Rockman Zero Survivor

[CrossFusionStarman]

I'll put all of the chapters up right away since it just works out like that.

Author:CrossFusionStarman'
Title:Rockman Zero Survivor
Chapters:05 Genre:Humor(I forgot the initial)
A few Rockman Zero characters are stuck in a car and cannot get out. mild cursing and inapropriate words for those under the age of 11. No F-bombs. Please, read. I really enjoyed writing this.

MEGAMAN ZERO FANFIC
CAR SURVIVOR
BY yaoiandyurihater8

Chapter 01:Introduction.
***
Announcer: Welcome to Car Survivor, the game where we take some poor saps and stick them in a car with the hood down, and make them stay there. Today, we have some really special guests.

*Announcer points to the Corvette*

Announcer: Our first contestant is Zero, the legendary reploid who fought with X at more than 100 years ago.

Zero: *Gives the peace sign to the camera.*

Announcer: Second is Ciel, the brilliant human scientist who resurrected Zero and leads the resistance against the city of Neo Arcadia.

Ciel: What up Detroit!

Zero: Ciel, Detroit isn’t watching this program.

Announcer: Third, one of the guardians of Neo Arcadia, The fire element one, who we all can safely assume is a crazy man, We have Fefnir!

Fefnir: AND YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA MESS WIT ME!!!

Announcer: Fourth, the only guardian of Neo Arcadia who pansied out and joined with Zero and Ciel, and the only guardian whose gender has been mixed up several times, until it was revealed he was male: Harpuia.

Harpuia: *Pulls out twin plasma swords* You calling me a pansy?

Announcer: Fifth we have Leviathan, the only female guardian. She’s wet and wild.

Leviathan: Ooh, stop flattering me. You’re making me so hot!

Announcer: I can play with you anyday, Leviathan. Mmm…Yes. Anyways, we have the only guardian who died, but we brought him back for this reason only: Phantom.

Phantom: How much money do I get for this again?

Announcer: Last and least, is the one reploid who copied the legendary reploid X’s form because he sucks, Omega X.

Omega X: I do NOT suck.

Announcer: The rules are simple. The seven competitors must stay in the car, and cannot get out of it for any reason whatsoever. The last person remaining in the car wins the Corvette and 1,000,000,000 zenny.

*Fefnir reaches for the money in the trunk. A security guard slaps his hand.*

Announcer: Just to torture them, we parked the car in front of a 7-11 and a Dunkin’ Donuts. Let us begin the next game of Car Survivor.

*Crowd cheers*

Chapet 02: DAY 1

Announcer: It seems our contestants are ready for anything.

*Harpuia is staring outside, looking at random vehicles passing by. Fefnir is toying with his gun, Ciel is tinkering with Zero’s arm, Zero is looking through his collection of Cds, and Phantom and Omega X are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.*

Harpuia: This is so boring. I wish my posse’ was here.

Zero: You belong to a street gang?

Harpuia: Yep. They call themselves the Urban Cruisers.

*A van rides by with the words Urban Cruisers written on it. A guy rolls down a window*

Gang Member: Harpuia! What up, dawg?!?

Harpuia: *Waves* Fo’ Shizzle, yo!

Fefnir: You scare me.

Omega X: Dammit, I’m thirsty. Phantom, go get me a Dr. Pepper.

Phantom: Hell no. I’m not that stupid.

Omega X: Fine. I’ll get it myself. *Puts on battle armor and glides over to 7-11. Omega X thinks doors open automatically, but they don’t.*

CRASH!!!

*Omega X falls down and hits ground. Security guards come and take Omega X.*

Omega X: But, I was thirsty!

Security Guard: Didn’t you read Chapter 01?

Harpuia: Asshole.

Announcer: A new rule has been added. No type of flying allowed.

Fefnir: Well, Harpuia, looks like your advantage just got clipped.

Harpuia: *Gives Fefnir the bird*
***
Chapter 03: DAY 05
***
Announcer: One contestant has been removed, 6 remain. They’re getting restless.

Leviathan: This is soooo boring.

Ciel: Tell me about it.

Zero: *Playing Legend of Zelda: Four Swords linked up with Harpuia, Fefnir, and Phantom.* Really? I don’t think it’s boring.

Ciel: Hello? You’ve got a fricken Gameboy Advance SP with you!

Zero: You should’ve packed your GBA.

*Ciel flips through Zero’s CD collection. She pulls one out and puts it in.*

Ciel: What album is that?

Zero: It’s burned. *Zero’s Link picks up Phantom’s and throws him in a pit.*

Phantom: No fair!

*Ciel flips through songs.*

Leviathan: Ooh, Hoobastank. I love that group.

Ciel: Yeah, well I don’t.

*Ciel goes to next song.*

Leviathan: Oh, cool. In The End. Linkin’ Park is just as good.

Phantom: Leviathan? Linkin’ Park sucks.

*Leviathan picks up Phantom and throws him out of the car. Security guards come and take Phantom away.*

Announcer: 2 contestants eliminated. 5 remain.

Harpuia: You know, now that Phantom’s gone, what should we do with his GBA?

*Fefnir picks up Phantom’s GBA and puts it in the glove compartment.*

Fefnir: Hey, Zero. No cheap shots.

Zero: Screw you.

*Harpuia’s Link get’s the bow and arrow.*

Zero and Fefnir: OH SHIT!!!

*Zero and Fefnir’s Links die.*

Leviathan: It’s sad how you guys are addicted to GBA games like they’re crack.

*In The End stops, and the next song plays.*

Fefnir: Is that the Numa Numa Dance?

Zero: What? It’s catchy.

*Zero starts to sing along with the Numa Numa Dance, until Harpuia slaps him and changes the song.*

Harpuia: WOAH, you got Van Morrison? Is this Dancing In the Moonlight? I love this song!!!
***
Chapter 04: DAY 10
***
Announcer: Our remaining contestants have been going days without food and water. They try to eat parts of the car.

*Zero takes a bite out of the steering wheel, chews it, and spits it out.*

Zero: Harpuia, you liar! This ain’t no corn dog!

Leviathan: Okay, hypothetical question. Suppose, hypothetically, I drown some innocent reploid. Would I go to jail?

*Cop Car sirens blare*

Police: Leviathan, you’re under arrest for murder. We heard what you said.

Leviathan: That wasn’t me. That was her. *Points to Ciel.*

*Coppers grab Ciel.*

Ciel: But I didn’t do it! I’M INNOCENT!

*Ciel gets stuffed in a sack and carried away.*

Zero: Leviathan, you bitch, why didn’t you confess?

Leviathan: Like I’m gonna get thrown in jail.

Fefnir: She learned her reverse psychology from a TV show.

Zero: Oh yeah? Well I learned this from a TV show. OSUWARI!!!

*Zero shoves Leviathan hard. She flies out of car and gets carried away.*

Announcer: 3 contestants remain. Zero, the old reploid. Harpuia, the most sexually confused person I’ve ever seen, and Fefnir, the crazy asshole.

Zero and Fefnir: I’m gonna kill that announcer.

Harpuia: I’m a male dammit!

*Harpuia puts his head in his hands and sobs. Zero puts his arm around Harpuia.*

Zero: I feel your pain.
***
Chapter 05: Finale.
***
Announcer: It is Day 78. The 3 remaining contestants are tired of each other. They argue over trivial things.

*Zero, Fefnir, and Harpuia are playing poker.*

Fefnir: I got a straight flush! *puts down cards*

*Harpuia’s speech is slurred, and he hiccups occasionally.*

Harpuia: Oh…oh yeah? I got a @#$%&^* Royal Flush!

*Lays down cards. They’re all 1’s.*

Zero: Um, Harpuia? That isn’t a Royal Flush.

Harpuia: Yeah…well…I think…I think it… ABCs…sing along…

*Harpuia falls into a coma from drunken stupor. He falls onto the car floor. Several Corona and Bud Light bottles shatter.*

Fefnir: …

Zero: I ain’t touching the carcass.
***
Announcer: It is Day 100. It is a surprise the remaining contestants are still alive. They all smell like shit from the lack of showering and deoderant.

Fefnir: You ever take a crap so large your pants fit better?

*Harpuia and Zero gag and make disgusted groans.*

Zero: That’s a little too personal.

Harpuia: Quit being so obnoxious.

*Fefnir puts in a Limp Biskit CD.*

Fefnir: OH MY GOD You have Rollin’ on this CD?!?

*Fefnir stands up and sings the lyrics at the top of his lungs.*

Fefnir: Harpuia, sing along!

Harpuia: Kiss my ass.

*Fefnir shrugs and resumes singing. He shouts a word that can’t be said not even on South Park unless it’s bigger, longer, and uncut.*

Harpuia: Did he just say that?

Zero: *Nods.* Get outta the damn car.

*Zero shoves Fefnir out of the car. Security comes and takes Fefnir away. Fefnir curses repeatedly at the top of his lungs.*

Announcer: All but Harpuia and Zero remain. Who will win this Corvette and it’s 1,000,000,000 zenny?

*A dog walks up to the car and barks.*

Zero: Scat, you mongrel.

*The dog starts to take a pee on the car.*

Zero: OH CRAP!!!

*Zero stabs the ground right next to the dog with his Z-Saber, and the dog runs away.*

Harpuia: What happened?

Zero: A stupid dog just took a piss on the car.

*Harpuia swears*
***
Announcer: It is day 110, people. I’m surprised we still even have a contest going on, here.

*One person claps. Snoring can be heard.*

Harpuia: Zero.

*Zero is playing Rockman Zero on his GBA*

Zero: Damn, I look so hot on this GBA.

*Harpuia looks at the screen.*

Harpuia: I look sexy on it too, but that’s not the point. Pause it for a sec.

Zero: *pauses the game* Yeah?

Harpuia: You and I are the most intelligent people here. We’re not gonna get out of this car, so how about we just play Rock, Paper, Scissors for the win?

*Zero starts to nod, but notices something on the floor.*

Zero: I have a better idea. See that thing by your foot?

*Harpuia looks down.*

Harpuia: Which one, the car keys or the condom?

Zero: The car keys. Turn the car on.

*Harpuia turns the car on. Zero and Harpuia grin at each other.*

Harpuia: You thinking Vegas?

Zero: Yup.

Announcer: Wait! You can’t do that!

*Zero and Harpuia drive out of parking lot, security guards and police chase them.*

Zero: Chicks, booze, money, HERE I COME!

Harpuia: VEGAS OR BUST!

*Harpuia and Zero cheer as they drive the Corvette off.*

Announcer: *sigh.* Next time, take the keys out of the car, you idiot.

Security Guard: Sorry.

EL FIN.
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[Plantman]

One little request for you, please try to keep all your finished fanfics into only one topic/thread, editing the first post's title so you can announce the update of the fanfics. As you seem to have several fanfics finished, it's better if you create only one thread to avoid pushing down the fanfics of other people that haven't finished theirs yet. Thanks in advance.
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"Logic is the Ultimate Weapon."

[Plantman]

One little request for you, please try to keep all your finished fanfics into only one topic/thread, editing the first post's title so you can announce the update of the fanfics. As you seem to have several fanfics finished, it's better if you create only one thread to avoid pushing down the fanfics of other people that haven't finished theirs yet. Thanks in advance.
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Hecha en MÉXICO - Avatar by Me.
"Logic is the Ultimate Weapon."

[moocowbob44]

Did you get that idea from "THE AMANDA SHOW" it is ALOT like it especially the end!
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Credit for the sig goes to Hikari Angel
credit for the avatar goes to Meta

[CrossFusionStarman]

Guilty ^^;. I watched that about two years ago on tv and I wanted to make a Rockman survivor and remembered that so I thought "Hey what the hell? This'll be fun."
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[Midnight]

As a long-time standing fan of the actual show of Survivor, I find this half-baked. I can forgive a bit since it is a rip of the Amanda Show, which ripped it in turn quite horrifically from the actual show, and I found it to be quite reminiscent of the skit I have seen once.

The title is misleading. I thought you would make a fic based on the true game, but hardly anyone watches it nowadays.

Nevertheless, this turned out to be a fair job.
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Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[CrossFusionStarman]

Thanks for the honesty. I'll admit, I could've done a lot better. Oh well, now to work on my current one. Keep reading, people!
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NT Champions. Click!

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