Mystic Xen --- Cyberpunk Reality

[NetOperator Wibby]

ookay now! here's a fanfic i only recently started writing. oh, before i begin, "Xen" is pronounced "Zen" and the rest is easy -.- . anyhoo, the first half of the title came from an idea for a movie script i had started about a year ago but abandoned b/c of life T_T . here's to hoping i can fuse that idea with this new one successfully...

GENRES!
[R][Hu][D][AA][M] or...
Romance (some), Humor (lots!), Drama (o'course), Action & Adventure (don't leave home w/o it!), and Mystery (keeps ya coming back!)

SYMBOLS!
[SF][OF][OC] or...
SciFi - talking about PETs and technology falls under that right?
Original Fiction - covered that in the intro!
Original Characters - based upon myself and cool people i know. however...i think im going to include some MMBN characters also. if or when i do, i'll update the symbols.

POV!
3PP or... Third Person Perspective!

TUH RATING!
[PG-13] for the teens!

and without further ado, i give you...CHAPTER ONE!...enjoy! ^_^

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[= = M y s t i c X e n - - - C y b e r P u n k R e a l i t y . . . C h . 1 G e t t i n g A C u s t o m N e t N a v i = =]

Location: SciLabs, Xiahliu Branch - Netopia

The room was dark, lit only by the dim glow of a hologram monitor. A lone scientist was typing furiously, as if he would never get done. The time was close to 4:00 in the morning, too early for even the cleaning crew to get started for the day.

"Okay...just a couple more lines," he said. "Alright...there! Finished!"

The scientist saved his work to a mini-disk and moved to another room. A light automatically flickered on.

"Dammit, I thought I disabled that...bugger." the scientist muttered.

In the brief flash of light, you could see that his face was worn and haggard, and plastered with nervous sweat. He seemed to be in his mid-50s and had graying hair at his temples. The mix of brown and gray made him look distinguished but his normally steel-gray eyes were bloodshot red.

"Where to put it, where to put it? I have to hide it, save it until its safe."

There were a stack of files and folders that caught the scientist's eye.

"Ah, here we go!" the scientist exclaimed excitedly. He put the disk inside of a folder with a SciLabs logo on it and stuffed the disk under a desk nobody used anymore. After all, this was the old storage closet.

Satisfied, the scientist finally allowed himself to relax in a comfortable office chair, if only a little.

"Now all I have to do is wait until the time is right. Only until then will my work be complete." He looked outside the window and watched the already rising sun wake the city with its warm rays. Rubbing his eyes and stretching, he donned his glasses and started to prepare for what was sure to be a busy work day.

< ~ ( ' - ' ) ~ >

Location: NetOperator Wibby's Residence - East Xiahliu, Netopia

Warm sunlight filtered through the window, setting on a young man's face. He looked to be in his mid-teens, about 16. A light brown complexion
and deep brown eyes made him somewhat a hit with the ladies but of course he was always too dense to notice it. He was only wearing shorts,
surrounded by empty boxes of pocky. At the moment, he was sleeping on the couch in his living room. The television was left on from the night
before.

"The sun is shining beautifully, the birds are chirping, the sky is blissfully clear, and the weather rather moderate. You may find a brief
breeze when you're out and about today, keeping the temperature in the low 60s. It's going to be a wonderful day! This is John Crimson, signing
off. You stay classy Xiahliu!"

THUD!

"Ow...ooh, that's gonna leave a mark." said Wibby groggily. With a big yawn, he got up off the floor and walked towards the bathroom.

"Now what do I have planned for today?" he thought to himself. It wasn't until he started brushing his teeth that he realized, "I'M GETTING A
CUSTOM NETNAVI TODAY!" Now feeling annoyed at himself for spitting toothpaste all over his bathroom mirror, he quickly finished brushing his
teeth and got dressed almost faster.

"Yes yes yes, a custom NetNavi for meeeee. Designed by thee, NetOp Wibbyyyyy!" Singing, he ran out of the house and almost crashed into one
of his best friends, NetAgent Blizzad. Blizzad was stocky but muscular, and liked to laugh a lot. A bit of a womanizer, he was far more confident
with women than he should be and he always had a story about a new "chicky".

"Yo Wibby, I was just about to wake you up! Aren't you getting a customized NetNavi today?" he asked.

"Doi! Of course I'm getting it today, ya big baka!" Wibby said with a grin.

Blizzad looked furious. "I told you to stop calling me that! I'm trying to get into better shape, man!"

Wibby sweatdropped. "Okay, okay, take it easy! Let's get going." And with that, they started walking towards Central Xiahliu, where SciLabs was.

There were already a lot of people outside watering their lawns or going to work. Wibby and Blizzad walked by a couple of grade school children
having a mini-NetBattle tournament.

"Okay, I'll give you my ZapRing2 if you can beat me!" said one.

"Wha? You're on! Battle Routine, set!" said another.

The two young NetBattlers were being cheered on by their friends while the other competitors pondered which strategies to use.

"Hey Wibby, that brings back some good memories, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, you're right. If I wasn't in such a big rush, I would stay and watch."

Astonished, Blizzad said, "You're in a rush? Without your skates?"

"Well hey," Wibby shrugged. "Sometimes you gotta kick back and take a look at your surroundings before they disappear on ya."

"Is that a quote from Dr.McClorey?"

"Mmm...maybe. Look! We're almost there! C'mon, I'll race you!" Wibby sped off towards the SciLabs building. Instead, Blizzad just kept walking
his usual pace and as he smiled he said, "You've been waiting a long time for this Wibby. Now you can start your search..."

< ~ ( ' - ' ) ~ >

Location: SciLabs, Xiahliu Branch - Netopia

Truly, this place was a technological marvel. Birthplace of the new Link PETs, center of scientific education, and an area for inventors and idealists alike, the SciLabs building was constantly busy. If it wasn't maintenance crews performing routine checkups on the hologram displays or troubleshooting the NetOp/NetNavi Training Room, then it was scientists bustling about going to a conference, presentation, project room, or lunch. Today was extra busy as there were deadlines for various things approaching. Wibby was already running towards the NetNavi Development Lab when a still smiling Blizzad strolled through the door. By the time Blizzad caught up to Wibby, he was already in animated conversation with Dr.McClorey.

"...and Guincool Mind ha-"

"Yes yes, Guincool Mind has all the specifications you requested. Don't worry Wibby! Every single detail is there." said Dr.McClorey.

"Are you sure? Because I can tel-"

"WIBBY!" Exasperated, Dr.McClorey shook him. "I've known you for almost your whole life! I know how much of a stickler you are for details so I oversaw this particular NetNavi construction. For the last time, do...not...worry. Guincool Mind should be nearing the completion stages soon."

"Tsk tsk. You're always so damn impatient Wibby," said Blizzad. "By the way, how do you pronounce your NetNavi's name again?"

"Wha? You still don't know? How hard can it possibly be?" muttered Wibby. "It's pronounced 'Gwen' as in 'penguin' and the rest is self-explanatory."

"AH! Blizzad, how are you?" asked Dr.McClorey.

"Pretty good, I've no complaints."

"Well that's always good to hear!"

<*DING-DONG...Dr.McClorey, you are needed in the NetNavi Development Lab*>

Dr.McClorey jumped. "These new surround sound loudspeakers they just installed are giving me the creeps," He shook himself. "Let's go Wibby."

"Wha? Really?" Wibby exclaimed. He couldn't believe his ears. No one except scientists was ever allowed into any of the labs. This is why the doors still accepted passcards, rather than having pressure sensors on the floors, retina scans, or voice recognition for that matter.

Inside the actual NetNavi Development Lab were a lot more people than expected. 3D modeling and programming were taking place in the first
room they passed through. Minor tweaks like shading and color optimization were being made to Guincool Mind's exterior. In the adjoining room, Guincool Mind's A.I. was being tested for consistency and long-term stability. Wibby just stared with his mouth open, amazed. Blizzad took notes.

Wibby had visualized his NetNavi's design, but this was the first time that he saw Guincool Mind rendered in 3D. Guincool Mind didn't have a
helmet like most other NetNavis. Instead, he had spiky and unruly hair and his icon was on both ears like big headphones. His physique was slim
but slighty built. His bodysuit was a nice cerulean and navy blue fusion, with a yellow stripe running from under both of his arms to a little below
the waist. However, Guincool Mind's boots and chest armor were blue camouflage. His gloves were also blue camouflage and left his fingers exposed. His icon was also on the top of both of his gloves, in the middle of his chest armor, and on the outside of his boots.

CLICKCLICKCLICK...WHIRR

The lights went out for a couple of seconds and then switched over to backup power.

"What the hell?" said a programmer. A couple of them got up and looked around. "Oh no," whispered Dr.McClorey. "They're coming for it."

"What'd you say doc?" asked Blizzad. Wibby was still staring at the monitors, oblivious to anything that just happened. Dr.McClorey gathered
himself.

"Alright now. Everyone is to carry on with what they were doing while I figure out what happened." And with that, he left Wibby and Blizzad in the lab while he rushed to the old one he was in the night before. He tried not to run in an attempt to try to minimize attention to himself.

"Good morning Dr.McClorey!" said an unusually cheerful intern.

"Hi...bye!" Dr.McClorey left the intern in such a hurry, she was confused as to what just happened. Or so he thought. Just as he turned the corner,
the intern made a call on her PET. "Yeah...it's just as we thought. The old man fell for it...yes...I understand...retrieve the disk at all costs...objective clear."

< ~ ( ' - ' ) ~ >

Just before he got to the old lab, he did a quick look around to make sure nobody was watching. When he was satisfied, he quickly slid into the room
and closed the door completely before heading to the old storage closet. After rummaging around for a few seconds, he found the mini-disk.

"Hmm...if I'm not mistaken, that lovely spy of an intern is working for them," he muttered wryly. "That means she'll be waiting for me when I leave this room." After thinking about it a short while and weighing the pros and cons, he made up his mind. Dr.McClorey sat down at a computer and inserted the mini-disk. He looked at the screen a moment before getting to work. "Let's hope I'm making the right choice here...good luck everyone."

< ~ ( ' - ' ) ~ >

Back at the NetNavi Development Lab, Wibby was looking over the shoulder of the head A.I. programmer. Blizzad was walking around the lab bored.

"I wonder what's keeping Dr.McClorey," he said. "Ooh, what's this?" he asked, as he touched it. He soon found out what it was and didn't like it one bit. "Umm...we have a bit of a situation people." All of the programmers turned. One by one the programmers' faces were all turning colors.

"THAT'S OUR EXPERIMENTAL MINI-VIRUS MATERIALIZATION TOY! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT!" one screamed.

"o_0...you're making virus...TOYS?" Blizzad asked bewildered.

"YES!"

"Well, isn't that kind of dange-"

"THAT'S WHY WE'RE STILL TESTING THEM!"

While the programmers were giving Blizzad the evil eye, Wibby was still looking at the A.I. code and for some reason trying to make sense of it. An
icon followed by a long and fast flowing line of code flittered across the screen and looked like it was merging with the A.I. code. He kept seeing the word "WindTome".

"What the heck is this?" Wibby said. The lead A.I. programmer turned around and moved Wibby away from the computer just as the last of the new code was finished integrating.

"I hope you didn't do anything to this code Wibby," he said sternly.

"No, not at all! I was just um, looking at the code and I don't understand what it means, that's it!"

The programmer softened. "Oh...okay, I'll just finish this then." A couple more clicks and he was done. "Alright, Guincool Mind is officially finished! If you would just plug your PET over here..."

"Uh, aren't LinkPETs supposed to be wireless?"

"Yes, but this will be the first time that Guincool Mind will have been in your PET. Therefore, he has to get familiar with your PET's IP address and any wireless configurations you might have."

"Hmm, makes sense."

Once the NetNavi transfer was complete, the transmission cord was extracted from Wibby's PET, which was then given back to him.

"You'll have to micro-reboot your PET, Wibby."

"Oh!" Wibby did so and in a couple seconds, the PET had recognized Guincool Mind's data signature. Guincool Mind opened his eyes and spoke. But his voice was strangely robotic sounding.

"HA-LOW, NET-OP-ER-A-TOR WIBB-Y. I AM YOUR NET NA-VI, GUIN-COOL MIND. ARE YOU HAV-ING A GOOD DAY?"

Wibby twitched and sweatdropped. The lead programmer looked just as confused. Guincool Mind looked from Wibby to the programmer and back to Wibby again. Then he tilted his head to the right and said, "Mama?"

"Whaaaaat the hell is wrong with him?" Wibby yelled. "He's creeping me out!" The lead programmer looked flabbergasted. Even the normally talkative Blizzad was quiet. "How many jokes can I make about this?" he muttered to himself.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, you should've seen your faces! Whoo, THAT made my day! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Wibby shook his PET. "Guincool Mind?!! Are you freaking serious?!!"

The programmer shrugged. "Well, you did say you wanted him to have a good sense of humor..."

"Yes...yes I did." Wibby sighed.

Blizzad finally spoke. "You finally got something that's just as, if not more, weirder than you are Wibby."

< ~ ( ' - ' ) ~ >

dundundun duuuuun! and with that, i'll shall take my leave...
~peace!~ critique please!
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab

[rhythm.exe]

rhythm: ooongg... wow. weird and funny at the same time. cool. nice fanfic or whatever its called. I'm kinda new. so i wouldn't know.
_________________
Forte rules! Go Forte! Come on people-*hit with an Earthbreaker attack*

[NetOperator Wibby]

hey thanks! as long as somebody likes it!
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab

[Midnight]

Umm...

I'm not too sure I like this fic so far. The first thing is that I see a self-insertion, and close to every fic that I have ever read so far that has had such an insertion has gone the way of the trilobite. I'd safely say that this will be no different.

For your prose itself, it actually wasn't that bad. It went along at a fine pace, and you did pay some attention to detail. I feel that perhaps you needed to pay a little more attention to detail to ensure that the reader can create a vivid picture.

The concept itself is rather on the boring side. It boils down to a character (namely you) receiving a navi for a first time. This is a rather hackneyed motif, and it isn't particularly impressive.

My final gripe is with this line.

[NetOperator Wibby]

i know this is kind of late and im reviving an old thread, but it's mine! thanks for the critique Midnight! im gonna work more on this fic. the second chapter should be up soon ...
_________________
Avatar by Tabby (of my NetNavi, GuincoolMind.EXE) : : :
HP / Twitter / hikari OS / SciLab