Am I the Only One? (G, One-Shot)

[Cyril]

Am I the Only One?

He awoke again, feeling only that he was lying down. The platform was flat, but gave enough to be as a comfortable mattress. He leaned up and turned to hang his feet off the “bed” that he slept on. His internal clock told him that it was not yet time for him to be awake, and yet he was. He shouldn’t be awake, for he was a program and programs are not supposed to deviate from their programming. There were others of his class of program that inhabited the computer, but he was different from all of those. He was made of the same bits and bytes, the binary codes and advanced programming, but he was still not like the others.

His emerald-green eyes wandered off into the distant void of the computer’s interior. This was where he stayed when not being transported around by his “operator.” The portable device that his operator used was much smaller and did not hold his data as easily, so it was more comfortable for him to stay in the computer when he needed to relax. He was programmed to be human, as were the others of his class of program, but he was different in the fact that he was human… at one time long ago. He had achieved a virtual immortality, a kind of never-ending life living in the confines of this complicated digitized landscape.

He could not remember the past, the times before he could only see and hear. The times before he was trapped, forever separated from the rest of humanity by a thin screen of plasma. He heard the story of how he became this way. He heard it many times and was asked to keep it a secret, much to his dismay.

He was born first. The first of two twins to be born, but ironically enough, his heart was the weakest. So weak was his heart that he had barely a month to live. He was kept close to his brother, by request of his parents. It is possible they wanted his brother to feel the closeness of being together with a sibling. Maybe, they wanted the human-turned-program to feel something he would never feel with another person again. He had emotions, and this made him feel sad to hear of how he left this world.

The father of the two boys was an advanced programmer: he was the chief programmer at the leading scientific institution for the control and creation of these programs and the world they inhabited. He was devastated by imminent loss of his oldest son, and as many wise people have said, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” He hatched a plan for his son, and this was going to be revolutionary for the whole world. He had his son’s DNA sequenced, and with it he was going to make a program with that as the base. He was going to make the first “human” program.

Making a program out of DNA was difficult, but it created a unique code that mirrored the organic creation of cells, hair color, size, voice, look, growth patterns. So, the blue, green-eyed program grew alongside but hidden from his brother, learning with an advanced AI that was present in others, but was even more dynamic in him. As the years past, his personality was turning to be more mellow and responsible than his brothers, but his brother began acquiring friends, who until recently did not have programs that they could call their own.

He was unsure about them, and it kept him awake as of late. What kind of emotions and thoughts did they hold if any at all? They seemed to be all different with personalities, but personalities were simple to program. Could they feel sadness, could they feel anger… could they feel hate or love? He was unsure, but he knew he could, and that a pink colored program had made her way into his digital heart. Something about her made him forget the feeling of being separated from his brother, and accepting his fate as a program.

What kept him from her was not any theological doctrine, nor was it any cultural norm. No, what kept him from her was himself. His fear that she could not feel, or even did not feel as he did. Love had to be returned, he thought, I cannot teach love, and I cannot force love. He sighed and hopped onto the ground from his bed, and he stood and looked at the entrance to the internet. If the digital world inside a computer was orderly and peaceful, the internet was simply the complete opposite. Programs of his type, normal automaton programs, viruses, advertisement, and malicious thinking class programs. The internet was not a place for the weak of heart, and though his heart had been so when he was born he now had the strength to carry on.

He sometimes accessed the internet to walk through the chaos, which never seemed to touch those who were merely walking. Like watching a movie or a play, it was a very surreal to see a program pass by and never notice, it’s lack of eyes and mouth the most disturbing thing about it. He thought twice, as he walked to take the link into the computer that housed the pink-colored program, to go and talk to her. He did not know, and he was not brave enough to discover whether he was special in the all the areas he thought he was.

He looked at the trees, the trees that were programmed to make the world of the digital true to the world of reality. He walked up and touched one, it felt like a real tree, even through the “gloves” he wore on his hands, which he never seemed to remove, the bark was rough. He sighed again and looked off into the distance, not the void, for the internet was not a void. Information was constantly flowing through these streets, so there was never any void to be had. Something was always there in someplace or another. He looked to his left and saw the link to her home.

He steeled himself; he didn’t even know if the others slept, he never researched to find out. Maybe he didn’t want to know if they slept or not, maybe he just didn’t care until now. He entered the portcullis and his vision turned white. All in an instant he appeared in a pink platform, which seemed to be suspended in a sea of pink with music motifs. Such a strange world, it was completely different from the drab computer that he inhabited.

The girl-program was there. She was sleeping, and didn’t even notice his presence. Such beauty, he thought, in a strange world. He had the urge to wake her, but he was comfortable enough to sit down and observe this wonder. He was not so special. The revelation made him sad and elated at the same time, at once happy but also frightened. The programs he knew so well, the program’s of his brother’s friends. He had treated as inferior, but he didn’t do it very obviously so they probably didn’t notice.

Her dreams were starting to take an odd turn, so she woke up to dispel them. Normally, she would have just resumed sleeping after this, but now she had realized some presence in the computer that should not be, or was not usually there. She looked over in his direction and nearly jumped off of her bed. She knew him well, but it was odd to see him here. This apparently was an odd spontaneous action from someone who usually thought things out very thoroughly. She had to know why he was entering her domain.

“Why are you here?” she said liltingly.

The blue program thought for a moment, “Research,” he said bluntly.

“What do you mean research?” She asked cocking her head slightly

“I wanted to know if you slept like I did.” He mumbled turning his face to the ground.

“Of course I do silly!” She exclaimed, “All of us do!”

“I didn’t know,” he said, still staring at the ground.

“How could you not?” She asked, getting out of her bed, “You are like us, you should know! You do it yourself.”

He shifted uncomfortably, “I guess, I just thought I was special somehow.” He thought about that half-truth the moment it left his lips.

“Well, I guess you know you aren’t, huh?” She asked playfully, “Anything else you want to research?”

He glanced sidelong at her. Was she serious? “I…” He paused because he realized that to not sound offending he would have to word this carefully. After a few moments he lifted his head to be even with hers, “What is love?” He asked finally.

The female program stared into his emerald eyes, noting that his were the same color as her own. She had to think about this question that he posed, for of course she knew what love was. It was a feeling that was nearly impossible to put into words. She put her hand on her chin and began to think. She had never felt love herself before, but she knew she was capable of it, as she had gotten angry and had felt affection.

“Love is nearly impossible to explain in words…” She began slowly, “The closest thing that comes to mind is a deep affection, but it’s a very complicated emotion and word…” She paused because she didn’t know what else to say. Could it be this program, while a cute one, had a “thing” for her?

He looked at her still, with the same stare, a stare that could see into souls. He put his hand on his heart, which was an icon that was on all the programs. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Thank you.” He said.

“Why?” She asked, growing slightly nervous, or rather a feeling she couldn’t identify but attributed to nervousness.

“For telling me what love is.” He said calmly, his eyes still closed, “You have proven to me that… I am only as special as my unique abilities that every one of us has.” He opened his eyes and smirked. “I love you.” He said as he stepped backwards into the portcullis, leaving her homepage and her to her thoughts.

~Cyril~
_________________
Though some would contest the point that the words I have spoken mean naught, I choose to believe that the words I do speak will reach the souls of all those who choose to internalize their message. Such is with my music, my voice and my own heart.
~Connor Pelkey (Cyril Ookami)~

[Elizabeth]

Aww, what a sweet fic!

It's cute and deep at the same time. Great work!

[SSHiei]

Very nicely done. Excellent job on expressing Megaman's emotions.
_________________


Credit goes to Hikari Angel for the sig!

[Fortex]

Wow, really great, love essence
_________________
Your last word will become the word that will always be remembered by anybody

[Midnight]

Well, better late than never, I suppose. Yeah, I pledged that I would review this by Saturday, but I forgot. My apologies. Whatever I put here will be just an excuse, so I'm not going to bother.

I'm glad that you took my initial advice to heart about keeping the fic as-is when publishing it--the draft was really quite good. It's not so much fluff as I've seen before on FF.net, which is a good thing. The romance is there, though implied, and I feel that it's a lot stronger than just letting it explicitly come out.

The context was good, and there was the right balance of flow and introspection. Good job.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[RT-fact]

Good job! This fiction has an impressive depth that ties between your own philosophy and Rockman's experiences. Despite only seeing his love so superficial, you gave the reason why.

[Kitty-Chan]

This is really fascinating.
_________________
Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*