The Dangers of One Way Streets: Hu,G: PG

Neko

“Ah, that wasn’t so bad,” Netto said as they came out of the Namaste conference building.

“It definitely could have been worse,” Enzan agreed as they walked to the car.

Laika pulled out the keys and Netto eyed them fiendishly, “Can I…” he started.

“No,” Enzan and Laika both said at the same time.

“Oh, come on, pleeaaasseee?” he asked, drawing out the word annoyingly.

“Netto, we need to get home,” Enzan said coolly, “Not get lost.”

“I know exactly how to get out of here, come on. I wanna drive,” Netto said in a pouty voice. “Please?” he asked again.

Laika looked at the keys then at Netto, then at the keys again. He sighed and tossed them to Netto who caught them happily. “All right, but be careful, this city isn’t exactly easy to navigate,” he warned.

“YES!” Netto cheered as he walked around to the diver’s side.

“Laika-san?” Searchman asked.

“If it gets him to shut up…” Laika said quietly.

“Ah,” Searchman said.

Enzan sighed and got into the back while Laika took the front passengers seat. Netto grinned and put the key into the ignition and expertly backed out of the parking space they were in. “Okay, so, we just need to get to highway 295, right?” Netto asked.

“Yeup,” Rockman said.

“So, navigation on,” Netto looked at his PET where a small screen of the city’s road ways came on. “There it is,” Netto said while looking at the map and quickly calculating where to go.

“You know where you’re going?” Laika asked.

“Yeup,” Netto said cheerfully as he turned onto the street and drove down several blocks. “Okay here we turn left…” he murmured.

“No,” Rockman said.

“No, what do you mean no?” Netto asked.

Rockman pointed up, “Read the sign, Netto-kun.”

Netto looked up and read, “One way,” out loud. “All right,” he said and turned right to find another route.

Laika and Enzan both sighed but it wasn’t loud enough for Netto to hear them.

“So we take a right on this road to get back to…” Netto started while checking the map.

“Umm…” Rockman interrupted.

“What?” Netto asked.

“One way,” Laika muttered. “Netto are you sure you know where you’re going?” he asked.

“I’m fine!” Netto snapped as he turned down that road. “All I need to do is get to the highway and I know where it is.”

“All right,” Laika said as he leaned back into his seat.

“So can I turn left up here or is this a one way to?” Netto asked no one in particular. He came up to the street and saw that it was indeed a two way. He gave a sigh of relief and turned left to cruise down it several blocks and make another right.

“This place looks familiar,” Blues said after awhile.

Enzan sat up and looked out the window where the conference building loomed into sight. “Damnit Netto, we went in a circle!” he snapped.

“What?” Netto screeched. “Stupid one way streets,” he hissed.

“Try making a right at the street before the one you turned on before,” Rockman suggested.

Netto drove up to it and glanced at the sign. “Guess what…” he said.

“One way?” Everyone asked.

“I hate this city,” Netto muttered as he turned right.

“Try left,” Enzan suggested.

Netto turned left and they passed a small convenience store on a one way street. Several minutes later they passed the same store on a different route. “What the hell?” Netto yelled out.

“You’re lost,” Laika said while giving Netto a side long glance.

“I am not lost!” Netto snapped.

“Yes you are,” Enzan retorted. “We’re going in circles Netto.”

“Maybe we should ask for directions?” Rockman suggested timidly.

“No,” Netto, Enzan and Laika all said to him at the same time.

Rockman laughed nervously and pulled back into his PET. “No, cause that would be the easy thing to do,” he muttered.

“Since when do Enzan-san, Laika-san and Netto-san do the easy thing?” Searchman asked his friend.

Rockman rubbed the back of his head, “We’re never getting out of here, are we?”

“Not for a few more hours at least,” Blues muttered.

Oblivious to their navi’s conversation the three continued to bicker as Netto slowly managed to work them more and more deeply into the city.

“They all one way!” Netto said while hitting the steering wheel.

“Whoever designed the layout of this city should have his head checked,” Enzan muttered.

“I concur,” Laika agreed.

Netto growled something neither Enzan nor Laika could hear as he turned onto the main road. “I’m going to go along this road till I run into something,” he muttered.

“Please, you don’t mean that literally?” Rockman asked.

Netto growled but didn’t answer.

Everyone else in the car immediately sat up and started to pay a little more attention to their surroundings before Netto lost his temper.

“Okay, we’re coming up on an intersection that should take you two the highway if you turn left,” he said while looking at the map.

“Guess what nii-san?” Netto asked.

“It’s one way isn’t it,” Rockman replied dully.

“You get a cookie,” Netto grumbled sarcastically.

“Netto-kun, if you would just ask for directions…” Rockman said.

“I will not ask for directions,” Netto hissed at his navi.

A half an hour later Netto pulled up to two girls walking down the street. “Um… do you by any chance know how to get to 295?” he asked while trying not to blush.

The girls giggled and one of them nodded, “Yeah, take a left at the light ahead, a right at Broad and another right at Stern, the ramp is right over the hill,” she said.

“Thank you,” Netto said with a vaguely strained smile and he pulled away.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Rockman asked him.

“Yes, it was,” Netto growled while gripping the steering wheel.

“Well, you at least got hours to put towards getting your license,” Laika said.

“I’m never driving in Namaste again,” Netto said as he took a right at Broad.

“I’m not driving,” Enzan muttered.

Laika sighed, “This wasn’t my fault you know. You wanted to drive.”

“And you would have done any better?” Netto asked.

“Probably not,” Searchman answered in his operator’s sudden silence.

Netto looked rather sour as he took another right at Stern. He pulled over the hill and the highway loomed ahead, “Oh thank god,” Rockman said quietly.

“Never driving here again,” Netto said again.

“Agreed,” Rockman muttered as he began to sense his twin’s irritation.

“Make Laika do it,” Enzan said in the back.

“All right!” Netto said happily.

“That’s not fair,” Laika said while looking at them.

Netto grinned, finally beginning to regain his old good mood back. “Well now that we’re out of one way street hell, I have control of the radio,” he sing songed.

“Netto…” Enzan and Laika both said warningly.

Netto grinned happily and turned on the radio to the local J-pop station.

Enzan and Laika both groaned simultaneously, it was going to be a very long 8 hour drive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A fairly accurate portrayal of my drive out of Baltimore on the way back from Otakon. Evil goddamn one way streets :E
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kuro-kitsune · Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 11:13 pm Post subject:

i suffer through the same thing when my dad drives through downtown. and by god he has a temper..

which is why my mum and i choose to take a bus most times. ^_^ ne? but why do enzan and netto gang up on laika all the time?? Confused

as funny as it is, i still don't know why...

~kuro-kitsune~

Neko · Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 11:20 pm Post subject:

Because that's how my brain works...

I make this up. Enzan and Laika haven't even *talked* to one another in the anime yet. Everything you see me write about them is non cannon >.>

So I picture Netto the one extreme, Laika the other and Enzan in the middle but closer to Laika in sense of personality. But Netto can get Enzan to lighten up easier then Laika so Enzan has a tendency to go with Netto sometimes.

Ugh... so tired... sorry if that didn't make any sense.
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Nazne · Shukei - Hakuteiken Joined: 20 Mar 2005 Posts: 1133

Neko, you are scary. <_< I have to think out entire plotlines and how characters would act in certain circumstances...you write out realistic oneshots in HALF AN HOUR.

One-way streets are evil /o/

-BMA

kuro-kitsune · Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2005 11:30 pm Post subject:

OMG NEKO-SEMPAI DON'T STRESS OUT!! that's my job. Razz

thanks for the explainat- waitaminute.... they've talked in the manga (i wish i could figure out what they were arguing about).

^___^ i think your version is much cuter anyway. kawaii ja~n!

um... 'scuse me while i go and attempt to finish your gift pic and various fanarts........ okay? okay..

~kuro-kitsune~

Kitty-Chan · Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 10:40 am Post subject:

This is why I refuse to get my license, much to my parents chagrin. Laughing

Great ficcy, Neko-sempai.
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Midnight · Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 11:07 am Post subject:

Heh. A maze of one-way streets, you say? Try navigating them in a city like NYC. <_< Part of the reason I am in no rush to learn.

Anyway...it's remarkable how you can turn out these kinds of fics day after day without fail. Another great job.
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DarkMega · Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:47 pm Post subject:

The downtown section of my city is just like "one-way street hell" too! XD. I avoid going down there at all costs because I know I'll get lost and probably starve to death or something before I get home again. Oh, and all that darn construction....Anyway, funny fic, Neko. Reminds me of driving school, oddly.
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ComicX6 · Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 2:47 pm Post subject:

Up here in Boston, it's not smart to drive anywhere downtown. Slow traffic, lotsa T buses, one-ways, and it doesn't take very long to walk from place to place. It's good exercise.
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Reina · Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2005 7:28 pm Post subject:

Those streets are the worst especially when there's traffic. I'm never the driver, but it's so annoying to wait so long especially when there are stupid, idiotic drivers who can't seem to tell left from right. <<;
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cruddpuppet [reo sux] · Guest

Your story is funny. So many evil oneway streers!!

ComicX6 · Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 2:10 pm Post subject:

So you've experianced Boston driving first hand, Reina? Yeah, there are many drivers who shouldn't be allowed to drive. Cripes, I sound like my dad now.

'' Look both ways before crossing, especially if its one-way.'' - The Sidekick

I thought this fic was funny Neko. One-way street hell sums it up perfectly.
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- Balmung, .hack vol. 1

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Kitty-Chan · Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:13 pm Post subject:

I had an idea; create narrations of fanfics. This is my first one & I thought some of you would appreciate it. Please go here if you wish to sample this fanfic narrated: http://savefile.com/files/5852764
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
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Neko · Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 4:06 pm Post subject:

That's... really really sweet but warn before you revive a fic that is 5 months old. Also, before you do this for another author, ask permission XD

Still... wow, this is new. I've never heard this before, you're pretty good at reading things out XD
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Kitty-Chan · Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:31 pm Post subject:

Thanks. I just wanted to surprise you.
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*

**Plantman** · Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 11:06 pm Post subject:

In fact, it is perfectly allowed to revive topics that are several months old IF you have something important to contribute to it.

In this case, I think Kitty chan has not incurred in any fault. She had something important to contribute to this particular fic.
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Kitty-Chan · Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:39 am Post subject:

Thanks. I'm working on doing this for a couple of Neko's fics if that's okay; it's good practice for getting the right inflections in the voices. I'm autistic so I have problems with stuff like that; I can't count how many people I've unintentionally offended. -_-;
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Need more Zero/X, Netto/Rock, Rock/Netto, Forte/Netto, & Blues/Netto. PLEASE!
Ano sa...could someone please make me a Zero/X, Blues/Netto, or Forte/Netto avatar/banner? I would greatly appreciate it...
Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*