A Rockman Christmas Carol

[Kupo.EXE]

Kupo decided he needed to write a new fic and with christnas coming up he decided to do a rockman rendition of Charles Dickens' a Christmas Carol. Because it's going to be fairly long I am going to put it up in chapters maybe just 2 or 3 though.

It's a comedy in small ways but don't laugh at my bad dialougue or ideas. Ridicule can be expressed in so many better ways.

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A Rockman.EXE Christmas carol

Chapter 1


“Bah, humbug!” Netto yelled. A large amount of eggnog had found it’s way to his lap.
“Netto, you are the life of the party!” Rockman laughed, Roll joined in, draping her arms over his shoulders.
“When will Enzan get here? A party isn’t a party without him.” Netto tried to laugh but he failed. Netto was never really a holiday person, in facdt he hatd the entire season. Not because he didn’t get presents, which he did. Not because he was jewish, which he wasn’t. It was because something about the cold and the dark reminded him of Saito, his long deceased brother. It was no secret that he was not very cheerful, in fact the entire holiday was pretty much everyone trying to make Netto see the good in life.
“I brought Figgie pudding!” Enzan dashed into the room, carrying a large bowlful of a brown foul-smelling substance. This was the first time Netto had seen him so happy. He was even earing a tacky little santa hat you could pull out of the bargain bin at L-mart. Blues entered the server in which Rockman, Roll and the other navis all dressed in festive attire stood conversing. Blues smiled and handed Rockman a small parcel. Rockman ripped it open revealing a small can.
“A can of whoop-ass huh?” Rockman grinned slightly staring at the label.
“One hundred percent pwningly goodness!” Blues smiled and ran over to present the other navis with more unappealing Christmas gifts.
“You know if he gained one hundred cyber pounds and painted the purple on him white, he would make the best Santa Clause!”
“Hey, Netto!” Meiru yelled at Netto from across the room waving her hand. She ran over to him happily as though trying to spread her good mood like smallpox.
“Glad your having fun.” Netto said sarcastically.
“Come on Netto, smile, everyone showed up, including the announcer from that TV station.”
“Teletoon, it’s unrealistic!”
“I’m just gonna do what I do every year.”
“Sit in the corner and drink yourself silly on eggnog?” Meiru put her arm around him in an attempt to make him feel more welcome.
“Actually I was planning to eat those cookies over there.” Netto said with a small smile.
“Good for you now come on.” Meiru tried to pull him into the crowd of people standing in his living room. She turned briefly to see Anetta standing across the room pointing above her head. Mistletoe hung there rather misshapenly as though someone had just shoved it there quickly just then. Meiru leaned over and kissed Netto lightly on the forehead, she then went back and joined the crowd. Netto left the house and walked along the cold snowy streets. No one was outside just lights and decorations, along with the occasional caroler. It seemed to Netto that he was the only person who disliked this season. Just as he was walking, a small plump woman walked up to him.
“Would you care to donate to the orphans so they can get a fire for Christmas?” The lady said politely with a large grin on her face.
“Not now…” Netto rushed by her and accidentally knocked her bag out of her hands. He didn’t stop to help her pick it up though.
He walked further until he came upon someone he recognized. Dekao stood there with a shovel in his hand.
“Hey Netto!” He waved his hand at Netto who merely shrugged and walked on. “Wait!” he yelled.
Netto turned to Dekao.
“Tomorrow me and the rest of the guys are all having non-alchaholic eggnog at Yaito’s tree house. You want to come?”
“I wouldn’t come to save your life.” Netto turned, he continued on through the narrow streets until he found a small park. Netto had been there frequently but with the fresh coat of snow it seemed nicer and more pleasant, and to add to the emotion he felt, a soft tune drifted through the air. Netto walked towards it and spotted a boy about his age whistling away. Netto walked over to him but as he passed by a tree and regained sight of him, he had vanished. With this strange encounter in mind, he decided to leave and go back home. It was Christmas eve after all and his parents would wonder what had happened to him. He checked his pocket for his PET but he had forgotten it. This did not happen frequently, but it reminded him of the need to get home.
As he entered the door he saw nobody remained but his parents staring at him from halfway across the room.
“Where have you been?” Haruka Hikari asked quickly.
“I was out for a walk.” Netto said calmly, he didn’t pick up his head.
“Well tell us next time!” Dr. Hikari yelled. “It’s Christmas even and you can’t even show the dignity to be here with our friends and family?”
Netto said nothing, he merely stepped up into his room, his parents demonic stare chasing him the whole way.
He lay in his bed, tired, but yet he could not sleep. He turned to his clack to check the time.
“11:59 on Christmas eve.” He sighed to himself. He stared at the clock for a few seconds waiting for the minute to change, but as the exact time struck 12:00 it erupted the alarm, Netto scrambled to try and turn it off, but it wasn’t even plugged in. All the other clocks in the room also went off right at that moment. Netto squealed and tried to wake up Rockman but he couldn’t. He just sat there until the sound died away. When it did, he lay back on the bed and waiting for the nightmare to end. But it didn’t.
“Netto!” A deep, foreboding voice rang from outside his window. The loud rustle of chains soon followed. Netto shot up, he tried to cover himself with his blanket so he wouldn’t be seen but it didn’t work. A tall figure erupted through the window into his room. It spotted the large lump on Netto’s bed easily and ripped away the blankets.
“NETTO!” It yelled again, even louder this time. Netto yelled loudly, the figure hurriedly shut him up. “Do you not recognize me?”
Netto stared transfixed on the ghostly figure.
“Saito!” Netto said happily, he rushed over to hug hum but he went right through Saito.
“Netto, you have forgotten the true meaning of this holiday.” Sato said ignoring his brother’s foolish hug attempt.
“Saito, why are you here, and why are you draped in chains?” Netto asked glumly.
“These are the chains that I forged in the afterlife metal shop… They represent my transgressions stupid!” Saito yelled at the dumbfounded Netto. “You bear a chain not double the sized of this, and you will be forced to wear it as I have. But you can still erase your transgressions… Tonight you shall be visited by three spirits-”
“Uh, tonight’s not good for me, can they take a rain check?” Netto interrupted.
“No they cannot, the first will arrive tonight at 1:00, the second the next night at the same time, the third, on the third night at the same time.”
“But Saito!” Netto yelled, but Saito had already vanished out the window.
“Netto waited for 1:00, staring at his clock. Every minute seemed like an hour to him, and every fifteen minutes, a decade. Finally he watched in horror as 12:59 became 1:00. At first nothing happened, he looked around the room, he saw nothing. He attempted to settle on the fact that it was a dream but it was too real. Finally as a minute passed, a birhgt light came from outside his window. Netto recoiled into his bed, staring at the light. It passed through his window and into his room where it took shape. It emerged, to Netto’s surprise, as Slur, the off world female navi who came from Duo.
“Netto!” She called out in the way Saito had before. “I am the ghost of Christmas past, bear but a touch of my hand, and you shall soar over the rooftops.”
“But… but, but I am not fully dressed, and it will be cold, I must decline.” Netto stuttered, he was attempting to sound mature and calm but he sounded more like a cowardice child who spoke like Shakespeare.
“Never you mind,” Slur said calmly, “the cold will not affect you.”
At risk of being vaporized by Slur, he walked forward and grabbed her hand. Instantly they both flew out the window and over the rooftops. Netto screamed loudly and clung onto Slur for dear life. Slur calmly stared ahead.
Netto closed his eyes until he felt the wind cease, he opened his eyes to reveal his school gym. A slow song was playing he looked around to catch a glimpse of someone he knew, when suddenly he saw, himself. A younger version of himself, no older then 10 ran by him.
“Do you remember this occasion?” Slur walked up beside him.
“Of course, this was two years ago, at the school Christmas formal dance.” Netto said happily, he began to sway in line with the music without even realizing it.
“Do you know who they are?” Slur waved her arm at three children, all flocking behind the younger Meiru all holding some form of flower,
“Of course! That’s Devon Gibs.” He pointed to the tallest of the three, his curly black hair made him stand out, although he wasn’t particularly good looking. “And Tony Hamelton.” He pointed to the short boy with red hair that made him look like his head was on fire. “And William Forester.” He pointed at the medium sized one with very straight obviously artificial black hair, he wore a black beanie, which made him look even paler, then he was. Meiru was attempting to lose them when she ran into the younger Netto.
“Thank you spirit, you can take me home now.” Netto tried to walk away but the navi urged him forward.
“These are your memories, you know what happens next.” Slur pointed at the two. It seemed as though through some form of sorcery, everything other then the two children seemed to have temporarily vanish, all sounds died out and all you could hear was the little Netto talking slowly.
“Umm, uh… err, you uh, wanna um dance?” He coughed out without even looking directly at her.
“um… ok.” She replied quickly. Netto grabbed her shoulders and jerked her through the motions.
“Ok spirit this is all we need to see, let us move on!” Netto tried to forcibly move Slur, but she merely pointed.
Netto and Meiru danced for several seconds before Netto stuck one of his left feet on Meiru’s toes. She recoiled and held her foot. She cursed quietly.
Netto backed up and then broke into a run, he ran all the way out of the room.
“This was a traumatic memory for you, why?” She asked him, as though she could not physically comprehend the feeling of embarrassment and shame.
“Can we leave yet?” Netto said angrily, he had his back turned to Slur, he rubbed his eyes vigorously.
“What is that on your cheek?” She rubbed her hand over his face where a stream of tears was falling.
“Nothing.” Netto insisted. “I just have something I my eye, that’s all.”
“Then let us move on.” She said simply.
Netto opened his eyes, he was now in a large snow covered area. From nehind a snowdrift, three children ran out.
“That’s Dekao, and Meiru and me!” Netto pointed out. “This must have been five years or so ago.”
“Indeed it was, if what I am observing is correct, then this was December 22nd?”
“Yes, yes, it was a snow day and we were messing around outside the school.” Netto said, instead of lost in the nostalgia in his mind he was living through it again, but in third person!
They watched as Dekao and Meiru made snow angels and Netto kicked snow on them. They chased him down and started a snowball fight.
“You seem to be enjoying yourselves.” Slur said calmly.
“Indeed, let us see more.” Netto said enthusiastically.
They both walked through time to find Netto, not much younger then he was, at school.
“Damn, this stuff is hard!” Netto was attempting to write a report on the computer built into his desk. He was the only one in the room, if Netto wasn’t reliving a memory then he wouldn’t know why Netto would spend anytime at all that wasn’t necessary at school.
“Come on Netto lets go home.” Rockman said soothingly.
“I have no home anymore.” Netto turned away from the computer where Rockman stared back.
“So what if you had a brother, so what if he died. I’m him, accept it or you won’t be able to do anything ever again. Your parents want you home, I’ll meet you there.
“Oh spirit, why must you torment me like this?” Netto asked.
“To understand what Christmas is you must recall the bad parts as well as the good.” Slur told him.
“I don’t care anymore, just take me home.” He fell onto the floor but instead of hitting solid ground he hit a mattress. He was back in his own bed, and wondering what had happened.
“Saito?” He yelled into nothingness. “I think I learned my lesson, no need for the other spirits. I will honor Christmas and such. He turned to his alarm clock, 1:00. Time had passed, he knew it, but how much, an hour, a day, a week. He lay in his bed, wide awake and aware of the coming of the second spirit.

tell me what you think m'kay, I'm gonna post the second chapter as soon as I finish writing it.

[Unknown Neo]

Hmm, Interesting idea. I'll probally keep reading to see how you do all of this. Nice work.

[Yue-chan]

Nice, someone else is doing a parody of A Christmas Carol. Should be interesting to see how you go about it. One thing I would suggest though it to put space between each of the lines/paragraphs, because its hard to read the way it is now. Otherwise, nice.
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"Life is like a video game; the final bosses always suck." -twinling

[Kupo.EXE]

I did that on word but when I imported it all the spaces disappeared and so did my indent.

[Yue-chan]

[Kupo.EXE]

it's funny that I can't get my indent back but I think I can get the spaces back. It made alot more sence with the indent, I just press tab but it doesn't waork when posting.

[Kupo.EXE]

well here is chapter 2, I'm sorry but I'm known for overcomplicating my fics so top make the cratchet scene possible I had to make a small battle scene which makes no logical sense. oh and I hope you laugh at tiny-*****, it took me a while to come up with and the dinner scene was all just random improv.

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Chapter 2

Netto wandered out of his bed and into the hall, he heard a high-pitched girlish laugh coming from his living room. He hesitantly entered to see none other then Colorman, the world three navi whose stand up was worse then Jerri Seinfeld on drugs.
“Oh hello Netto I am the ghost of Christmas presents!”

“Don’t you mean present? Like present tense?”

“No I mean presents like in those things you get on Christmas! I think I’d like to give you one!” He clapped his rather large hands and the entire room decorated itself in brightly colored lights.

“Wow, Slur didn’t do that!” Netto remarked.

“I don’t get along well with Slur, when I make a small joke about emotionless navis she gets all medieval on my ass.”

“I can see why…” Netto said quietly.

“Well moving on, you see I am gonna show you things that are going on right now that maybe you were unaware of. Just touch my giant bouncy ball and we shall begin.”

“Boy spirits do like to be touched don’t they?”

“Oh shut up and touch the ball!”

Netto put his hand on the ball and instantly he appeared in what looked like downtown. He gaped at the people walking around joyfully singing carols and dancing.

“Spirit? Where are we?” Netto asked curiously, gesturing to the people.

“Why it’s Christmas morning and we are going to go see what you’re missing.” Colorman began moving down the street, Netto remembered this route very clearly, they were heading to Yaito’s mansion.

“Why are we going in this direction?” Netto asked.

“Boy you sure like to ask questions, I’m starting to think that if humans don’t keep their mouths moving it’ll heal itself shut like a scar.” Colorman remarked.

They walked right up to Yaito’s mansion but instead they turned and headed for the tree house. They climbed up and saw none other then Dekao, Meiru, Chisao, Yaito, Tohru, and Enzan. They all sat on couches on either side of the room conversing like old men at a bar.

“And then I said, hey that’s no chocolate bar, that’s my lunch!” Dekao laughed heartily, no one else found it funny but they all laughed in spite of themselves anyway.

“I only wish Netto were here to enjoy this company and the free curry buffet.” Meiru sighed quietly. Netto was busy staring at the curry buffet to even notice but Colorman yanked him away.

“Yeah, but maybe we should just forget about him and play a game,” Chisao said happily, “I have a good one, it’s called yes and no. Basically I think of something and you have to guess what it is but I can only answer yes or no.”

“I like this game.” Yaito said cheerfully, a sparkling grapejuice in her hand. “Is it an animal?”

“Absolutely!” Chisao said quickly.

“Is it furry?” Dekao asked excitedly.

“I should hope not.” Chisao laughed.

“Is it a tame animal?” Tohru said quaintly.

“Hmm… Yes AND no.” Chisao said after a small amount of deliberation.

“Is it a bear?” Meiru asked.

“No.” Chisao said simply.

“Is it an angry animal?” Dekao said, his overzealousness was hilarious to Colorman.

“Yes!” Chisao chuckled kind of.

“Is it a Bird?” Netto yelled.

“They can’t hear you.” Colorman retorted.

“I know,” said Yaito, “It’s Netto!”

“You win.” Chisao began laughing everyone joined in, including Netto.

“I’m the animal, that’s a good one Chisao!” Netto calmed down and rubbed his eyes, but when he opened them he was no longer in the treehouse, he was now standing at the edge of a table with several net navis sitting around it. Roll, Rockman, Gutsman, Iceman, Glyde and Trill.


“Ouch!” Trill yelled, she was attempting to get up off the ground but she wasn’t moving her left leg.

“Trill!” Rockman went a grabbed her and put her in her seat. He grabbed a small crutch and put it beside the table.

“Lets say grace before we begin ingesting virtual food.” Roll suggested.

“Ok, Trill would you like to say it for us?” Rockman smiled and looked over at Trill.
“Dear Jesus.EXE, thank you for this wonderful cyber meal which we are about to download, transmissamen!”

“Battlechip, Christmas dinner 1, slot in!” Iceman said and he materialized a small amount of food on the table.

“God.EXE bless us, every navi!” Trill said, everyone gave her an adoring look.

“Tiny… Trill?” netto said awkwardly.

“Yep, she hurt her leg playing today and now she has to use a cyber crutch.” Colorman said sympathetically.

“That’s awful!”

“It gets worse.” He waved his hand and all of a sudden they were in a park, Rockman was pushing Trill on a small swig when all of a sudden a navi came down and announced itself.

“I am Zoanaroid Shadowman, and by orders of lord faltzer I must delete you Rockman.”

Rockman readied his Rockbuster and jumped in front of Trill.

“Like hell you will! Rockbuster!” He fired a barrage of shots at shadowman who disappeared.

“I assumed you would be more powerful if you were able to defeat Punk.”

A kunai came down Rockman barely dodged it, he fell the ground in front of Trill.

“Papa Rockman!” Trill yelled, but as we all have learned from watching countless episodes of Inuyasha, yelling someone else’s name rarely helps.

“Netto, I need a battlechip!” Rockman forced out his words, Netto could tell he could barely breath, but what puzzled Netto was that Rockman was in fact breathing.

A second Kunai came down, Rockman dodged right. Shadowman smiled from where he hid and aimed a third, not at Rockman, but at Trill. Rockman jumped in it’s path, he felt a pain in his side as he hit the ground, he stared at his side, a large gash had cut him open but it wasn’t severe, just a cut. He turned to Trill, who lay sprawled on the ground, Kunai stuck in her stomach. Her eyes half closed yet she didn’t shed a tear. Rockman crawled over to her.


“Trill, are you damaged beyond repair?” Rockman asked, tears streaming from his eyes.

“Rockman…” Trill started, but she would never finish the sentence, her body disintegrated into nothingness. Rockman clenched his fist and shook angrily, a taunt came from a building above.

“A ninja is quick witted, if you were smart you would have left the child to die in order to gain reaction time to my next attack. Pathetic.” Shadowman said patronizingly.

“I’ll show you who’s pathetic!” Rockman moved so quickly it looked as though he had been transported, he appeared right behind Shadowman and grabbed him. He held his arms behind him and jumped both of them off the building, Rockman stood on shadowman’s back until he heard the deafening crash of Shadowman’s body to the ground.

“Rockman!” Netto yelled, but even if he could be heard, no one would have because he was no longer in the park. He was in a graveyard.

“My time grows short, I must bring you to the third and final spirit. Goodbye Netto.”

“But what about rockman?” Netto tried to grab Colorman but he had already faded into the mist that surrounded him.

“Spirit? Third spirit I don’t think I need you to come I’ve learned my lesson you can take me back now!” Netto yelled, but no sound came from the mist. A small cloud of mist passed by him, he thought he saw a glimpse of something in it but it disappeared as quickly as it came. He began to run, but in which direction he could not tell. He ran until he hit a wall. Netto backed up, he had hit a clocktower and the time was 12:59. The minute hand etched into then top position and a bell rang. Instantly a cloud formed around him, creating a wall of mist, it began to come closer and closer until it enveloped him. When Netto opened his eyes he gazed upon a familiar face.

“Forte?”

[Unknown Neo]

Figures he'd be the last spirit. Nice work although I think trill's a boy.

[ChibiForte]

AAH!!! I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF AT THIS!! Especially the first chapter. Nice ficcy, Kupo-chan!! *glomps Kupo.EXE and accidentally strangles him*

EDIT: And yes, it has been confirmed that Trill IS, in fact, a boy. ^_^
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Sig made by me. <3

[Kupo.EXE]

holy crip I have been calling trillk the worng name because of what? I actualy assumed it was female because of your fan navi trill who is female.