A Very Merry Christmas. G. R. One Shot

 
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Elementalman.EXE
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:44 pm    Post subject: A Very Merry Christmas. G. R. One Shot Reply with quote

Well here I am with a Christmas fic....72 days after the time I wanted to publish it. >>;. I dunno why it took so long, unless real life counts as an excuse. It's a sequel of sorts to my previous ons shot.

Seriously, the title sucks. If anyone has a betetr suggestion let your voices be heard

A/N If a mod decided this isn't enough to be it's own body they can tell me so I can move it to my other one shot,
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December 20

It was Christmas time around Echo Ridge. Wreaths of holly hung along every door, snowmen were built on frozen grounds, and children could be seen having snowball fights before running home to much on cookies and sip hot coco. At Echo Ridge Elementary, students waited out the painful last 20 minutes of the day before the start of winter vacation. They had spent the last week of school barely learning, rather making Christmas ornaments, and decorating the school. Teachers had basically given up on teaching theier students, and instead had spent the day having parties. This was no different in Geo Stelar's class. His teacher had devised holiday themed experiments, which Geo had enjoyed greatly. He now sat alone in a corner, munching on some holiday cookies that his friend Pat had brought in. Perhaps he should have been joining in the festivities, but it was snowing, and Geo couldn't help but look outside at the snow. His moment of tranquility was interrupted by people approaching him.


Geo turned his head and looked at who had come up to him. It was his...well you could call them friends, Luna, Bud and Zack. Luna had forgone her normal stuck up suit, and instead wore a holiday sweater, and a red skirt. Bud was dressed the same way, except he donned a Santa hat, in place of his normal hat. Zack was the least festive of all, though he had put on a Rudolph nose in the last moments of class.

"Ahem, Geo Stelar, I present to you an invitation for my Christmas party, to be held on Christmas Eve, at my house," Luna said in a business like tone. "You are to bring a gift for your secret Santa, as listed on the back."

Geo turned over the card and read the name of his friend Pat on the back. Geo looked up into the Class President's eyes, and thought over his answer. "Hey now, you're not going to reject the Class President's offer of festivities are you?" Bud said in a menacing tone to try and intimidate Geo. "Because if you are..." Bud started to glare down Geo.

"Er, no, I'll come." Geo said to Bud's tough face. Geo thought that he had nothing better to do, so he might as well have some fun. It was, after all, Christmas.

"Excellent", Luna gave one of her smiles of approval,"See you at 5:00, and don't be late. Oh, and bring your friend, no sense in leaving her out. Bud, Zack, come on, we need to plan and hand out more invitations."

Bud and Luna turned away and began to pace away, Zack turned to Geo and said, "Bring an appetizer." before turning around and following Luna and Bud.

Geo sat back in his chair and briefly wondered who Luna was referring to. He suddenly realized that she was referring to Sonia, which surprised Geo; Sonia and Luna's relationship had been non-existent at best. Geo suddenly felt a little sad, he hadn't seen Sonia in awhile, and he really missed her. He momentary allowed himself to be caught up in when she fell asleep next to him during the meteor shower, before he was interrupted by the bell.

Geo packed up his books, bade his teacher and friends a Merry Christmas and set off on his way home. Geo threw on his coat and walked out the door into the cool winter breeze. He walked along the snow covered sidewalk, lost in thought. Sonia, after all, did have a life of her own, and perhaps she was busy Christmas, or maybe she didn't like parties. Geo's thoughts distracted him, and he almost went down a wrong street.

"Yo, GEO!" a loud voice that sounded like a growl said, "Where do you think you are going?

Geo suddenly looked up and realized his mistake, he doubled back and took the right street. he brought his right arm up a bit to a vertical stance, and he opened a blue device on his wrist. Inside he was greeted by a bear-like creature. "What's wrong with you, lost yer
mind or something?"

"No, Mega, I'm just thinking about Luna's party, and whether I should..." Geo suddenly cut off, moderately embarrassed about where this conversation was going. A blue light engulfed his screen and suddenly Mega was gone. Geo slid down a pair of glasses on his head,
and was met with Mega, life size in his face.

"You wanna ask Sonia out to this dance thing, don't you? Leave it to me."

And with a blue flash, he disappeared again, and left Geo, standing there, dumbfounded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another town, the area had indeed been decorated, however one house stuck out like a sore thumb. It had not been decorated, the only sign that it was Christmas at all in this house was the snow on the ground. The only one who lived there was a young girl. Sonia liked the holidays, it was a fun time, she just had no reason to decorate the house. She had no family to enjoy it with, and she doubted her friends would stop over at anytime, so she didn't bother the tedious task.

Sonia sat at her couch and picked out a few chords on her guitar. Seeing as how she had nobody to visit, she was wondering what to do on Christmas. "Maybe I'll get Lyra to take me to some where for a vacation. Like ...." Sonia sighed. The problem with being an idol, was that she had been anywhere of interest to her.

Sonia's thoughts were interrupted by a large flash of blue light from her guitars neck. the sudden shock caused her to fall onto the floor. She was worried about her friend.

"Lyra, what's going on-" Sonia asked frantically, worried she was being attacked, but Lyra sounded mad, not battle-ready.

"OOOF, move over you overstuffed wall decoration, there' barely and room in here when it's just me" Lyra grunted out, sounding muffled in the process.

"Well then -ARGH! you pulse out, I got something to tell her."

Sonia, worries were dropped, she knew that growl anywhere. "Hello Mega" Sonia said lazily, as she picked up her guitar and looked up at the screen in the corner. "What message do you have for me?"

"It's from Geo." Mega suddenly had Sonia's full attention. She hadn't seen Geo in a long time, what did he want? Was something wrong?

"He wants you to come to that Luna girl's Christmas Party with him." Mega replied, free of emotion. "It's on Christmas Eve, 5:00pm. You coming?"

Sonia was caught up in the moment. They hadn't been out together in a long time. Sure, there were other people around, being a party and all, but maybe they could find some time alone...

"Yo, give me an answer, I ain't waiting all day" Mega said in an annoyed growl. He really did hate waiting, why did it take humans so long to come up with an answer to such simple questions?

"O...okay." Sonia started, "I'll be there a-"

"Great." Mega said before disappearing in a flash of light, not letting Sonia finish.

Sonia stood dumbfounded for a minute, but soon looked at her friend Lyra. After a moment, Sonia smiled and so did Lyra. They both broke out laughing and Sonia fell onto her couch. "I wonder if I should get him something?' Sonia thought as she plucked out the melody she had written while being with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Yeah you got a date."

Geo sighed, Mega had come back not soon after Geo had gotten home. Geo was, despite Omega-Xis's rather rash way of getting him a date, happy about the situation. There was just one thing bothering him, he wondered if he should get Sonia something for Christmas. He had to get his Mom, Mr. Boreal, and Pat something anyway, maybe he should grab something for Sonia while he was at it.

"Mega, what do you get a girl for Christmas?" Geo asked the alien, momentarily forgetting who he was talking to.

"I dunno, if it was someone like that Luna girl, I'd get a restraining order."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 24

The day before Christmas is always hectic. During the daytime, the Christmas setting is interrupted by cars traveling to finish shopping, but by night time, the comfortable Christmas card setting had
returned.

Geo tracked through the snow carrying a small bag. In it was the secret Santa gift for his friend Pat, and the appetizer Zack had requested of him. He had gotten something for Sonia, when his mom had dragged him to do his shopping, and had endured endless teasing ever since. He gift was neatly concealed in his coat pocket.

Geo walked up to Luna's door an knock. He wondered if Sonia was there already or if he was first. A butler answered the door, and told him that the party was in the basement. Geo took off his shoes and walked along the splendid hallway, until he reached a set of stairs heading down. Geo felt that this was a little out of character for Luna, having the party in the basement as apposed to somewhere lavish. However when Geo reached the bottom of the stairs, he was suddenly amazed. This basement was the size of a theatre.

It was brightly lit, with a stage, complete with a band. Gourmet food lined the tables against the wall. Across from them were tables, with red and green tablecloths. in between the two was a shimmering dance floor. Geo's friends walked up to him in a pack, all dressed in their good clothing, and greeted him.

"I thought you were bringing Sonia?" was Luna's greeting.

"Eh, Sonia? Way to go" followed by a large smack on the back was Bud's greeting.

"Is that Swedish meatballs?" was Zack's greeting.

"Uh..." Geo started, but before he could, Luna was called away by someone, and Bud and Zack grabbed his food and ran off.

"Pfff, humans." Mega said while Geo put Pat's gift on the pile marked 'Secret Santa'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonia slowly inched her way down the stairs, she was really happy to see Geo again. She could hear the party, and suddenly got a little worried. Judging from the noise level, this was going to be a large party, what if she and Geo couldn't be alone at all....

She wore a simple red dress, nothing spectacular or too girly. Sonia did not know what kind of party it would be, so she didn't know if she should have dressed casually, or fancily. Why didn't Mega give her more information?

She made it to the bottom of the stairs, took a deep breath, then pushed the door open. Immediately she saw other guests and breathed a sign of relief that she was not over dressed. The second thing she did was scan the whole room for Geo, hoping that he was there. At last she saw him! He was standing over near a window, looking out into the night. Sonia began a fast trot towards him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geo was gazing out into the night. He looked up to the sky and saw no stars.

Come to think of it, he could never remember ever seeing stars on Christmas Eve. Geo was about to slip his visualizer on, when he heard something behind him. He slowly turned around, and gasped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sonia stopped a few paces behind Geo. her eyes met him and she felt he cheeks get a little hot with blushes.

"Geo..." Sonia said softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geo's eyes widened. Sonia was...beautiful. It wasn't the cute singer he knew so well, the one who wore that fake mask of fame, it was truly her. It was hard to explain. It was like he was seeing her for the first time again. He took a step toward her.

"Sonia...you're... beautiful..." Geo said this without thinking. He saw Sonia turn about six different shades of red, before he realized what he said. He felt his face grow hot as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonia's mind began to race a little bit. Geo had just said she was beautiful, she didn't know how to respond to that.

"Umm...I..." Sonia began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geo's mind raced. 'Oh no... why did I say that, why did I have to go and make things awkward? What can I do to make this better?'

"Umm..." Geo began, "So how have you been..." Suddenly Geo was interrupted. Luna had gotten up to the stage amid and begun speaking.

"Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to my little party. Everyone has arrived so, it's time to start the festivities. We'll start with dinner, then open our Secret Santa gifts, and then we shall dance. Now enjoy the music styling of this Band File, of the Rat Pack!"

There was a start up of music while everyone started moving towards the tables on the adjacent side of the dance hall. Geo and Sonia glanced at each other.

"Well... Let's get to a table then." Geo said softly. He walked up, and with a moment of hesitation, grabbed Sonia's hand and they walked towards a table.

Dinner was, in all truthfulness, stupid. While the food was good, Geo and Sonia's seats left much to be desired. They were right near Bud, Zack and Luna, which meant they never had a chance to talk. Whenever either of them would open their mouth to talk, someone else would interrupt, making some sort of random statement, like a Seinfield conversation. "This is nuts!" Geo though to himself. "How the hell am I supposed to talk to her if these guys won't let me get a word in". For some reason, Geo scanned the surrounding room, almost hoping to see some sort of escape.

Luna cleared her throat, which managed to bring Geo back to his sense. Luna stood up and told her table that it was time to open Secret Santa gifts. She enlisted Bud's help, and they left Sonia, Geo and Zack alone at the table.

Zack turned his head towards the two and said "I guess it's just us three". Zack said with an overly enthusiastic voice.

Geo's frantic scanning of the room, increased, he finally spotted a little dip into the wall, where the two could hide a bit. Geo cleared his throat and said; "Hey is that a crevice? I didn't know
they still made those, lets go stand in it, Sonia." Geo grabbed her hand and pulled her frantically towards it.

Sonia couldn't help but feel as bewildered as Zack at the randomness of what Geo had suggested, but neverthe less, she went with him. Geo dragged her towards a small dip in the wall. When they arrived at the wall, Geo pulled her down behind a large fern.

Geo looked up at Sonia, and began to chuckle. Sonia caught his eye and began to grin as well. "Interesting way to get me alone".

"Well with the way my friends like to talk, this was the only way. I mean, Bud's not around to get mad at me, or worse attack me, for ditching Luna, and Luna's not around to boss me into submission". Geo explained. Then Sonia put her head on Geo's shoulder and the two just sat there for a few minutes, finally alone with each other. Suddenly Geo heard some voices behind him. It was his friends, who were coming to retrieve the two, or spy on them, Geo did not know which one. He heard Zack explain what Geo had said, and hear Bud make some sort of comment about what Geo was up to. Sonia looked up a little distraught, and Geo just groaned. Before they could be interrupted, however, Geo was blinded by a green flash of light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two beams of light disturbed the clean Christmas Eve setting at Vista Point. Two kids appeared out of no where after the beams of light disappeared. with them were two creatures, one with blue armor covering a green mass of energy, the other in the shape of a Lyre.

Geo looked around the ridge, it was dark, except for Christmas lights which romantically lit up the small area. Geo turned and looked towards Sonia, noticing that both of them had somehow managed to get into there winter coats, and the two that brought them there.

"We thought the two of you would like a way out of there". Lyra told the astonished two.

"Yeah, so in other words you owe us". Mega began, before he saw Lyra glare at him. "I mean...call us when your done."

The two disappeared leaving the two alone. Sonia looked over at Geo and began to blush. Geo caught her eye and began to as well.

"I-" The two said in unison. "You-". Knowing how this kind on conversation can drone on, Sonia took charge.

"I....I got you something for Christmas." Sonia said, pulling out a small wrapped package. "I hope you like it.."

Geo smiled. "I got you something too". pulling out a package, wrapped in festive paper.

The two exchanged gifts, and opened them. Sonia had given him a red scarf, with his emblem in on it. Geo had gotten Sonia a personalized Music book, and writing utensils. "So you can write more music and remember me" Geo said, softly.

Sonia looked up, smiling. She placed the book in her pocket and walked over to Geo, stopping right in front of him. She grabbed the scarf and wrapped it around his neck. Sonia paused briefly and looked up. She looked back down, grinning. "Geo look, Up."

Geo looked up, over their head he noticed a weird plant, just sitting there, out of place. Geo pulled his head down, but as soon as he did, Sonia thrust her lips upon his. Geo was completely taken a back, until he realized that the plant was mistletoe...

Geo closed his eyes, and kissed her back, he slowly raise his hands to her back and embrace her, not wanting it to end. Around the two, snow began to fall.
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1000 Post on Sept. 18 2005 at 6:29pm
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TheWebbuilder
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Le interestingness... Let me get the nitpicks out of the way and then I'll comment on the work as a whole.

Quote:
Bud was dressed the same way, except he donned a Santa hat, in place of his normal hat.


This happened on and off throughout the fic. Generally, when you're have two words like 'hat' close together you'll want to replace one with a synonym. I've found shift+f7 to be a marvelous tool for such an occassion.

Quote:
"See you at 5:00, and don't be late. Oh, and bring your friend, no sense in leaving her out.


It's a minor detail, but one I can't help but comment on. The moment I read that line I was wondering how Sonia would deal with being mobbed by rabid fans and whether or not Luna would exploit the situation. The former was a bit of a plothole, while the latter doesn't really matter as much.

Quote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonia's mind began to race a little bit. Geo had just said she was beautiful, she didn't know how to respond to that.

"Umm...I..." Sonia began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Once in a while there were a few too many line breaks. When dealing with the third person point-of-view it's acceptable to shift the subject of the narrative at will. A break tends to indicate that a long period of time has passed between scenes, which wasn't the case here.

The final tidbit I'd like to throw out is that some of the key points with the plot, such as Sonia and Geo ducking away, or Geo noticing the plant which leads to the kiss, felt slightly random or came out of nowhere. It was a touch disorienting as it was, but served its purpose.

That said...

For your second work this it was very well done. The action flowed very well and the characters were developed and fleshed out to a nice degree. With the exception of Luna, everyone's motives were easily identifiable and their feelings delved into. Excellent job with that.

Likewise, your use of Omega-xis and Harp was very well done. You've singlehandedly turned two of the most ignored Star Force characters into strong people that acted and moved as they should. Your use of their character and abilities was ingenius.

All in all, this was a nice read. It might have had it's rough points, but it was still very enjoyable.

As towards a title... Inevibility comes to mind just because of the tone of the work. A more conventional title might be Christmas Cheer.
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Elementalman.EXE
Time to play the Game


Age: 33
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eh, I'll try to answer best I can

A) I was a bit bad here, to write this I used a crappy program called Word Pad...which is exactly a word pad, it has nothing special. And Gmail, because I intended to send it to you for final say Web....but I didn't.

B) I had one more scene where his friends were looking for him, and Luna looked out the window and saw the two kissing, and then she looked at a piece of paper with Geo's name, then she crumbled it up, smiled and walked away...

I felt it didn't...fit with the end of, I wanted to keep the focus on the fluff.

C) I didn't know what to do to indicate that I changed people, it felt random when I didn't have them there.
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1000 Post on Sept. 18 2005 at 6:29pm
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TheWebbuilder
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A) Ah... Word Pad... Well, maybe Open Office would suffice? I've never used the program but I've heard good things about it.

B) Valid point. That wouldn't have meshed well with the end of the story, but putting a toned down variant of it somewhere in the middle might have sufficed though.

I was actually referring to Luna trying to exploit the situation of having Sonia at her party. Luna's primarily a self-oriented character, and so for her to deliberately invite Sonia to her bash (someone that she considers a rival for Subaru's affections) felt just a touch OOC unless she could gain something by it.

C) *shrug*
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always write with Wordpad :P It ensures that I made an effort to go back and reread the story to check the spelling, where I can make any other changes I'm having second thoughts about. Wordpad is a perfectly functional program, if basic!

(and if everyone doesn't already know what it is, I'd be surprised, as it has been preinstalled on every Windows OS since 98...I admit to using the predecessor, Write, too.)
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