CHAPTER 3-SPHEAL!!

feepitsrule · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:37 pm Post subject: CHAPTER 3-SPHEAL!!

OC/AA/Semi Hu/PG

-SPOILER WARNING-(at least that's what Plantman says)

This is my fanfic. I just started it, so Im not sure what its about. The main character is Sakura, a sixth grader that is a wannabe hacker. Because of this, she has to move all around electopia, while her dad works for NAXA. I havent come up with her last name. Oh yeah, her netnavi is Piranha. This is really short, I know.

Chapter 1: Welcome to ACDC Town

"Click!" went the keyboard as Sakura continued typing on the keyboard. She had been editing some data she "borrowed" from the SciLab mainframe. "Yes! I'm done!" she exclaimed, having to control herself to keep from jumping with joy. Sakura had been working all night on her netnavi, Piranha. You have to have one to be a hacker, she thought.
---~1 year later~----
"Hurry up, Sakura!" Sakura's mother shouted up the stairs. "You don't want to be late for the first day of sixth grade!" As Sakura rushed down, her mom quietly said "Please don't get into any trouble. It's hard to keep moving around." Sakura said nothing but instead gripped her dark-blue PET tightly.

"Here it is, ACDC elementary! Isn't this a great day! You get to go to a new school and make new friends!" I wish it was that easy, Sakura thought. As she moved closer, sh saw the vicinity called ACDC Elementary looming over them like a miasma.

Sakura rushed to her seat before Ms.Mari was able to start her speech. "Hello, students! Today we have a new student, Sakura Noname! Interesting, she seems to have lived in many places... Welcome to ACDC, Sakura. I hope you find ACDC a great place to live, especially our school. "

As soon as school ended, everyone rushed over to Sakura. In a town like ACDC, a new person was big news. Lan Hikari was the first to ask "Do you have a net navi?".

Sakura proudly showed them her PET and said "THis is Piranha, my netnavi".

"Hey, Megaman, doesn't her netnavi look sorta like you?" This statement was true. The patterns on Piranha's jumpsuit and helmet were quite similar to that of MEgaman's.

"Hey, arent you Yuuchiro Hikari's son?" Sakura asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah! See, he built me my netnavi! He's very smart, seeing as he works for Scilab. "

Is his navi's data the one I stole and used for Piranha's base data??
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DjangoSP · Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:48 pm Post subject:

This shows a lot of promise! You're right, it was short, but you had one heck of a cliffhanger! Well done, feepitsrule! :D
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feepitsrule · Posted: Fri Nov 18, 2005 9:34 pm Post subject:

OH NO I WAS WRITING CHAPTER 1.5 AND THEN IT DELETED ITSELF. Nooooooooooooooooo. I'll have to write that all over again. -_-; ironic. when I have time to write, it deletes itself.
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feepitsrule · Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:35 pm Post subject:

I retyped this chapter. It doesn't have much plot developent, but it does intoroduce one of Sakura's best friends. It's 1.5 because it's kinda short.

Chapter 1.5: Julie

Sakura stared at the PET screen, which read “1 new E-mail”. Sakura wondered, “Who can it be from?” Sakura was not really social. She thought, “What’s the point of making friends if I’ll just have to move away and never see them again?”. The E-mail was from Julie. “Who’s Julie?” she thought for a brief moment, before remembering she was a girl in her sixth grade class. The email read:
Hi! It’s Julie! Remember me from 6-A? I think it would be a good idea if I show you around ACDC. It can help you get to know the town better. Reply if you are interested. Bye!

“That’s a great idea!” Sakura said. Even though she didn’t want to make friends, she should learn more about her new home. She replied quickly, “Come to my house at 2:00.”

After walking around ACDC for a while, Julie and Sakura stopped at Higsby’s, the local chip shop. “What is this?” Sakura asked. “It’s a chip store, where you can buy chips and stuff for your net navi. By the way, what is your net navi’s name?”

“My net navi is Piranha. What is your net navi?”

“My navi is Angel. Let’s go in the store now.” Julie said.

The small shop was filled with goods, from chips to PET cases and many other various items. One item that caught Sakura’s eye was an odd purple colored sword chip. “Should I buy this?” Sakura asked Julie. Julie read the label “999 damage… If it’s that strong, it’s definitely worth it.” Sakura asked Higsby how much the chip cost. “It’s 4000 zenny, huh.” Sakura paid for all her purchases and left the shop.

Walking home, the pair ran into Lan. “I want to tell you something.”

“What?” Sakura inquired impatiently.

“Wanna netbattle?” Lan asked expectantly.

“Sure, meet me tomorrow at the park,” Sakura said. “Boy, I sure am making a lot of friends!” Sakura thought to herself

COMING SOON: CHAPTER 2: MEGAMAN DS UNLEASHED!!
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cruddpuppet [reo sux] · Guest

I think you should label spoilers man. Awsome fan fic dude! Make them a wee bit bigggggger. the dark chip should do 400 man, not 999! Its a dark sword for feep's sake!

feepitsrule · Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 6:04 pm Post subject:

I'm not a guy. LOOK AT MY PET!
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DjangoSP · Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject:

cruddpuppet [reo sux] · Guest

yeah man, relax. More fanficcy

feepitsrule · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 2:00 pm Post subject:

feepitsrule · Posted: Sun Dec 04, 2005 7:50 pm Post subject:

Chapter 2: Megaman DS Unleashed

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Piranha asked. “You know I don’t like to netbattle.”

“Of course it is,” Sakura insisted stubbornly, stomping her foot with impatience. “Lan and Megaman are both dolts, and they’re definitely gonna lose.” And with a flourish, she picked up her bag and left the house.

“Now where did he tell me to meet him?” Sakura thought out loud.

“ACDC Park. Remember, the place with the silly squirrel statue?”

“How could I forget,” Sakura said sarcastically.

“We’re here! Look, there's Lan! Looks like he’s ready to battle,” Piranha stated, with slight disdain.

(Before the battle there is some idle nervous chatter I am too lazy to type, with a few insults scattered here and there)

“Get ready, Piranha! Time to battle! Let’s go!” Sakura practically yelled with excitement. “Jack In, Piranha.EXE, Execute!”(note: I felt this should be capitalized)

“Megaman, get ready! Jack In, Megaman.EXE, Execute!” A beam of laser shot out of the PETs and the battle officially begun.

Although Piranha despised hurting another navi, she had forgotten all about the excitement of netbattling. She loved that rush of adrenaline. (note: I don’t know what the heck adrenaline really is. XD) She was ready for a battle. She was psyched. (Boy, you don’t hear that much anymore.)

Sakura slotted in a few chips. “You know what to do, Piranha.”

“Aquasword! Download! ” Suddenly a blue sword appeared on her arm. She charged towards the unaware navi.

Megaman suddenly jumped and shouted “Elecsword!” He slashed at Piranha’s arm. An electric jolt moved up her arm, dealing a lot of damage. (Although the chip usually isn’t very strong, Piranha was an aqua type, and it did even more damage.)

Panting, Piranha said “Sakura, load the…sword chip…fast.”

“Fine, but I don’t know what it can do yet.”

“Just load it, will you!” Piranha said impatiently. After Sakura obediently loaded the chip, it was instantly obvious there was something wrong with the chip.

First, Piranha’s eyes were glowing purple. Then some sort of dark aura encapsulated Piranha. When the aura faded away, some other navi was where Piranha was standing. This navi was completely identical to Megaman, besides the fact it was purple.

“Megaman!” Lan shouted. “Didn’t we capture your Darksoul?”

“Yeah… but I remember Dad telling us something about my Darksoul escaping… Hey, Sakura must’ve done something like steal DS and use it as her navi or something! That would make sense.”

But Sakura had no time to respond, as DS had just started his onslaught. First, he repeatedly shot Megaman with his buster. Then he took his darksword and started slashing at Megaman blindly. Unfortunately, Lan had run out of chips.

Sakura quickly whipped three certain chips out: Sword, Widesword, and Longsword. “Hurry, slot them in!” she shouted.

“Thanks! Sword, Widesword, Longsword! Program advance, Lifesword!” Lan shouted. “There’s time for interrogations later,” Lan thought.

Megaman pulled the large sword to his front and slashed Megaman DS. At this moment, the dark chrysalis appeared again. When it opened, it revealed a tired Piranha, who fell to the ground immediately.

Before anyone had time to ask questions, Sakura rushed home. “That was close,” Sakura said, once she was home. She had realized the magnitude of what she had done. “That was Megaman’s darksoul? What have I done?” Sakura asked to herself.
-----------------------------------
Sorry for taking a looooooooong time to update. I hope this wasn;t too short,
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Elementalman.EXE · Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 10:59 pm Post subject:

Bah Look at me. People constanly think I'm a girl, But pink's a manly color.

And It looks promising if you made the chapters longer

Viewtiful Starman · Puzzle Game Addict Age: 37 Joined: 14 Mar 2005 Posts: 708

I'm liking this fic so far... the dialogue is fairly good compared to some other stuff that follows similar patterns to this one, and I like your character.

Elementalman pretty much summed up my idea of the flaws, but I have one small thing I'd like to comment on.

The thing with the Dark Soul. I don't expect you to change it or anything, but just for some future advice, it seemed kind of stupid to me to just say "Oh, but the dark soul escaped!" treating it sort of like an afterthought...
For something that seems like an important plot point like that, I think it should've been given more mystery or elaboration.

**Plantman** · Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 1:26 am Post subject:

Please make sure you follow these guidelines:

Post your fic's title. A big bad 'Read it will ya' might not work the best to attract actual readers all the time. A title, rating and 'summary' of the characters involved is highly recomended.

Secondly PLEASE mark spoilers in your topic. I'll keep this open to let you change it, if you post another chapter and do not change the topic to follow the recomendations -spoiler warnings- I'm afraid I'll have to lock it.

Now, it's not necesary to yell at people, point out that you are a girl. Sometimes people use 'man' as an expression, so please, point to people you'd like it if they'd refer to you as a 'she'.
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feepitsrule · Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 7:15 pm Post subject:

I dont have chapter 3 here, but here is a little surprise! (and Plantman, hes my brother, for the love of feepits!)

A peek into my Pokemon/ Megaman Crossover!

“Now, Blastoise! Ice beam!” Daniel shouted fiercely. His Pokemon presented the final blow. Spheal was knocked out.

----------------------------------------------------------

Spheal opened her eyes. “Where am I?” She stood up. “Wait, why are my legs so long? I wasn’t able to stand up before…” She walked around and scanned her surroundings. The area was quite unlike what she was used to. Instead of dirt and grass on the ground, there were blocks of some odd bluish material on the ground. Floating in the air were more blue translucent items. Spheal looked at herself. She saw a human girl, covered in a skintight light blue suit, with dark blue armor. “Sarah, where are you? Where am I? Why am I a human instead of a Pokemon?” She shouted these burning questions, not expecting an answer.

“Hi, Spheal! You’re in my PET, silly! And Pokemon haven’t existed for over 100 years, didn’t you know?”

Spheal just stared at the large screen in front of her.

“Helloo! Daddy said that you’re my new navi, but for a navi, you’re really stupid.”

“Hey! Treat me with some respect, will you!” Spheal shouted, still evaluating her surroundings.

“Yay, my navi can talk! Now I can show off to Sakura!” Sarah shouted with glee.

“Wait, who said I’ll be your na-vi?” Spheal said, putting a odd accent on the word navi, as it was still very new to her.

“DADDY SAID SO!!” Sarah shouted exasperatedly.

“And who is this ‘Daddy’?”

“The renowned Dr. Yuki, of course,” Sarah said knowingly. “Daddy worked on the computer to give me this cool birthday present! (which is you of course, she muttered)”

“Why should I listen to ‘Daddy’ ?” Spheal asked

“Because he brought you back to life!” Sarah said.

“And that means…?”

“Let Daddy explain..”

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**Izumi** · Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 9:48 pm Post subject:

feepitsrule · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:02 pm Post subject:

To Isumi: Most people dont know Pete(or any of his minions), but thast doesn't keep them from saying "For the love of Pete", or "For Pete's sake", does it? All they have to do is know that it's a proper noun. Even ESL people know that anything that doesn;t sound like a word is a name or proper noun.

This chapter is a chapter with the same events as my other fic, the Pokemon/Megaman Crossover.

Chapter 3: Spheal.EXE
"Come with me, big sister!" Sarah dragged Sakura by her hand into ACDC Park. By then, Sakura was quite tired. She had just finished reprogramming Piranha and recapturing Megaman DS.

"What NOW?" Sakura asked.

"Look what Daddy gave me!" Sarah shouted enthusiastically.

"Oh goody!" Sakura stated sarcastically. Great, another doll. She thought.

Surprisingly, Sarah pulled out a PET. "DAddy gave me a navi, Spheal! Not only is it one heck of a cute navi, look at this!"

Sarah muttered to her navi, and a bright spot of light appeared. Sarah, who was previously so sure of hereself looked sllightly amazed... and scared.

What was previously a spot of light turned into a sphere.

"Spheal!" It exclaimed.

Sakura thought it was quite cute, but Sarah was actually frightened. You could almost hear her whimpering.

(this part is mainly dialogue, so I;ll just save time by C&P'ing it, and maybe slightly tweaking it)
At this moment, a group of passerby decide to reveal themselves.

“What is th-th-that thing?” Netto asked, shakily pointing his finger at the blue sphere on the ground and shuddering.

“It’s-it’s-it’s so cute!” Meiru and Yaito nearly screamed in unison.

“I-I-I was just kidding. Right, Meiru?” Netto said, after hearing the girls’ response.

“Yeah, whatever you say, Netto.” Meiru responded, rolling her eyes and laughing.

“Who are you, anyway?” Chisao asked.

“Why do YOU care, little brother?” Dekao questioned.

“Well, I think I saw that girl in my class...”

“For you information, I am the great Sarah Yuki, little sister of Sakura Yuki, and daughter of...”

“If you’re so great, why don’t I know you?” Chisao asked, interrupting Sarah’s rather tedious bragfest.

“Well, I’m not really famous. And to answer Netto’s question, I’m not really sure myself.”

“Why don’t we find out what that is?” Maylu said, pointing at Spheal.

“Actually, we have a vague idea what that thing is. It’s my little sister’s navi, Spheal. But something seems wrong with her... Hey, Sarah, why don’t we go see Daddy for some answers?” Sakura asked.

“But isn’t he in Scilab?” Sarah asked.

“That’s easy; my dad works there too.” Netto said.

“Actually, he works at NAXA.” Sarah said.

“Whatever,” Netto said.

--At Scilab--

“So, what you’re saying, Daddy, is that this is Spheal’s original form?” Sakura responded. (and Sarah had to say it along with her)

“And that Spheal is really a fossil of a Pokeman that has been turned to data?” Yaito asked.

“Pokemon.” Everyone said.

“Yeah, that's what I meant,” Yaito said.

“Wow, almost like Saito.” Netto said.

“Actually, Megaman was kind of like my model.”

“Spheal!” Spheal shouted with glee and a slight hint of randomness.

“Now that we have the answer, let’s go home.” Netto said, getting looks from Sakura and Sarah that clearly said “Since when were you our boss?”

“That sounds good! I wanna go to big bwudder!” Chisao said. (Dekao didn’t want to go along with the rest of the gang.)

At this moment, Spheal turned into a ball of light and disappeared back into his steel-blue PET.
--End Chapter 2--
I edited this chapter, using the comments everyone gave me.
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**Izumi** · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:20 pm Post subject:

feepitsrule · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:27 pm Post subject:

You seem to be ignoring the rest of my post as well. ¿Usted entiende? I would elaborate further but seeing as you enjoy flashing that title under your name, I will refrain.
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**Izumi** · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 11:33 pm Post subject:

**Mari** · Posted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject:

You said "you understand", not "do you understand?". Owned.

Keep the attitude up and you may as well consider the topic locked. Mock chitchat isn't needed on a fanfic thread, you know; those "I'm not a guy, feepit!" interludes weren't needed at all.
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