Changes I've Made. PG Lainet fluff

 
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kuro-kitsune
Net Agent



Joined: 26 Jul 2005
Posts: 268
Location: raincover, on the wet coast

PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 1:13 pm    Post subject: Changes I've Made. PG Lainet fluff Reply with quote

“Hey, Laika! Can you help me with these?” the young brunette shouted over to the aqua-haired teen as he attempted to figure out which groceries he needed for his mum’s spaghetti.

A pair of leaf green eyes turned and focused onto the shorter brunette; who was now trying to reach some ingredient or another up on the top shelf of the nearby market. Laika waited a brief moment before moving over to where Netto was trying to acquire the spice his mother needed.

“I don’t see why you couldn’t just send one of our navis to go and get the ingredients for us,” Laika stated curtly, as he easily reached above the younger boy’s head to grab the tomato paste Netto had been trying to get.

“Thanks!!” Netto took the can and placed it into the grocery basket he was carrying around. “Rockman is with Papa right now, something about a check-up... I think.”

The soldier from Shaaro raised an eyebrow at the statement but Netto had already moved off to another part of the store to gather the rest of the required ingredients.

“Hurry up, Laika! Don’t you want to get this done so Mama can make the spaghetti?” Netto called out as he looked behind him to see said net battler standing in the same spot.

“Don’t you ever get tired of running around like a kid on a sugar rush?”

“Eh? Did you say something?”

Laika shook his head in disbelief. This was the person who saved the net world 5 times over?

“No, it was nothing.”

The younger boy gave him an ‘I don’t believe you at all’ look, before resuming his quest for spices.

Laika stood and watched the energetic brunette run around the store, passing aisles and then doubling back because the items he requires were located there. A small smile flickered across his face before he resumed his usual serious expression. Laika still found it difficult to believe that he had changed so much, and in such a small amount of time, after meeting Netto. Before, he would have no problem with guilt when he was ordered to reach a certain goal. He did not hesitate when it came to ordering his navi to delete the security navis during the Control X scenario, nor did he bat an eye at the idea of deleting Netto’s navi when the Darkloid still needed to be taken care of. After though...

“Uwa!!!”

The aqua-haired teen broke out of his stupor and rushed to the source of the cry. He arrived just in time to break Netto’s fall.

“Ow... Oh! I’m sorry, Laika!!” Netto apologized as Laika helped him off the floor after the tumble.

The only response he received was a gentle smile and a sway of aqua hair.

Perhaps... The consequences our relationship was worth it.

XxXxXxX

Uh... This was written for the wordclaim50 community on LJ, which one of my friends talked me into joining.... Um... T_T I can't write... What am I doing here??

~kuro-kitsune~
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Neko
Queen of Fluff



Joined: 15 Mar 2005
Posts: 1217
Location: The computer

PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was a nice drabble X3 Sweet and fluffy.

If you want to develop the idea more then adding legnth wouldn't be a bad idea but this was nicely written Kuro-chan. Well done.
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DjangoSP
The True Solar Boy



Joined: 25 Jul 2005
Posts: 575
Location: Traveling the world, recruiting people to help me rule my manga, anime, and video game empire.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2005 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laika being nice...I never would've seen this coming. But you did an awesome job, Kuro-Kitsune!! :D I hope you write more!
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Midnight
This is a Hilbert Space


Age: 37
Joined: 18 Mar 2005
Posts: 3089
Location: The AfterMath. Otherwise, New York City.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2005 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh come, kuro--this was a great job for its length. If you wish to extend it, you could spend a little more time on the characterization, since the flashback was the majority of the latter half of the vignette. It's adequate for its length, but I believe that it would be a bit better if it were a touch longer.
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Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3
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Kitty-Chan
Net Police



Joined: 08 Jul 2005
Posts: 438
Location: Massillon, Ohio, USA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 3:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I liked it; don't worry, I'm a worse writer than you...waaayyy worse. -_-;
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