OT: Thinking, Ryuusei One Shot, G, SPOILERS

mi

A little One Shot I wrote after watching the latest episodes of Ryuusei no Rockman, in particular, eps 26 and 27. Hope you like it!! ^_^
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Subaru sighed heavily and flopped down onto the grass. The sun had just set, casting the world into twilight, the first stars appearing in the ever-darkening sky. The young boy stared wistfully at the single star twinkling feebly above him. He loved to come here to the water front and just unwind, while gazing either at the sky or the buildings across the river. His own private oasis in a sea of steel and concrete.

He’d been here a lot lately, ever since it had happened. He tried to force down the twisting feeling of longing and loss, but it was no good.

“Father,” he muttered to himself.

How long had it been now? Four months? Five? Hoshikawa Daigo had been missing since the ‘accident’ on the space station. Everyone thought he was dead.

‘He’s not,’ Subaru thought fiercely to himself.

Since the accident, he just couldn’t bring himself to believe his father’s life had really been taken. His mind told him that there was no other explanation, but his heart screamed in protest, denying all logic and reason.

And Subaru wasn’t one to ignore his heart.

He closed his eyes as he pushed his feelings aside, pulling down the glasses from his forehead to cover his eyes. Slowly opening them again, he quietly observed the patterns of light streaming across the sky. The glasses were special. The Visualiser: an invention developed by his father, allowing humans to see radio waves and the Denpa world as glowing shapes and patterns. It was the only thing the search-and-rescue team had recovered from his father’s space station. They’d been entrusted to him by Amachi-san, to look after them, until his father returned.

Subaru twitched involuntarily as the memory of that day flooded back into his mind. Amachi-san had looked so sad, and his mother…

“Stop it!” he told himself furiously, sitting up suddenly, pummelling the ground with his fist. He squashed the mingled feelings of guilt and regret down mercilessly. He had to be strong, for his mother’s sake, for his father’s sake, and for himself. He couldn’t afford to get caught up in an emotional whirlwind, not since this new responsibility that had been thrust upon him. The responsibility to protect the world from the FM Seijin bent on destroying it.

He frowned slightly at this thought. He still found it amazing that he was a normal fifth grade student one minute; Virus-busting, FM-Seijin-butt-kicking Denpa-human the next. And all of this thanks to him being in this very spot at exactly the right time.

This was where he had met War Rock.

It was still strange for him to recall it. He had been half curious and half terrified. War Rock had rubbed off on him. Sure he’s loud, head-strong, tactless, and on occasion, extremely annoying; but he definitely made up for it in loyalty, determination, knowledge and experience.

Through the craziness of their meeting and the events that followed, they had forged a bond that was growing stronger every day. And yet that bond had already been put to the test. War Rock knew something about what happened to his father, Subaru knew, but he was tight-lipped and as stubborn as ever on the subject.

‘Could this possibly be called friendship?’ Subaru thought to himself quietly. ‘Aren’t friends supposed to trust each other?’

He stopped as that thought occurred to him. He did trust War Rock. He trusted him with his life, but War Rock… he was still hiding things. War Rock was definitely present at the Space Station, Cygnus Wing had confirmed that, even if he had lied about War Rock being his father’s murderer. After the shock had warn off, and the anger subsided, Subaru had found that he couldn’t really blame War Rock for what had happened. So why doubt him now?

“Ne, Subaru?”

Subaru jumped violently.

“M-mou, War Rock,” he said turning to face the FM Seijin next to him. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry.”

Silence, then

“Were you thinking about your Dad?”

“Yeah…”

Subaru glanced sideways at the Denpa alien. War Rock’s head was tilted upwards, his eyes directed at the stars, but not really seeing them.

“We’ll find him,” he said quietly, not taking his eyes off the sky.

Subaru turned his own eyes to the sky.

“Yeah, I know we will.”
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"There is no coincidence, only Hitsuzen" Yuko, xxxHolic

Banner's done by me.
Awesome Japanese Rockman.exe fanart site that I found!! http://www18.ocn.ne.jp/~yurikago/

Unknown Neo · Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:50 pm Post subject:

Well that's a nice story. There's some emotion behind that. Real nice work with it.

**Sol** · Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:05 pm Post subject:

...Neo, haven't we gone over this so many times that it would be pointless to go over it again?

Warned. Stop it with the one-liners. I mean it.
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<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

RT-fact · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:46 am Post subject:

Sol> In my opinion, a small review could be any review for the writer to know how the people feel when reading the story, so it is better than nothing. Besides, this is probably the single forum with rules against short posts I've ever been in.

Anyway, mi, I've read your story and have to say that it's well described and fits with the anime series. However, I think it's pretty short and also think that you must have lost some grip on further details near the end. Oh well, one shot is one shot after all... There won't be a continuation on this story, no?

**Sol** · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 3:34 am Post subject:

(Sorry for the topic hijack, mi. D=)

Actually, the general rule across the whole board is that posts can NOT be simple one liners, as they are looked upon as spam. It's just more prominent in the Fanfic Library because one line reviews are non-contructive and have no substance in them. While reviews don't have to be paragraphs long, they cannot be so short that it doesn't really say much about the story itself.

There are a couple of reasons why we have that rule in place, mainly because it actually stops people from just spamming stories with inane one line posts just to boost their post count. Also, speaking as an author myself, many authors want feedback about what they liked about the story.

So, to sum it up, one line posts are pretty much spammish. We'll overlook a few instances of it, but when it gets constant because a poster is posting just for the sake of posting, then action needs to be taken.
_________________

<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

Midnight · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 4:40 am Post subject:

RT-fact · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:13 am Post subject:

(Apologies for invading, too Sad

)
Maybe you say that their reason is to boost the post count, that might be true in some cases. But in my view; if I would write a feedback to the fan fiction-writer, I do this because I want to voice my opinion whether long or short, not because of the post counts (I don't check them anymore, to tell the truth). Perhaps there are other people like me, too.
Can I ask you one thing: Is it better to have a fan fiction that gets one line feedback, or getting no feedback at all?

TheWebbuilder · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:57 am Post subject:

About the story: I found it to be fairly well written. I liked the way you described Subaru's reverie what with your well-placed use of adjectives and description; I found myself identifying with him because of that. Most of the emotions and feelings were fairly well described and did well to mark the struggle that took place within Subaru's mind...

But I don't think that you went far enough. While most of the individual thoughts and story segments were done well, the overall story felt very... shallow. Subaru switched gears from depressed to mildly hopeful a little too fast, and before I could adapt to that change, the story was over.

My only other point of concern was the lack of any physical description. I didn't know where Subaru was because it was never described, until you said that he was at the shoreline of Episode 2 I had no point of reference on where he was located. A little more description of Subaru and his surroundings would have helped in that regard.

In short: a nice ficlet, fairly well done. Congrats.

mi · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 12:00 pm Post subject:

Well, thanks for the reviews guys... and I don't really mind about the forum hijack too much. I generally agree with getting a long, detailed review as opposed to the one liners. Not to say recieving a one liner isn't okay occasionally...

Anyways, after reading my story again, I kinda realised it is a bit rushish at the end... >.> I might go over it again and see if I can do a re-write. Get a bit more in there detail wise too. Thanks for the tips guys!
_________________
"There is no coincidence, only Hitsuzen" Yuko, xxxHolic

Banner's done by me.
Awesome Japanese Rockman.exe fanart site that I found!! http://www18.ocn.ne.jp/~yurikago/

Unknown Neo · Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:06 pm Post subject:

And just for reference again, I always have no idea how that happens and thus, I try to stretch out my posts just so they don't look too small. But the real point of this topic is that mi did a very good job with this fic and it has some real emotion in it. Now how bout we stop talking about the posts and continue telling mi how they did a good job with this?