A Chilly Reception AA/PG-13 * Stream spoilers*

[ComicX6]

Well, this is my very first fanfic. Rated PG-13 for action violence and language. Contains Stream spoilers. Well, here goes...

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A Chilly Reception
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1

The blue navi assesed the situation. He was surrounded by four heelnavis, all ready for a fight. '' You think you can take on all of us by yourself? '' the leader asked. '' It's four-to-one bluie, you're toast.'' jeered another one. Cometman allowed himself a small smile. These were your typical gang members. Talked tough when in a group, be became cowards at the slightest sign of danger. Then he heard his operator's voice calmly say, '' Longblade and Areagrab, battlechips in, double download!'' Instantly, his right arm morphed into a long, pink sword. Then Areagrab came into effect, teleporting him in front of the gang leader. Before he could even yell out in fear, he had been impaled on the blade. With a strangled cry, his data turned into the word DELETE which then vanished. Cometman had expected the other heelnavis to flee upon their leader's deletion, but instead they started to attack him with default cannons. Looks like they aren't your typical gang after all. though Cometman. The stream from the shots created a huge explosion, covering the battlefield. When it cleared, Cometman was standing alone. Pieces of the navis, neatly sliced and diced, lay near him, until they too faded into deletion. ''Mission accomplished sir.'' he said. ''Good.'', his operator said. '' I'm jacking you out now.''

X sipped his coffee and closed his labtop as he jacked out Cometman. X wasn't his real name, of course. Only he, Cometman, and some of his superiors knew what it was. He was a Net Savior, the best in America even. Lately, however, he had been stuck eradicating petty street punks, as America hadn't had a major net crime in months. So, that was why he was currently in San Fransico. He had been visting the city on leave, when the mayor had begged him to stop the 'Gang of Four' , the group he had just beaten. He was unassuming in appearance, with brown hair and green eyes, and a plain expression. Cometman, his custom built navi, was light blue and, like many navis, human like. His emblem, which was on his chest as well as on either side of his helmet, was of a blue comet and three red stars on a black background. His helmet had a yellow, see-through visor, and three vertical ridges going toward the back of his head. He was well suited for combat, and had high analytical skills as well.

X paid for the coffee and slowly got up from his table. He was at an outdoor cafe where he had gained access to San Fransico's netcity. He had already sent an e-mail to the mayor of his success, and wanted to leave before the mayor tried to give him an award, he already had eight for various ' good deeds '. Soon though, he would recieve an e-mail from the higher ups, sending him to God knows where. Sometimes, he got tired of that.

'' Dammit '' he said a little later, '' I need a real assignment, not be some greedy mayor's bitch, I need a major crisis or something.'' '' Careful X,'' warned Cometman, '' Be careful what you wish for.'' '' Well, I'm sure you're bored too.'' said X, taking out his Progress PET. '' Maybe I am,'' replied Cometman, '' but you don't see me wishing ill will on us.'' At that moment, the PET beeped to indicate new mail. A holographic screen appeared, showing Cometman standing next to several status screens. '' Mail.'' he said. '' Open it.'' said X. The screen filled with a stream of text. Cometman scanned it. '' I think you've got your wish...''

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Well, that is chap 1. I'll be posting chap 2 soon. How'd you like it so far? Feedback is appreciated.

EDIT: fixed some grammer mistakes.
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' I don't care if the buzz isn't real- I can roleplay being drunk!'

- Balmung, .hack vol. 1

I now have a site! Web page rather: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1048042/

[Neko]

Okay, you've got a fairly strong plot so I'm going to point out these things instead.

Only ONE person can speak per aparagraph. If a new person talks make a new paragraph, this is 7th Grade English.

Try and space things a little more. Makes it so much easier to read.

Other then that, I love the concept. Very interesting.
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Avatar, credit Yakitate@devart

[ComicX6]

YES! Positive feedback! I'm so happy! :D

Oh, about the X character, he originally was the main protaginist(sp?) of a comic that I started in the sixth grade which was called Agent X -_-; , and I still draw it to this day. Cometman is a navi I made up a few months back. Critique away.
_________________
' I don't care if the buzz isn't real- I can roleplay being drunk!'

- Balmung, .hack vol. 1

I now have a site! Web page rather: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1048042/