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anime21
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 351
Location: somewhere out there.
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 Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 2:26 pm Post subject: Please Assist! |
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Well I can tell you this much, I didn't spend any time over one day to make this so I know there will be mistakes. I just was in the mood to type up a story, so I was thinking, "Why not type out a different version of Ari's story." So I did that. I just typed it out for no real reason. I'd like some advice to make it better so that I can make it better for the readers ^^;;. Bash it if you like also because it is only the first chapter and I need some bashes and advice to make it suit the reader. ^^;; Builds character. AND!!! I promise there willl be more characters. *so nervous and worried about the comments....*
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2380095/1/
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Last edited by anime21 on Wed May 18, 2005 2:38 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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anime21
Net Official
Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 351
Location: somewhere out there.
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| Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 12:44 pm Post subject: |
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well no one really replied but I still need some advice. can someone read the second chapter and see what i need to fix?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2380095/2/
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anime21
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Joined: 16 Mar 2005
Posts: 351
Location: somewhere out there.
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| Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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ok, update, since ther are a few people who do review... 3 to be exact... but 3 is good! ^^;; ummm please help...>.<
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2380095/3/
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