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Slifer. EXE The Rurrjurr?
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 495 Location: Hey, look behind you! *steals your wallet*
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:33 pm Post subject: Shun's death (Humor/PG-13?) |
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It was a magical evening, everyone was laughing except one, this person’s name was Shun. For Shun was in an ambulance.
~EARLIER~
Netto and his friends were at a party. Today was Shuns birthday and they were celebrating without him because it was also the day everyone would torture him, they stole presents from his mail box, disconnected his phone, and kept everyone as far away from him as possible, to everyone in Akihara it was the most wonderful time of the year.
“Okay, okay, okay” said Meiru in a quick, relaxed tone “So then he says ‘sometimes, I forget what my parents look like’ and he had this depressed face like,” Meiru looked at the ground with her eyes half closed, she was trying to frown but she couldn‘t help it, she burst out laughing with everyone else “It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen”
Yaito took a deep breath she laughed so hard that she could hardly breath, “Hold on, hold on, hold on,” she said in the same tone as Meiru “Do that face again one more time.”
“I can’t, *snicker* I’m sorry but I’ll laugh to ha-” Meiru was rolling on the floor laughing when she saw Netto doing the face.
~MEANWHILE~
Shun was kicking a rock on the street, staring at the chalk pictures little kids drew on the sidewalk. It was a tradition to little kids to draw stick figures of kids standing next to a mom and dad. There were crayon pictures visible from each window, chalk pictures on almost every sidewalk square (ßWhat’s it called?), when someone saw Shun walking by from their house every one would gather to make a silhouette of a happy family and they would laugh, some people had a different mail box for this day with decorations of kids on Christmas (this was semi appropriate because Shuns birthday was in December), there were billboards with happy families, usually an ad for a ski resort because that was the best excuse anyone could come up with.
Shun sighed and put on the face that people loved to laugh at. “If only my parents were here,” Shun imagined all his friends at his house and his mother bringing in a birthday cake, everyone singing the birthday song. Unfortunately what Shun never knew is that his parents hated him…
~SOME AMOUNT OF YEARS AGO~
“Oh I’m so glad we’re finally away from that kid” said Shuns mom, his parents were on a plane to France.
“I can’t believe that he believed our story, ‘Were going to meet a client of mine in Puerto Rico. You’re a big boy now, you can take care of yourself, right?’” said Shun’s dad laughing a little. What they were really doing was abandoning him.
“Oh, I KNOW, he’ll believe anything that we tell him,” Said his Mom laughing “It’s so amazing that we could convince him that we love him”
Shun’s dad laughed “Hey, you know what could be fun? It would crush his heart if he thought we were dead.”
“Hey, that’s a great idea!” his mom said as his dad walked away to the cockpit with a suit case.
His dad knocked on the door “Hello~” the door didn’t move “I’ve come to give you money~” the door opened up quickly .
“Waddya want?” The co-pilot said in a grouchy tone.
“Sorry, he’s a little-” The pilot made a drinking motion “So what is it?”
“I’ve come because I want you to crash this plane” He opened the briefcase.
“I’m sorry but I won’t crash the plane just for some money, I won’t be able to use it if I’m dead.”
“Well what about…” Shuns dad reached into his pocket. The pilot was afraid that he was pulling out a weapon. But he pulled out something worse than any weapons combined “…THIS!” It was a picture of Shun.
“OH MY GOD!!! I HATE THAT KID JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM!! OH MY @#$@!$% GOD!” The pilot immediately made the plane crash.
~PRESENT~
Mariko was running a carpool for the party, she was driving a car and Shuuko and Torhu were in the back. Mariko was uber excited but sad that she was late.
Shun was waiting for the DON’T WALK sign to change. He saw Mariko coming and Mariko saw him he had a devilish look on her face. The two in the back were saying “Let’s get him!” repeatedly, Mariko wanted to but she needed the right time. Lucky for Shuuko, she got a video camera installed into her PET and started it up. Then before Shun could wave she ran him over, fast and hard. Mariko yelled out “YAAAAAY I KILLED HIM!!!” Happiness spread throughout the world and a huge rainbow somehow appeared.
“Let me see the bloody corpse!” Aquaman said excitedly.
“No, let me see him twitch!” Said Iceman in the same tone.
“Now, now,” said their ops, “patience is a virtue.” They saw and laughed.
One person saw this, that was because he was Shun’s stalker, the only one who cared about Shun, code named: Manga-Emperor-Three. Before he killed himself, he called 911 to pick up Shun when the ambulance found him they drove him off a cliff.
The rest of the night, people joked and watched the recording over and over again.
Torhu laughed and said “In his mind he was probably saying ‘Now I can be with my parents in Heaven.’” every one laughed.
TEH END!!!1!!!11!1!
:EDIT: Spelling corrected _________________ 98% of all teenagers have injected a mixture of morphine and crab urine into their eyeballs, if you're one of the 2% who gives a fig about these stupid made-up statistic messages, copy and paste this into your sig.
Last edited by Slifer. EXE on Wed May 18, 2005 6:58 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Midnight This is a Hilbert Space
Age: 37 Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 3089 Location: The AfterMath. Otherwise, New York City.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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*jawdrop*
I'm sorry, but this is terrible humor. I don't think that my thoughts of a good time is to revel in the drudgeries of another person. This story seems overly satirical, and its humor is quite sadistic. _________________ Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy
The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals
Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3 |
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Slifer. EXE The Rurrjurr?
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 495 Location: Hey, look behind you! *steals your wallet*
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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Midnight Critic wrote: | *jawdrop*
I'm sorry, but this is terrible humor. I don't think that my thoughts of a good time is to revel in the drudgeries of another person. This story seems overly satirical, and its humor is quite sadistic. | Hehehehe, thats kind of the point. _________________ 98% of all teenagers have injected a mixture of morphine and crab urine into their eyeballs, if you're one of the 2% who gives a fig about these stupid made-up statistic messages, copy and paste this into your sig. |
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Malik Local Prinny Deity
Age: 34 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1179
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:47 pm Post subject: |
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actually, I dared him to do it. People actually get away with things like this on Fanfiction.net, where they poke fun of other people.
As for critique, even though you did this probably at the spur of the moment, there's a lot of puncuation errors. I'm not entirely sure if I should lock this for sort of being a flame, but it doesn't directly flame anything. I should talk it over with Mari and Planty first. _________________
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Mari Elegantly Wasted
Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1025 Location: M.I.A.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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I do have an idea of what he's trying to flame - and I have to admit I'm looking forward to THAT XD; what a shame.
But it's okay for me.
Critique: Lots of spelling errors, correct 'em whenever you get the chance. _________________
Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome. |
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Anime Master ZERO Have you hugged your Shun today?
Age: 39 Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 1614 Location: A Place
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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That was absolutely horrendous. And I'm not just saying it because I'm a huge Shun fan. The way you wrote the story makes it sound like that you enjoy tormenting others to the point that you'd actually find taking their life to be nothing more than a joke. It's utterly sickening.
Admins and mods, this is NOT a flame. _________________
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Mari Elegantly Wasted
Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1025 Location: M.I.A.
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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Locking, 'cause admins said so. Don't troll next time. _________________
Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome. |
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Plantman It's only Forever... Not long at all!
Age: 44 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1819 Location: Mexico
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Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Little explanation first to avoid this happening again: It IS alright to try a satire about the death of a character in a humorous way. However when doing so try not to pick on someone directly or indirectly via the fanfic. Admins considered this trolling. _________________ Hecha en MÉXICO - Avatar by Me.
"Logic is the Ultimate Weapon." |
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