Incredible Adolescent Ninja Progs! [Rating:K,G(Humor)]

[TheWebbuilder]

Yep, more channel induced insanity. Prepare for the adventures of The Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs!

Begin Chapter!

Dumpling Comp 1.

“Not again!” Dumpling Prog turned and quickly ducked to avoid having his head taken off by a flying Mystery Data Cube.

“This is the third time this month!” Sauce Prog agreed as he leapt over a speeding dish. “You‘d think that these viruses would just leave us alone!”

The group of attacking viruses composed of Spikeys, Champeys, and Candles continued to plow through the computer system, mowing down whatever got in their path. The Spikey launched another one of it’s Heat Breath attacks on any random Net Navis unfortunate enough to receive it’s attention.

On the other side of the Network, a Champey and the Candle were also reeking havoc on anything and everything that moved.

The Dumpling Prog yelped and shrieked as a ball of fire ripped over his head. Hastily the Program ducked, allowing the flame to whip over it’s head.

Dumpling Prog and Sauce Prog looked at each other and did the only thing they could do under the circumstances. They screamed like girls.

“HELP!”

The Spikey and the Champey took aim at the two Programs and readied another attack. The Spikey unleashed another Heat Shot at the Dumpling Prog, while the Champey teleported over to the Sauce Prog and sent his fist flying at the program’s head.

The two Progs ‘EEEPED!’ and readied themselves for deletion. Nothing short of a miracle could save them now.

Amazingly enough a miracle arrived- in the form of a Kunai and Bokken. The Kunai flew through the air and ripped through the Heat Shot, destroying the attack before continuing on to strike the ground just in front of the Spikey.

And then Sauce Prog was saved when a wooden sword came out of nowhere, spinning like a Frisbee, and smacked into the Champey’s fist. The blow caused the virus to cancel it’s attack, then the Bokken circled around and back up to it’s owner.

As the Spikey and Champey blinked and pulled back in surprise, three new Programs dropped down from the sky and landed in front of Dumpling and Sauce Progs. But what was unusual was that these Programs were dressed in Ninja garb and masked, each Prog was also a different color. One was Red, one was White, and the third was Blue. The trio of Progs drew themselves up to their not-so-tall full height and struck a pose.

“Prepare to face the awesome power of the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs!” They shouted in unison.

“You guys have picked this place apart for the last time!” The red garbed Prog said. “Now I‘m going to pick you apart!”

“Yeah, what he said!” The blue one announced, drawing his sword from it’s sheath. This was an interesting feat when you consider the fact that Ninja Programs didn’t have hands.

“Remember, keeping you cool is essential to victory.” The white program announced as he adjusted his bifocal glasses. “That said, let‘s kick their tails back to Oran 1!”

The three Ninjutsu Progs dashed at the viruses, screaming ‘The Power of the Prog!’

The White Prog rushed at a Spikey, his Bokken swiping out of it’s sheath and preparing to attack. The Spikey instantly noticed it’s challenger, and parted it’s jaws to expel a blast of flame at the Program.

“Ultimate Ninja Attack!” The White Prog shouted.

The white Ninja leapt into the air, soaring to an astonishing height. As a result, the fireball whipped harmlessly underneath the Program and allowed it to escape unharmed.

“HOYAAAAAAH!” The Prog shouted as it began it’s descent. The Prog brought his wooden sword down, striking the Spikey solidly in the head.

The Virus screamed in pain and then flicked his head to one side, sending the Program flying sideways through the air. Twisting in mid-flight, the Program managed to land upright. The White Program lifted his sword and prepared for the next exchange.

This time a Champey came rushing at the program, it’s right fist flying forward at the Program’s masked face. The virus’ fist slammed into the Ninja’s face and then struck empty air as the Program vanished in a puff of smoke.

The Champey paused, bewildered by these actions. Nothing he’d ever attacked before had done that…

The virus’ contemplation was cut short as the White Ninja reappeared behind the Champey’s back, completely unharmed. The Prog’s Bokken flashed out of it’s sheath and slammed into the Champey’s head- and the next second the virus was vanishing into deletion.

The white-clad program whipped about, smacking the face of the Spikey that had been trying to sneak up behind him.

A short distance away, Blue was taking his frustrations out on the stray Candle.

The fire Virus screeched and sent a wave of flame flying at it’s opponent. Blue quickly hurled himself to one side and went into a long slide, skidding around the flames. Instantly the Prog leapt to his feet and turned to face it’s opponent.

“Ninja Strike…” The Blue Program drew it’s sword and leapt at the Candle. “ TAAIIIYOOH!”

The Program whipped his blade about, causing a mass of water to break free of the sword and wash over the Network- and the virus. As soon as that attack was finished, the Blue Prog leapt backward and pulled himself into a mid-air reverse summersault. Blue hit the ground, and flashed his sword out to obliterate a random Champey.

From there, the blue Prog stabbed a Spikey, deleting it, and then launched himself at another Candle.

And Red Ninja was doing his job as well, cleaning the clock of that Champey that had dared to challenge him. The Red Ninja shifted forward and backward, easily evading the blizzard of flaming punches hurled at it’s head. Eventually, however, the Red Ninja got tired of playing the game and formed several Shuriken. With a sharp twist, the Red Prog sent the blade whittling through the air, and it’s adversary.

Red glanced over his shoulder, spotting a stray Spikey trying to attack him from behind. Instantly the Spikey realized that it had been spotted and launched a Heat V from it’s mouth. The red Prog twirled to one side, evading the attack and firing off several more daggers that easily destroyed the virus.

Meanwhile, White Ninja Prog was getting fed up with the fact that his battle with the Spikey was dragging on for what felt like forever.

White launched himself to one side, allowing a blast of flame to barrel past him harmlessly. The Prog hit the ground and launched himself forward at the virus.

The virus noticed the Prog’s attack, and unleashed another burst of flame on it’s opponent.

White Ninja countered with a sweep of his Bokken. The Prog swung his sword baseball-style and connected solidly with the fireball, as a result the blast of flame was sent flying back to it’s source. The rebounded flame slammed into the beast and exploded into a mass of flame, heat, and smoke.

“Ninja Attack: Flying Monkey!” The White Prog screamed at the top of his lungs. Holding his Bokken out before him, the White Prog exploded forward at extremely high speed. The Prog leapt at the Spikey and drove his sword home as he flew past. The second that he landed the Prog whirled around and jumped the Spikey again, scoring another hit that wiped the Virus out.

“You‘re slowing down, Old Timer!” Red shouted as he watched the White Prog’s fight out of the corner of his eye.

Red Prog was answered when White’s Bokken slammed into the side of Red’s head. The Red Prog reeled from the impact and crashed to the floor.

“Don‘t call me old!” The White Prog muttered as he adjusted his glasses.

“Guys! Little help here!” Blue shouted in exasperation. The blue-garbed Prog was doing his best to hold his ground, but with Red and White preoccupied with their pointless argument, he was slowly but surely giving ground.

“I‘ve had enough of this!” White bounded across the Network toward Blue.

“Right!” Red agreed, “We‘ll show them that it was a mistake to challenge us! We‘ll hit them with our ultimate attack!”

White and Red landed alongside Blue. Together the three Progs raised their weapons and clanked them together.

“White Ninjutsu Prog!” White shouted as he funneled his energy into his Bokken. “FLYING MONKEY!”

“Blue Ninjutsu Prog!” Blue screamed, pouring his power into his sword. “WATER STRIDER!”

“RED NINJUTSU PROG!” Red screamed, not willing to be outdone. “NINJA GALE!”

Together, the three Progs screamed- simply because they always had when performing their ultimate move.

"SUPER WET SPEAR JAB OF DOOM!!"

At that moment, the three Progs fused their individual weapons together, forming a giant spear. Each Prog took hold of the weapon and thrust it forward, unleashing a giant wave of water that crashed across the Network and destroyed the rest of the viruses.

“Oh, yeah!” Red shouted. “The Power of the Prog!”

“Our work here is done,” White announced. “Let us depart.”

The three Ninja Progs broke their weapon apart, back into it’s three pieces. Then they turned to the Dumpling and Sauce Progs, bowed once, and vanished in puffs of smoke.

Sauce Prog looked at Dumpling Prog as it’s eyes widened. “Dumpling, I think we’ve been working too hard lately…”

“Yeah,” Dumpling Prog agreed. “I‘ve been at it so long that I’m starting to hallucinate. I’m starting to see little red, white, and blue ninjas beat up viruses…”

End Chapter!
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[Nenji]

In case people weren't around,

Web=White
Lan1220=Blue
I=Red
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Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Lan1220]

XD, funny and nice at the same time. I say this is just going to get better.
_________________

Sig credit goes to Hikari Angel

[NotJim]

So you posted it, I see.

[spoil:636b3305ad]I suppose the other ninja progs are gonna appear in the later chapters?[/spoil:636b3305ad]

Thanks, HK. :eyes:
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Avatar and banner by Spork-Queen.EXE.

[Nenji]

Shush! That's a [spoil:3db47c5e42]SPOILER :O [/spoil:3db47c5e42]
_________________

Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Kitty-Chan]

This is great! Wish I'd been in the chan for this.
_________________
Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[Midnight]

Oh my. Little did I know that whetever you were doing in the channel over the weekend led to this. It's nicely written, as always, but this is too simply absurd.

I do wonder, however, if this is to continue, if any of the other channel "regulars" will be thrown is as cameos of some sort...
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[TheWebbuilder]

You never know who's going to turn up, MC.

Yellow Prog = HubHikari.

Chapter 2: Real Ninja don't work.

"Did you see that?" Blue Prog bounced around the Network in excitement. "I had those viruses on the ropes!"

"Except for that one point when they had you on the ropes." Red Prog yanked off his mask and slouched down next to a conveniently placed Data Cube. "But yeah, we owned them bad!"

White chuckled as he too pulled off his mask. Since the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs were in between battles at the moment, they were kicking back and relaxing in the Castle's Statue Computer like they normally did.

"We most certainly claimed victory," The white Program adjusted his glasses. "But we must guard against becoming overconfident."

"We hear you, oh, wise Master." Blue Prog quipped.

White Prog answered by slapping the young program over the back of his head, knocking the ninja to the floor.

"I'm not-!" The Prog's outburst died away as his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"What?" Red Prog noticed White's strange behavior.

"Listen," The seasoned program replied. "Do you hear that?"

"All I hear is my head ringing." Blue groaned as he rolled over on the not-too-comfortable ground.

"I don't hear anything either." The Crimson Ninja replied.

"Shhh..."

The three progs dropped into silence, each one straining their senses to detect the slightest movement or sound in the computer.

A long moment followed.

"I don't get it." Red finally shrugged.

White Prog rolled his eyes and then turned his back on the other two Programs.

"Ultimate Ninja Strike! Flying Monkey!" Bellowing those words, the Program shot upward into the Network's sky and struck out at empty air with his bokken.

A loud yelp sounded, and then White Prog bopped whatever-it-was again, causing a slightly customized Net Navi to become visible.

"He was hiding with the Invis Strike Technique!" Blue Prog shouted in disbelief. "It made him invisible and allowed him to follow us home!"

Ignoring Blue, White Prog gave the Navi one more thwap and then watched as it dropped to the ground below. The Net Navi hit the ground, bounced, and then slammed into the floor.

White Prog just lazily floated to the floor and looked at the newcomer.

"Alright, buddy!" Red Prog summoned a kunai and aimed it at the Navi. "What were you doing spying on us?"

"No, please! I wasn't spying on you!" The Navi scrambled to his feet. "I was following you, but not spying- well, maybe I was spying a little because that's what Ninja do, but it wasn't much, I promise! And-"

"Oy." Blue groaned and shook his head as the Net Navi rambled on. Only something like this could happen to them.

10101010101010101010101010101010101

"Hee, hee, hee, hee," The yellow-garbed program bounced from one section of the Network to the other with ease. "Sh4d0Man w4nz 70 m337 w1d m3... 1 w0nd3r wh47 h3 w4nz..."

The Yellow Prog continued on until he came to End Area's Network Pagoda. Once he arrived, the Prog leapt onto the structure's roof, opened a trap door set in the ceiling and bounded inside.

"L13k, Wh3333, d00d!" The Prog shouted as he fell.

Finally, the Prog hit the bottom of the shaft and landed upright. Yellow straightened himself and stepped forward to find a fairly portly Net Navi standing in front of him.

Actually 'portly' was a rather generous term, the Net Navi was actually fairly large. And in this case, 'large' meant 'very, very, very fat'.

Yellow Prog's eyes almost popped out of his head.

"U r Shd0M4n?!"

"I am." The large Navi replied.

"U l00k m0r3 l13k J4bb4 7h3 Hu77 7h4n Sh4d0M4n." Yellow commented. "h0w j00 g3tt s0 f47?"

"I find your lack of tact disturbing." ShadowMan replied. "But if you must know, it's because of the first rule of my clan... 'Real Ninjas Don't do Work'."

"0, n0 w0nd3r U s0 b1g."

"I also find your speech impediment very disturbing." The chubby ninja shook his head. "But I have a job for you, Yellow Ninja. I want the Mystical Purple Data, and I hear that it can be found at End Area... are you willing to find it for me?"

"N0 pr0b d00d, U g07 c4sh, 1 g0t D474."

10101010101010101010101010101010101

"So, let me get this straight." Red Prog eyed the Net Navi that had literally dropped into the Network. "You came to us because you wanted us to teach you the way of the Samurai? Dude, we're Ninja. Ninjutsu Progs at that."

"I know, I know," The purple Navi replied. "But no one will accept me for Samurai Training, so I figure that if I proved myself an adequate Ninja that they'd reconsider."

"I don't know about this," Blue whispered. "This guy talks way too much to be a Ninja."

"I don't either." White replied, before speaking louder to the newcomer. "What's you're name?"

"My name," The Navi answered in dead seriousness. "is Aye."

"Aye?" Red raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Aye, Aye." Aye nodded.

At which point, all three Progs collapsed to the floor in complete disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding me." White whimpered. "In all my years I've never come across anyone with a name like that."

"I'm very serious." Aye frowned.

"Aye, Aye, Aye..." Blue groaned, before getting beaned on the head by Red.

"Look, Aye." Red Prog sat up and got to his feet. "I really don't think that you can cut it as a Ninja."

"What? Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, you talk way too much." Blue chimed in. "And your Invis technique was pitiful if White could hear you in his old age."

Blue wound up on the ground again- floored by White's bokken.

"I keep telling you, I'm not old." The Prog grumbled. "But, Aye... let me think about taking you in and get back to you."

Aye dropped his head, "Don't you lie to me! I know you don't have any intention of taking me under your wing! But I'll show you, I'll show them! I'll show you all that I can make it as a Samurai!"

With those words hanging in the air, the purple Net Navi stormed away from the Progs and logged out of the Network.

"Well, that could have gone better." Red moaned.

End Chapter!
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[Nenji]

Red gives it 5/5 ^_^

Nicely done! The idea of a chubby Shadowman is GENIUS!
_________________

Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Midnight]

God. Satire never was as deliciously amusing to read.

This is certainly turning out to be quite an absurd story, replete with spoofs and bad puns. I wonder if it was the user's request to have his character speak in pseudo-1337, but seeing that was quite amusing, once the reader got past the initial shock and decoding phase. Having an obese ninja also was a great jab at the stereotype, and done rather effectively.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Lan1220]

XD, Yellow's speaking l33t. Aye, Aye is a weird name alrighty. Chubby Shadowman XDDD, that's the result of not working at all. Great job! *proceeds in laughing to death*
_________________

Sig credit goes to Hikari Angel

[NotJim]

I was actually thinking if the yellow's 1337 could get a lot worse later on.

XD Great job, anyway.
_________________

Avatar and banner by Spork-Queen.EXE.

[Kitty-Chan]

I need to get in on this action.
_________________
Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[TheWebbuilder]

Yeah, the Ninja Prog insanity last night gave me the drive to write this chapter up and post it.

Begin...

“C0m3 0n p30p13s! 1 n33d 70 f1nd 7h47 mys73ry d4t4!” Yellow Prog snapped as he whipped his sword around, slicing a random stall into two separate pieces. The Net Navi who had been minding said stall promptly dashed away, apparently they had no intent of fighting a crazed Ninja Prog who could barely be understood.

Yellow Prog whipped around, his eyes flicking about the area. However, instead of any Purple Mystery Data he found himself staring at four Official Net Navi, each one armed with a fully charged Giga Cannon.

“D00ds, j00 kn0w wh3r3 1 c4n f1nd 4ny pur13 mys73ry d474?”

The four Officials exchanged bewildered looks.

“Did any of you understand any of that?” The lead Official asked.

“Not a bit.” The second replied.

“Sorry, didn‘t get it.”

“Nada.”

The lead Official shrugged and turned his attention back to the yellow-garbed Prog.

“Look, buddy.” He said. “If you‘re going to try and talk to us, at least have the decency to speak so that we can understand you. Talk normally.”

“D00d, l13k, 1 4m t41k1ng n0rm4lly.”

Again, the Official looked at his partner. Again they didn’t understand the Prog’s garbled speech.

“I vote we blast him first and ask questions later.” The third Official voiced his idea.

“Ditto,” the second replied.

“Ditto on the ditto.” The third spoke up.

“Agreed.” The lead Navi nodded. “FIRE!”

All four Net Navi cut loose with their Giga Cannons. Titanic bursts of energy ripped free of the individual Program Advances and rushed forward to slam into the Ninja Program.

However, instead of blowing him to atoms, the Giga Cannon attacks merely bounced off of the Yellow Prog harmlessly.

Again the Official Net Navis fired their weapons.

Again the attacks ricocheted off of the Prog.

“What gives?” The second Official asked. “How come the blasters aren‘t working on him?”

“Maybe he‘s using some kind of Ninjutsu trick.” The third shrugged. “Like kawarimi?”

“D00ds, 1‘m n07 us1ng 4ny n1nj4 s7uff.” Yellow Prog scoffed. “1 4m us1ng 7h3 ult1m473 p0w3r, 7h3 l337 sh13ld!!”

The Officials collapsed to the ground in fear… Or at least, they would have if they had any idea just what yellow prog had said.

“I‘m not going to ask. None of you got that, did you?” The First Official said.

“You got it.” Two, Three and Four nodded.

At that moment, a new figure entered the fray. A Net Navi clad in pink and yellow tights back-flipped through the air, twisted in mid-jump and hit the ground between the Officials and Yellow Prog.

“Hands off, boys! I shall handle this one!” The Navi struck an over exaggerated pose that looked somewhat like a poorly executed attempt to look vaguely heroic. “I shall undo this renegade Prog‘s wrongs and set the records straight! I am the defender of Justice, Aye the Samurai!”

For a long moment all was still.

Then the Official Net Navis and the Yellow Prog threw their hands over their eyes and screamed in pain as Aye’s bright pink, blue and yellow jumpsuit worked it’s magic and effectively seared their eyes with it’s blinding conglomeration of color.

“What?” Aye glanced around at the screaming Navis and Programs. “I didn‘t think my entrance was that bad.”

“The… pain…” The lead Official collapsed to the ground and tried to block out the offensive costume by hiding his eyes behind his hands.

“D00d…” Yellow Prog managed to pry his eyelids open a second to look at his attacker. “wh0 4r3 j00- 0h, jus7 4 m0m3n7... N1nj4 73chn1qu3: C4n1n3 s1gh7!”

“Canine sight?” Aye looked puzzled. “What is that?”

“N07h1ng sp3c14l, 17 jus7 m4k3s m3 c0l0r-bl1nd s0 7h47 1 c4n l00k 4t j00.”

Aye still looked puzzled, but shrugged it off and replied: “The name‘s Aye the Samurai!”

“0.K., 1 g07 7h3 f4c7 7ha7 j00 r s4mur41.” Yellow Prog shook his head. “Bu7 wh47‘s j00r n4m3?”

“Aye!”

“Y4h, j00! Wh47‘s j00r n4m3?!”

“I‘ve been telling you, I‘m Aye!”

“1 kn0w j00r j00! 1 w4n7 70 kn0w j00r n4m3!!”

“Aye!”

“F0r 7h3 hundr37h t1m3! j00!”

“My name is Aye! A-Y-E! Aye!”

“What?!” Yellow Prog still looked perplexed.

Aye took a deep breath and did his best to keep from screaming.

“d00d, my n4m3 1s 4y3!!’ The brightly clad Net Navi’s eyes widened as he slapped a hand over his mouth. “Please tell me I didn‘t just speak in pseudo-leet.”

“d00d, j00 n07 funny.” Yellow Prog shook his head and drew his sword. “S0rry, bu7 I k1ll j00 n0w. ‘k?”

“You mean you‘ll try to kill me!” Aye retorted, as he held his sword aloft and readied his defenses. “I know all of the Samurai techniques! Ultimate Samurai Defense: Box Turtle!”

“S0 j00 kn0w b0x 7ur7l3...” The renegade Prog muttered. Abruptly he jumped backwards and levitated in mid-air. “Bu7 d0 j00 kn0w M1gh7y Bumbl3 B33?”

Aye nodded and then crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, and I also know how to counter it with Black Spider!”

“Pr4y1ng M4n71s!” Yellow Prog dropped to the ground and reversed his blade so that it pointed at the ground.

“Leaping lizard!”

“4x7ec F4lc0n!”

“Iron Rock!”

“S733l dr1ll!”

“Oxidized Rust!”

“CLR!”

“Mop and bucket!”

“D00d, j00 m4d3 747 up!”

“So did you!”

“7h47‘s 17! J00 D13 N0W!!” Yellow Prog broke into a mad dash and set his sword to impale the eye-searing Net Navi.

Aye brought his blade up and prepared his defenses to intercept the blade and retaliate. But as the distance between him and his opponent lessened, he was rapidly discovering that he had more metal in his sword than in his back bone.

Yellow’s sword lashed out, and effortlessly sent his opponent’s sword flying out of his hand and through the air. The blade sailed for a few seconds and then clattered to the ground and skidded to a stop.

Finding himself left with no defenses and facing a deadly Ninja Net Navi, Aye did the only logical thing. He collapsed to the ground and started begging for mercy.

Unfortunately for him, Yellow Prog had no intention of giving out mercy. He turned around and prepared to strike out with his sword in an attempt to trim Aye’s hair down to the level of his shoulders.

He never succeeded.

“Ultimate Ninja Technique: Flying Kangaroo Back-flip!”

Blue Prog’s went flying through the air, his course set to take him straight into Yellow Prog. At the last moment, the blue Prog twisted sharply and back-flipped, sending his feet crashing straight into yellow Prog’s chin. The renegade program was sent flying backward as Blue flipped over and hit the ground in front of the blubbering Aye.

Unfortunately, Blue Prog made the mistake of turning around to look at Aye- and found himself withering on the ground, blinded by the Navi’s garish costume.

“My eyes!!” Blue screamed in agony. “You’ve blinded me for life!!”

“Blue…” Red dropped down and landed beside his fellow Ninja Prog. “Close your eyes.”

The blue-garbed Prog did as instructed and immediately sighed with relief. Quickly he turned away from the samurai-wannabe and reopened them.

“Thank goodness…” Blue exhaled in relief.

“This won‘t be pretty.” White Prog materialized behind his other two comrades. “Yellow Prog is using the l337 shield to protect himself. Nothing we can throw at him will break through the shield.”

“So the question is…” Blue wondered aloud. “How does one kill a leet noob?”

By this time, Yellow Prog had recovered enough to look up and find that the odds had suddenly shifted against him. Yellow was smart enough to figure out that sticking around to fight wouldn’t be too smart, even with his n00b shield…

The Yellow Prog sprung up and turned to face his opponents.

“D0n‘7 7h1nk j00 h4v3 w0n!” The renegade shouted. “1‘ll c0m3 b4ck w17h my 07h3r l337 br07h3rs! 7h3n w3‘11 f1nd 7h3 purpl3 mys73ry d474 4 Sh4d0wM4n!”

Red Prog turned to Blue and White. “Did you understand any of that?”

“Not a word.” Blue defied all of the known laws of physics and shrugged, despite the fact that he had no shoulders.

“Sadly, yes…” White Prog replied. “He‘s going to go get help, a LOT of help and come back here to find something known as the ‘Purple Mystery Data‘…”

“Purple Mystery Data? What the heck is that?” Blue wondered aloud.

“I don‘t know, I‘m more concerned about the other Progs with the l337 shield.” The red-garbed Prog replied. “There‘s got to be some way to break through their shields.”

“There is…” White Prog watched Yellow beat his retreat. “We have to find the mystical weapon known as the Bot Filter Power. It is the only thing with enough power to destroy a n00b shield.”

“Great!” Blue piped up. “Where do we get one?”

“That‘s the problem.” White shook his head. “The Ban Power‘s location is known only to one individual in all of cyberspace: The Midnight Sage. Plus it is guarded by the legendary Ninja Prog, Green Ninjutsu. To prove one’s worth and ability to wield the Bot Filter Power, one must defeat the Green Ninjutsu in combat.”

“From your tone of voice, I‘m guessing that the Green Prog is one tough cookie.” Red Prog said. “Why is that?”

“The answer is simple. Green Prog has master the legendary powers of Zakeru.”

“NO!” Blue Prog screamed in terror. “Not Zakeru!”

“Yes, Zakeru.”

For a long moment all was still, then Blue turned to Red and asked a simple questions.

“What‘s Zakeru?”

Blue Prog promptly wound up on the floor.

End...
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[Lan1220]

ROFLMAO!!!! XD i just love the way everyone reacts when they see Aye. Yellow's n00b speak just owns XD. meep! i'm such a clueless idiot XD. *dies of laughter*
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Sig credit goes to Hikari Angel

[Nenji]

Word, you snuck in a chapter when I wasn't looking!

It's fun but! :D
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Previously known as "HiKaizer"

[Midnight]

Fantastic. :D

After sifting through the pseudo-n00b, which actually wasn't so difficult, this turned out to be a rather hilarious chapter. Although I've seen the name gimmick used some times before, it is still equally as effective.

If you wished to accentuate the "1335-ness" of the Yellow Prog, you could have tried to use slightly more advanced symbol replacement--you know, something beyond numerals. That could very well be a characteristic of one of his "friends" that he was headed off for...

Good job nevertheless.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Unknown Neo]

This is great. The ninja progs are cute but how can I read Leet? I have no idea how I do but somehow I do. Great work.

[Kitty-Chan]

1337 is evil; it figures the bad guys use it. -_-; I need to get back to the chan. I wanna be a Ninja prog, too!
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

[TheWebbuilder]

I update once again. And I offer no explaination or apology for this chapter.

Pink = Roll Soul
Polka-dot = Poochy (as hard as it is to believe)
Midnight Sage = Take a wild guess.

Begin!

“Alright, so, we need the Bot Filter Power…” Red Prog muttered as he ran through the required bring-the-reader-up-to-speed-checklist. “And to do that we need to find the Midnight Sage so that he can tell us how to find and battle some crazy Zakeru-powered Green Ninja Prog…”

“Right.” Blue Prog nodded his head in agreement. “Although you guys never did tell me what ‘Zakeru‘ was.”

“It’s a mystical power that allows the user to manipulate lightning at will.” White Prog explained. “The move was stolen from the popular anime/manga series ‘Gash Bell‘.”

“Oooh…” Blue nodded slightly. “That explains a lot.”

“Yeah, so…” Red glanced around the battered Network. “how do we go about finding this Midnight Sage guy?”

“It‘s quite simple really.” White Prog muttered. “All we have to do is survive a trip through the Whammy.”

“The Whammy? What’s the Whammy?” Blue inquired.

“It‘s an obstacle course or test that’s filled with instant-death traps and gimmicks that is run by many crazed beings. It‘s said that whoever faces the Whammy and survives will win the right to consult with the Midnight Sage at any time or place.” The white Prog replied.

“Gee… another part of this crazy quest where we end up staring death in the eyeball.” Red Prog shrugged his shoulders. “Is there any part of this adventure that doesn‘t have the potential to kill us in an instant? And do we really have to do this?”

“’No’ to the first question, because if there was, that would take all of the fun out of it. And I know that you‘re hesitant, Progs, but we must find the Bot Filter Power and use it to save the world! The first thing that we have to do is survive the Whammy! It‘s dangerous, but it is our duty! We will defend the Internet at all costs, we will prevail! We are the Incredible Adolescent Ninja Programs! We have never run from a fight, we have never backed away from a challenge! Will we do so now? Are you with me!?” White gathered up his weaponry and thrust his sword high into the air as he struck a heroic pose.

Complete silence greeted his question.

Red and Blue exchanged a look and then shrugged.

101010101010101010101010101010101

A quick, Ninjitsu teleport later and the three Ninja Progs found themselves face to face with the Whammy.

Red Prog glanced around the area… it was mostly empty, with a few trees scattered here and there. A red fence ran down the field and back again, creating a long, rectangle shaped area that was roughly equivalent to that of a football field.

“This is the Whammy?” The crimson Prog commented. “I expected something more… sinister.”

“No, this is not the Whammy. This is the Whammy‘s breeding ground.” White explained. “Remember, the Whammy is not so much a place as it is a thing… THAT is the Whammy!”

Red and Blue looked down the length of the field to find a strange, red creature scurrying back and forth within the fenced in area.

“It looks like a monkey.” Blue Prog said.

“A monkey with a hammer.” Red amended the statement. “That‘s it? We have to get from one end of the fence to the other while avoiding the monkey? Sounds easy enough.”

“Don‘t be fooled by appearances, the Whammy is very dangerous… And there is never just one. Whammy‘s travel in packs, never alone. Where there is one, there are hundreds.”

“How right he is!” A new voice cut through the air.

The trio of Ninja Progs spun around to face the source of the strange, new voice. Each Prog had his weapon drawn and ready by the time they had finished the 180 degree spin.

Two strange beings stood a short distance away from the Ninja Progs, they were obscured by some unusually, strange shadows covering the area. The ‘unusually, strange’ bit came into play because although it was midday the shadows came from a pair of trees that were at least two yards away from the beings.

“Wait a moment… I know you…” White Prog adjusted his glasses and sheathed his bokken. The strange shapes before him slowly but surely formed themselves into two forms he recognized. “Pink! Pink Ninja is that you?!”

“Hey, you remembered me!” The pink, female program stepped out of the shadows and into the light. “White! It‘s been what…? Seven… Eight years since I left your care and set out on my own?”

“You‘ve been teaching for over eight years?” Blue Prog’s eyes widened to the size of watermelons at the thought. “My stars… you must be really, really ol-!”

Blue stifled a shriek and ducked as White’s Bokken flashed out of it’s scabbard and down to within a half-inch of his head.

“Experienced!” The Blue Prog shouted at the top of his lungs. “Experienced! I didn‘t say old! Not me, no way! Experienced, not old, that‘s what you are!”

“Don‘t worry, Blues.” Pink chuckled. “White was over-sensitive about his age even back then.”

“Illogical pet peeves aside,” White Prog put his weapon away as he studied the second form before him. “Who‘s the other Program? Have you taken on an apprentice?”

“I have,” The pink program nodded. “This is my student, Brown Polka-dot.”

“Brown Polka-Dot?” One of Red Prog’s eyebrows went up in disbelief. “What kind of a name and color scheme is that? How‘d he get it?”

“Let‘s just say that I proved the adage about walking under ladders being unlucky.” The multi-colored program grimaced. “Especially ladders with buckets of paint on the top.”

The trio of Ninja Progs looked at each other and uttered an ‘oh’.

“Anyway, I brought Polka-dot here to undergo the Whammy Test.” The Pink Program explained. “It‘s time for him to take that test and prove himself to be adequate in the ways of the Stealth Ninjitsu.”

“Come to think of it, it‘s about time for Blue to take that test as well.” White’s eyes lit up with remembrance. “Another two weeks and it would have been his time. Oh well, I guess testing him a little early wouldn‘t hurt, and besides, this way Polka-dot and Blue will be able to help each other out.”

“True… I suppose that that would work.” Pink nodded, and tossed a stray strand of her brown hair back into it’s place. “But two is the limit per test, no one else can accompany them.”

“Wait a minute!” Blue and Polka-dot shrieked in unison. “You mean we have to face the Whammy alone?! You guys (and gal) aren‘t coming with us?!”

“Relax,” White grinned. “all you have to do is keep Invis No Jitsu and SneakRun No Jitsu active and run from one end of the field and back again. As long as you do that, the Whammy won‘t notice you and you‘ll live… provided you don‘t step on a land mine.”

“Or hit a trip wire and get skewered by a thousand deadly spears.” Pink agreed. “Or step on a Viper Snake.”

“But I‘m sure that won‘t happen, you‘re too well trained, Blue.” Red grinned nastily. “And from what I‘ve heard about Pink Prog, I‘m guessing that Polka-dot is more than ready to do this as well.”

“Well… I guess we don‘t have a choice.” Blue Prog performed a nervous swallow. “Someone‘s got to do this… it might as well be us…”

“If… if you think I‘m ready, Master Pink.” Polka-dot gulped. “I won‘t let you down.”

“Good.”

Looking like two Progs who were condemned to face a firing squad, Blue and Polka-dot sighed and trudged over to the slight opening in the fence.

When they were a safe distance away, Red Prog leaned over so that he could whisper in White’s ear.

“Are you going to tell them that there is no such thing as the ‘Whammy Test‘?”

“And ruin all the fun?” White whispered back. “Besides, they aren‘t in any real danger. If things get hairy, then we’ll intervene.”

Meanwhile, Blue and Polka-dot were psyching each other up for their upcoming ‘test’.

“All we have to do is get to the end of the fence and back without the Whammy seeing us.” Blue eyed their target, which presently looked impossibly far away.

“And hope we don‘t hit one of the booby-traps in the process.” Polka-dot grimaced as visions of a painful death via some death-trap filled his mind. “Well… I guess it‘s time.”

“Yeah… I was tired of living anyway. Invis No Jitsu!” The Blue Prog took a deep breath and then leaped up into the air. As he reached the apex of his jump, a ripple seemed to run through the Ninja Prog. A split second passed as the blue-garbed program and his partner vanished from sight.

“SneakRun No Jitsu!” The invisible Polka-dot program nullified the sound of he and Blue’s footsteps so that they could sneak around without making a sound.

Together, the two Programs stepped into the fence and began working their way through the Whammy Test. All things considered, they were doing fairly well. Blue and Polka-dot had managed to reach the end of the fence and were on their way back to the other Progs before disaster struck.

And it struck in the form of a tickle in Blue Prog’s nose. Although the blue-garbed ninja tried to ignore it, the tickle persisted and grew. It felt like a bunch of Fishies had flown up his nose and were mounting a major party in his nostrils.

Eventually, the tickle reached the point that Blue Prog couldn’t stand it anymore. He sneezed.

Unfortunately, when Blue Prog sneezed, he blew their cover and told the Whammys that there were intruders in their midst.

Which wasn’t too bad, they might have still survived had things ended there.

But, of course, they didn’t.

When Blue sneezed, he also broke his concentration, which in turn caused the Invis No Jitsu to vanish. Which enabled the Whammy’s to see them; which caused Polka-dot to scream and jump into his partner’s arms with surprised fear; which caused Blue to lose his balance; which caused them to tumble to the ground in a tangle of antennae, weapons and legs; which, of course, drew the attention of every Whammy in a fifty foot radius and alerted them to Blue and Polka-dot’s position; which caused the Whammys to feel threatened and attack the intruders; which resulted in the Whammys hurling their Hammers of Doom at the intruders; which ended with Blue and Polka-dot getting pelted with hard, iron mallets.

In short, it was a pure disaster.

Screaming in fear, Blue and Polka-dot gave up any pretence of dignity and broke into a mad dash for the exit.

But the Whammys had no intention of letting them off that easy. Enraged, the beasts chased after the blue-garbed ninja and his polka-dotted friend in a crazed attempt to pound the hapless ninjas flat with their hammers.

“We‘re gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!” Blue and Polka-dot screamed in unison.

“Not even remotely. Anvil No Jitsu!”

“What the-?” Polka-dot looked over his shoulder, just in time to witness an anvil fall from the sky and come crashing down on the Whammy nearest them.

A cloud of smoke exploded out of nowhere right behind Blue and Polka-dot. As the dust and debris cleared, it revealed the other three Ninja Progs: White, Pink and Red.

“Alright, team, let‘s go to work!” White Prog drew his bokken and held it at the ready as the advancing Whammy hoard bore down on him. “Take no prisoners!”

“Right!” Red Prog whipped out his shuriken and sent them flying through the air. And in the process downed a couple of angry Whammys.

“HIIIIIYA!” Pink Prog burst into motion. The female program shot forward into the crowd of Whammys and weaved her way in and out of the hoard; all along the course she took the Whammys fell and collapsed to the ground, victims of her fearful sword skills.

“Hey, guys!” Red shouted at the still fear-frozen Blue and Polka-dot Progs as he hurled his weapons at all angles. “Feel free to jump in any time!”

At his words, the two Progs came to life. Blue Program lashed out with his swords to cut down any enemy that came near him while Polka-dot cut loose with a storm of Kunai’s that took out those monkeys that were threatening him.

Meanwhile, White was dropping anvil after anvil on his opponents with his ‘Anvil No Jitsu’ move.

“How many of these guys are there?” Red grumbled as he fired off shuriken after shuriken; he barely took the time to aim, he merely fired at anything near him that moved.

“Too many!” White shouted, “We can‘t defeat them separately, we need our combined ultimate attack!”

“Works for me!” Blue Prog leapt through the air to join his comrades.

“Polka-dot, prepare to attack! We must use the Dual Ninja!” Pink vaulted out of the Whammy crowd and hit the ground beside her apprentice.

“Here we go! Ninja Progs, unite!” White Program whipped out his Bokken and held it aloft. “The Power of the Prog!”

Red Prog screamed for no reason as he thrust his shuriken skyward and poured his energy into the weapon. Beside him, Blue was doing the same.

Slowly but surely, the Bokken, Sword and Shuriken fused together into one long spear with a large head. The three Programs took hold of the weapon and yanked it down to their level, together they positioned it to strike and unleash it’s fury on their enemies.

“SUPER WET SPEAR JAB OF DOOM!!”

The Ninja Programs lashed out with their weapon, creating a tidal wave of water that swept through the area and took out a large portion of the Whammys.

Meanwhile, Pink and Polka-dot were unbridling their full power as well.

Pink held her swords high and focused all of her energy into her weapons.

“Power to the Prog!” Polka-dot leaped into the air behind Purple and emptied his power into his Kunais. When he felt that the weapons carried sufficient charge, he snapped his non-existent arms foreword and sent his daggers flying straight into Purple’s weapons.

“MEGA ROLLING CUTTER SLASH OF DEATH!!”

With an inarticulate scream, Pink Prog performed two quick slashes with her blades. Two twin crescents of energy erupted from her swords and circled through the air, mowing down anything in their path.

When the mass chaos dissolved, the Ninja Programs were the only being left standing.

“Whew!” Red breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his forehead. “Well, that was fun, who‘s up for round two?”

Blue and Polka-dot promptly fainted.

“Ya know, I just realized something.” Red Program winced as an unwanted thought appeared in his mind. “Blue and Polka-dot failed to get through the Whammy, and we just killed all the Whammy… How are we supposed to beat the Whammy Test now and gain the ability to talk to this Midnight Sage guy?”

At his words, Blue and Polka-dot snapped awake and sat up in horror.

“Please tell me that we didn‘t just mess up royally.” Polka-dot begged.

“No, you didn‘t.” White Prog chuckled. “Don‘t worry, I have undergone the Whammy Test several times in the past. In my most recent attempt, I succeeded and gained the trust of the Midnight Sage.”

“Oh, good.” Blue sighed in relief, relief which abruptly turned into the unparallel horror as he realized that… “Wait, you mean that you could already had contact with the Midnight Sage?! You mean that we didn‘t have to go through that nightmare of a Whammy Test?!”

“Yep.” White nodded.

“Then why put us through that?”

“Because it was funny.”

“Aye…” Blue’s eyes rolled up as he fainted again.

“Alright, enough already. So how do we contact the Midnight Sage?” Red gave into his impatience.

“It‘s easy enough.” Whit pulled a strange mechanical device out of his garments and held it to his ear. “I have him on my cell phone’s speed-dial.”

Pink and Red joined Blue and Polka-dot as they collapsed in disbelief.

End.
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