My very own fanfic (Dark Approaches the Light)

[Fortex]

All right guys, this is my first fanfic, though my brother helped me out too, on the making. I insert some name in games, since i don't know of it in Japanese version, so make sure you know the names on the game (MegaMan version). I post the first chappie as the startup, enjoy


When the Dark Approaches the Light


Chapter I : The Secondary Navi?
One day, Netto came back from school of Akihara, where he usually study…
Netto : Tadaima! I’m home!
Mama : Welcome home, dear.
Netto : Where is my food, ma?
Mama : Just usual, on the dining table
Rockman : Netto-kun, it’s a little rude to say something like that
Netto : Whatever, since I’m really hungry, I can’t take it anymore
Rockman : Really.

Then, Netto eat his lunch on the table…
Netto : Itadakimasu! (Phrase said before eating)
Mama : Oh, Netto, Papa sent you a letter
Netto : What? Papa?
Mama : Yeah, it’s on the kitchen-side table, it’s addressed personally to you
Netto : What could be the content? Hope it’s not the newly found viruses
Rockman : Netto-kun!
Netto : Haha, just joking, Papa wouldn’t do that

After Netto ate the lunch, he starts examining the letter…
Netto : Is this it, Mama?
Mama : Yes, that’s the one
Netto : Let’s just see what is the content of it
(Tears the upper part of the envelope)
Netto : What’s this? A mini data disk?
Rockman : What the content would be? Let’s check
Netto : Wait! This reminds me.
Rockman : Reminds you of what?
Netto : At the day I found your data in a mini disk, Papa sent me a letter too. This is just exactly the same way that Papa did to sent me data
Rockman : Is that so? But, I now that Papa is very busy, so I think he use that way again to send you this mini disk
Netto : Maybe. Well, let’s check out the content
Rockman : Let’s go
Mama : Don’t forget to trash the envelope to the garbage bin
Netto : Okay

After that, Netto went to his room, plug his PET on the charger, and start the computer…
Netto : Hmm… let’s just see the data on the “Explorer” first
(The result displayed)
Netto : Another “.EXE” file? That means, the disk contains a net Navi?
Rockman : Why would Papa send you another Navi?
Netto : I don’t know, Papa didn’t said anything before he left.
Rockman : I think we just have to install it, and see what comes up
Netto : Okay
(The Installation program started……Finished!!)
Netto : Well, Rockman, any changes in the PET?
Rockman : No change, but the processor and motherboard in this PET are commencing something
Netto : Something?
Rockman : Yeah, the completion of the installation. It’ll take 30 minutes to done.
Netto : That’s it
Rockman : What is it?
Netto ; Just like you, you need time before your complete installation and being operated
Rockman : I see. But this is the only way to find out the Navi Program in that disk
Netto : That’s right, continue on the completion, Rockman
Rockman : Okay, I’ll move to the computer, so your PET wouldn’t be overload.
Netto : Okay, let me know when it’s finished
Rockman : Well, you should take some rest before the completion finished, just turn the computer into Standby mode, so I won’t disturb your rest
Netto : Thank you, Rockman. Fiuh, usually he force me to do my homework before take a rest
Rockman : But don’t forget your homework
Netto : Okay, okay. Cih, finally, that word again

Netto turns the computer into Standby mode, the monitor turned off, and Rockman gone from his sight. His PET is still on the charger. Then, he lay on the bed, and thinking…
Netto : Papa, why did you send me another Navi? Are you intending on replacing Rockman with another Navi? I can’t believe this

Then, Netto goes into his sleep world, while his PET plugged on the charger.
30 minutes later…
The PET displays, “Completing Installation now commencing, harddisk update engaged” (Beep..beep…beep)
Then, after a short while, a form of a Navi begins to make…

The next morning…
Navi : Netto-kun! Wake up!
Netto : Nggghhh… just 5 more minutes please, Rockman
Navi : WAKE UP!!!
(Netto falls from his bed)
Netto : Ouch! That hurts, don’t get too annoying now, Rockman!
Navi : I’m not Rockman!
Netto : What? Then, who called me?
Navi : Me, in the PET.
Netto turns his glance to the PET monitor, he sees a Navi, just looks like Rockman, but there are some differences. The Hikari Symbol on its chest and ears are purple and black. The yellow parts that usually on Rockman’s shoulder and head are now purple on the new Navi. Its whole body is black with white lines on the side of its body. The hair-like-shape on the back of its head is black. Its eyes are red with black lens on the center…
Netto : You are …
Navi : I’m Dark Rockman, pleased to meet you Hikari Netto
Netto : What? No joke for now, Rockman. I know you like to joke, but this kind of joke isn’t usual, you usually done just some bad jokes. Let me check if I have installed the ‘Humor’ program
Dark Rockman : (Cut the talk) I’m not Rockman! I’m Dark Rockman. Your Papa programmed me and you installed my data
Netto : No way! The Dark Rockman that I know is very evil and bad.
Dark Rockman : If you don’t believe, turn on your computer, your Navi must be still there

Then, Netto turns on the computer by moving the mouse, the monitor turned on…
Netto : Rockman! Rockman!
(Rockman become visible on the monitor)
Rockman : What is it, Netto-kun?
Netto : So you’re still there
Rockman : What do you mean by that?
Netto : Take a look! This is the Navi that just been installed
(Netto pick the PET, and face the PET screen to the computer’s monitor)
Rockman : What? Is that….
Dark Rockman : You must be Rockman, I’m Dark Rockman, nice to meet you
Rockman : What are you doing? You want to pick another fight with us?
Dark Rockman : Fight? I have no intention on that. I just wanna be operated by Netto-kun and become his Navi
Netto : I? Become your operator?
(Dark Rockman turns his sight to Netto’s side)
Dark Rockman : That’s right. I can be more useful than that blue Navi on the computer (Smirk arrogant sight)
Rockman : What did you say? You black-red-eyed Navi!
Dark Rockman : Why you good for nothing bad-joke maker… (Angry)
Rockman : You evil without fangs…(Angry)
(Both of them start quarreling by saying bad words)
Dark Rockman : Netto-kun! Plug me into the computer, I’ll bust that blue bastard! (Pointing)
Rockman : Bring it on! You black jerk! (Pointing)
Netto : Stop it! That’s enough for you two!
Dark Rockman, Rockman : Huh!! (Turns opposite each other)
Netto : What should I do? I don’t have any ideas about this
(Netto put the PET back to its charger)
Mama : (From outside Netto’s room) Netto-kun, what’s that noise all about?
Netto : No, nothing at all, Ma.
Mama : Papa has come back, now he is at the Scilab, if you have time, he wants you to visit him
Netto : Okay. Oh, that’s it.
Dark Rockman, Rockman : Hmm? (Wondering)
Netto : Both of you was programmed by Papa right? If I take you two to Papa, maybe he knows something
Rockman : Okay
(Rockman moves to the PET)
Dark Rockman : Hey you!
Dark Rockman : I’m the one who will go with Netto-kun, you just use the net line
Rockman : No, you are the one who has to use the net line
Dark Rockman : Why you….
Rockman : Grr…
(The PET starts sparkling and electrizing since it’s overload)
Netto : You two! Move to the computer right now!!
Dark Rockman, Rockman : Okay
(Both of them moves to the computer, and shortly, they are visible on the computer screen)
Netto : You guys are really. Well, both of you, use the net line. Leave the PET empty, I’ll bring it without a Navi inside.
Dark Rockman, Rockman : What??
Netto : It’s for the fair. Come on, we are going, I’ll catch up with you guys later. And…
Dark Rockman, Rockman : And…
Netto : If you guys quarrelling in the net line and made my net line busy, I will uninstall all of you.
Dark Rockman : That’s scary
Rockman : Netto-kun is really mad
Netto : No heart feelings, let’s go! (Preparing and go out) (Slam! The door closed)
Dark Rockman, Rockman : Okay
Rockman : Huh, I don’t want to use the same link with you
Dark Rockman : Who wants to use the same link? My link will be quicker
Rockman : We’ll see about that, purple Navi
Dark Rockman : Why you ghost coward…
Rockman : You….
Dark Rockman : Grrr…..
Netto : (Come back to the room and opens the door) I SAID NO QUARREL OR I WILL UNINSTALL ALL OF YOU!!! (SLAAMM!!, the door closed abruptly)
Dark Rockman, Rockman : Ha…I (Yes)

Then, the two Rockmans gone from the Netto’s computer screen, while Netto’s getting confused about what his father’s intention on giving him two Navis, he keep thinking of it along the way to Scilab. But, that’s what happened and now he has two Navis installed and both of them always quarreling. Only Papa, Hikari Yuuichirou, who programmed both of the Rockmans, that knows something about this and the intention on giving Netto another Navi instead of Rockman.EXE, it’s Dark Rockman.EXE…
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Your last word will become the word that will always be remembered by anybody

[Midnight]

...I'm not sure if I'm all too thrilled with this. Quite frankly, I think this needs a lot of retooling.

My initial reaction to this is that it is in script form. That, right off the bat, puts this fic at a disadvantage because scripts are generally frowned upon as opposed to prose, save extenuatng circumstances. The reason for that is rather simple--scripts leave the burden of the visualization on the reader. Scripts for shows and/or movies usually have copious amounts of stage descriptions, describing the scene, the time, the appearance of the characters, etc... and those are fine. The way I see it--if a writer is going to add that much information to a fic, why bother putting it in script form? Paragraphs are a lot easier on the eye, methinks.

I'm not all too thrilled about having Dark Rockman as part of this, since he seems really...awkward in this situation. People who have played the games and/or watched/read the anime/manga know that Dark Rockman is a character hellbent on destroying his counterpart--so having him in a stable, peaceful situation with no indication of his canon past is a little unsettling at best. In addition, the petty name-calling at the end doesn't do much to develop their characters.

It's not terrible, but it's not particularly good, either. I suggest you think about this fic before you continue it.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Fortex]

I manage to continue on it, Midnight-san, thanks for the advice, but i can't keep on on my very-own scenario, gotta copy some. This time, my brother helped me a lot. Sorry, truly that i typed this in Microsoft Word, i forgot to add the Italic and Bold things. Gotta correct it more. But, please enjot this

Chapter II : The Friendly-Dark Making
Netto take the Metroline Train to reach the Scilab, he keeps wondering, even more, he thought that this is a dream, but every time he take a glance to his PET screen, he realize that it’s not a dream, even though the PET screen is blank, without a Navi. He is still wondering about that matter…
Netto : Papa, you fool! How could you give me another Navi and make quarrels in my computer line. Both of the Rockmans can’t understand each other. I don’t know why. Papa, what are you thinking on doing this?
As Netto keep wondering, the Metroline arrived at the Scilab station…
Netto : Finally. I have to meet Papa immediately
(Suddenly, A Navi appears on the Netto’s PET screen) Netto-kun!
Netto : (Pick his PET) Oh, it’s you Dark Rockman. Where is Rockman?
Dark Rockman : He went first to the Scilab line, let’s go, Papa is on his lab
Netto : Okay

After a walk, Netto reached Hikari Yuuichirou’s lab…
Netto : Papa
Papa : Oh, Netto, what happened? Rockman is here
(The monitor on the front of Papa turned on, and Rockman is visible in it)
Rockman : Netto-kun!
Netto : Rockman, your twin is here, in the PET
Rockman : I know that would happen, he gone all of a sudden from the net line, I think he doesn’t know Papa’s line yet. Bet that he used the wireless network in Scilab and waiting for you
Dark Rockman : Don’t get cocky with that!
Papa : Rockman’s twin?
Netto : Here it is Papa! Another of your creation that you sent me
(Netto pick his PET and face the monitor to Papa, Dark Rockman is visible on the PET screen)
Papa : So, it’s a success
Netto, Rockman : Success?
Papa : Let me tell you the whole explanation
Netto : I’m listening
(Netto put the PET on the charger beside Papa’s computer)
Papa : I managed to find some Dark Chips after the Nebula incident, since it has been wide-spreaded, it’s a little easy to find it through the Internet, and I bought some Dark Chips which has been published. Then, I start to examine it, the interior, exterior, IC (Inner Core), and the metal. And, I found something interesting
Netto : What is it?
Papa : The IC of the Dark Chips are nearly similar to that of the usual Battle Chips. I was able on extracting its essential and turn it to become data. And, since its data can be extracted, I start thinking to make another Navi from the data that I obtained from the Dark Chip extraction
Netto : Uh-huh
Papa : I have some Rockman.EXE data, then I mix the data with the Dark Chip extraction data. And the result, as you can see, it’s a Navi that is similar to Rockman with Dark Chip power embedded, it turned out to Dark Rockman.EXE
Netto : Papa, why does this Dark Rockman isn’t that evil from the Dark Rockman that I knew?
Rockman : He usually want to conquer the Net with darkness
Dark Rockman : I’m no evil, Netto-kun, please trust me! You too, blue little Navi in the computer
Rockman : Grrr….
Netto : Stop it you two!
Papa : If I make a Navi which is pure from the extracted data, the Navi will sure turn into an evil form, inside and outside. So, I managed to keep out the “Dark Heart” essence that turns the Navi into an evil form. In this Dark Rockman, there is no that “Dark Heart” essence. He is the new Dark Rockman, the Dark Rockman with Rockman’s heart, but his intelligence, power, and way of fighting, must be the same with the Dark Rockman that you guys knew
Netto : Why is he a little some sort of arrogant?
Papa : Maybe it’s a little side effect of the another Dark Program in his body
Rockman : So that’s why, that black-arrogant Navi is very annoying
Dark Rockman ; Shut up, you blue-fraidy Navi!
Netto : Stop it!
Papa : Haha… you guys should make up together quick. Oh, Netto-kun here is a Battle chip folder for you
(Give Netto a pack of Battle Chips)
Netto : What’s this? The Battle Chips looks very different from the usual Battle Chips
Papa : That’s the Dark Chips, use it for Dark Rockman only. He can manage the power of the Dark Chips optimally
Netto : Okay. Wow, the attack powers are great. These sure are powerful chips
Papa : Rockman could use it too. But, I’m afraid he will be affected with darkness and his program may disrupt and changed to dark.
Netto : I understand. Let’s make up by now, Dark Rockman
Dark Rockman : I’m on your operation, Netto-kun
Netto : You two should make up too
Rockman : There is no choice, pleased to meet you, my dark twin, Dark Rockman
Dark Rockman : Pleased to meet you too, my blue twin, Rockman
Netto : That’s it. Thanks for all the explanation Papa, now it’s clear
Papa : Anytime, Netto. I’m sorry if I troubled you for taking care two Navies, but I can trust the Dark Rockman only to you
Netto : Don’t worry, I’ll customize him for good, oh, I have an appointment with friends. See you later Papa
(Pick his PET from the charger and go)
Papa ; Be careful, Netto
Rockman : Papa
Papa : Rockman, you are still here. Oh, Netto-kun has brought Dark Rockman with him
Rockman : That’s right, I can’t get along with him this time (Lost his courage)
Papa : You look sad, I know that you care so much about Netto. But, don’t worry, you’ll sure get on with Netto’s side again
Rockman : I think so too.
Papa : There is a thing that I didn’t told Netto-kun, just leave him be with his new Navi for now
Rockman : A thing? What is that?
Papa : I can’t tell it right now, as the time flows, Netto himself will find out about it. You should go back to Netto’s homepage now, he will get worried if you aren’t there when he come back
Rockman : Arigatou, Papa

Then, Rockman gone from Papa’s computer, and back to Netto’s homepage. While Netto bring Dark Rockman with him and go to meet his friends. The ‘thing’ that Papa mentioned is still a mystery, no one knows except Papa, the programmer of the Navi. Only time can answer what happen next…
_________________
Your last word will become the word that will always be remembered by anybody

[Fortex]

Sorry, one of my usual habit on making fiction is changing a character's usual trait. Sorry if the things got doubtful by this thing
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Your last word will become the word that will always be remembered by anybody