Akihara News with Meddy and Toadman

CrossFusionStarman

Another quickie I wrote. Heavily inspired by Family Guy's Quahog News with Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. It's another comedy one. I'm not really good at these, that's ChibiForte's department, but I still like to do them. Geez, I better stop rambling.

Genre: HU (Humor) Chapters:02
Author:CrossFusionStarman Rating:PG13, due to language warning.

Akihara News with Meddy and Toadman.

Chapter 01:It appears we have a serial killer on the loose.

"Good evening, citizens of Akihara. I'm Toadman." Toadman said.

"And I'm Meddy." Meddy said.

Both had their own news channel.

"We have lots of stories for you tonight, but first, let's go to the weather forecast with our weathernavi, our very own Forte." Toadman said.

The camera switched to Forte.

"It's gonna hail!" Forte shouted.

The camera switched back to Toadman and Meddy.

"Thank you, Forte. One of our first stories tonight, is that we have at least 400 Navi Deletion cases on our hands." Meddy said.

"The first deletion was against a normal navi, in Oran Area1. NetPolice say the navi was brutally blasted to death with an M-Cannon. It is indeed a tragedy to us all." Meddy continued.

"Meddy, why didn't you go over to Oran Area1 and heal him?" Toadman asked.

"Well, when I got their, he was just shreds of mere data, picked apart by TinHawks." Meddy said.

"Indeed, sad. The next murder happened in Endo Area4, the victim being a HeelNavi, who was electrocuted to death by a DarkThunder attack. It is safe to say he is burning in Navi Hell." Toadman reported.

"So true. Toadman, I'm thinking we could save a lot of time if we just said the place, person, and weapon in the murder case." Meddy said.

"Alrighty then, you start." Toadman said.

"Akihara 3, Shademan, GunDelSolEX." Meddy said.

"Hasn't he died enough already?" Forte shouted from across the room.

"SciLab Homepage, a Program, DrillArm3." Toadman said.

"VisionBurst, a Darkloid, MuraMasa." Meddy reported.

"Akihara, Akihara Elementary School's Football Teams's navis, MuraMasa." Toadman announced.

"Queen Bohemia, A random rich snob navi, MuraMasa." Meddy said.

Both Meddy and Toadman looked at eachother.

"It appears we have a serial killer on the loose." Meddy said.

Toadman nodded.

"Let's skip the murders and head to our next story. A navi hotel has opened up for navis to stay at while their netops are away. We now go live to Ex-World 3 navi and news reporter, Elecman." He said.

The camera switched to Elecman, just outside the hotel.

"Toadman, I am standing outside of the Navi Hotel because they don't let ex-villains inside. I will attempt to do so anyways." Elecman said, and walked towards the hotel.

He entered.

Searchman said "No ex-villains allowed!" and escorted Elecman out.

"It appears Searchman is a bouncer over there. Back to you, Toadman." Elecman said.

"Thank you, Elecman." Toadman said.

"Our top story tonight: I have been chosen to plan out the 50th year anniversary party for the local hospital." Meddy said.

"Let's hope she doesn't screw it up." Toadman said.

"Breaking News: Toadman is a jealous little freak." Meddy said.

"This just in, Meddy is a bitch." Toadman said.

Meddy picked up a Z Saber and slashed Toadman with it.

Toadman smacked Meddy with a ZeusHammer.

"Toadman and I are having a little arguement right now. Please tune in next time for Akihara News with Meddy and Toadman!" Meddy said.

Meddy was pulled down underneath the news desk by Toadman.

"Get your slimy hands off me, you little shit!" Meddy said.

"Cram it, you crack-whore!" Toadman said.

Several punches and grunts could be heard.

"Just cut." The director said.

Chapter 02:The Rules of Deletion No Longer Apply.

***

Meddy said "Good Evening Akihara, we have two special stories to share tonight."

Toadman added "We bring you the shocking truths behind Nebula Grey and Duo's ambitions!"

Meddy smacked Toadman upside the head.

"Dumbass! You just gave it away!"

Toadman rubbed his sore cheek.

"Ow...we now go live to Ex-World 3 reporter Elecman for details." He said.

The camera switched to Elecman, standing in front of Nebula Grey.

"Toadman, I'm here with Nebula Grey, who is about to confess something very shocking to us all." Elecman said.

He held his microphone to Nebula Grey.

Nebula Grey said "Well...to be honest, I never wanted to be an evil program. Regal made me do it. I never wanted to throw the world to hell. I never wanted to hurt the cute little blue navi. Oh, he was an adorable little navi, with his cute little pea-shooter that went 'bang! bang! bang!"

"I never wanted to fight him, but Regal forced me to. In reality..."

Nebula Grey snuffled.

"I wanted to be a Girl Scout. I wanted to wear the cute little green uniform, with the little hat and the little sash, going door to door, selling cookies. I'm so misunderstood..."

Nebula Grey put his face in his massive hand and sobbed. Shademan walked up and pat Nebula Grey's gigantic shoulder.

"There there, it will be okay." He said reassuringly.

The camera went back to Meddy and Toadman.

"Nebula Grey turned out to be a pansy. Shocking." Meddy said.

"Yes, Meddy. Even more shocking than at the swimsuit contest when you reminded us all of our grandmother's cleavage." Toadman said.

Meddy slapped Toadman.

"We now go to a live interview with Duo, about his true motives." She said.

Duo appeared onscreen.

"I admit, I wasn't really serious about trying to destroy Earth. I was just trying to pick up chicks by acting badass." Duo said.

It went back to Meddy and Toadman.

"What do you think of Duo now that he has explained that, Forte?" Toadman asked.

"He's a nerd!" Forte shouted.

"We now go live to Elecman-again-with another side story." Meddy said.

Elecman was standing in Akihara next to a beat up Rockman, who was oddly enough, smiling.

"Meddy, I'm here with Rockman who has somehow managed to avoid the Cyber Reaper, avoiding deletion itself."

Elecman's hand turned into DrillArm3.

"Rockman, you're saying that if I attacked you with this with as low as HP as you have, you wouldn't be deleted?" Elecman asked.

"Only one way to find out." Rockman said.

Elecman impaled Rockman with his DrillArm3. Rockman gasped and shouted out in pain before falling limp.

"Oh shit!" Elecman said.

Rockman got up.

"Just kidding!" He laughed.

"Oh, you're evil!" Elecman said, laughing.

It went back to Meddy and Toadman.

"If the rules of Deletion no longer apply, I can do this!" Toadman said, and used Final Gun on Meddy.

Meddy pulled out a chainsaw and started it up.

"When we get back, Toadman gets lobotomy!" She said.

***

END.

Yes, I know it was short. It was intended to be. Prmoise my next one will be longer.
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Unknown Neo · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 8:45 pm Post subject:

Very family guy-ish. I think I could figure out where each joke came from.

ChibiForte · Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 9:38 pm Post subject:

Yeah, that's cuz that's sorta where he got the idea from. You know that kinda stuff when he's yer brother. ^_^; Anyway, I think it's funny so far, and hope that he keeps it up. If not, I can just go grab my Accoustic and smack him wih it; his room's just down the hall from mine! Laughing

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Unknown Neo · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:24 pm Post subject:

Hit him in the head with a guitar? Careful something could pop out of it.

CrossFusionStarman · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:31 pm Post subject:

What, my head or her guitar? And if she even tries to, I'll get the nearest weapon (Axe or Tag body spray) and spray it in her eyes. But we're getting off topic. Some on topic stuff. This is noly two chapters long, I'm writing a new one right now, so sorry ChibiForte. These are the only chapters.
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Darth Osiris · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:34 pm Post subject:

Ah HA! I loved it! That part about Duo acting badass was freakin' hilarious! But at least he has Slur, am I right, people?

CrossFusionStarman · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:36 pm Post subject:

No, in my fics Slur and Starman are a couple, so Duo's all alone. Hmm...maybe I'll make a girlfriend for Duo. Name her Duet.
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ChibiForte · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 6:42 pm Post subject:

Duet?! C'mon nii-chan, that's just pathetic!
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CrossFusionStarman · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:08 pm Post subject:

What did you have in mind? Cause that's the best I can come up with. Seriously, I'm not good with making female character names.
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ComicX6 · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:44 pm Post subject:

Ahh, nothing quite like sibling rivaliry(sp?) is there? The fic was hilarious Starman, please do write more like it.
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CrossFusionStarman · Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 7:52 pm Post subject:

I'll write more comedy fics after I finish the one I'm writing right now. I already have 10 chapters writen (but not posted) of my new one, so I can't just kill it right now.
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Unknown Neo · Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 8:44 pm Post subject:

Duet isn't that bad. I have problems making names too. Luckily some of mine came easy.

ComicX6 · Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 7:24 pm Post subject: