Barrel and the Sword (One shot of doom?) PG

[Sketch]

Barrel had arrived at Endo City to meet with someone; he walked into a Restaurant and sat down. "Hello, how may I help you?" Barrel looked to the woman and smiled.

"A glass of water and a plate of Curry, please." Barrel withdrew his PET and placed it on the table, the screen popped up.

"Okay, I'll be right with you. She smiled and walked away.

"Are you sure this is wise, Barrel-Taisa?" Colonel asked his operator. "We don't even know if this man can be trusted, and you want to hire him?" The Waitress walked back with a large glass of water and a plate of Curry a few minutes later.

“Thank you miss.” Barrel said with a smile and she walked away. Barrel picked up the glass and took a large gulp. "Yes Colonel," he put the glass down, "we need him, it's for the good of the team, and for the good of the Net." Colonel looked at Barrel with a 'I hope you know what you're doing' expression on his face.

"Why would he want to meet in this shop on the outskirts of Endo?" Colonel said.

"He said he wanted to meet in a secure location...but this is in public, how secure is this?" Barrel took another large drink of water and a few spoonfuls of Curry. As he ate, a man clad in purple sat down. His hair created a shadow over his face, but a scar over his right eye was clearly visible. "Ah, Miyabi-san, thank you for coming, would you like something to eat?" Barrel raised his arm to get the attention of the waitress but Miyabi grabbed his arm.

"I am not here for food; I am here to discuss business." Miyabi withdrew his PET from his sleeve and activated the Touch Screen. A Navi, also clad in purple, appeared. "Any business is discussed with Shadowman present. Now tell me, what do you require of my services? Someone taken out or a Navi deleted?” Barrel picked up his PET and made a large map appear.

"As you may or may not know, the net has been taken over by the Dark Chip Syndicate Nebula. The areas in purple are under their control. I am organizing a team of navis to defeat Nebula. I would like to hire you to help us." Barrel said, eating another spoonful of Curry.

"Just how many navis do you have for this team?" Shadowman said starring at Barrel.

"Well, myself and my Navi, Colonel, Princess Pride and her navi, Knightman, you might remember them from your exploits with the Net Mafia Gospel, and Netto Hikari and his navi, Rockma-" Shadowman erupted in a blaze of fury.

"That bastard Rockman! He's the cause of my previous deletion! I refuse to help him, or you!" Shadowman turned his back to the screen. Barrel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Look, I know you have traveled over rough water with him, but we need your help, and I will pay you whatever you want." Barrel said.

"Not even for 50,000,000 Zenny!" Shadowman shouted. With another sigh, Barrel began to get up.

"Wait," Miyabi said, "As a mercenary, it is not my choice to turn down a job even if I don't like the person I will work with. As long as I get my payment once the deed is done, I am at your service." Barrel looked at Miyabi and smiled. Colonel appeared back on the screen with an "O_o" expression on his face.

"Thank you Miyabi-san, for your first task, I want you to go meet Netto in the Akihara Park..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The idea came to me yesterday about Barrel meeting Miyabi to hire him to assist with the Team stuff...I hope no one is out of character...I don't really write fics all that much, but I hope I did good with this one. \o/
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[Sketch]

Barrel had arrived at Endo City to meet with someone; he walked into a Restaurant and sat down. "Hello, how may I help you?" Barrel looked to the woman and smiled.

"A glass of water and a plate of Curry, please." Barrel withdrew his PET and placed it on the table, the screen popped up.

"Okay, I'll be right with you. She smiled and walked away.

"Are you sure this is wise, Barrel-Taisa?" Colonel asked his operator. "We don't even know if this man can be trusted, and you want to hire him?" The Waitress walked back with a large glass of water and a plate of Curry a few minutes later.

“Thank you miss.” Barrel said with a smile and she walked away. Barrel picked up the glass and took a large gulp. "Yes Colonel," he put the glass down, "we need him, it's for the good of the team, and for the good of the Net." Colonel looked at Barrel with a 'I hope you know what you're doing' expression on his face.

"Why would he want to meet in this shop on the outskirts of Endo?" Colonel said.

"He said he wanted to meet in a secure location...but this is in public, how secure is this?" Barrel took another large drink of water and a few spoonfuls of Curry. As he ate, a man clad in purple sat down. His hair created a shadow over his face, but a scar over his right eye was clearly visible. "Ah, Miyabi-san, thank you for coming, would you like something to eat?" Barrel raised his arm to get the attention of the waitress but Miyabi grabbed his arm.

"I am not here for food; I am here to discuss business." Miyabi withdrew his PET from his sleeve and activated the Touch Screen. A Navi, also clad in purple, appeared. "Any business is discussed with Shadowman present. Now tell me, what do you require of my services? Someone taken out or a Navi deleted?” Barrel picked up his PET and made a large map appear.

"As you may or may not know, the net has been taken over by the Dark Chip Syndicate Nebula. The areas in purple are under their control. I am organizing a team of navis to defeat Nebula. I would like to hire you to help us." Barrel said, eating another spoonful of Curry.

"Just how many navis do you have for this team?" Shadowman said starring at Barrel.

"Well, myself and my Navi, Colonel, Princess Pride and her navi, Knightman, you might remember them from your exploits with the Net Mafia Gospel, and Netto Hikari and his navi, Rockma-" Shadowman erupted in a blaze of fury.

"That bastard Rockman! He's the cause of my previous deletion! I refuse to help him, or you!" Shadowman turned his back to the screen. Barrel sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Look, I know you have traveled over rough water with him, but we need your help, and I will pay you whatever you want." Barrel said.

"Not even for 50,000,000 Zenny!" Shadowman shouted. With another sigh, Barrel began to get up.

"Wait," Miyabi said, "As a mercenary, it is not my choice to turn down a job even if I don't like the person I will work with. As long as I get my payment once the deed is done, I am at your service." Barrel looked at Miyabi and smiled. Colonel appeared back on the screen with an "O_o" expression on his face.

"Thank you Miyabi-san, for your first task, I want you to go meet Netto in the Akihara Park..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The idea came to me yesterday about Barrel meeting Miyabi to hire him to assist with the Team stuff...I hope no one is out of character...I don't really write fics all that much, but I hope I did good with this one. \o/
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[Unknown Neo]

That does sound like it could have been how it happened. Nice work sketch.

[Midnight]

This is a rather nice starting work.

My main gripe with this fic is that it seemed, well, rushed. It did seem a tad short, and the events didn't seem to have a lot of depth to them. For the most part, the events seemed to be laid down, and just glanced over briefly. Other than that, the pace of the story as well as the dialogue were done quite well.

The concept is good, I'll grant you. The characters seem to be on the spot, although I will admit that I haven't played ToC, so I don't know all too much about the personalities of the characters featured in this work. I did feel a tad shaky about Shadowman and Miyabi's "double-take" about mercernerial honor--it seemed as though a simple light switch was flipped and they changed their minds. Perhaps a greater focus on the struggle between the conflicting beliefs of both navi and operator would have made his plight stick a little better in the reader's mind.

Other than that, this was a fine read. Good job.
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[Sol]

Hmm...it started off as a good, but as Midnight said, it felt too rushed throughout the whole fic.

And somehow, I don't see Shadowman exploding like that. His character is supposed to be cool and collected, since he is a ninja after all. You've protrayed Miyabi as a flat character as well; he doesn't really add anything to the fic.

And one tiny little canon nitpick: Miyabi demanded the chance to test Netto and Rockman before he joined the team; it wasn't assigned by Barrel.

Overall, this can be a good prelude to the Shadowman scenario in ToC, but the small details hold it back. The premise was interesting, I suppose.
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<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[Sol]

Hmm...it started off as a good, but as Midnight said, it felt too rushed throughout the whole fic.

And somehow, I don't see Shadowman exploding like that. His character is supposed to be cool and collected, since he is a ninja after all. You've protrayed Miyabi as a flat character as well; he doesn't really add anything to the fic.

And one tiny little canon nitpick: Miyabi demanded the chance to test Netto and Rockman before he joined the team; it wasn't assigned by Barrel.

Overall, this can be a good prelude to the Shadowman scenario in ToC, but the small details hold it back. The premise was interesting, I suppose.
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<3 Planty~
Art in icon done by Raburabbit.

[Sketch]

I failed. ;-;

I was completly unawate of Miyabi wanting to test Netto...back checking is your friend, remember that! XD
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[Sketch]

I failed. ;-;

I was completly unawate of Miyabi wanting to test Netto...back checking is your friend, remember that! XD
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[LgacyDX]

Hey, the story is going good Sketch. Keep it up.
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[Sol]

Don't worry, it happens. XD

I would suggest rereading this fic again and try to spot the parts that don't look right. The characterization of Shadowman is probably the biggest one, and adding some more lines for Miyabi would help flesh out his character. Fix up some dialouge and it'll be a good read.

One more nitpick:

[Sol]

Don't worry, it happens. XD

I would suggest rereading this fic again and try to spot the parts that don't look right. The characterization of Shadowman is probably the biggest one, and adding some more lines for Miyabi would help flesh out his character. Fix up some dialouge and it'll be a good read.

One more nitpick:

[Kitty-Chan]

Kind of rushed, but a good attempt nonetheless. Don't let this get you down; I guarantee my stuff is worse. -_-;
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Thanks for the avatar, Mandi!
People! We need more Blues/Netto & Forte/Netto on the net. Come on; help me out here! *gives everyone her Super-Adorable Irrisistable Sad Kitty Eyes(TM)*