Identity Crisis second chapter up!

[Flame Buster]

Identity Crisis

By: Flame Buster

"So, where was it?" Netto asked while skating down the street.

"A place called The Green Delicacy," Rockman replied.

"It sounds like a restaurant," Netto said, looking down at his shoulder.

"It is a restaurant, Netto-kun," Rockman said."You should be listening when Meijin talks."

"What's your point?" Netto asked brazenly.

"My point-," Rockman started, but was cut off.

"Forget it, we're here now," Netto interrupted, stopping in front of a red brick building with a green roof and a sign bearing the name The Green Delicacy.

"Netto-kun, don't go inside!" Rockman exclaimed as Netto reached for the door,"Did you listen to Meijin at all?"

"No, why?"

"The whole place is charged with all the electricity of three city blocks!" Rockman exclaimed again, "You would have been fried within seconds!"

Netto eyed the gold doorknob he was about to touch with more apprehension now.

"Fine," Netto said, "might as well try to find a way to plug in." He then eyed a plug-in port through an open window to the kitchen.

"Plug in, Rockman.EXE!" Netto yelled, while pressing the button."Transmission!"

A beam of light came out of the PET and struck the plug in port on the side of an oven.

Rockman landed on the hard Cyberworld floor and noticed one thing. There was an entire army of Mettaurs and Billy's about to attack him. The fact that they were already in a circle around him didn't help either.

"Netto-kun, I need a chip!" Rockman cried.

"Battlechip, Bamboo Sword, Slot-in!" Netto answered, while slotting in the aforementioned chip.

Rockman yelled and dashed at his opponents while his sword formed on his arm. He slashed away at the first wave of mettaurs, trying to keep as much distance from him and the viruses as possible.

This was not an easy task, however. The viruses proved to be much more advanced than regular ones, possessing both increased strength and dodging skills.

Rockman yelled in pain as the Billys shocked him while the Mets attacked with their pickaxes.

"Netto-kun! I need something better!" Rockman cried while helplessly trying to protect himself.

"Okay then, Bamboo Lance! Slot in!" Netto said, slotting in the chip.

Many shoots of bamboo sprang from the ground, impaling them and deleting them. Suddenly, however, more vruses sprang from the remaining ones and they resumed their numbers and attacked.

"Netto-Kun!!!!!" Rockman pleaded as the viruses continued to attack and destroy him.

"Rockman needs to finish them quickly," Netto stated, then got an idea, "Rockman! Program Advance!"

"Program Advance!" Rockman yelled as well while his sword disappeared.

"Spread Gun, triple slot-in!" Netto said as two blue guns formed on his two arms, finally fusing into a giant, many pronged version of the former.

"HYPER BURST!," They both yelled in unison as the huge gun unleashed a torrent of shimmering energy blasts toward the viruses, destroying every last one.

"We did it!" Rockman exclaimed.

"Then why hasn't the electricity stopped?" Netto asked eying the crackling windowpane, "Keep going, there's some thing else here!"

"Okay, Netto-kun!" Rockman yelled as he ran into the next area. Rockman suddenly stopped as he noticed Thunderclouds covering the entire ceiling of the area.

"What the hell?" Netto yelled, perplexed.

"There's no way a simple virus outbreak could have done this," Rockman said, "Netto-kun, this is the work of a navi!"

"That's right punk!" a mysterious voice yelled as a bolt of lightning struck Rockman, throwing him to the ground.

"Who are you!?" Rockman yelled while rising from the floor.

A navi came down from the sky. He was as tall as Colonel and had a navy helmet with three streaks going through it. He had a black bodysuit with more streaks throughout and had navy gloves. His crest was a cloud with four lightning bolts protruding from it.

"I am Thunderhead," he said as his navy boots touched the floor, "and I'm the last thing you will see!"

Rockman broke into a stance, "Why are you doing this?"

"That's for master to know and no one to find out," Thunderhead laughed.

"You tell us right now, or we beat your face in!" Netto yelled, already frustrated.

"We shall see!" Thunderhead yelled as he sent another bolt from the sky down.

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I know it sucks, but what do you think?
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[Midnight]

The main thing I have to say--it's FAR too short. Things are very much rushed throughout the length of the chapter, and the action, although adequate, seemed cliched and overused. There's a lot of questions that the reader could be asking at this point, and although some questions are good, questions about missing detail is not so much. Perhaps you could try elaborating on the events in this chapter--this is an adequate framework, but it lacks description--which does nothing to hold the reader in.

Otherwise, it's a decent first job.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Flame Buster]

I redid the first chapter and put more detail in now, what do you think?
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[Flame Buster]

Double post



Thunder Wave

By: Flame Buster


Rockman nimbly dodged to the side, avoiding the electrical blast by Thunderhead.

"I'll ask once again," Rockman stated. "Who are you working for?"

"Heh, you really are as dumb as you look," Thunderhead cackled as he began to glow. "Thunder Volt!"

Rockman jumped to the side as he avoided a blue lightning strike from Thunderhead's hand.

"Do you really think that I'm just going to blabber out Master's plan?" Thunderhead said

"Netto-kun! He won't tell, we must fight him." Rockman stated while dodging another Thunder Volt. "Do it quickly!"

"Okay, Fire Sword, Fire Blade, double slot in!" Netto yelled in response.

Two orange hilts appeared on Rockman's arms. The left arm sprouting a glowing orange sword while from his right arm a metal blade with an orange glow emerged.

"Netto-kun! Why didn't you give me a wood chip?" Rockman screamed as Thunderhead struck out another blast from the sky.

"I don't have any more!" Netto yelled. "We used all of them on those viruses!"

"Fine then, raaaah!" Rockman yelled as he charged toward his opponent.

"Battlechip! Aqua Sword, Slot-in!" A mysterious voice said from an unknown source.

"Where did that that come from?"Rockman and Netto said together as a water tank with a blue blade formed on Thunderhead's arm.

"That? That was my operator!" Thunderhead laughed as he slashed away at Rockman, who could barely hang on.

"You have an Op?" Rockman managed out before having to dodge another unwelcome strike.

"What? You thought I was a worthless darkloid, or a stupid Doppelganger?" Thunderhead said as he continued to mercilessly destroy Rockman. "Don't even dare mock me like that!"

"Netto-kun! He has the advantage of Battlechips as well!" Rockman cried" Do something!"

"Fine, Fine!" Netto said in defeat as he looked through his folder for anything that might help him, anything at all. He sifted through his folder until he spotted it.

Netto grinned.

"Netto-kun! Rockman pleaded as he was forced to his knees, gasping for breath.

"Soul Unison! Wood Soul, Slot-in!" Netto cried.

A green light surrounded Rockman as His legs were covered with wooden armor. His legs and torso were covered by a bulky wooden trunk. The transformation was done as armour covered Rockman's hands and helmet.

"You said you didn't have any wood chips!" Rockman said in joy.

Heh, I forgot about my Soul Unisons!" Netto grinned. "Now destroy him!"

"Kogarashi!" Netto yelled as he unleashed a giant spiral of wind upon Thunderhead.

"Gah!" Thunderhead spat as the wind grazed his side as he tried to dodge.

"Woody Tower!" Rockman yelled as he unleashed giant tree trunks from the ground.

"Argh!" Thunderhead yelled as he was speared through the stomach.

"Don't worry Thunderhead!" The mysterious voice yelled." FirePunch 3, Slot-"

"Not so fast!" Rockman yelled as he charged at Thunderhead, Bamboo sword in hand.

"Noooo!" Thunderhead yelled, classic villain style as he was sliced across the chest.

"Go tell you're so called Master that we're taking him down!" Netto said in glee.

Sir, we must go!" Thunderhead said against the pain.

"Roger that!" The voice said. "Plug out Thunderhead!"

Rockman sighed as he collapsed to the floor, exhausted from the battle. His Wood Soul armor disappeared as he logged out.

"Let's get you to a healing lab, pronto!" Netto said as he skated to Scilab.

"Netto-kun," Rockman said.

"Yes Rockman," Netto answered as he rounded a corner.

"Why did they do that?" Rockman asked. "What was the point?"

I don't know," Netto said as he dashed even faster. " But I'm sure as Hell going to find out!"


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Another sucky chapter, courtesy of me!
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