OT: Dragon Warrior 4 (G? or PG?) (spoilers inside)

[Kain.EXE]

I got this idea when I started a challenge quest for Dragon Warrior 4. I only used the Hero, Ragnar and Cristo. Their sprites all have them holding swords in their hands.

Should I rate it G or PG? There's no excessive swearing (there might be mild at most) and mild/medium violence, but no nudity or anything like that.

I haven't come up with a good title yet...I'm thinking "Legend of the Swordboys" but I got the name Swordboys elsewhere. For now I'll just call this "Dragon Warrior 4". Since you can name the hero anything, I'll just refer to him as Marsh; don't wanna use "the Hero" over and over again. I got the name Marsh from Justbreed (another NES game by Enix) and thought it was cool.

The story might not make much sense if you haven't played DW4. The hero's powers to destroy any evil are still dormant and the monsters want to destroy him before he gets too strong. However, I changed things so he only meets Ragnar and Cristo. He meets the others, but they play very minor roles (such as Nara).

Ready? (sorry about the excessive "....." I couldn't make indents.

Chapter 1

.....Somewhere in a secluded village, just north of the castle of Endor, resided Marsh the Hero, who was 17 years old. He grew up being trained by everyone in order to prevent the Ruler of Evil from awakening. However, his training would come to a premature end.
.....A panicking villager came running around the village. "Monsters have found this village, they'll be here any minute!"
.....Another villager, realizing Marsh wasn't prepared to fight yet, could only say "Quick, we have to hide Marsh!" He escorted Marsh to a cellar. On the way, his best friend Celia couldn't say anything except for him to hurry.
.....Marsh's father came up to him and made a confession "I hate to tell you...but we're not your real parents. I wish I could tell you more."
.....In the deepest section of the cellar, the villager Marsh was following explained "You're the Hero of Legend. You have the potential to defeat any evil being, but you're still weak! Survive, escape, and find allies!" The villager left and went upstairs.
.....Within seconds, Marsh could hear the unmistakable sounds of fighting. The people who were protecting him were dying quickly. Celia came in.
.....All she could say was "Marsh, I enjoyed growing up with you...but don't worry. I won't let them take your life away!" She cast a spell of Transform and turned into an exact clone of Marsh.
.....Their last words to each other was "Goodbye..." As Celia left, all Marsh could do was listen in horror as the monsters killed his friend off.
.....A wimpy, yet sinister voice said "I've defeated Marsh the Hero!" And a deep, even more wicked voice said "Good, let's return to base."
.....Marsh waited for a few minutes. Silence. When he felt it was safe to come out, he saw everyone was dead, and the town in ruins. His heart was stricken in grief, pain, loneliness, and anger, but he knows now to begin his adventure.
.....After tireless hours of adventuring, Marsh arrived at Endor. He heard scared people talking about the death of the Hero.
.....To help cope with his pain of the loss of Celia, Marsh decided to casually hang around Endor. He met a fortuneteller named Nara, and quite naturally he asked her to tell his fortune.
....."I see - two men. One is a soldier and one is a priest. Both will aid you on your quest to defeat the Ruler of Evil...wait a minute, you're Marsh the Hero!? I thought you were...?" When everyone heard this, they all were relieved, knowing there's still hope to stop the resurrection of the Ruler of Evil.
....."Dead?" Marsh said. "No...but my family...my friends...my home...gone."

To be continued...

I KNOW it's not anime (it's a game fanfic), but the DW characters are drawn by Akira Toriyama, and I think I should try to revive the DW trend. Besides, there's some people on GameFAQs who really love DW4, and hopefully they read this stuff. One of them also writes fanfics and if he wants can he write a fanfic of a Cristo/Nara duo quest challenge he's been doing?
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War may not be the right answer, but when you're in one, ending it effectively and with positive results is a must. Vote John McCain for U.S. President.
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[Kain.EXE]

*EDIT* This will now be discontinued. I guess nobody here loves Dragon Warrior. Admin/Mod, delete this topic if possible.

*2ND EDIT* What? I pressed Edit and a double post came up. Now you should really delete this thing.
_________________
War may not be the right answer, but when you're in one, ending it effectively and with positive results is a must. Vote John McCain for U.S. President.
https://www.johnmccain.com/Contribute/ContributeA.aspx?sid=google&CMP=KNC-RU9055186769

[Mari]

Erm, just because a day has passed and no one has reviewed your fic isn't enough warranty to just delete it like that... just my opinion.
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Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome.

[Mari]

Erm, just because a day has passed and no one has reviewed your fic isn't enough warranty to just delete it like that... just my opinion.
_________________

Currently fangirling Edgy Eft and mplayer1.0RC1 -- firefox 2 is just okay, those are pure awesome.

[Viewtiful Starman]

Yeah, just wait a bit and someone'll probably eventually review it.

Anyways, I haven't played that much of Dragon Warrior 4 specifically... but is this supposed to be a retelling of the plot?
Reminds me quite a bit of some other Dragon Warrior plots, and seems kinda cliche so far.

The writing's not bad though, although you might want to watch the ellipses next time, there's a bit too many there IMO.

[Kain.EXE]