Never Ending Summer Hu/AA *stream* FINISHED

Shinnite · Joined: 22 Jun 2005 Posts: 5

Hmmm........In all honesty, Neko-san, the ending was anti-climatic. The story itself was good - everything from the fake email to reprogramming the navi was all nicely done and leading up to, what seemed to be, a somewhat dramatic finish. I hate giving people bad reviews, but in my honest opinion the ending fell flat.

I'd like to say that I know this wasn't the case before hand, but it seemed as though Meijin-san and the Net Police showing up was just a convenient out. Its as though you wrote yourself into a corner, or suddenly lost interest in the fic itself, because all the driving force behind the ending just...stopped. An extra chapter would have done wonders, most likely.

Not that it wasn't nice to see someone other than Netto, Enzan, and Laika save the day. Just that the ending actually wasn't built up towards that scenario.

The story was still an enjoyable read, Neko-san. And, despite the ending, I'm definitely looking forward to the sequel, for whenever it comes out. ^_^

Neko · Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:17 pm Post subject:

Sorry about that, but I didn't WANT Enzan, Netto and Laika to save the day and seriously, I never intended it that way. Sorry if it changed direction to quickly on you.

I never wanted this fic to *have* a climatic ending. It wasn't that kind of fic, I don't know if people have exceptencited I'm not metting or what but I have to say this. I take any and all critisism in a stride when it has to do with my intentions and they came out wrong, however, Never Ending Summer wasn't meant for some huge battle to the finish. And... up until now I didn't think I wrote it out that way :/

This fic... ended the way it started and that's what I was aiming for. Now if that didn't happen, my god tell me and I'll try and do something about it. But, Maki and Dream and everyone else aren't suppoused to be in some huge epic battle story because they aren't charachters ment for that ideal. My one shot consists of Maki-chan's birthday party if that says anything. I know I brought up dark qurstions, but it wasn't about the battle or the way it ended.

However, I see what you're saying and I'm very sorry to have dissapointed you. Hope the one shots and eventual sequel make up for it.
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Lido Azn Girl · Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:22 pm Post subject:

Yes, I haven't left a review for ages. >_< But I have been reading your fic.

I was thinking that Netto and co. would save the day but oh well. You're the author. Congrats on finishing the fic, Neko. :D I look forward to the sequel later on. I really enjoyed reading this fic.
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Shinnite · Joined: 22 Jun 2005 Posts: 5

Well, that wasn't what I was trying to say. *Massive sweatdrop* I wasn't thinking there would be some huge, gigantic battle and things like that. It's just that, the way you were writing the confrontation scene, it was gearing itself up toward something different. About Mejin-san and everyone else saving the day, I loved that idea and I wouldn't want that to change.

But it just seemed like in one chapter it was "onnoes we took your navi, suckers" and in the next, hey, it doesn't matter anyway because the dimensional area suddenly breaks up without warning and they're back in their PETs. If the focus had shifted just a little in the last chapter towards Mejin and everyone trying to get the dimensional area down, its sudden loss wouldn't have been so..."out there" is probably the best phrase.

The fluff was cute, and the very end was nicely done. It was just that final confrontation that seemed a little weak.

Midnight · Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:28 am Post subject:

<Meijin-esque voice> Please, Neko, just call me Midnight. And why in hell would I want to murder you? </Meijin-esque voice>

I have to agree with Shinnite here--I was, to be blunt, disappointed with the ending. If it is okay with you I would like to post my original comments that I sent you--for reference purposes only. Like she said I was hoping for a final conflict...and well...you know already. I told you in my beta review. It's OK, though, since I know that it seems that you took some of my advice to heart. Even if the changes are not very apparent, I know that you tried your best to accomodate for your criticism.

And now, for some final thoughts:

Nevertheless, I found this story to be quite well-executed. My only gripe is that when I look at it from the big picture, I see a sagging arch--it starts off very exciting and moves along quite well, but it loses its momentum in the middle, and it picks right back up on the way back to the end. Although I have no qualms with that, it seems to rob the story of some of its impact--it gets stodgy in the middle and people begin to lose interest a bit.

I am, however, looking quite forward to the sequel and your other works. This is still a fine piece of work, and congratulations on finishing it.
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Neko · Posted: Sat Jul 09, 2005 8:12 am Post subject:

Well, now you guys know what I mean when I say honestly I'm not good at dark and angst. And unfortunetly the ending I chose for this fic was kinda both. You see now my biggest weakness in writing and my only chance is to improve. Sorry if you guys didn't like the ending but I'm going to sounds like a valley girl here and say whatever. I take everything you say to heart and the best I can do is give you good one shots to make up for it but the ending... is the way it is. I'll learn from my mistakes and hopefully get better at this kind of thing. >.<

Regardless, I will stick by with what I said before, the ending was never *ment* to be an epic battle. I'm sorry if I geard it that way. If it seems like a let down, let me pull myself together over a few family issues first and I'll see if I can't rewrite it. However it will be an *alternate* ending for those of you who don't like this one.

Edit: One more thing, this is by no means a defense just something I know I have to work on, I *suck* at ending fics. If you read my earlier stuff or ask any of the people here who actually read my first fics they will tell you they yelled at me about they way I ended them. It's hard and trust me, I could come up with Maki-chan filler all day and night but this fic needed to end, waaaaaay to long. I just didn't do it very well. One can only hope with practice comes experiance ^^;

Although I think I ended Trouble well >.> I guess it's more of a 50 50 thing now.
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