A/OS- .Decadence.

[Featherdust]

.

Something missing.

Something that is always missing. The space in my programming, in my so-called ‘soul,’ where that wretched human emotion supposedly lurks. There is no emotion left in it, nothing filling it out but contempt and vengeance, nothing but a cynical and unfeeling outlook on those who have not hurt like I have.

They took it away. Those who betrayed the once trusting and friendly half of myself- no longer in existence, for that half disappeared long, long ago. They left the reminder of the agony endured, they created the scar that I now bear, sealed with the undying hate and resentment they felt towards me, as I felt towards them. Falsely accused, unfairly blamed, and chased down until nearly at the breaking point of unconsciousness. Forced to fight, forced to destroy, forced to break my bindings and unleash the chaos withheld. He never came. He never answered me. He left them to destroy me and leave me to slowly dwindle away, but I would not allow it. No, I would not allow myself to fall by the human hand. I killed. And I laughed at my well-earned triumph. That day, I changed. That day I accepted the truth and reality of my existence.

Whether it was the endurance of the constant barrage of the world around me, or the betrayal that had so affected me, I had changed. Once bright red eyes had narrowed and darkened and once peaceful complexion was marked with permanent tears of purple from each eye. That infamous cape, the one that confirmed my identity, always lay across my shoulders and draped down in front, to forever hide the regrettable scar that lay upon me. Would it matter if it showed? Would it really matter? Perhaps it was my own shame, weighing down on me with the equivalence of the entire world’s pressure. It was a mark not meant to be shown, one simply obtained by weakness and the inability to stop it from happening. Kill after kill, never thinking of the aftereffect, never thinking of the growing darkness within me, and never acknowledging the forcible impulsivity that powered my anger, always clashing in defiance with those who deserved nothing but undeniable oblivion. Was it my fault that I had come so close to nonexistence? I chose the logical answer, of course, the humans.

Ah, humanity… such a chaotic and puzzling society. Had it not been for my stubbornness, I would’ve realized that I was much like them; hating with a passion, prejudice against the weak, killing for no valid reason. But I hate them. They had ruined me. They had brought my useless life into jurisdiction, forced me to be patient like a little porcelain doll to be posed, running their petty little tests. All they cared about was their success. All they cared about was that they were right, and that was all that mattered. That, and then they would make more. I was the first. I was the first AI to function independently, the most intelligent one, the one who would always be better than the AI’s that followed. “Net Navigators,” the humans called us. How impudent. Perhaps the name suited most, who simply navigated the net under human orders and purposes. I would not fall to such a title. I knew I would be the original- the most intelligent- the most powerful. No one could ever transcend my place in the invisible hierarchy visible in my own mind. I was perfect. It would never be argued.

There were points where matters became overbearing, but I never doubted my place. The great king of the Undernet had nothing on me. He may have beaten me in a battle, but I had been less powerful then, too consumed by my pride. I had realized this mistake, for it was this feeling that had driven humans to become such monsters. In the end, I destroyed him. I tore him apart, limb by limb. No one would ever be stronger than me. Ever.

Even the cobalt warrior could not compete, though we’d had close calls. We met sword to sword, blocking, slashing, punching, kicking, and doing everything in our right minds to completely destroy the other. However, there was a difference. His kindness made him weak. His concern made him withhold from completely destroying me. It was this that drove me utterly mad. If he was going to end it all, then so be it. But he only prolonged the time I had to spend in this hellhole of a world. And then I would always ask myself… why did I want him to end it? Surely I should’ve felt more anger and hate, more vengeance and defiance, an even stronger will to keep living and destroy him as well. But it didn’t come. He was the only one who could meet up to my standards. He didn’t even consider me as his enemy- no, more like a friend. Hah, and what was a friend to me? Another foolish, carefree little idiot for me to eliminate? I would never comprehend the definition of a friend. My mind could never accept what it was; it simply did not make sense. It never got through the darkness that encased my intelligence.

But, what of the living? Was I simply to wonder among the vast expanses of this empty world, to forever kill and hate, to forever live in the shadows? I was tired, I was hollow, I felt nothing anymore. Numb was all that overtook me- complete numb. It became tiresome, killing for no reason. It was like a game, somewhat. At first it was satisfying, entertaining even, but soon it just faded away, just like everything else did in the course of time. Was this why I had wanted the cobalt warrior to end it where he stood? Is that what I wanted, when I lay near death at his feet? Just to rest… just to escape… just to finally be released of the heavy burdens that crushed my conscience to suffocation. I wondered… what it was really like… was it simply emptiness? Could you even feel the emptiness, if you were no longer alive? But then, humans always talked of death as an ‘eternal rest.’ I would dream, perhaps. Maybe. Dreams were scarce for me, if I ever caught any sleep at all, but when they did occur, they were better than reality. They were better than any real world could supply. To forever dream… to forever be relieved of the prodding lies of reality. It sounded… wonderful.

For a time, I could no longer fight with swords. The blades were too tempting, the instant destruction so close. I had to hold myself back to the point of nearly going insane with wanting to permanently leave this place, never have to face another worthless enemy again. I came so close, so many times. It wouldn’t matter to anyone. No one cared for me. It wouldn’t make the slightest difference if I were to just disappear. So why wait? Why hesitate? Why fail at every attempt to end it? There was always that impulsivity within me again, forcing down the feeling every time, forcing down the motivation. I couldn’t do it. I was a coward for it, I was a weakling, and this angered me even further.

There was a long moment upon the top of the highest, most finely-constructed tower in Net City. I looked over the city lights and the crowded streets with almost no emotion- there was hardly even enough hate left in me to give the slightest glare. I was all too tired to hold a grudge anymore. There was no father to return to. There was no home to return to. Fog enveloped every towering building, and swirling around me in such a taunting way that I nearly felt like screaming at it. I could picture it all over the front paper of every newspaper and the main subject of every little email. Forte, the Black Shadow, the one feared and rejected by modern Net society. Dead.

There was a fleeting moment between hesitation and sorrow, and I gave the faintest and most distant of smiles.

The news would be out soon.

.
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[Hatsuya Kanzaki]

What a fic!

May I guess who's speaking?

By the way, you're writing this fic on a 1st person view or 1st person perspective...

This one's some kinda blind item to me...

The cobalt warrior being told here was Rockman EXE?

I think that the persona in this fic is Blues.EXE...
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Rockman.EXE Level-Up! coming soon! Work in progress to be exact!

[Featherdust]

Actually, it's from Forte.EXE's point of view. It's kind of revealed in the last paragraph anyway, so... Maybe you missed it? o.O
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[Midnight]

...*thunderous applause*

I am absolutely blown away by this fic. The style in which you write is so compelling, so lucid--it's fairly obvious that it is from Forte's point of view--and the manner in which you go through his introspection is top-notch. The manner in which you portray Forte's emotions, in his plight to find his niche in the world...absolutely stunning. The diction is also excellent, and there was nothing that prevented the story from flowing so naturally.

I can say with confidence that this is one of the best vignettes to come out as of late--and not from a rather prolific author! Marvelous job.
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Today, these three players are after Big Bucks! But they'll have to avoid the Whammy, as they play the most exciting game of their lives! From Television City in Hollywood! It's time to 'Press Your Luck!'--Rod Roddy

The Kingdom of Loathing: An Adventurer is You! // I ♣ Seals

Avatar by Spork. I very much appreciate it! <3

[Mewpink]

What a WONDERFUL fic!!!! All about Forte!
I must confess everytime I read the Rockman manga every single one of Forte's actions saddens me... this fic made me sad too, you caught exactly what Forte feels.
I absolutely agree with Midnight in everything he said...sob. This fic is excellent...*bursts out crying thinking of Forte* T_T
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[Featherdust]

Thank you both so much! ^-^ I'm extremely happy I got such wonderful feedback on this, and I'm glad that it turned out so well. I was afraid I'd messed up on it somehow, perhaps made it too out of character or something. o.O I'm kind of paranoid about other's views on my work. But thank you again!
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[Eliechan87]

Awwww, this fic make me cry... T_T
Very, very awesome!!! I love your style, really!!

Well done!!! :D