CI - A scandinavian life and adventure with net-navi's (OF)

 
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 6:00 am    Post subject: CI - A scandinavian life and adventure with net-navi's (OF) Reply with quote

Okay, in the previous topic I happened to just post a preview description of my future fan fiction, but this time it's a real deal. The first episode is online now. I've written the episodes with font colors and other font customization, but I didn't want to bother pasting and editing it again on this topic. That's why I started my own web that's font-friendly to my fiction's design. Enjoy reading it!

Before you start reading it, you might take your time to read the small genre info and other details.

Episode One details
Genre: Drama.
Humour level: Passive and innocent. Several sarcasm can appear.
Point of view: First person perspective, but the narration role swaps between characters sometimes.
Episode length: Around 20 pages, but might be easy to keep reading.
Rating: I would put it to G, since there's not much offensive contents in the episode. But for safety's sake, PG is recommended in some cases.
Language control: Mild, there is especially no F-word and no gay-word.

Are you ready? Go ahead!
http://www.freewebs.com/rtfact/episodeoneprologue.htm

- - - Disclaimer - - -
This is an original fiction, so every character, plot and some details are founded by my own fantasy. But the cult facts are somehow real (that includes the reference to The Shining, Tron etc). You may borrow my character's or other contents for your personal purposes, but only by my permission.
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Stars_Are_Projectors
Net Battler



Joined: 14 Jul 2006
Posts: 90
Location: Starman sig by Powerman.exe

PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is well-written, but it kind of drags by (seems slow). The rehash of the introduction of PETS felt kind of pointless, but I see what you're going for. The introduction of PETs to the Scandinavian culture (correct?). In that sense it was good (slow, but like Kyon's monologue in Haruhi, or Naota's in FLCL). I hope for some great action soon.
-Stars
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The stars are projectors, man. Projecting our lives down to this planet Earth.
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks a lot for sending me the first comment. For the fiction, I shall make sure to insert open rows between the clause elements to smoothen the fluidity; since a few space jumps from left is just for books to spare pages.

And yes, action will be definitely coming soon in the next episode that I've just started writing.

Regards, Artifact.
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BenOniSaito




Joined: 08 Jul 2006
Posts: 26
Location: The Endless Desert

PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm glad to see your format works so well. The story is sound, I look forward to your second episode.
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Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight.
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your patience have paid off; the 2nd episode is out, but yet only with one chapter. The other chapter will come later.

The difference you might have been expecting: More dialogues than the narration, so that might optimize the flow in the story. Besides, I'll bet that it won't take long to read it.

http://www.freewebs.com/rtfact/episodetwonetbullies.htm

Other than that, I've updated my CI logo on the main page, so you know how the mentioned characters looks more like. That includes Carl, Sahov and Sollun.EXE.
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Copied from my news website

The second chapter of Episode two has been added. In the meantime, I'm already done with the script of the third chapter, so that chapter might be released sooner than what it took for the previous chapters. I've also made sure to give the episodes a summary, to make the readers curious about the plot going on.

Episode 2 summary: Sahov is plugging his net-navi into the school network, intending to execute the mysterious plan. Carl on the other hand, plugs Sollun.EXE into the same network in order to get himself informed on the study he's missing while being in the toilet. Are those two navi going to cross their paths? What is Sahov up to anyway? And who are those bullying net-navi's roaming in the school network? This episode is only the beginning to give the plot it's thickening form.


In this topic, if you check back through the link to episode two above, you'll see that a chapter has been added by now.
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The third chapter is released now, so the Episode Two is therefore declared finished! New characters will make appearances and the plot will thicken even more.

If you have some quick comments, critiques and/or questions, you can stop by in my main page and cast your words in the shoutbox at the bottom of the page.

Sincerely, RT-fact.
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RT-fact
Net Agent


Age: 35
Joined: 05 May 2006
Posts: 220
Location: Visby, Sweden

PostPosted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right now, there are series of changes in my fan fiction's website and the first episode.
The template of the web has been completely changed, giving a good impression of the site, one of the main character's texts have been changed from black to orange and the news are switching to blogs so you can post your own comments for opinions.

http://www.freewebs.com/rtfact/index.htm

And for the prologue, I've removed some unnecessary stuff and corrected some grammars, so it should be a little smoother than it was earlier. Thank you, Stars!

Another thing to notice right now, is that I'm going to put a note on the top of that site, encouraging new readers to skip to Episode Two. The reasons are that Episode Two is a lot smoother that I've ever made, it sticks right to the main plot while Episode One simply makes some information on how Carl, one of the main characters, got his own net-navi.

If you have read Episode Two and wonder about the continuation with Episode Three, I'll be obliged to tell you that I'll soon continue working on it and release the chapters in a few weeks or so. We never know, but they will be released.

RTfact out!
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