Adver Man (23: The Search for the Chibi-Neko)
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Azuregore
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Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Posts: 149
Location: I can't tell. Give me an atlas.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hm...Slur and Serenade being best friends...now THAT has to mean SOMETHING...XD
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May
Net Battler



Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 54
Location: New England

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, you really are getting on with the story ^^; Anyways, I liked it~ OOC Slur and Serenade in a good way =) Keep it up.
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WarpObscura
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 87

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The 12th chapter was strangely emotive for this comedy. The 13th was... disturbing. Oh yes.
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Roy Tanaka
The Queen of France



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 248
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 6:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh heh. The recent chapters were hilarious. Just got caught up.

:D Me likes.

Oh, and, *pokes for the sake of it*
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Sigma.exe
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Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Posts: 57
Location: Forever lost in perpetual motion

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whoopy yippy-oh kie-yay.

Scammed by a credit card scandal. A tough midterm exam. Coming home and getting scolded by my parents for getting scammed...which is really the wrong party to get mad at, don'cha know. ALL IN THE SAME WEEK. Geez...aside from the credit card thing, I never understood midterms or finals. I mean, in the good old days, school used to just...END. Now that I'm in college, they expect me to actually remember everything.

Oddly enough, these are the situations at which I am at the peak of my creative potential. So without further ado...and hopefully without further headaches...Part 14, Forced Gluttony. Not nearly as tragic as part 12, but quite dramatic. No spoilers, no offensive language, nothing suggestive. So read on and enjoy, my thrill-seeking friends.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2338812/14/

And by the way, Roy Tanaka...OUCH. :D
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I know the guy who lives next to me. He is a useless, good-for-nothing freeloader who sits in front of his computer all day and does nothing but eat, sleep, and ponder his mundane existence.

...Now why on earth would my neighbor say that about me?!
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Roy Tanaka
The Queen of France



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 248
Location: [insert something witty here]

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Ph33r me 4 I poke u!!!!!!1111oneone

Just kidding ^_^

Yay new chapter! Forced Gluttony is...so...incredibly powerful and dangerous! I liked it. Razz

Quote:
“Netto…we’ve been at this for hours,”


That is NOT something I want to hear after a mention of the bathroom. *shot*
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Azuregore
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Joined: 20 Mar 2005
Posts: 149
Location: I can't tell. Give me an atlas.

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"The ultimate tragic end is...BEING EATEN TO DEATH!"

XD

Oh, and you have a typo as well:

"Anzan unveiled a small book that, once opened, revealed a set of Navis with outrageously huge, muscular bodies."

By reading this chapter, I could sum this up in a sentence: ...this whole thing sounds like what would happen if you happen to be over-dieting to me. *shrugs* But I admire the humor and creativity put into this, nevertheless. And you say you typed this up while you have academic stuff (and the scandal) stuffed inside your brain?? Hm...*goes out to ponder these thoughts* Laughing
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Sigma.exe
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Joined: 26 Mar 2005
Posts: 57
Location: Forever lost in perpetual motion

PostPosted: Sat Apr 30, 2005 2:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aaaaannnnd it's fixed. Thanks for pointing that out to me, AzureGore. Funny thing. Enzan's name always shows up as a typo on my computer, no matter HOW it's spelled. But to avoid the confusion, yah. For now, everything's fixed, at least for now.

After the whole ordeal and all that, I went out and ate so much I had trouble walking it off. That's kinda where I got the idea for this chapter. You know that feeling where you eat so much that you have trouble breathing? A gallon of Rocky Road after a breakup? That's it. So yes, Roy Tanaka. Forced Gluttony IS dangerous. Do not make my mistakes.
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I know the guy who lives next to me. He is a useless, good-for-nothing freeloader who sits in front of his computer all day and does nothing but eat, sleep, and ponder his mundane existence.

...Now why on earth would my neighbor say that about me?!
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WarpObscura
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2005 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The evil! It scares us, yes...

It's a nice chapter, but kinda freaky too...
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Sigma.exe
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Joined: 26 Mar 2005
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Location: Forever lost in perpetual motion

PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2005 7:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Agreed, W-O. Even by my weird standards, Chapter 14 was freaky. But in between the slapstick comedy, a little drama (or by your judgment, freakiness) would be necessary, just so the story maintains a good flow.

Speaking of which, it's time to keep the plot flowing with the newest edition...The Calm Before the Dinner! It's time for Kenishiro to teach his minions a new something-something as Netto trains hard. Nothing you wouldn't expect out of either side. Hope y'all like!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2338812/15/
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I know the guy who lives next to me. He is a useless, good-for-nothing freeloader who sits in front of his computer all day and does nothing but eat, sleep, and ponder his mundane existence.

...Now why on earth would my neighbor say that about me?!
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WarpObscura
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2005 8:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooh shadowy fellow.

The ending line made me go all like "WTF". :eyes:

Good chapter, once again.
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Elizabeth
Net Agent


Age: 38
Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 221
Location: Wherever I happen to be right now

PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2005 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder - would Hungry be able to consume all of Angry's attacks if they were turned against each other? I'm sure it's safe to ask this because it's too cliched to actually happen in the fic.
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Roy Tanaka
The Queen of France



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 248
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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2005 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cliffhanger!!! >_<

Yay! Y'know, that was great. The last line was so cliffhangery.... T_T

Forced Gluttony and Spoiled Baby... where do you come up with this?? :D
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Sigma.exe
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Joined: 26 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2005 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WarpObscura: Agreed, the drama is rather out-of-place, considering this is, or at least WAS meant to be a comedy. But now that we're nearing the end of the Adver Metools and getting close to the climactic Adver Man battle, you'll probably see more cliffhangers coming. At the very least, more drama. But that doesn't mean the Sigma-style comedy won't keep on comin'.

Well, Roy Tanaka, Forced Gluttony was the result of me getting depressed suddenly and eating so much I could hardly breathe. Thought I would explode, but I ended up burping...go figure, I guess. And Spoiled Baby was the result of me babysitting (my part-time gig), and the little brat threw so much oatmeal in my face I could hardly recognize myself in the mirror. Inspiration comes best to those who apply it, I suppose.

Ya know, Elizabeth, I've been pondering that question myself. I don't think they would attack each OTHER, or who knows, maybe Hungry owes Angry some Zenny...I don't want to say anything yet, as that would be providing a spoiler to my own fanfic! What I can tell you so far is that Angry and Hungry are equally powerful...so pretty much anything could happen. In fact, I don't even know what'll result from that...not until it's written.

Uh oh...yet another cliffhanger, and this one's not even in the story! Better run before the tension builds too high.


***IMPORTANT UPDATE*** I'm leaving for an internship to Thailand this coming Friday. In the meantime, I'm hiring another person to take control of this story and work with me to write it. He's my cousin, and you can rest assured he'll know what to do with it. (The guy even shares my computer!) You can also be assured he has my sense of humor; I mean, the guy taught me pretty much everything I know about comedy. He even does a stand-up routine! I'd tell you about it, but that would be advertising, wouldn't it?

Anyway, until I get back, I hand the mantle over to my cousin, who is, as he calls it, "taking over the family business."
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I know the guy who lives next to me. He is a useless, good-for-nothing freeloader who sits in front of his computer all day and does nothing but eat, sleep, and ponder his mundane existence.

...Now why on earth would my neighbor say that about me?!
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Vanilla_Go_Rilla
I Used to Be Sexy



Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 776
Location: Lumine av. (c) meh

PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The French like to say, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Change is good. Especially in your pocket. Dollars are even better.

Ahem…that said, following Sigma.exe’s change in leadership, I introduce myself as this fanfic’s temporary Editor-in-Chief. I am Vanilla_Go_Rilla, Sigma.exe’s cousin, amateur stand-up comedian, and fellow EXE fan. The one who got him hooked on the series, in fact. I see he even left some dirty gossip about me, that trickster. I’ll be covering for him while he’s in Thailand, learning about business. Or eating Thai food. Or maybe doing business with Thai food. Knowing him, it’s probably a choice between the latter two.

I’m quite honored to temporarily continue Sigma.exe’s masterpiece here. I’ve gone over it and can say without flattery that it’s one of the best he’s written. I’ll write the new chapters, he’ll edit and send them back, and then I’ll post for you to read. Right now Sigma’s in a hotel where he’s only allowed five minutes at a time to use the computer. Five minutes. Most bathroom breaks (you know, the ones requiring reading material) take longer than that!

Sooo…plot-wise, we’re in the middle of the conflict with Kenishiro’s powerful Adver Metools. Dopey has already bit the dust in an unnecessarily tragic way, and Slappy was flirted back into the URA-net by none other than Serenade-chan. Happy’s farting around, waiting for his turn. As for Angry and Hungry…they’re so evil they tortured everyone with a cliffhanger in 15. Now you’ll see once and for all the thrilling conclusion to the clash of the titans! Introducing Part 16: Forced Gluttony vs. Spoiled Baby!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2338812/16/
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Azuregore
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Joined: 20 Mar 2005
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Location: I can't tell. Give me an atlas.

PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 7:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, the worst of the Adver Metools has YET TO COME! BWAH!

Like the sunset ending..."Way to ruin it, soldier"

XD
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WarpObscura
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 8:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Love the update! The worst is yet to come...
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Roy Tanaka
The Queen of France



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 248
Location: [insert something witty here]

PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You share the same brain as your cousin. :D

Nice! It was funny, and even serious (a bit)! Excellent, and I love the ending.
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Vanilla_Go_Rilla
I Used to Be Sexy



Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 776
Location: Lumine av. (c) meh

PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2005 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed, A-G and W-O, the worst one IS yet to come. The worst one of all, in fact. And to Roy Tanaka, a brilliant deduction. You must have visited the lab the day we were engineered.

And now...the most humiliating experience ever. Imagine the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anyone. Multiply by two. What I have done (or more accurately, what Happy has done) to Netto in this chapter is simply humiliating beyond words. Read on if you dare.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2338812/17/
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WarpObscura
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PostPosted: Sun May 08, 2005 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ab-so-lute-ly brilliant, despite the brevity of the chapter!

Now, you had better bump up the rating for your next chapter, if Lan's gonna be really pissy and do nasty stuff in his battle against Happy. Razz
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