Rockman.EXE:The College Years-3-82:Great Battle of Light(sp)

Midnight · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:49 pm Post subject:

I have to agree. Although this was a deviation from what little plot that you have in general, this is definitely not a bad chapter. Although you still haven't developed the knack of writing good, enrapturing combat scenarios, the concept of the chapter was good, and provided a decent read.

This actually was a fair concept to revolve a filler about, and what good filler it was. Don't let the momentum slip now.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

Flame Buster · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject:

This chapter was good, if not slightly rushed. The whole return of Freezeman was a good idea.

I just have one question, Why didn't Sean have any qualms with deleting Freezeman? I would've held some remorse.
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TheWebbuilder · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 3:38 pm Post subject:

Indeed, the plot was a slight step up from where we've been.

Plotwise, this was a slight improvement. But when you gained that, you lost the decent fight scene. Combat was drab and it was all things that we had seen before, so there was little to keep our interest.

Once again, a little more originality would have been nice.

You DO need to move on past this tournament idea and get on with wherever you're going with this.

Heck, even random fights against captured CoA Net Navi would be better than this.

Rating for this chapter: 7/10.
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Anime Master ZERO · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:03 pm Post subject:

TheWebbuilder · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:28 pm Post subject:

Forget it. I'm done.

Don't look for my reviews in this fic anymore, it won't be happening for a long time.
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Viewtiful Starman · Puzzle Game Addict Age: 37 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 708

I'm curious... Did you do this with knowledge that EXE 4 is in general, the most hated of the EXE games?
And if so, are you aware that the part you're basing it on is one of the most complained about aspects of the game?

If you did, then I'm also interested in knowing why you chose to do that, knowing that people would more likely dislike it than not.

I suppose it could be to challenge yourself and try to write it in to something that would seem new that people could enjoy despite it being based on a game there's a pretty good chance they won't have liked as much as the others...

But then I'm forced to remember that in the entire tournament, you've only introduced one remotely original aspect, and used it repeatedly in nearly the exact same fashion over and over again.

Also, while it's true that both this and EXE 4 are a series of tournament fights leading to an eventual result, there is still a difference that in my opinion, makes EXE 4's handling of the tournaments far better.

In EXE 4, while the scenarios often have their own level of pointlessness and don't have anything to do with the main plot, they still took their time to establish the scenario and/or characters and give it something besides a battle and then the good guy winning the battle.

At best, you're writing what looks like you took all your time writing the battle, then tacked on the plot in about 5 minutes afterwards. While this can work when you write good battles (which you're doing more often now), it's getter really tedious done repeatedly.

Then at worst, your chapters seem to consist of nothing other than someone going up to someone else, saying "Lets fight!" and then winning, because they're the good guys and that's what good guys do. (Not really blaming you for making the good guys win all the time in general, but in a tournament that doesn't work too well IMO...)

I don't see much hope for this improving now, unless you pull some sort of amazing final battle or plot twist out at the end...

SonicNigma212

I'm really sorry for being late with my reviews on the last couple of chapters, but I've been really stressed on how I'm going to get with trying to get my Java program figured out. Well, here are the reviews for your chapters.

The chapter with the battle between both Dex and Yutaka is just as great. I mean, the way that you were able to describe the fight between both GutsMan and CrashMan is good. It's also good that you've mentioned some of the functions of the battle chip called Signal Red to the readers. I've always been curious about that one. Anyway, thanks for the info on it.

Now, for the second one. It's good to see that both Narcy and VideoMan get a shot at the spotlight. Of course, that's not what I think that most of the readers here would think. In any case, it's good that you were able to use of old character from both Axess and Stream. It's also good that Narcy still hasn't lost sight of his own vision for a pink world despite what other people say.

Now for you new chapter. I think that among all of the chapters that I've read and enjoyed so far, this one is my number one and personal favorite. I mean, it's good to see that Sean was finally able to move on with his life by doing something in his old Gospel headquarters that he should've done a long time ago. I think that I could understand where that kid stands. It's tough to make up for the sins that you do in the past, but its what we do now is what's important for one person's future. I'm going to try to move on with my own life as well. I'm going to stop thinking about what I did in the past and move on with my own life. I would be able to live without anything holding me back.

That's all the reviews that I've given to you on your chapters thus far. I hope that they would be enough. Later!

Maurice A. Nigma :grr: ^_^

Elementalman.EXE · Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 9:46 am Post subject:

Errr. What Starry Said...

This is getting stupid. It's getting redundant. I mean even more so.

GET TO THE POINT. Please. This tournament is just getting stupid. Please. Just jump to the finals and let this bad season end. Even if you have to do "And so the battles continue, Lan gets Yadda points etc. It was time for the tournament..."

If you ruin the Bubble-Aqua-Ice triangle I'll be annoyed. And remember. It's not Jaba or De puku. Its Blub basicly.

I'd add more but I'm in a hurry
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Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
1000 Post on Sept. 18 2005 at 6:29pm

Midnight · Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:20 am Post subject:

I have to agree.

The way I review this fic is that I usually just look at each chapter as a whole, and not focus too much on how the main underlying plot of the arc develops. Thus, since the recent chapters have been of decent quality, I've been covering that.

However, now that the focus has been shifted to the season in general, I'd thought I'd lay down my comments on this. I think the entire concept is quite terrible, as does Web and Starry. As it's been cited--EXE4 was the least liked of the storylines of the series, and although I cannot blame you for trying to make such an arc a little better, this is not how to do it--by crossing it with a concept from a rather dull YGO arc. The general plan of each chapter has been pretty much the same for the past 30 or so chapters, and even two chapters is enough--much less thirty. We get the point.

There should be equal emphasis on the combat and the plot. For now, after much derision on the part of your bland combat scenarios, the bulk of the focus seems to have been shifted to the combat, which still doesn't particularly shine, and the plot is suffering because of it--resorting to rather crude gimmicks to carry the chapter along to the conflict. The extra characters that you have brought in, whether by minor characters in the EXE canon or by these "RPG cameos," are really quite superfluous, because you simply do not devote enough time to developing their personalities (I cite the previous one with Narcy and pretty much all of the RPG characters that you have tossed into the past several chapters.) They seem flat to the reader and thrown in on a whim.

This fic is becoming rather predictable (more so than the previous seasons) and I'd think that unless something major happens SOON, this season will be a flop, much like the end of your last one. I retract what I said about the momentum--although the chapters individually may be getting better, the arc as a whole is stagnating. Seriously reconsider how you plan to end this arc.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

Anime Master ZERO · Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 11:09 am Post subject:

Well if this comes as good news to you, I'm in the very midst of finals. So naturally, I've ceased all writing until all exams are finished.
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Fan · Joined: 17 Aug 2005 Posts: 35 Location: S'pore

I don't want to get on your nerves, but don't you have enough exams for a while? I mean, come on. Last time, you said it was exams. And before that, exams. Now, exams. It's a little boring now, don't you think? Sigh. Can we just skip to the finals? Because I'm sure most of us know who's going to the Finals.

Staples:

Lan
Chaud
Sean
Waya
Diana
Noah
Greg
Nicol
Saiba
Maylu (I'm thinking she'll be paired up with Diana)

I also know that CMA is one of those who haven't had a turn yet, so more or less he's going to be in the finals. But here's another thing:

WE DON"T NEED TO SEE FOR OURSELVES THE CHARACTERS EACH getting 100 points. If you're going to put in all the matches that make up a total of 100, this will take very very long. Just post the finishers or something. Maybe in a 50 point stake or something. But you have to keep the battles each to a more meaningful purpose, and expands more space. If your characters each slowly take thier time, and focus one by one on each battle, this name will be ruined.

Or in short, just annouce the finalists soon. It doesn't have to be now. I used the word 'Soon'. So, take your time, but not that long. I was thinking maybe the break thing wa-

Okay, now I'm ranting. If possible, I might be flaming you. Going to apologise now, sorry. I made absolutely no sense just now and *sigh*

Just need to take a break. If you need to finish your exams, go ahead. Sorry if I offended you or such.
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Dark Liger · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 7:07 pm Post subject:

As much as I like the story, the whole tournament concept is overrated at best. I really think it's time to move on the finals - right away.

Flame Buster · Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 8:46 pm Post subject:

**Mari** · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 12:56 pm Post subject:

Please remember that it's not an obligation for a fanfic writer to finish a fanfic. He's doing this for whatever reasons he has, and he'll finish whenever he sees fit. Watch it, Fan.

FB - You could always find out, you know? It's not like it's a big secret or anything.
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Anime Master ZERO · Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 8:53 pm Post subject:

CHAPTER 3-44
Triumphant Aquatic Friendship

Tory had stopped by Higsby’s Chip Shop to restock his arsenal, so IceMan was free to spend time with AquaMan. The two Navis were chattering happily about various random topics such as what they had been up to, what their operators had been up to, whether or not they should open up their drink business with BubbleMan again, and so on. The two of them were so engaged in their conversation that they failed to notice the diver Navi they had been discussing moments ago suddenly walk up to them until he announced his arrival.

“BubbleMan!” IceMan and AquaMan squealed as they ran over to their friend and hugged him. Unfortunately for the three of them, it was time for Tory to leave the shop. IceMan begged to stay a bit longer, but his operator explained that they still had more Battle Points to win.

“Shuko, why don’t you go with Tory?” Nanako suggested, “I can take over the rest of your shift for you.” A delighted cheer from Shuko’s PET agreed with her suggestion.

“And since BubbleMan’s an independent Navi, he can come along, too,” Tory noted.

“Are you sure, Nanako?” Shuko asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nanako assured her co-worker, “After all, don’t you think Higsby would be pleased if you were to bring in some rare chips for him.” Shuko’s expression relaxed as relief washed over her.

“You’re right. I’ll go.” Shuko took off her apron and hung it up in the backroom before picking up her PET and left the chip shop with Tory. All three Aqua Navis had gathered inside the chestnut-haired boy’s PET and were chatting excitedly with one another. As Tory and Shuko went to the MetroStation, they remained completely unaware of the monk that was following them.

“We’ve got three easy victims in our sights, FlashMan,” Rei Saiko smirked.

“A trio of Aqua-element Navis. Perfect.” FlashMan laughed inside his PET. As an Elec Navi, he had no doubts that he would be able to beat any Navi that was weak to his element and all of his battles thus far had only proven that.

“Let’s go after them, Saiko,” FlashMan said to his operator, “If we beat all three of them, we can automatically go to the finals.”

“Indeed.” Rei let out a small laugh before he went after Tory and Shuko.

* * *

IceMan, AquaMan, and BubbleMan had just invented a new game and now they were playing amongst themselves. First, BubbleMan created a large bubble and then AquaMan filled it up with water until it became a water ball. Finally, IceMan froze it and the three Navis passed it to each other by tossing it into the air. Then the next Navi would try to catch it without dropping it onto the floor. Tory watched them on his PET screen with Shuko looking over his shoulder.

“Looks like they’re playing hot potato,” Tory thought aloud.

“It’s not hot potato!” IceMan cried, “It’s called…” His voice trailed off from there. As he thought about it, the aqua trio still hadn’t come up with a name for it yet.

“Well, as long as you’re having fun,” Tory assured his Navi. IceMan’s smile returned to his face and he and his two companions resumed their game.

“They’re such good friends,” Shuko commented.

“IceMan always seems to make friends easily,” Tory answered, “One time, he even befriended a Zoanoroid.”

“AquaMan is the same way,” Shuko added, “But sometimes he can be too trusting.”

“But look at where it’s brought them now.”

“What about BubbleMan?” Shuko’s last point really raised the question mark flags inside her and Tory’s heads. They honestly had no idea how BubbleMan fit into the equation. And yet the result had been the strong bond of friendship between the trio.

“Yoka Station. Please watch your step as you leave the train. Yoka Station.”

“That’s us,” Tory noted as he got up from his seat. The train slowly came to a stop and the doors opened. He and Shuko filed out onto the platform along with several other passengers and made their way up to the surface.

“What are we doing here?” asked Shuko.

“There’s just something about this place that our Navis really love, so I thought we can let them play here for a while,” Tory replied. Together, he and Shuko jacked IceMan, AquaMan, and BubbleMan into the hot springs computer, where they allowed them to romp around freely to their hearts’ content. Surely enough, that was exactly what they did. The first game the three of them started playing was hide-and-seek.

“One, two, three, four,…” IceMan covered his eyes as he counted while AquaMan and BubbleMan went off to hide. However, wherever BubbleMan hid, AquaMan followed.

“AquaMan, please go find somewhere else to hide, blub-blub,” the diver Navi pleaded, but the young Aqua Navi refused to leave his side.

“…eight, nine, ten! Ready or not, here I come!” IceMan uncovered his eyes and began to look for his friends.

“AquaMan, he’s coming, blub-blub!” BubbleMan whispered, but AquaMan still refused to leave his side.

“I will hide with BubbleMan!” the little Navi cried.

“AquaMan!”

“One, two, three! I found you!” BubbleMan turned around and saw IceMan standing before them smiling.

“Let’s play again!” the Hobbit-sized Eskimo said cheerfully.

“Okay. But this time AquaMan will count,” BubbleMan suggested.

“Okay!” agreed IceMan. However, just before the trio could resume their playtime, a sparking bulb of light shot out from nowhere and streaked towards them. BubbleMan and IceMan quickly grabbed AquaMan and jumped away just in time and the attack struck the wall.

“I have you now!” The three Aqua-element Navis turned towards the direction the voice had come from and saw FlashMan holding another bulb in his hand.

“FlashMan!”

“FlashMan, keep up the attack. But don’t delete them until we have the attention of their operators,” Rei ordered.

“Yes, Saiko. Neon Light!” FlashMan slammed the bulb against the floor and sent it shooting towards the friends. It swerved away from them at the last second and crashed into a nearby obstacle.

“Please stop!” IceMan pleaded.

“Why?” asked FlashMan, “Things are just getting started. Neon Light!”

“Ice Cube!” IceMan quickly conjured up a block of ice and pushed it forward to intercept the Neon Light. The attacks collided and an explosion followed.

“Don’t try to resist,” FlashMan laughed, “Besides, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Really?”

“Much. At least not until your operators engage in a tournament battle with us. Saiko and I only need ten more Battle Points to reach the finals.”

“Ten more Battle Points?” gasped BubbleMan.

Meanwhile in the real world, Rei had just found Tory and Shuko and confronted them with the situation their Navis were in.

“And that’s the gist of it,” Rei finally concluded.

“And I can see we’ve got no other way out of this,” Tory muttered, “Alright, we accept your challenge.” He and Shuko slotted in their Battle Point chips and Rei did the same.

“I have a grand total of ninety Battle Points!” the sinister monk announced.

“All three of our Navis have fifty-three Battle Points each,” Tory announced, “We’ll each wager thirty.”

“And that means I’ll wager all ninety of my Battle Points,” Rei replied, “Very well. This will be an easy match, anyway.”

“IceMan, AquaMan, and BubbleMan!” Tory and Shuko said simultaneously, “Battle routine, set!”

“Execute!” the three Aqua Navis shouted in unison.

BATTLE START

“Neon Light!” FlashMan held out his hand and three bulbs shot along the floor towards the aqua trio.

“I’ll handle this, blub-blub!” BubbleMan volunteered, “Bubble Parade!” The bulb on top of his head opened up and three bubbles popped out. They floated towards the Neon Lights and collided with them. The resulting explosions popped the bubbles and released the fish missiles inside them, which instantly fired their jets and flew towards FlashMan. They exploded around him on contact.

“AquaMan! IceMan! Attack now!” BubbleMan commanded.

“Ice Cube!”

“Aqua Bomb!”

IceMan formed a block of ice in front of him and pushed it towards FlashMan. It slid across the floor and smashed into its target and shattered, the shards from which cut into the electric Navi. AquaMan then formed a ball of water in his hand and he threw it at FlashMan. It came at him hard and fast and exploded in a shower of bubbles when it hit.

“Not bad,” FlashMan commented, “for a bunch of Aqua Navis. But you’re not match for an Elec Navi like me.”

“We beat MagnetMan nine years ago, blub-blub!” BubbleMan argued.

“Don’t make me laugh. That was a long time ago. Things have changed since then. Neon Light!” More bulbs shot across the floor from FlashMan. BubbleMan tried his Bubble Parade again, but his counter proved useless when the attack moved between the bubbles and continued forward, striking the friends at once.

“Don’t give up, IceMan!” Tory urged, “You can beat this guy!”

“You too, AquaMan,” Shuko said quietly.

“Aqua Spout!” A large faucet appeared in front of AquaMan and a massive rush of water burst out from it towards FlashMan.

“ElecAura Battlechip in, download!” Rei slotted in a chip and watched as an electric aura surrounded his Navi and protected him from the water.

“I have an idea, AquaMan,” IceMan announced, “Use Aqua Spout again.”

“Okay. Aqua Spout!” Once again, AquaMan summoned his faucet and unleashed its watery load.

“Didn’t your last attack prove that it doesn’t work?” FlashMan smirked.

“Blizzard!” IceMan opened his mouth and blew a freezing wind blew over the front of the water jet, freezing it into a large spearhead. With FlashMan busy gloating, he failed to notice the attack until it was too late. The ice struck him hard just as he was trying to get away, broke through his ElecAura, and pierced his side.

“Now it’s my turn, blub-blub!” BubbleMan pulled out his harpoon gun, “Harpoon Shoot!” He pulled the trigger and fired several harpoons that struck themselves into FlashMan’s body until he resembled a pincushion.

“I hate it when weaklings fight back,” the electric Navi growled, “Neon Light!” He unleashed several bulbs across the floor, but Tory, Shuko, and BubbleMan were ready.

“BubbleSpread Battlechip in, download!” A ball appeared in AquaMan’s hand and he threw it forward. It struck the floor just in front of the Neon Lights and it exploded in a shower of suds.

“Bubble Parade!” Bubbles popped out of BubbleMan’s head and joined the ones that AquaMan’s attack had created.

“IceWave3 Battlechip in, download!” Tory slotted in his chip and a snowflake appeared in front of IceMan and moved across the field towards the suds, freezing them on contact and creating a large wall of ice that had a strong resemblance to bubble wrap. The Neon Lights struck the barrier and the resulting vibrations caused some of the frozen bubbles to break and release fish missiles that hit FlashMan.

We grossly underestimated these Navis, thought Rei, We must amplify our power immediately! Reaching into his pocket, the twisted monk pulled out a Crest of Arcadia chip and slotted it into his PET. Immediately, a column of white light surrounded FlashMan and the Crest of Arcadia appeared in the center of his forehead.

“The power is mine!” the Elec-element Navi shouted, “Spark Arm!” He slammed his hand against the floor and three sparks, each connected to his palm by a trail of electricity, shot out towards the Aqua-element Navis and sent countless volts coursing through their bodies.

“IceMan!”

“AquaMan!”

“Hey, what about me, blub-blub?” BubbleMan whined as he lay on the floor smoking alongside his companions.

“Flash Light!” A pair of light bulbs appeared on either side of the trio and they sent out powerful sparks that shocked them all. Rei laughed at his Navi’s opponent’s as they fell to FlashMan’s new power.

“He’s too powerful now,” IceMan gasped.

“Too powerful,” AquaMan moaned.

“You can’t give up,” Tory egged his Navi, “If you do, you’ll be deleted.”

“He’s right,” Shuko added.

“FlashMan, end it now!” Rei ordered. However, his words went unheeded as FlashMan held out his hand towards the screen and it suddenly went blank with static.

“FlashMan, what’s going on?” demanded Rei, “Answer me, FlashMan.”

“It’s no use,” Tory informed the monk, “FlashMan’s fallen to the Crest of Arcadia’s power. He’s lost all control of himself.”

“Tory…” The chestnut-haired teen turned back to his PET and saw his Navi getting back to his feet along with AquaMan and BubbleMan.

“We’ll stop him,” IceMan said between breaths, “no matter what.”

“We’ll do it together, blub-blub,” BubbleMan added.

“Together!” AquaMan chimed.

“You’re finished!” FlashMan screamed, “Spark Arm!”

“Fountain Battlechip in, download!” Tory slotted in his chip and Shuko followed suit with a Fountain of her own.

“Fountain Battlechip!” BubbleMan activated the chip data he had stored and together with IceMan and AquaMan, they unleashed three powerful tsunamis. The waves rushed towards FlashMan and hit him with unparalleled force. They exploded around him and surrounded his body with a massive pillar of water.

“FreezeBomb Battlechip in, download!” A ball appeared in IceMan’s hand and he threw it at FlashMan. It exploded upon coming in contact with the water and froze it instantly, trapping the electric Navi in an icy prison.

“We did it!” the aqua trio cheered. They grabbed each other’s hands and danced around in a circle. Above their heads, Rei’s counter dropped to zero and the scores of IceMan, BubbleMan, and AquaMan shot up to eighty-three each.

“We won.” Tory walked over to Rei, “Now each of us gets one of your rarest chips.” In the end, Rei gave each of his opponents a FlashManV5.

“Come on, you three. It’s time to go,” Shuko said into her PET.

“Okay!” IceMan, AquaMan, and BubbleMan replied simultaneously. Suddenly, a bright flash of light shone out from the ice pillar and it shattered. FlashMan stepped out from among the shards and glared daggers at the trio. He roared as his bulbs began to shine bright white and he raised his hands over his head, each of which was holding a blazing white energy ball.

“SHINING PLASMA CRUSHER!!!”

“Everyone, log out now!” Tory commanded. He and Shuko quickly logged out the three Aqua Navis and watched as a massive burst of white energy erupted from FlashMan’s body and blinded everybody. When their eyesight finally returned, FlashMan was nowhere to be seen.

“So FlashMan got taken by the Crest, too,” IceMan observed.

“Or he was deleted, blub-blub,” BubbleMan suggested as he stood beside the Yoda-sized Eskimo inside Tory’s PET, “Shining Plasma Crusher is FlashMan’s suicide attack, blub-blub.”

“Let’s leave,” suggested Shuko, “I don’t want to stay here any longer.”

“I agree. After that ordeal, this place won’t feel the same for a while,” Tory agreed. After putting his PET back in its case, he followed Shuko back to the MetroStation.

---------------------------------------
End of chapter 4-44.

CHAPTER PREVIEW
Lan: Greg’s always hungry for power.
MegaMan: And Phantom can kill anything in perfect silence.
Lan: That ninja Navi has more tricks up his sleeve than he lets on.
MegaMan: I pray for anyone who has to face his hidden arts.
Lan & MegaMan: Next time on Rockman.EXE: The College Years, “Secret Arts of Phantom”.
Lan: Phantom’s a Stealth element, so he’s a tricky one to fight.
MegaMan: Whoever should face him should be super careful.
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Vanilla_Go_Rilla · Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:27 pm Post subject:

Ooh, an interesting chapter. I have yet to play EXE 4 (still gladly pounding away at EXE 3), so I don't really know what are, quote, "most hated," end quote, aspects of the tournament in this game that has been mentioned on previous reviews. Overall, the battle scene here was a rather compelling one. Psycho Rei and Flashman certainly made for an interesting duel against the little adorable midgets Iceman and Aquaman. The tournament also seems to be progressing rather well; much of the action seems very consistent in that the heroes always come out triumphant in a variety of ways using a variety of techniques. I'd also be interested in seeing how the finals will transpire.
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SonicNigma212 · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:39 am Post subject: Well, it's good.

It's good that you were able to update your fic. Now, as for the chapter, it's good that you were able to focus on getting AquaMan, BubbleMan, and IceMan together in this fic. It's also good that you were able to introduce FlashMan in this chapter even though it is short. The battle was okay as well as the references. Well, in any case, I hope that you have a very good Christmas and a Happy New Year. Later!

Maurice A. Nigma :grr:

kram_elbog · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:57 am Post subject:

Excellent chapter so that means that if my math is correct Shuko, Tory and Bubbleman are all now at 83 points. Seems like it is getting closer and closer to the Finals. And of course this chapter couldn't of been bad at all I mean it had the lovable Aqua Trio in it who doesn't love those three navis?
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Dark Liger · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 7:03 am Post subject:

AMZ, you're doing much better now. The battle wasn't too bland and it didn't look like it was just thrown together. Good. But remember, take your time when you write your chapters.

EDIT: Sorry 'bout the typo. :/

SSHiei · Joined: 01 Aug 2005 Posts: 29 Location: Texas

Also, just a suggestion, but having the heroes always win gets bland. I liked the beginning of season 3 in that the characters seemed more... human, I guess. It was more realistic, and made for a good twist...then again, that might drag this on far too long... Oh well, your story, your choices!
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