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`~.:Skuld-chan:.~` Guest
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:42 pm Post subject: Cyber Goddess (WARNING: Lots of Text) |
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Here is a Fan Fic I put up on my xanga! It's the first one I've made,so sorry if it sounds crappy! T_T
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K: Commissioner Kifune
S: Skuld
R: Rosaida
C: Chaud
P: Protoman
My: Ms. Yuri
Cyber Goddess
Commissioner Kifune has just hired a young goddess named Skuld as a NetSaver.
K: “Your assignment is this. There have been sightings of Dark Chips at a warehouse. Your job is to go there and find those Dark Chips and bring them as back as soon as possible. Is that clear?”
S: “Crystal, sir” And she heads out the door on her job.
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Skuld goes out on the streets in search for the warehouse, but soon wonders where she is, for Earth seemed so different than Yggdrasil.
S: “So where exactly is this warehouse, Rosaida?”
R: “Over there.” *points to an alley*
S: “Okay then, let’s go!
When at last they find it they head in, not knowing what to expect.
S: “DarkChips, DarkChips…” murmured
Skuld as she carefully looked for them.
S: “Aaagh! I can’t find them anywhere!”
R: “…What?”
S: “I don’t find any dark chips any where. Are you sure this is the right place?”
R: “Yup. Just keep looking”
S: “Fine…” And she continued searching
Skuld then notices a tight spot and decides to look there.
R: “Have you found anything yet?”
S: “No, but I’m close to a breakthrough”
Skuld is able to push herself into that spot and finds boxes.
S: Could it be…?
She opens the boxes and finds loads of Dark Chips.
S: “I found them, Rosaida!” exclaims Skuld
R: “You did? Awesome job! Now we can take these back to the commissioner.”
S: “Definitely”
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P: “We’re getting close Chaud. Just down this alley”
C: “Alright.”
Chaud and Protoman soon approach the warehouse and when they get there they lay their eyes on the very first goddess they’ve ever seen.
C: “Ummm…”
S: *speechless*
“Ohhh, I get it you’re an Earthling aren’t you?
C: “Uhh..sure.”
S: “I’ve always wanted to meet one!
“My name is Skuld and I’m a Net Police officer!
C: “You are? So am I. My name’s Chaud”
S: “How cool! Then you must know about this already. *points to all of the boxes* Dark Chips…”
C: “Yes, this was my mission.”
S: “Awesomeness!”
C: “Heh heh…”
Chaud then carefully looks at the DarkChips and soon Skuld joins him.
S: “Hmm...”
C: “Anything wrong?”
S: *grabs a DarkChip and then clutches it into her hand. When she opens her hand it’s nothing but dust*
C: “Oh!”
S: “I thought so…They’re fake. Awww, man this is so unfair! My first day on the job and I blew it!”
C: “It’s not your fault”
S: “Yeah but…”
“Still…Who try to make copies of DarkChips?”
My: “I can tell you who. Someone very desperate”
C: “Ms.Yuri!”
S: “So you’re the one behind this!”
My: “Yes. And just who might you be little girl”
S: “LITTLE! URRGHH! YOU ARE SO GONNA GET IT NOW!”
S: “Why you…! COME BACK HERE! Ohhh…”
C: “Come on we gotta go after her!”
All of a sudden the floor starts rumbling
S: “What?!”
The warehouse then starts filling up with water.
S: *reaches for a door but it’s locked* “Chaud! It’s locked what are we gonna do?”
C: “Stay calm. Okay?”
S: “I’ll try…”
Chaud jacks Protoman in so that he can unlock the door.
S: “Rosaida you too!”
Skuld takes out her PET from her chest and jacks Rosaida in. (Whoa! 0_O)
S: “Rosaida see if you can unlock the doors from in there.”
As the warehouse seemed to continuously fill up with water, Protoman and Rosaida tried their best to get rid of the viruses that blocked the entrance to unlocking the doors through the CyberWorld.
R: “Protoman I can’t seem to get rid of these viruses. They’re everywhere!”
S: “Here! Rose Whip Battle Chip in Download!”
Rosaida then receives the battle chip and is able to delete some of the viruses.
C: “Protoman! Bamboo Sword Battle Chip Download!”
Proto deletes all of the viruses and Rosaida is able to unlock the doors from there.
All the water pours itself outside.
S: “Way to go Rosaida!”
R: “Well actually I couldn’t have done it without Protoman.”
S: *smiles*
Skuld notices Chaud coming out of the building.
S: “Umm…*bows* Thank you ever so much for helping Rosaida and I. We’re very grateful of you help.”
C: “You have an impressive NetNavi.”
S: “Huh? Oh! You mean Rosaida. Well, it is said that Navis from Yggdrasil do tend to be stronger than those on Earth, but still Protoman looks quite impressive himself.”
C: “Heh…”
S: “Well, I must say Chaud it’s been a pleasure working with you.”
C: “Same here.”
S: “And since you’re my first Earth friend you’re gonna get a gift as the custom in my world.”
Skuld hands Chaud a white rose, significantly meaning that they are officially friends.
C: “A rose?”
S: “That’s right! In Yggdrasil if you give someone your favorite flower that means they are officially their friend. My favorite flower is the white rose.”
C: “Thanks.”
S: “No prob! Hope to see you again sometime!”
C: “Me too”
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As Skuld and Rosaida walk away into the setting sun, Chaud feels self-conscious for some reason. Never in his life had he had the special friendship that Skuld had just given him. He walks away thoughtfully…
THE END |
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Mari Elegantly Wasted
Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1025 Location: M.I.A.
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to be a bother, but it seems to me you are hotlinking various pictures from:
http://www.cs.mun.ca/~anime/afs/
Which I don't think is your website, though I might be wrong. I can't be sure about the photobucket account you're linking for the other pictures, but would you please take down the pictures till you upload them somewhere else, if you believe they're really important to the story itself?
Also, I might be wrong, but someone would expect to find text in a fanfic, regardless of the amount of words written. >_> Perhaps you should warn to your readers that this fic is a crossover, rather than it has lots of text. _________________
Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome. |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2005 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know how to describe what that was but still it was well written and the pictures were inserted at precisely the right times. |
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Midnight This is a Hilbert Space
Age: 37 Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 3089 Location: The AfterMath. Otherwise, New York City.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:02 am Post subject: |
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Intriguing.
This is only the second fic that I have seen so far that actually uses illustrations within it. I'll admit it is quite novel and the pictures were rather accurate (for those that actually loaded), but I found the story to be lacking. It seemed to be too short and too cliched, since it was pretty much nothing but a script. I see absolutely no development in your original character--nothing that makes her or her navi stand out from the rest of the background except that she is named in the story.
Nevertheless, a decent read, and a fine first try.
P.S. Pardon me if I am mistaken, but are script-type fics not allowed as a format? _________________ Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy
The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals
Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3 |
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Kupo.EXE Darkloid
Joined: 24 May 2005 Posts: 537
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 1:25 pm Post subject: |
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I think that they are banned but this is not quite exactly a script. But at least now I know it was an original character, I thought it was from another anime I have never heard of, the pics look that way. |
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Mari Elegantly Wasted
Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 1025 Location: M.I.A.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 1:52 pm Post subject: |
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It is a script fanfic, but those were banned from ff.net, people. Not here. Ff.net. _________________
Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome. |
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