Megaman Short Dumb Moments (WARNING PG-13/BORDERING R)

DSX · Last edited by DSX on Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:58 am; edited 1 time in total

Genre: Humor Mod Edit: Cut down the smiles, please.
Rated: PG-13, nearly bordering R for harsh sexual content and crude language. Nothing too explicit.
WARNING:This fic may make you laugh, cry, laugh/cry, laugh and wet your pants, cry and wet your pants, laugh/cry and wet your pants, outrage you if you're a jerk, nosebleed if you're a fangirl or nothing at all if you're a Maverick.

Moment 1: Fire Men (NT Warrior)

"Oh my goodness, Netto, ACDC Town is on fire!!", said Dekao.

"Let's get to work, Dekao!"

"Right behind you!!!"

The two boys unzipped their pants and killed the flames at Meiru's house. Then went to Higsby's chip shop and killed the flames there. Soon they realized they were out of ammo.

"Oh no, Dekao, we're out of ammo!!!" screamed Netto.

"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! We need lemonade!" said Dekao.

Then he pulled a pitcher of lemonade while the Popeye theme song played. They drank it all. Then the fire-extinguishing "liquid substance" spewed out from the two boys pants and saved the now piss-smelling ACDC Town.

"Thank you ever so much for all, but now you have to clean that horrible odor", said the town mayor.

"Dammit!!!" said Dekao and Netto.

Moment 2: X meets Ryu from Breath of Fire (MMX)

"Hi, my name is Megaman X! What's yours?", asked X is a friendly manner.

“I’M COOLER THAN YOU’LL EVER BE!” screamed Ryu.

Then he ran away. X’s eyes started to water. He walked up to Zero.

“He’s not cooler than me. Right?” he asked.

“Well… he can transform into a dragon.” said Zero.

X began to cry uncontrollably. “WHY CAN’T I DO THAT? WHY!” he sobbed.

Moment 3: Quiet Mouse (Megaman.EXE)

“Let’s play quiet mouse!” said Roll.

So every one started playing. Everyone was very quiet, but Megaman was starting to strain. Roll was starting to walk over to him. It was becoming unbearable. Then--

“I’M A GOOFY GOOBER, YEAH! YOU’RE A GOOFY GOOBER, YEAH!” He immediately shut his mouth as everyone stared at him like this: O.o

“You’re out, Mega!” said Roll.

Moment 4: Do what now? (MMX: Command Mission)

“X, you’re going to infiltrate the Grave Ruins Base alone and battle fifty-five thousand and two Preon S Epsilons with two popsicle sticks in order to deactivate the electrical guard system. Then, you must shimmy down the fire pole like you’re in a gay bar and fight Epsilon after he’s has his steroids and spinach with little Supra-Force Metal bits in it. After that, you must army crawl you’re way out from under the triple barbed wire that can cut reploid tissue like hot butter. Then when you get out, bake me chocolate-chip brownies within twenty seconds and sing the national anthem in Pig Latin. Got that, X?” asked Redips.

X walked over to a dark corner, crawled over to his teddy bear, hugged it, and sucked his thumb in a fetal position.
_________________
Overconfidence is the greatest enemy.-Yoshimitsu, Soul Calibur 2.

-Sig made by Crystal.EXE-
Get Clicked! Know what DSX means (no, it's not DarkSoulX)!

Besides me is ZERO!!! Sorry girls and guys, but I tainted him with elote bread to be my pal and I don't share, nor Zero, nor my elote bread!!!

X the Ultimate · Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 15 Location: My Kingdom

These are so awesome DSX very funny!
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Hearts are power, Nothingness...is...enternal

DSX · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 8:49 am Post subject:

Thanks, X the Ultimate. Don't worry, later I'll post another 4 moments.

One of the moments will have two special guests! Who they are? Here's a hint: They have theirwn TV show on MTV.

Also, one moment for the fangirls.
_________________
Overconfidence is the greatest enemy.-Yoshimitsu, Soul Calibur 2.

-Sig made by Crystal.EXE-
Get Clicked! Know what DSX means (no, it's not DarkSoulX)!

Besides me is ZERO!!! Sorry girls and guys, but I tainted him with elote bread to be my pal and I don't share, nor Zero, nor my elote bread!!!

DSX · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 11:14 am Post subject:

Moment 1: That’s Hikari for ya! (NT Warrior)

Enzan woke up with a migraine and saw that there was a letter on his face. He opened it and read its contents.

“Dear Enzan,

Last night at the New Year’s party, you were really drunk from all that wine. So I had a great and sexy idea! I took you up to your room, laid you on the bed, and raped you like crazy. It was oh so very nice. So I’m just writing this here letter so that when you wake up and wonder what happened last night, you’ll know that I took your virginity for the 999999999999999999th time this month.

Scar ya later!

Signed,

Netto Hikari Pimpin’mier”

Enzan just bugged his eyes out at the letter like on Robot Chicken.

Moment 9: Busted (MMX8)

Lumine was looking at himself in the mirror. “Look at me. I am soooooo hot. With my blue hair and sea foam green eyes.” he said to himself.

Then he started ding a strutty dance and singing a strutty song. “I’m too sexy for my hair. Too sexy for my eyes. Too sexy for my butt. Too sexy for my p--”

“Lumine!” exclaimed Axl.

“Dammit, Axl! Make like a hockey stick and get the puck outta here!” screamed Lumine.

Moment 3: Brother! (NT Warrior)

“Manny, you’re saying you can bring back my brother from the dead with alchemy?” asked Lan.

“Of course! It’s worked for me! Just look how happy my bro is!” Edward pointed to a misshapen chimaera.

“Kiiill me…” it moaned.

Laan’s eyes twitched. “Uh gee. I dunno about this, Manny.”

“Too late! You already signed the contract!”

“No I didn’t.”

Manfred took a hold of Lan’s arm, put a pen in it, and made him squiggle his name on the dotted line.

“You did now.”

“WOW! I guess I was wrong then! Okay! Fire away!”

Manny clapped his hands together really hard so the slapping sound scared Rush away. Then he pressed them against the floor where the crap to make a human body was.

SHWWWWWWWWWSSSSHHHHHHWWWWWWW!

“Alright! It’s working!” Manny screamed over the sound of wind rushing and paper rustling as a supernatural golden light flooded the room.

Then the wondrous light of hope turned to a hostile amethyst. Manny’s eyes widened with fear.

Lan’s eyes widened with stupid curiosity of anticipation. Manny screamed bloody murder as the center of the hostile light pulled him in and engulfed him, taking his soul.

Then, the light disappeared and the center was replaced by.... *insert drumrolls here* Saito Hikari.

“Brother!” cried Lan.

Moment 4: Two new recruits

“Okay, guys. It seems that we need more help in our goal to defeat Nebula Grey. So I got two new guys to help us!” said Megaman.

Everyone looked at the new guys and gasped.

There standing was…

Bevis and Butthead.

“Um… I got a question.” said Bevis. He looked over at Roll. “That girl has no boobs.”

Roll gasped and blushed furiously. ProtoMan chuckled a little.

“You need to apologize to my dear Roll guts!” said GutsMan.

“Uh. She’s just mad because uh… you’re gay.”

“He he he. Gay.” laughed Butthead.

GutsMan’ eyes flamed.

“Uh. What does this button do?” asked Bevis as he pointed to a detonator with a big red button.

“That is a detonator.” said Medi. “And you shouldn’t press that butt--” But she was cut off by a huge explosion that killed them all.

“He he. She said butt.”

“That’s like ass.”

“He he he/ Huh huh huh.” they laughed.
_________________
Overconfidence is the greatest enemy.-Yoshimitsu, Soul Calibur 2.

-Sig made by Crystal.EXE-
Get Clicked! Know what DSX means (no, it's not DarkSoulX)!

Besides me is ZERO!!! Sorry girls and guys, but I tainted him with elote bread to be my pal and I don't share, nor Zero, nor my elote bread!!!

Unknown Neo · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:42 pm Post subject:

Some of them are funny but some just aren't to me. And you did get that last one of robot chicken.

DSX · Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:31 pm Post subject:

OK, Unknown Neo, I know that my humor has ocassional flaws. At least you did something else than saying "that was awesome DSX".

Here's another 3 dumb moments.

Moment 1: WHO POOP LAST? (MMX)

“YOU WANT MILLION SENNIES?” screamed Zero.

“Uh… sure.” said Douglas. Zero grabbed Douglas by the arm and pulled towards a table of food.

“FIRST, YOU EAT YUMMY FOOD!” Zero then directed Douglas’s attention towards the toilets. “THEN YOU GO POOP IN TOILETS! WE FIND WHO POOP LAST! TONIGHT ON: WHO POOP LAST?”

Douglas wet himself from the excitement.

Zero gasped. “YOU NOT SUPPOSE TO PEE TROUSERS! THAT DISQUALIFACTION!” Zero then shoved Douglas down the toilet and flushed it over and over until Douglas drowned to death.

“YOU TEREVISION PEOPLE TUNE NEXT TIME ON: WHO POOP LAST?”

Moment 2: When Ponies attack! (MM Legends)

Roll walked up to a pretty crème-colored colt. “You’re a pretty pony girl!” said Roll as she brushed the colt’s main gently.

The colt got immediately angry. Because clearly, he was a boy. Because his nut sack was huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

So the colt leaped a from the pen and stopped Roll to death.

Moment 3: The Light Family Hobby

A quaint little house with a white picket fence, brick driveway, and an ample backyard under a dusky winter sky.

Inside...

Blues, Rock and Roll are gathered around a crackling fireplace with a supply of chestnuts, marshmallows, and hot chocolate. They’re all dressed in their pajamas.

Blues sits crosslegged on a borrowed sofa cushion.

Roll leans lovingly against Blues’ shoulder.

Rock is sprawled out on a denim beanbag chair, chugging his hot chocolate. He nearly chokes on a marshmallow.

There is a short silence save for Rock’s coughing fit.

Then...

The game begins.

Roll starts. “I hate Wily,” she says quietly.

“I hate Wily even more,” Rock says.

“I hate Wily more than the two of you combined,” Blues says.

“I hate Wily with a fiery, burning passion,” Roll says.

Rock pretends to gag. “I hate Wily with all my heart, soul, and genitals.”

“Rock, keep it clean,” Roll scolds.

“What! But the last time, Blues—”

“Never mind your brother. He still has some issues to work out.”

Blues ignores this and takes his turn. “I hate Wily with a hellish, infernal hatred that could send teh Great Lord of Evil crying to his mother.”

“Ooh, points for the satanic reference,” Roll remarks.

“Roooooooll!”

“I was just kidding, Rockie.” Roll smiles. “I hate Wily like I love the both of you. That is to say...a lot.”

“Mmm...very antithetical,” Blues says, impressed. “Your English degree is serving you well.”

“I hate Wily like I hate when robot cooling liquid cakes under my nails after a kill,” Blues says.

“I hate Wily like I hate my menstrual cramps,” Roll says.

“I hate Wily like I hate Auto’s cooking,” Rock says.

“I hate Wily like the winter needs the spring,” Bluess says.

Rock blinks. “...that doesn’t make any sense.”

Blues shrugs.

“I hate Wily like I hate living my life right now because I’ve lived 15 hellish years being nothing more than "Rock's little brother" , without giving me credit or important appareance other than Rock has to fight me. And, what it makes it worse, is that those goddamned fangirls always put my and Rock's EXE counterpart together in those frikkin' goddamned yaoi fics and fanarts!!!!"

Rock and Roll stare at Blues for a few seconds.

Blues slumps back onto the floor, nearly blue in the face. THUMP!

“Blues wins,” Roll announces solemnly.

“No fair!” Rock whines. “He was holding back!”

Blues cackles triumphantly before falling asleep.
_________________
Overconfidence is the greatest enemy.-Yoshimitsu, Soul Calibur 2.

-Sig made by Crystal.EXE-
Get Clicked! Know what DSX means (no, it's not DarkSoulX)!

Besides me is ZERO!!! Sorry girls and guys, but I tainted him with elote bread to be my pal and I don't share, nor Zero, nor my elote bread!!!

Unknown Neo · Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 3:46 pm Post subject:

Ok no prob and for these, first it's zennies with a z and the last one was funny. The other two weren't all that funny.

DSX · Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:15 pm Post subject:

About the first one, it was upposed to be "sennies", because Zero was uber-idiotized and forgot the "Correct-Grammar Chip" (XD)

I think the fic will be in a looooooooong hiatus, because I'm going to revive old concepts.
_________________
Overconfidence is the greatest enemy.-Yoshimitsu, Soul Calibur 2.

-Sig made by Crystal.EXE-
Get Clicked! Know what DSX means (no, it's not DarkSoulX)!

Besides me is ZERO!!! Sorry girls and guys, but I tainted him with elote bread to be my pal and I don't share, nor Zero, nor my elote bread!!!

ChibiForte · Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:52 pm Post subject:

Holy crap, these are hilarious! You got a couple of these from Robot Chicken, didn't you? Laughing

I didn't know Roll could have a menstrual cycle...elcgh. -_-; Overall fricken hilarious and if I was a judge I'd give this fic a 22 out of 10, the higher the score, the better! :]
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Sig made by me. <3