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Atreyu Net Battler
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 87
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 12:31 am Post subject: Thou Shall Not (Mega Show based) |
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2331875/1/
New fic; Mega Show based, contains dark and religious themes. I think my characterization may be a bit off, even in the situation. Please feel free to be brutally honest. I live for constructive criticism.
Thou Shall Not
By Atreyu452
He checked the weapon again, his fingers slipping over the polished shine. Weapon charged, safety off. Just like it had been the last time he checked, which was… He checked his watch. Four minutes ago. Give or take a couple of seconds.
Where was he? This was the right place, wasn’t it? Or was it another trap? He had gotten used to traps, but he hadn’t gotten the hang on actually avoiding them yet. He blamed it on no one but himself; his natural tendency to think the best of people and to look at things positively didn’t make him the most cautious person around. He tried, but he could never get the hang on it. Not like his—no, focus!
Think later, focus now. His brain repeated this mantra in a distant corner of his mind while he preoccupied himself once again with checking his weapon. It felt wrong to his touch, as if the metal had warped since he had first used it. He could wield it with ease; he had practiced for hours before heading out. Why should it feel any different now? Why now, of all times?
This feels wrong.
He cursed himself for allowing that thought to slip through. He had spent weeks deliberating over it, agonizing night after sleepless night at the very thought of what the weapon was meant for. He argued with himself in his room, pacing as he voiced both sides. The other side always won through logic.
Logic. It was always the logic that got to him. This was the most logical solution to the ‘problem’, they said. There was no other way; he had to do this. He was the only one who could, they said.
This is wrong!
They were right, in the end. He was the only one who could do this; he had no other choice. That didn’t make him feel better. That didn’t make the ache in his heart go away.
“Cain and Abel,” hissed a voice in his ear. “Tell me, which is which?”
Mega Man blinked; it was all he had time to do before pain slammed into his back at high velocity, knocking him from his hiding position to the cold, hard floor below. The weapon made a skittering sound across the cement floor and disappeared into the shadows. The dim moonlight seeping in through the windows of the warehouse revealed no hint of his attacker, but he knew who it was. He knew that voice; see the face of its owner without thinking.
“Come on out, Protoman!” he snapped, assuming a defensive position while scanning the ground nearby for his weapon. His arm cannon wouldn’t help him much in this fight; he needed that weapon to finish the job.
“So you can shoot me?”
So he knew. Mega Man shifted position, but was unable to locate the direction the voice was coming from. “We can talk about it,” he said feebly.
“Like hell, we can. You came here to do a job, as did I.” The voice was cold and indifferent, even when swearing. It was as if he didn’t care.
“I won’t let you.”
“You can’t stop me,” Protoman snarled back from behind.
Thou shall not…
This time Mega Man was ready for him, and he quickly ducked the imminent blow. Mega Man brought up a head block to deflect the crowbar cutting swiftly down. He winced as it bounced off his armored forearm, grabbed the arm that was holding it, and threw Protoman over his shoulder.
To his credit, Protoman rolled out of range and up-righted himself quickly. A small weapon was strapped to his thigh, and his hand hovered over it with clear intent. “Looks like I have the advantage, Mega. This weapon will kill you in one shot—just like your little lost toy.”
“We don’t have to do this,” Mega Man said desperately. “We can talk this out.”
“No.”
“Please?” The plea was a whisper.
“I’m going to set off the bomb, it’s going to kill a lot of people, and you are going to die before you can stop me. End of story.” He pulled out the gun and removed the safety with a click. “Now, shall I have a little fun and make you suffer, or shall I let you die quickly?”
Mega Man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I can’t let him shoot me, I can’t fail now…
“Or, will I let you join me?” Protoman twirled the weapon on his finger, letting it dangle in a lazy fashion. “I’m willing to give you this one last chance.”
Thou shall not…
Mega Man opened his eyes, staring deeply into the eyes of his enemy. They were hard and cold; they had always been that way, even before…
“If I agree, would you believe me?”
Protoman laughed, harshly. “No, but it would be a real nice gesture on your part.”
Mega Man remained still. “Protoman… they changed you, can’t you see that? You’re not the same anymore; this isn’t the same anymore! I can’t… I don’t have a choice, not anymore.”
Protoman’s grip tightened on the gun and he pointed it at the other robot’s face. “Game over.”
Mega Man faked a move to the right, and then dived forward, tackling Protoman around the kneecaps and bringing him down hard. The gun was knocked loose and bounced a few feet away, but Mega Man was too busy struggling to hold his opponent down to go for it.
“Why me, huh?” Protoman grunted, kneeing the other robot in the stomach. Mega’s weight on his legs lessened the impact, and the move failed to shake his enemy off. “Why me, and not someone else, you wonder. Why—argh—” Mega Man had managed to get his hands around Protoman’s throat and was squeezing hard.
Protoman responded by hitting Mega Man in the side of his head with his knuckles. The blow was just enough to knock Mega Man off-kilter, allowing Protoman to twist the situation around and pin him to the floor.
“I’m the only one who knows the codes to start it,” he hissed. “That’s why they sent you, isn’t it? You’re the only one who could have stopped me. They didn’t change me, they made me better. They made me stronger, less weak.” He spat the word as if it had left a foul taste in his mouth.
“And what did you give up for it?” Mega Man snarled back. “What did you sacrifice in order to gain power? They killed Dr. Wily in order to get that bomb, and you don’t even care!”
“Why should I? I’m better now, thanks to them. Tell me, Mega, which one of us is which? Who will be Cain, and who will be Abel?” He viciously dug his fingers into the other robot’s neck, a twisted smile highlighting his eyes as Mega Man gagged. “Who will die, and who will live on?”
Mega Man rolled his eyes back and went slack. Protoman’s grip loosened, giving Mega Man enough leeway to bring his head sharply forward. He slipped out of the fingers encircling his neck and slammed his head against his opponent’s with a painful crack. Protoman’s grip faltered as he titled to the side, trying to clear his star-filled vision.
Mega Man recovered first and smashed his fist into his enemy’s gut, knocking immobile with pain until he found a steady position. Risking letting his eyes wander from his opponent, he did a quick sweep and discovered the gun a few feet away. Grabbing it, he leveled the weapon on his enemy and made an upward motion.
Protoman stumbled to his feet, wiping saliva and flecks of dark liquid from his chin. His eyes were glued to the gun. “No second chances? I change my mind.”
He received no answer.
“Did you hear me? I said I change my mind! I surrender. Take me to your leader, or something.”
“I can’t believe you, not anymore. You’re not the person you used to be… I’m sorry.”
“You wouldn’t…” Protoman hissed,anger and fear reflected in his eyes.
Thou shall not…
“Forgive me, brother,” Mega Man whispered. Then he pulled the trigger.
Thou shall not kill.
Author’s notes: This fanfic is based of a prompt of a scenario where the right thing to do would be to violate one of the Ten Commandments, which is why it has numerous biblical references. I’ve labeled it AU because of the mostly unexplained events which have forced Mega Man into this situation. I’m trying to get back into writing these characters, so please feel free to let me know if anything seems shaky. _________________ Also known as Atreyu452. Icon credit goes to hobbit_marked on livejournal.com.
I have nothing witty to say here.
Last edited by Atreyu on Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:55 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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Sigma.exe Net Battler
Joined: 26 Mar 2005 Posts: 57 Location: Forever lost in perpetual motion
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:08 pm Post subject: Wow! |
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A very interesting fic! This is one of the most tragic and conflicting fanfics I've read thus far...and I mean that in a good way! Religious references fairly easy to spot; it's always controversial to discuss something like that, especially in a fanfic. Somehow, though, you managed to pull it off and create an intriguing story! Seriously, it was a well-written fic, and I'd like to see more. _________________ I know the guy who lives next to me. He is a useless, good-for-nothing freeloader who sits in front of his computer all day and does nothing but eat, sleep, and ponder his mundane existence.
...Now why on earth would my neighbor say that about me?! |
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Ganon Net Savior
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 120 Location: The World
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:24 pm Post subject: Re: Thou Shall Not (Mega Show based) |
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Atreyu wrote: | http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2331875/1/
New fic; Mega Show based, contains dark and religious themes. I think my characterization may be a bit off, even in the situation. Please feel free to be brutally honest. I live for constructive criticism. |
Your link doesn't work and I want to read. _________________ I think so Brain....
Avatar came from wheretheresawill.livejournal.com |
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Atreyu Net Battler
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 87
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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That's strange; it's working for me as a popup window. Do you have a popup blocker? _________________ Also known as Atreyu452. Icon credit goes to hobbit_marked on livejournal.com.
I have nothing witty to say here. |
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Enzan_Blues_FanGirl Darkloid
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 538 Location: Sitting on Dark Blues
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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Atreyu.. It didn't work.. I wanted to read it... _________________
|D|A|R|K| |B|L|U|E|S|
My anti-drug |
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Ganon Net Savior
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 120 Location: The World
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Atreyu wrote: | That's strange; it's working for me as a popup window. Do you have a popup blocker? |
Actually yes but it says that it is not found. _________________ I think so Brain....
Avatar came from wheretheresawill.livejournal.com |
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Enzan_Blues_FanGirl Darkloid
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 538 Location: Sitting on Dark Blues
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Ganon wrote: | Atreyu wrote: | That's strange; it's working for me as a popup window. Do you have a popup blocker? |
Actually yes but it says that it is not found. |
Yeah it does _________________
|D|A|R|K| |B|L|U|E|S|
My anti-drug |
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Atreyu Net Battler
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 87
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Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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Sometimes ff.net can be tricky; the link works for some and not others. It'll probably work eventually, but I've edited the original post so the entire fic is there. _________________ Also known as Atreyu452. Icon credit goes to hobbit_marked on livejournal.com.
I have nothing witty to say here. |
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Enzan_Blues_FanGirl Darkloid
Joined: 15 Mar 2005 Posts: 538 Location: Sitting on Dark Blues
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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Wow.. That was really.. Sad... and Dark.. but it was really good! Your the best FanFic writer I know!
ProtoMan was awesome.. And the whole Cain and Abel thing really got me... Are you going to write more? _________________
|D|A|R|K| |B|L|U|E|S|
My anti-drug |
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May Net Battler
Joined: 16 Mar 2005 Posts: 54 Location: New England
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Posted: Tue Apr 05, 2005 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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A beautiful piece. Pretty dark, but I like it. You depicted the characters wonderfully. You're writing getting better and better. The whole scene seems to go by very quickly, but I guess they can't just shoot or wrestle back and forth continuously to lengthen it =) |
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