Starman's Colonel Commercial:MENTOS!

[CrossFusionStarman]

Just a small thing I wrote. I wanted to do at least a comedy fic. Please criticize honestly!

Genre:HU (Humor) Chapters:01
Author:CrossFusionStarman


Starman's Colonel Commercial:MENTOS!

***
Chapter01:Mentos

"Places everybody! We've only got a day to prepare for this being televised, and my ass is on the line!" Starman shouted.

Everybody was getting the props set up for the commercial. Starman was the director, as well as the person who came up with the whole concept. He looked up at everything over his clipboard. Everything seemed to be going smoothly.

"Starman, everyone's ready!" Rockman said.

"Good! Get everyone on the set!" Starman said.

"And get Colonel to at least look somewhat enthusiastic."

Colonel walked onto the set, and muttered something that sounded like "Why on Earth am I doing this?"

"Smile, Colonel! Nobody will be convinced if you aren't happy!" Starman shouted through his megaphone.

Colonel tried to manage a smile. However, being pissed and smiling is hard to accomplish, so what appeared on Colonel's face was a look of angst.

"Ugh...whatever. We've got a deadline." Starman said.

"Lights!" Starman said.

Brightman exstinguished all of his lights, as well as the lights above the stage.

"Camera!" Starman shouted. Blues pointed the camera towards the set.

"ACTION!!!"

Colonel tried his best to pretend to fight Gravityman, who was dressed up in a crappily made Nebula Grey costume. However, he accidentally sliced into Gravityman, depleting a large amount of the huge navi's health, as well as somehow setting him on fire.

"HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS!!!" Starman shouted.

He pulled out a new voicemail message.

After addresing it to the desired navi, he shouted into it:

"Meddy! Get to the set quickly! Gravityman's been injured, and he's on fire! Yes, I do mean literally! This is not a drill! I repeat, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!"

He sent it. Starman turned to Quickman.

"Go get Needleman! Tell him the Nebula Grey costume is messed up, and needs to be sewn back together."

Quickman nodded and dashed off.

"5 minute break everybody!" Starman shouted.

As Colonel passed by him, he said "Colonel, try not to actually fight him! Just a few faint attacks or false swipes. Don't hack into him and set him on fire, okay?"

Colonel sighed.

"Sure. As long as I never have to do this again." He said.

"Just one more after this and you're done, Colonel." Starman said.

Colonel said "Thank God." And walked off to his dressing room.

***

2 minutes later, Gravityman was in his dressing room, getting his wounds treated by Meddy.

"Does it really look that bad?" He asked about the burn mark across his chest.

"No, it's fine." Meddy said, healing it as she spoke.

"There. You're all done. How's the costume coming, Needleman?" She asked.

Needleman said "It's finished! And now it's fireproof!"

He laid out the costume. The fully-healed Gravityman put it on.

"How do I look?" He asked.

"You look like you were programmed to wear that costume!" Meddy said with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Geez, Meddy. Don't any more cheerful. You'll give us all diabetes." Needleman said.

"Bite me, Pinhead." Meddy said, still smiling.

***

Colonel was ironing his cape in his dressing room.

"Damn wrinkles!" He said.

***

3 minutes later, everyone was ready to try again.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Starman said.

The commercial filiming started again. This time Colonel managed a fake slash without setting anyone ablaze with fires that burned like hell. Gravityman knocked Colonel down with what looked like a punch, but was actually Gravityman putting his fist on Colonel and increasing his gravity to knock him down.

It was at this point, Gravityman would laugh maniacally, but all he could manage was a monotone "Ha, ha, ha, ha."

Colonel got on his knees and said "Dammit! How will I defeat Nebula Grey?" In that voice everyone uses when they're acting or hinting at something.

Starman put his hand against his face.

"Geez, Colonel, God forbid you actually try to do good." He said.

At that moment, the Mentos theme song played loudly. A packet of Mentos was lowered onto the stage from a string, held by Rockman. Colonel grabbed the packet of Mentos and opened it, popping one into his mouth.

He did a very bad act of him getting stronger, and hit Gravityman as Nebula Grey with a fake Screen Divide.

"Gasp." Gravityman said, and a shower of sparks generated from Thunderman made it look like he was supposed to be deleted.

Colonel stood up and faced the camera.

He thrust out the Mentos pack and said "Mentos, The Freshmaker!"

Slur walked on stage and said: "Buy Mentos! They increase strength, like Steroids, but without the side effects. They ease child birth! And they'll make you like this lucky navi!"

She pointed to Colonel.

"And, cut!" Starman said.

Thunderman stopped with the sparks.

Colonel said "Oh @#$%. I cannot believe I just did that."

Starman clapped.

"Beautiful, everyone! Beautiful!"

***

The next day the commercial aired, and everyone watched it. Everyone in the Hikari household said it was good to make Starman and his group feel good about it, but over in Shaaro, things were more honest.

"What the hell was that crap?!?" Searchman and Laika said at the same exact time after the commercial.

EL FIN.
_________________
EXEHQ. Click now, I demand it.

NT Champions. Click!

SERAS VICTORIA OWNS MY SOUL

[Midnight]

Wow.

That was insane, and rather dumb. Next thing you know you'll spoof this spoof by turning it into a Geico commerical. There were scattered spelling errors here and there, and I found that the fic was a tad too short and underdetailed.

Otherwise, an amusing read.
_________________
Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Darth Osiris]

I thought it was pretty funny. Especially Laika and Searchman's reactions at the end.

[CrossFusionStarman]

[kram_elbog]

Very interesting for a joke fic, well at least I hope it was ment as a joke fic and not to be taken seriously.

Midnight Critic:
A geico commercial would be cool. But I think that Anime characters would make better Ask Jeeve shorts than actual commercials. I mean a series of those Ask Jeeves commercials using Rockman characters would be awsome.

[Darth Osiris]

Oooh! I had an idea! Do a spoof of a Meow Mix commercial!

[ChibiForte]

Yes, very hilarious. I'm sure without Rockman throwing various insults at you I can say that this fic is funny, even though this'll be my second time reading it.

PS:

[Wackoman.EXE]

VEry amusing. THe diabetes and pinhead part were particularly funny. Anyway I can justy picture Gravityman in a Nebula Grey suit. Maybe I'll draw that...
_________________

Transcendent Super Spiral Dreadnought Gunmen

[ComicX6]

[Unknown Neo]

Ha Ha Ha very funny fic. I'll wait to see any others you'll do.