Snakebite

[Dreamvirus]

Hey guys I just wrote a new fic! You should really check it out but read the top in case you hate spoilers!
Heres the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2491880/1/
Click the review button at the bottem to send me a review then come back and tell me what you think!
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The fight against evil is pointless. In the end, we all know that evil shall prevail. I exist only to pull you into the shadows. Come with me and embrace the darkness!

[Neko]

Okay... I've said it once, I've said it a million times, It is an english grammer *rule* two people can not talk in the same paragraph. When a new person speaks, make a new paragraph.

Okay, now that that's over with, Not badly written as far as dialogue and description but before you make an OC as someones *twin* or brother think about the canon storyline. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite because of Maki but think twice or three times before creating an OC directly related to a major charachter.

The plot is okay, try and steer away from the "evil persona" trap and make the character your own. Give him personality quirks that make him different.

I'll keep my eye on this, keep on writing, you seem to have a good grasp on how to write dialoge and descriptions well.
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Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.

Avatar, credit Yakitate@devart

[Dreamvirus]

I noticed that although I got a decent amount of peeks with the veiws, I got 1 reveiw! Come on people! Take 3-5 minutes off your scheduales to write something! But just so you know Chapter 2 is up and I want you to let me know what you think either on fanfiction.net or here. PLZ! :puku: :puku: Oh and Neko I've tried to correct my grammar errors. Let me know if anything bothers you as far grammar or spelling.
_________________
The fight against evil is pointless. In the end, we all know that evil shall prevail. I exist only to pull you into the shadows. Come with me and embrace the darkness!