!” A large cherry bomb appeared in MegaMan’s hand and he threw it up with all his might. It flew through the air and hit ScorchMan right on the head before exploding in his face.

“Alright!” MegaMan and Axl high-fived each other.

“It’ll take more than that to extinguish my fire!” ScorchMan rose up from the smoke with his flames burning brighter than before, “Subterranean Blaze!”

Lan and Sean slotted in DoubleJump chips and their NetNavis leapt high over the flames that rose up beneath them.

“Soul Unison: Axl Soul Battlechip in, download! AreaGrab Battlechip in, download!” MegaMan teleported over to ScorchMan and reappeared in Axl Soul. He immediately planted his hand against the pyromaniacal NetNavi and stole his main weapon.

“Reflector3 Battlechip in, download!” Lan inserted another chip and a large shield appeared in MegaMan’s hand. In one swift motion, he slammed it against ScorchMan and knocked him back. Then Axl flew over his friend armed with a Muramasa that Sean had sent him and slashed across his enemy’s chest. Finally, MegaMan unleashed the Fire Scorcher he had taken and engulfed ScorchMan in his own attack.

SCORCHMAN LOGGING OUT

“DAMN YOU, HIKARI!” Blaise screamed as he put his PET away and ran off.

“The temperature’s finally going back down!” Sean exclaimed as he noticed the air starting to cool down.

“Mall systems are back to normal,” Noah reported as he and Roll jacked out their Navis.

“We did it,” Lan sighed with relief, “We did it together.” He was suddenly glomped by Maylu and nearly thrown off his feet.

“Lan, you beat him!” she exclaimed.

“Hey, what about me?” asked Sean, “I helped.” He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and looked down to see Noah hugging him.

“What?” asked the boy genius, “You wanted one.”

* * *

“I can’t believe it!” Blaise fumed, “Beaten by Hikari AGAIN!”

“Wrath!” A voice alerted Blaise to his PET and he looked at the screen, “Return to headquarters immediately. You know what must be done.”

“I’m on my way.” The pyromaniac angrily shoved his PET back into its case and headed back to the organization’s base.

-------------------------------
End of chapter 4-4.

CHAPTER PREVIEW
Lan: Several high-security areas have been hacked.
MegaMan: Leave this case to Laika. He can handle it.
Lan: The perpetrator has his sights set on something.
MegaMan: Like I said, Laika will look into it.
Lan & MegaMan: Next time on Rockman.EXE: The College Years, “A Dangerous Mission”.
Lan: Whatever he’s up to, he has to be stopped.
MegaMan: Lan, I said that… Aw, forget it.
_________________

[TheWebbuilder]

... Now it could be because I'm exhausted, but I didn't really think that this chapter was fulfilling. There wasn't anything really special about the plot, it was just your basic random-terror-turned-act-of-revenge scenario. Likewise the combat wasn't all that unique. And while the BlackBomb trick was interesting, it wasn't enough to salvage the battle...

There did seem, however, to be some foreshadowing and hints of things to come in this chapter. So I suppose that you deserve points for that.

You seemed to draw off of the games more than the anime for this chapter, and I'm not entirely sure that that was worth it. Generally speaking, I've found that most of the gameplay gimmicks don't translate that well into fan fic material; I usually wind up skimming through most of it because it bores me. Such was the case here.

Overall... the entire thing just felt mediocre.

MR. PROG GIVES THIS CHAPTER A 7/10. XD
_________________

[Mugen.exe]

This chapter was good. It actually felt like a mission from an EXE game. One thing though, that irked me was Noah's Mary-Sue gaming moment. Everyone seemed to drop everything to cheer him up. Aside from that though, it was good. Bringing back someone from a previous season was a good choice.
_________________

False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP

[SonicNigma212]

Well, I've got to admit that the chapter at first was a bit so and so. But the little battle that you've put up for the chapter wasn't bad. It was really well described as always. The scene where both Noah and Sean trying to best one another at Dance Dance Revolution wasn't bad either. Man, those type of games I get real clumsy at. Anyway, it was real cute that both Lan and Maylu as a regular couple getting ready to get married. But what really got me was the fact that both Blase and ScorchMan returned to carry out revenge against them. Talk about having a major upgrade to the max. Not to mention the fact that he his now apart of the Organization gathering people that named themselves after the Seven Deadly Sins. But I've got a feeling that you have more in store for the rest of the chapters than you're letting on. I could tell from the way that you write. I would suggest that you take a week to relax. You deserved it. Oh, and I hope that you would be a person that I could rely on to become a part of a project that I'm working on. I'll let you know when the time comes. Just try to study more on the Deadly Sins more carefully. There may be a clue to help you as well as Noah's own origin. Later!

Maurice A. Nigma ^_^ :grr:

[Anime Master ZERO]

[Mugen.exe]

When I said Noah's Mary-Sue gaming moment, I wasn't talking about how he won, but how it focused too much on his losing. Any other character could have been the one to complain, but he was the cry-baby. I suppose since he's so young it does make sense, but I still feel it was too much attention on him. Anyways, still looking forward to the next chapter. Sorry I wasn't quite clear about what I meant when I mentioned Noah.
_________________

False Swipe is a great finishing move!
Witty robots, spunky orphans, and invincible pilots, this link's for you! A Gundam RP

[Midnight]

I have to agree with the past reviewers here.

This was dull, yet again. I do admit that the Blackbomb tactic was nice, but it did not prevent me from skimming most of this chapter and skipping the combat. The backstory of the chapter was also boring and did not entice the reader to go on.

About Noah's loss, I have to agree with Mugen's assessment--he seemed to be a bit too over-the-top. Yes, he is young, but that doesn't prevent him from learning a life lesson that not everyone can win everything.

Another mediocre work at best.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[NetOperator Wibby]

hey this is interesting...a hypnotist for a villain. but really it makes sense. why wouldn't they make good villains? kind of reminds me of videoman's operator in the way that i just don't like her either, lol.
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab

[Anime Master ZERO]

Wibby: Narcy is a man.

Credit goes to Dragonman .EXE. for coming up with the idea for ChemicalMan’s Poison Cannon.

--------------------------------------
CHAPTER 4-5
A Dangerous Mission

Laika was working late again. The serial killer case aside, there were countless more investigations that required his attention. He was just about to get up from his desk to get a coffee when General Stolz walked in. He immediately stood at attention and saluted.

“At ease, Lieutenant,” the general said calmly. Laika relaxed.

“I was just about to get a coffee, sir,”” the blue-haired solider informed him.

“You’ve been working late again, haven’t you?” asked General Stolz, “I understand that the case is important, but you can’t complete an investigation properly without a good night’s sleep. Go home, Laika. Go and get some sleep. The case will still be here for you to look into tomorrow.” Laika immediately stood back at attention and saluted.

“Thank you, sir.” He shut down his computer and grabbed his coat off the wall hook as he left the office, leaving his commanding officer alone.

“I think I’ll go have some tea,” General Stolz thought out loud.

* * *

Lan had a lab first thing the following morning. For him, labs were the only classes where he didn’t have Noah teaching him, so he considered them each a good three hours of relief. Having the boy as his professor wasn’t turning out quite like he had expected it. Having to listen to him talk nonstop every day at every waking second was starting to turn out to be more annoying than he had originally anticipated.

While he waited outside the lab, he noticed Yutaka walk by and waved him over.

“I haven't seen you in a while,” he greeted.

“It's only been a four-month holiday. But yeah, it's great to see you, Lan,” Yutaka greeted back.”

“You're looking well.”

“Must be the diet I've been on for the past two months.”

“Is that the high fat low fibre liquid diet where you drink nothing but bacon grease?” Lan inquired.

“Eww! No!” was Yutaka's response, “Who does that?”

“Okay, I see your point. Never mind. So, what's your diet?”

“I only eat foods that begin with vowels.”

“That sounds really hard,” Lan commented, “What did you have for breakfast?”

“Eggs and asparagus,” answered Yutaka, “And for lunch I'm having an avocado sandwich, and apple, and orange juice.”

“Well, it definitely sound healthy,” replied Lan, “Do Oreos count?”

* * *

Laika felt refreshed as he walked into the office. General Stolz's suggestion of a good night's sleep had done him good. He sat down at his desk and booted up his computer. As soon as it was ready, he jacked in SearchMan and began to resume from where he left off the night before.

“Hey! Who are you?” SearchMan's sudden outburst caused Laika to turn his attention to his PET. His NetNavi was facing another Navi wearing dark purple armor. A pair of tube connected the chemical packs on his back to the blasters on his arms. In addition, he also wore some form of utility belt. His face was covered by a hazard suit mask, making it completely obscured. The WHIMIS biohazard symbol located on his chemical packs served as his icon.

“Who are you?” SearchMan demanded again as he held up his gun and fired a warning shot, “Answer me now or the next shot goes through the middle of your visor.”

“My name is ChemicalMan,” the Navi identified through a voice filter under his mask.

“And why are you here?” asked SearchMan.

“It's simple,” answered ChemicalMan, “I'm hacking into your system.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it. Scope Gun!” SearchMan pulled the trigger and fired a shot from his sniper rifle. ChemicalMan pressed a button on his belt and a small vial fell out of one of the storage compartments into his hand. He threw it into the path of the gunshot and it exploded on impact. With a smokescreen in place, he pointed one of his blasters at the floor and fired a shot of acid, which ate open a hole and he quickly jumped through it.

“SearchMan, don't let him escape!” ordered Laika.

“Roger!” SearchMan jumped down after ChemicalMan and began to pursue him.

“Daniel, jack me out,” ChemicalMan called out.

“You're not getting away that easily,” SearchMan muttered. He stopped running and brought up his sniper rifle. He locked onto his opponent and pulled the trigger. A tracer shot out of his gun and latched onto ChemicalMan's back just in time before he logged out.

“SearchMan to Lieutenant Laika. The tracer has been planted.”

“Well done, SearchMan. Jack out for now.”

“Roger that.”

* * *

Sitting alone in a dark room before a dark computer, the fourteen-year-old master computer hacker Daniel dePigro was watching his main computer screen while holding his dark purple PET in his hands. He had dark unkempt hair and pale skin. His light blue sweatshirt and lounge pants were completely rumpled. The image of a goat was imprinted on the front of his shirt. Despite his appearance, Daniel was a very smart individual. Unfortunately, he was also extremely lazy.

“You narrowly escaped that time, ChemicalMan,” he informed his Navi, “You might not be so lucky next time.”

“Don't worry, Daniel,” assured ChemicalMan, “I just need the right substances.”

* * *

The next day, everyone at the Official Center was working hard. After ChemicalMan's intrusion, upgrades were being made to the entire security system. Meanwhile, Laika and SearchMan were using the tracer to try to find the perpetrator. However, they were unable to obtain a signal.

“He must be somewhere with an extremely powerful firewall,” SearchMan informed his operator, “We'll have to wait until he moves before we can begin tracking him.”

“Just stay on him, SearchMan,” said Laika.

* * *

ChemicalMan had his own lab inside Daniel's computer. He was busy developing a new set of substances for his upcoming mission. He had already filled several vials with various powders, crystals, and liquids. All that remained was to make the chemicals he would be using in his main arsenal.

“Finished,” he said monotonously upon completion. He picked up his chemical pack and began to load it with the dangerous substances. At that moment, he noticed the tracer that SearchMan had planted the previous day.

How did that get there? he wondered. He shrugged it off a few seconds later and removed the tracer before dropping it into an acid compound. Once his chemical pack was filled, ChemicalMan attached it onto his back and connected the tubes to his arm blasters.

“I'm ready, Daniel.”

“Then get going, ChemicalMan. It'll be the same as before. I'll navigate and you do the rest.”

* * *

“Huh?”

“What's wrong, SearchMan?” asked Laika.

“Even though we can't pinpoint ChemicalMan's location, we should still at least be receiving a signal from the tracer,” SearchMan answered, “We've lost the signal.”

“Which means that chances are he's discovered it and is now on the move,” Laika surmised, “Quickly, SearchMan! We have to locate him fast!”

* * *

A large hole suddenly appeared in the massive firewall as ChemicalMan's acid ate through it. Several security Navis ran up and aimed their Cannons at him as he stepped through to the other side.

“Blast him!” Right on cue, all the Navis began firing. ChemicalMan extracted three vials from his belt and threw them into the barrage of plasmafire. The resulting explosions wiped out the security team within a matter of seconds. ChemicalMan smirked and continued forward.

“The military defense system,”he said to himself, “Once Daniel links direct access to the Organization's headquarters, we'll have substantial firepower that'll last us for a while.” Upon reaching his destination, ChemicalMan took out two vials and mixed the substances together. He then threw the compound behind him and it landed on the floor.

“Freeze!” Another security team was coming with their weapons ready. Unfortunately, they didn't get far as the vial soon exploded and created a massive hole in the floor, which swallowed up the security Navis.

“Not my intention to destroy them, but it was an added bonus.”

* * *

“Lieutenant Laika! We've located the target!” Laika ran over to the Official who had called his name and looked at the screen.

“He's at the military defense system,” another Official declared, “We won't get a team there in time.”

“SearchMan is close to that area,” Laika informed them, “I'll send him ahead.”

“Roger, sir.” While the others worked furiously, Laika took out his PET.

“SearchMan, head for the military defense system.”

“Roger that.”

On the net, SearchMan ran as fast as he could toward the target's location. When he arrived, he saw ChemicalMan standing on the other side of a large hole that had been recently made. He took careful aim with his sniper rifle and fired. His shot struck its mark and ChemicalMan turned around.

“YOU!”

“This ends now, ChemicalMan,” SearchMan declared and he fired again. Like last time, ChemicalMan threw a vial out in front of him and intercepted the shot. But this time, SearchMan had a way to get around it.

“Satellite Ray!” A green satellite appeared overhead and fired a laser down at ChemicalMan. The attack took him by surprise and he was struck hard.

“ChemicalMan, get closer to him,” Daniel ordered. The purple-armored Navi threw two vials at the edge of the hole and the mixture of the two chemicals solidified into a narrow bridge. ChemicalMan quickly ran across and readied his blasters.

“Acid Stream!” He fired a burst of acid from his blaster and SearchMan quickly dove to the side. The corrosive liquid missed him and hit the floor, eating away at it until it had created a hole where it had splashed.

“Toxic Gas!” As he neared his opponent, ChemicalMan brought up his other blaster and shot out a thick cloud of purple smoke.

“That's poisonous gas!” exclaimed Laika, “SearchMan, get rid of it! WindRacket Battlechip in, download!” SearchMan's hand transformed into a fan and he waved it in front of him, blowing the billowing cloud away.

“Don't play with dangerous chemicals,” Daniel taunted, “Geddon3 Battlechip in, download!” One by one, the floor panels changed into poisonous swamp panels until the entire area had transformed into a toxic battlefield.

“This is excellent!” laughed ChemicalMan.

“Why?” asked SearchMan, “You'll be poisoned, too.”

“Ah, but that's where you're wrong,” ChemicalMan corrected, “Poison heals me! You're fighting on my turf now! Now take this! Acid Stream!” SearchMan coughed as he moved. The poison was weakening him and there wasn't much he could do to stop it. His only option was to quickly be rid of his opponent.

“Chemical Bomb!” ChemicalMan held up three vials and threw them at SearchMan. They exploded around him and dealt moderate damage.

“Search Grenade!” The sniper quickly summoned a grenade to his hand and he threw it at his opponent only to have it dissolved by a stream of acid.

“Recover150 Battlechip in, download!” Laika slotted in the chip, but Daniel had expected it and was ready.

“AntiRecovery Battlechip in, download!” A poisonous gas surrounded SearchMan he cried out as his body took more damage.

“Fighting on a poisoned battlefield, did you really think we wouldn't be prepared for recovery chips?” ChemicalMan scoffed, “Maybe this next chip will teach you not to mess with my power.”

“Anubis Battlechip in, download!” An Anubis statue dropped down beside ChemicalMan and began spewing poisonous gas all over the field, choking SearchMan.

This is bad, thought Laika, With this guy's power over poison, there's no way anyone can beat him. The situation was indeed grim. The blue-haired soldier had to think of something fast.

“Now it's time for your erasure,” ChemicalMan declared as he held out his right blaster, “Acid Stream!”

“That's it!” exclaimed Laika, “Burner Battlechip in, download!” Powerful flames erupted around SearchMan and as soon as the acid made contact, they shot up the stream and exploded against ChemicalMan.

“What the ****?” Daniel gasped.

“Acid's flammable!” Laika declared. He then slotted in a Fan chip and a VacuumFan virus appeared and began to suck in the toxic gas coming from the Anubis. With it out of the way, SearchMan was finally able to get back up despite the Geddon3 still whittling away at his health.

“Looks like the tables are turning,” he said.

“No, not yet!” ChemicalMan growled. He brought up his arm to fire another Acid Stream, but the right tank on his chemical pack suddenly exploded.

“Just a small aftereffect from that last explosion,” SearchMan explained. Anger slowly beginning to rise, ChemicalMan brought up his left hand and fired his Toxic Gas. SearchMan jumped back and fired several shots. His opponent ducked under them and they flew past.

“Ha! You missed!”

“Or did I?” The shots entered a wormhole and they shot back out through another at ChemicalMan's left tank. They hit their mark and punctured three holes into it, causing the gas to escape. Panic beginning to build up inside him, the purple-armored Navi extracted several vials from his belt and threw them at his opponent.

“Satellite Ray!” SearchMan's satellite's laser intercepted the Chemical Bombs and they exploded harmlessly in the air, “Surrender, ChemicalMan! You're clearly out of tricks.” ChemicalMan raised his hands over his head, but then he slowly began to laugh.

“What's so funny?” demanded SearchMan.

“Oh, nothing much,” ChemicalMan said as he calmed down, “It's just that you haven't had a chance to see my ultimate weapon!”

“What?” gasped SearchMan.

ChemicalMan snickered as he detached his tubes from the remains of his chemical pack and plugged them into the floor. He began to suck up all the poison, returning the panels to normal, and built it up inside his blasters.

“The LavaCannons and Volcano have lava panels and HolyDream has holy panels,” Daniel muttered, “It's about time someone made use of poison panels in the same way.”

“This attack covers an immense area, so there's no way to avoid it!” ChemicalMan shouted, “And if you manage to block it, the poison will still destroy you from the inside!”

“Laika! What now!” shouted SearchMan. The final poison panel vanished and the last of the poison flowed up through the tubes and vanished inside the blasters.

“POISON CANNON!” With a mighty cry, ChemicalMan unleashed an enormous blast of poisonous purple liquid at SearchMan.

“SEARCHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!”

* * *

“What's going on?” asked Lan. He was on his way home when he saw a crowd standing outside a ramen shop and decided to stop and investigate.

“This restaurant has been serving bad food to its customers,” a bystander replied, “Apparently, there's been lots of reports of food contamination at this place. The health inspector is shutting it down.”

* * *

Laika sat inside a harbor side bar by the window overlooking the ocean staring out at the setting sun with a glass of vodka in his hand.

Life is so short, he thought, But a Net Savior must put his on the line everyday to save and protect others. He closed his eyes and sighed before taking another drink of his alcohol.

“Lieutenant Laika.”

“Yes?”

“That was a hard decision to make.”

But no matter how much we're told this, Laika's thoughts continued, we still cannot escape the fact that we are still humans and NetNavis.

“You chose to save my life even though it would let the perpetrator escape.”

“Your life is just as important as those we have to protect,” said Laika, “SearchMan.”

“Thank you, sir,” said SearchMan.

“I still need you, SearchMan. So I had to jack you out at the last minute.”

“But ChemicalMan got away.”

“We'll see him again. And next time, things will be different.” Laika set down his empty glass and got up to leave, his thinking his final thoughts.

All lives are precious.

--------------------------------------------
End of chapter 3-5.

CHAPTER PREVIEW
Lan: Another child gone missing?
MegaMan: Kids from all over the city have been disappearing mysteriously. The police have no leads.
Lan: We have to find the one who's doing all this.
MegaMan: But where do we start looking?
Lan & MegaMan: Next time on Rockman.EXE: The College Years, “Night of the Children's Cries”.
Lan: We have to hurry.
MegaMan: The next victim could be...
_________________

[SonicNigma212]

This thing is starting to get deep and serious. I mean, the villian Navi and Net Op in this chapter sure gave both SearchMan and Laika a run for their money. Not to mention the fact that they're facing an opponent that uses the powers of poisons in order to gain the upper hand. You really got to thank Dragonman .EXE. for the Poison Cannon idea. But what really got to me that Laika, among all of the characters that I've read in this story so far, he was breaking down all because he let a criminal get away in order to save SearchMan's life. Well, that's all from me. Here's my final note, I know that you would turn things around in this fic. I mean, this is a good story that you've put up. Both the good and bad things are in this fic and I don't think that most people see that. Well, that's just my opinion. That's all that I've got to say. Later!

Maurice A. Nigma :grr: ^_^

[NetOperator Wibby]

lol, whoops sorry about that! i guess i missed something..."narcy" sounds fit for a female though (to me anyway, lol).
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab

[TheWebbuilder]

I felt like SearchMan was out of character the entire time. Generic hero lines were about all that he spouted, but they just aren't his speed...

As towards the rest of the chapter, it was alright, but again, nothing really stood out about it to me. The plot was, again, barely existent and the combat was mediocre. And once again, the acid trick was a nice touch, but it wasn't enough to salvage the scene. (I feel like I'm writing out my last review all over again.) The chapters need something clever or different about them in order to draw our interest, the same old, same old just isn't going to cut it at this point.

Your past few chapters haven't been so great; it might be time to work on something else for a few weeks and just put this on hold again. Sometimes changing your focus for a while will work wonders when you return to it. But regardless, this 'season' is starting to suffer, and something needs to be done about that.
_________________

[NetOperator Wibby]

hey! i think it's going pretty good. it has me interested and there are new villains that aren't easy to beat as well as new battlechips.
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab

[Dragonman .EXE.]

Holy crap you used my idea I gave you at otakon! >.< thanks master-sama
_________________
Please visit my deviant.
For the LOVE OF BAKA, VISIT!!
http://bakaseitz.deviantART.com
_____________________

sig made by XHunter17
avy mad by Synchro-kun
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?BakaSeitz

[Dragonman .EXE.]

my god chemicallman is so cool, I had no idea that you would make the poison cannon so powerful, thank you again, you have no idea how happy i am and how jealouse my little bro is when I told and showed him this chapter. thankx, i am in your det
_________________
Please visit my deviant.
For the LOVE OF BAKA, VISIT!!
http://bakaseitz.deviantART.com
_____________________

sig made by XHunter17
avy mad by Synchro-kun
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?BakaSeitz

[Midnight]